Chapter 79: Drunken Jokes (1)

Chapter 79: Drunken Jokes
(1)

Serif’s
first reaction to hearing Hope’s screams was.

“Something’s
happened.”

She
was blushing, chewing her white tail like a gag, but now she had the
air of a serious, elite priestess.

With
a flick of her wand, her bathrobe vanished, and a clean robe of
priestly garb enveloped her body.

I
swallowed hard; the transformation had happened so quickly I hadn’t
seen it.

“I’m
going to go downstairs and see what’s going on, and Balkan is taking
a break.”

“But
the voice came from the men’s room.”

“Eh.”

Serif’s
red eyes widened slightly at my report.

Her
eyes widened with embarrassment, as if this was a rare occurrence.

“Gahhhhhh!”

Then
another scream rang out.

This
time, it wasn’t Hope’s voice.

“Hitolis?

The
priest of the Joy Hog Party.

“I’ll
head to the male cleansing chamber first, Serif, and you can check
the other side.”

“Oh,
okay, just get him out of here and I’ll check it out.”

We
quickly headed downstairs. I followed Serif down the stairs.

As
we descended each flight of stairs, her chewed tail wagged
seductively in front of my eyes.

‘I
wonder what it would feel like to pull it.’

I
resisted the urge to act.

“What’s
going on here?”

“Serif!”

“Well,
that is. I just came back and heard some screams coming from the
purification chamber.”

The
priests gathered nearby squinted at Serif.

From
the way they spoke, it seemed like they hadn’t quite grasped the
situation yet.

Serif
treated the priests gathered around her in a completely different way
than she treated me.

It’s
like the difference between an office worker who’s enjoying himself
after work and one who’s exhausted from overtime and late nights.

The
way she talked was not much different, and she was smiling in a way
that seemed warm at first glance⋯but
it felt like a forced smile with no emotion.

Maybe
it was because I had just seen Serif’s sincere expression, but the
threshold felt even bigger.

“Oh,
what should I do, what should I do⋯!”

“Why
isn’t the male Paladin coming!”

I
turned my attention away from the emotions and toward the men’s
purification room, where I could hear screams and chatter.

I
rammed the door open and entered.

“Gah!”

The
male priests huddled together in the purification chamber began to
cover their torsos and stomachs.

“Aaah!”

I
swallowed the bad words that were about to come out of my spinal cord
reflexes and made my way to where they were huddled.

“Ew,
ew, ew.”

I
caught sight of Hope, gasping for breath on the floor of the
purification chamber, his face contorted.

Honestly,
in the back of my mind, I was considering the possibility that he’d
screamed out during the bath.

Unfortunately
or fortunately, I was wrong.

“Bar,
Balkan?”

“Yes.
It’s Balkan. Are you awake?”

Hope
slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me.

‘Okay.
At least he’s conscious. ‘

I
looked at Hope’s body, which was the average male in the world and
immediately frowned.

“What
the hell happened?”

A
very faint [darkness] was felt within Hope’s reddened body.

It
is far more primitive than the monsters, and is nothing more than a
claw compared to Diana’s curse.

It
was definitely [Darkness].

Straining
my eyes, I checked Hope’s status window.

[Blasphemous
Curse]

–
Contact with objects imbued with holy power causes excruciating pain.

–
Even so, you will instinctively crave powerful holy power.

“I
don’t know, as soon as I sprinkle holy water on myself to take a
bath, I feel pain⋯”

Holy
water has a weak divine power.

When
you sprinkle such holy water all over your body, you can’t help but
feel pain to the point of screaming.

“Huh!”

“Why,
why?”

Hope
cried out, his eyes suddenly wide.

“Looking
at you, my body is getting hotter and hotter⋯
my heart is racing⋯
I can’t calm it
down⋯”

Apparently,
it wasn’t just his body that was sick.

I
wondered if the holy water sprinkled on his hair had hurt his head as
well.

It
wasn’t easy for him to talk.

“Hang
in there, I’ll take you to Serif soon-”

“Ugh,
ouch!”

“Hey,
shit.”

As
I bent down to pick him up and carry him down the hall, Hope lunged
at me with his arms outstretched.

-Tsk!

Instinctively,
I threw a short punch with my Radiant Blessing, catching Hope in the
jaw. Luckily, I managed to control my force.

Hope
fell to the ground just as I lunged at him.

As
he hit the ground, I heard a strange sound.

