episode_0132

I had never been to a concert before, but as I entered and found my seat, my heart fluttered strangely.

The stage was sporadically visible due to people passing by, yet just that sight heightened my anticipation.

“Wow, I thought it would be similar to watching a movie, but it’s quite different, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s my first time too, so I’m a bit nervous.”

Choi Eiseo also seemed excited for her first concert, a faint smile playing on her lips.

The atmosphere wasn’t bad.

Because I had my arm around her in line, some people occasionally shot jealous glances our way, but it was only a minor issue.

Since it was rare for someone to come alone to such concerts, everyone was busy with their partners.

“I wonder what’s going to happen. I’m so excited.”

Choi Eiseo tried to contain her excitement by tapping her feet.

Seeing her act like a child in this way felt uniquely endearing, and I felt proud of successfully securing the tickets.

There used to be occasional pangs of guilt when sacrificing Han Kang and Pyojinho, but looking at Choi Eiseo so happy, I felt like I could sacrifice them a few more times without any problem.

“Oh, looks like it’s starting.”

Just then, some lights dimmed, drawing attention to the remaining lights shining towards the stage.

I expected cheers to erupt when the singer appeared on stage, but instead, the audience fell silent, captivated by the mesmerizing voice echoing through the venue.

* * *

“Wow.”

After sitting in one position for three hours, I stretched my stiff neck from side to side.

Choi Eiseo walked beside me, pressing on my neck to help relieve the tension.

After giving each other massages, we shared our thoughts on the concert.

“I didn’t realize concerts could be this grand. It’s really impressive to see it in person.”

I nodded in agreement as Choi Eiseo expressed her enthusiasm.

“It’s so different experiencing the music live rather than just listening to recordings. It felt like I was absorbing the songs with my whole body.”

“Oh, that’s a great analogy. Exactly.”

I nodded as I pressed gently on Choi Eiseo’s delicate neck. That expression seemed just right.

“Now, what should we do? Should we grab dinner?”

The concert had ended, and it was already dinnertime.

With the sun setting and our stomachs growling, I checked my phone for nearby dining options.

“No, not now.”

Choi Eiseo softly pushed my hand away.

I thought the massage had been enough, but there was an unusual heaviness in her voice.

The cheerful atmosphere from moments ago chilled like a winter breeze.

Taking a step forward, Choi Eiseo distanced herself from me, and my hand, which had been massaging her neck, lay there wistfully.

As if lamenting her departure.

“Choi Eiseo?”

Feeling uneasy, I called out her name urgently.

If not, it felt like she might leave without even looking back.

“Wujin, listen carefully from now on.”

Choi Eiseo’s blue eyes were moist, tears welling up, but they didn’t fall, as if hoping I wouldn’t notice.

“During the break, I worked with Yoonji.”

“…”

It was not a pleasant name.

It still lingered in my heart, a heavy presence, creating an uncomfortable feeling.

“Right now, Yoonji is working with your brother.”

“I know, she said she’s working with your younger brother.”

I heard about it from my older brother last time.

I don’t know exactly what they’re doing together, but still.

“I helped Yoonji there. Actually… I wanted to hear about you from Yoonji.”

“… ”

“So, what I want to say is, Yoonji hasn’t forgotten about you.”

When my older brother mentioned something similar last time,

I imagined such a scenario.

If Yoonji hadn’t left me for some unspeakable reason.

Then how should I react?

“Yoonji is working for you right now.”

“For me…?”

“Yeah, to free you from the family business. So that you don’t have to rely on your family.”

A chilling sensation crept over me.

Family and business.

The blood of my father within me boiled with the feeling of living as the successor of a company.

“It was just a misunderstanding… No, a divergence that led us to part ways.”

“…”

A sense of unease settled in.

During the vacation after the end of the first semester, living like a recluse.

I had imagined and hoped for it countless times, believing it to be true.

And it had to be Choi Yiseo who was telling me.

She, who had helped me the most to push away the memories of that day.

Her, of all people.

She was now forcing upon me the memories of that day and an unknown truth.

My chest felt tight with unease.

My tongue felt heavy with the weight of it all.

There seemed to be a hint of moisture in my eyes.

Unable to respond, lost in confusion, I could only stare as Choi Yiseo smiled wryly and said, “Let me speak first, Woojin.”

Effortlessly.

And candidly.

Choi Yiseo calmly expressed words that others wouldn’t dare utter.

“I’m feeling guilty.”

Why?

Such words needed to be said.