“Is
Mr. Hope dead?”

Contrary
to the words muttered by the male priest looking on, Hope’s back
slowly rose and fell as he collapsed into a slouched pose.

“He’s
still breathing.”

Not
only that, but the Blessing of Radiance tore through the [Darkness]
within Hope’s body.

“⋯⋯”

“⋯⋯”

As
he spoke with inward relief, the male priests’ icy gazes fell upon
me.

“Well,
it’s self-defense. You saw that, didn’t you?”

“Hmm.⋯”

“Mr.
Hope was in a strange state⋯”

I
walked over to the fallen Hope. I didn’t want to hug him, so I
carried him around my waist like a piece of luggage and left the
purification room.

Hitolis
was already lying in the hallway in front of the purification
chamber.

Thankfully,
it seemed to be a bloodless affair. With Serif there, that was to be
expected.

I
laid Hope down next to Hitolis and carefully examined her body.

I
could feel the aura of [Darkness] within her body.

[Blasphemous
Curse]

Hitolis
had the same curse as Hope.

Serif,
who had placed her holy hand on Hitolis’ back, spoke in a low voice.

“It
looks like they were cursed on your last trip to the Labyrinth, and
it’s a pretty bad curse.”

“So,
it was from this trip to the Labyrinth.

Somehow,
I wondered why they both had curses that hadn’t existed before they
entered the Labyrinth.

Sure
enough, as I recall, they, along with Jubeel and Joy Hog, were
shivering as we exited the maze.

What
a curse.

“That’s
the worst curse for a priest.”

A
priest deals with the divine.

If
a cleric is cursed to feel great pain when he touches the divine, he
will crave it even more.

‘I
would have jumped up and down with joy if I had gotten it.’

A
ridiculous self-destructive cycle is complete. A literal circle of
pain.

‘That
explains why Hope jumped at me⋯’

[Blessing
of Radiance]

This
blessing naturally came to mind.

A
light far more green and warm than the light contained in the holy
water. A light that lightly tore through the darkness.

‘Could
it be that the Blessing of Radiance has divine powers?’

It
was a plausible deduction.

“Priests.
Please prepare for the sacrifice. We will begin the ritual of the
sunrise. Please move Hitolis with particular care.”

At
Serif’s words, the priests watching from the periphery began to move
in unison, carrying the two cursed people.

Serif
cautiously stepped to my side and whispered.

“By
any chance, did Balkan do this?”

“Yes?
Which one do you mean?”

“Mr.
Hope, what you said. The darkness of the remnants… I don’t feel
any magi.”

“Magi⋯?”

“Yes.
Magi. A loathsome, horrible aura.”

Serif
called what I’d been calling [Darkness] by the name of the Remnant
Darkness, the Magi.

‘That’s
a shitty name.’

“Curses
are tricky enough, but those with magi attached to them are even more
vicious than conventional curses, and they’re twice as difficult to
perform, so I’m guessing Mr. Hope is under a magi-infested curse
along with Hitolis, since I don’t sense any magi on him.”

I
involuntarily remembered driving my blessed fist into Hope’s face.

‘I’m
pretty sure that’s when the darkness was torn away.’

“Mmm.
I see!”

Serif,
who had been observing me carefully, smiled broadly at my
recollection.

She
looked as if she’d gained some sort of conviction.

“Thanks
to you, Balkan, this will be easier.”

She
had examined my blessing, and even if she hadn’t said it, she seemed
to have come to a conclusion quickly.

“Please
hone that power further. It seems like it’ll be a bit more sinister
for a while.”

“The
Labyrinth is getting nastier?”

“Yes⋯
I haven’t seen magi
above the fifteenth floor since ‘that day’ ten years ago⋯
but I think it’s because of the recent omens that they’re starting to
reappear.”

I
remembered the shadowy, ominous, dark beasts I’d seen every time I’d
entered the Labyrinth since the Omen, and the terrible abomination
that was darkness itself.

‘I
wonder if that was Magi’s possession.’

After
thinking about Magi for a moment, I asked Serif a question.

“I
have, but from the looks of things, neither the priests nor the
explorers seem to know much about Magi.”

“Hmmm,
that’s the thing, Balkan. You’re a low-level explorer, right?”

“⋯Yes.”

Serif
suddenly asked, “So, what’s your tier?”

I
nodded sheepishly, realizing that I was a Bronze novice.

“Ah.
I don’t blame you, Balkan, for being a low-tier explorer, of course
you don’t know, and I doubt many of the intermediate ones do.”

Serif
smiled bitterly at me.

“It’s
a sad fact, but every time the Labyrinth opens, explorers die by the
dozens every day, and new explorers flock to it to fill the void, for
there is something to be gained only in the Labyrinth.”

Blessings,
artifacts, rare powers and treasures that can only be found in the
Labyrinth.

Explorers
flock to the Labyrinth like moths to a flame to get them, and die in
the process.

And
new explorers fill the void.

“You
also can’t ignore the passage of a decade, which means that far more
people don’t know about Magi than know about it.”

Of
those who were active a decade ago, the talented ones quickly moved
up the ranks, while the rest either faded away, quit exploring, or
ran out of steam.

Even
Joy Hog’s party, which has the longest seniority among the junior
explorers, has an average of three and a half years of explorer
experience.

Ten
years was a long way off.

“Do
you think that answers some of your questions?”

“Yes.
Thanks for letting me know.”

“Hoohoo,
if there’s anything else you don’t know or want to know, just ask.”

Serif
smiled brightly, her tail flicking at my thanks.

It
was a genuine, heartfelt smile that she didn’t show her congregants.

Suddenly,
I had a question.

‘How
old is Serif, if she knows so much about what happened ten years
ago?’

She’s
Idelbert’s sister, so she must be younger than her but then I
realized that I don’t even know Idelbert’s age.

Even
in this world, it would be rude to ask a woman’s age, so I swallowed
my question and asked another.

“If
you get cursed, is that what they do to you?”

“Uh,
no. Unfortunately, we have to charge outsiders a fee to do so, it’s a
temple rule.”

Serif
continued.

“But
it’s different for those of us who follow the Great Mother Goddess.
How can we stand by and watch someone who walks the same path as us
suffer?”

Indeed,
one must have such a character to be respected by others.

As
I stare in stunned admiration at Serif, who has made such a saintly
statement, she looks at me and perks up her white cat ears.

“Are
you envious?”

“Yes.”

You
never know what’s going to happen in a person’s life, much less in
the labyrinth. I could certainly be cursed.

I
nodded, and Serif suddenly leaned in close to me.

“Then.”

We’re
almost touching.

She
stares at me, the distance between us barely touching, and asks.

“Why
don’t you walk the same path as me, Balkan?”

***

I
decided to leave the topic of reparations and compensation for
another time, and parted ways with Serif, who went off to remove
Hitolis curse.

I
returned the bathrobe and was given a change of clothes.

The
clothes were a little tight, but I didn’t complain, figuring I’d find
something else that fit, so I put them on and left the temple.

I
walked through the streets of the Labyrinth City as the sun began to
set.

Already,
I could hear the chattering and drinking parties.

In
the shadows of a corner, a daring couple was mixing their tongues in
a flirtatious manner.

The
woman was taking the lead.

Alcohol.
Sex. All the normal human needs.

These
are all things you’re supposed to stay away from when you join the
Mother Earth Goddess.

‘I’m
supposed to be celibate here?’

I
shake my head, feeling the heavy buildup of semen on my bottom that
I’ve been unable to quench.

‘It’s
not easy.’

Honestly,
I am
close to my limit now. I’d have to think about Serif’s suggestion.

‘I
should get back to the inn and rest.’

As
I walked through the streets, my body
was still
damp from the labyrinth and the bath.

“Mr.
–!”

A
familiar voice called out from behind me.

Light
footsteps rushed toward me.

“Mr.
–!”

-Hwaah!

I
reflexively turned my body slightly, and the person who had lunged at
me with both arms outstretched, aiming for my back, fell to the
sidewalk.

“Heh!”

A
cute little squeal kicked up dust.

As
the woman fell, white paper spilled out of the bag that had fallen
with her, fluttering around her.

The
fall lifted her skirt, revealing the panties wrapped around her
smooth, shapely ass.

Plain
white panties with crude but cute flower designs on them.

The
panties were ripe for the picking as she flapped her ass.

A
red-haired elf girl, Diana’s daughter, fell to the floor with her
arms outstretched in front of her.

“Ellie,
why are you here?”

Ellie
Ordia flinched at Balkan’s words.

She
pressed her wide-brimmed wizard’s hat down tightly to hide her face.

“⋯⋯”

Her
long elven ears twitched in embarrassment and poked at the brim of
her hat.

She
was maddeningly ashamed.