But all that escaped my pursed lips was a white breath.

“Yoonji is my friend. You were a friend’s boyfriend. Even morally, this isn’t right.”

Choi Yiseo’s expression began to distort gradually.

As tears threatened to fall, she hurriedly wiped them away with her hand.

“Woojin, do you know what I thought after learning all this?”

Trying to force a smile, my cheeks stiffened awkwardly.

“A little.”

“…”

“Just a tiny bit.”

A wish tinged with complaint.

An earnestness veiled in regret.

“I wanted to meet you earlier.”

Finally.

Choi Yiseo smiled at me.

Without shedding a tear, without any awkwardness, her smile was a confession of love towards me and a farewell gift.

One day.

When I reminisce about our memories.

This moment.

Choi Yiseo’s bright smile will be the epilogue of our memories, the punctuation mark of our short-lived love.

“Again.”

Realizing that.

“Do I have to go through the same thing again?”

I approached Choi Yiseo determinedly.

The stiffness I felt just moments ago now felt like a lie. Mourning and missing the departed in a corner of my room while sobbing uncontrollably no longer suited who I was.

“When Ahn Hyunho confessed and you said those words to me on the way home, do you remember?”

I reached out my hand.

Choi Yiseo took a step back to avoid it.

“You don’t have the right to hold onto me, saying you’ll give it to me.”

I wasn’t giving up on holding her.

Reaching out my hand again.

“Don’t hold me. Things are different now compared to back then.”

This time, Choi Yiseo pushed my hand away.

Yet, I reached out my hand again.

Grabbing her wrist as she tried to push me away, I closed the distance between us.

The closeness was palpable, almost breathless.

Filled with a mix of anger and frustration, I reproached her.

“Do you know what really bothers me?”

My head felt hot with anger, and amidst this situation, there was one thing that irked me to the point of disgust.

Someone who had driven a wedge between Yoonji and me?

My second brother who hadn’t properly explained things and separately called Yoonji?

No.

None of it.

“All of it!”

It was you.

Choi Yiseo.

“Why do you feel guilty?”

I resented her for feeling guilty.

“Why do you bow your head like a sinner for something you didn’t do wrong?”

I disliked her regretting the past.

Because I…

“You saved me!”

I had received help from her.

Thanks to her, I could potentially love someone else and start anew.

Choi Yiseo had made that possible.

She was the one who had fixed me.

“Why are you regretting that? Why are you thinking of it as a sin? What did you do wrong!”

If there was a mistake, it would be between me and Oh Yoonji or someone related.

At least it wasn’t Choi Eiseo.

“I won’t let you go.”

Releasing her wrist, tears streaming down silently with tightly closed lips, I embrace her gently into my arms as if hiding her within.

“You are not the perpetrator at all. No one can point fingers at you.”

A bad woman who loved her friend’s lover?

No, not at all.

If anyone deserves blame.

“It’s not you, it’s me who’s the bad guy.”

That had to be me.

“I’m the spineless trash who flirts with this girl and that girl.”

Seo Yerin is like that, Yu Arin is too.

They both end up liking me, and being in such an awkward situation ultimately falls on me.

“Because I’m the bad one, don’t worry.”

You just happened to meet the wrong man.

Instead, I will likely become the target of stones for reaching out even to my ex’s friend.

“Do as you please. Whatever you do, I’ll end up being the bad one anyway.”

If you want to love, then love.

If you want to leave, then just go.

If you want to forget the past and pretend, then do so.

But.

I hoped it was your own feelings.

I wished you weren’t feeling guilty through someone else because of what you’ve done.

Choi Eiseo, sobbing, hit my chest weakly with her fist.

An accusation with no strength.

“How could you do that?”

“….”

“Even if I’m here, can you say you’ll meet someone else… as if it’s for me?!”

“Am I trash?”

Smiling wryly, I slightly tightened my grip around Choi Eiseo in my arms.

“So, even if you like me, isn’t it inevitable?”

“You bastard! You jerk!”

As Choi Eiseo’s hand pounded on my chest, more force seeped in.

Rather, it felt like she was returning to her original self.

Facing the winter wind, a refreshing laughter emerged.

Looking up at me in that moment, Choi Eiseo clenched her fist and took a deep breath.

“Bad men.”

Just like when we were standing in line earlier, she hinted at me.

“This is when you kiss.”

Ah.

“You have a lot to learn.”

Placing one hand around Choi Eiseo’s waist and supporting the back of her neck with the other, I kissed her.