episode_0008

Time flies.

I can’t help but say that it goes by incredibly fast. Maybe it’s because I’m looking back on what’s already passed, or maybe it’s because I spend every day doing something similar, so my sense of time becomes blurred… Well, the reason is fine.

It’s been about six years since I became Liliane. I recently turned ten, and a banquet where I will make an official appearance is already scheduled.

When I first heard this story, I was actually a little nervous. My memories of various novels I had read in my past life overlapped slightly. I was wearing a pretty dress and dazzling jewels, stealing everyone’s attention at the party, dancing and flirting with attractive princes and other male protagonists, and then getting hurt by one-time extras who got jealous and tried to do something about me.

But realistically, I was a royal with a right of succession, and how many children who didn’t know how to value their lives would try to do something to me? Besides, even if they could dance, if they wanted to make eye contact and do something sweet, there was one huge problem. It was me.

Honestly, do you think I could date kids my age?

I am Lilianne. I have no intention of being entangled in my past life that I can’t even remember well, and saying that it’s someone else’s life. This is something I already concluded several years ago. However, in any case, I was probably an adult and a man in my past life. I was smart and a royal, so objectively speaking, I can say that my mental age is very high.

Accepting that you are a woman and calling people oppa or unnie and falling in love with a man are two completely different issues, aren’t they? I don’t know about now, but in 5 or 6 years, in the novels I’ve read, you’ll be at a point where romance is starting to burn up, but I can’t even imagine being with kids that age right now.

But you never know. Isn’t love one of the factors that has devoured all nations, East or West, past or present? While thinking like this, you might fall in love with someone who is your type and think, ‘Wow… there was a time when I thought that way when I was young…’ and it might remain as a part of your memories.

Love.. yeah. What on earth is love?

I can’t even remember my name from my previous life, so I can’t remember if I had a lover or if I was married. But, knowingly or unknowingly, I have a pessimistic view on love, so I have a feeling that I’m not married at least.

Then what about Liliane? She wasn’t much different. First of all, the only men around her were her brothers, Yugram, and a few knights who came to train. She didn’t have a single hint of pink, and she didn’t seem to have much interest in the conversations during dinner, such as imagining an event where her ideal type would come to her before going to bed, or how someone was so handsome, or what they did with so-and-so. In other words, she never thought about love, whether it was men or women.

From the beginning, when you objectively judge it, it seems right to say that Liliane is indifferent to others. It’s not that she doesn’t have feelings or doesn’t know, but it’s like she knows but doesn’t know what to do. At least, it’s certain that she doesn’t care about anyone other than her family.

Since he is a child so intelligent that it seems as if he is a child, he naturally realizes without anyone telling him that he cannot be free from political marriages as a member of the royal family and that he has much more difficulties in love than ordinary nobles. However, he does not have any particular feelings about that.

It’s just something obvious, isn’t it? Or, stepping back and thinking, “So what? My parents will foolishly choose well.” No matter what, I feel embarrassed thinking, “Isn’t it too insensitive when it’s my own business?” I think I’ve become accustomed to the way of thinking after living as Liliane for 5 years, but there are still differences in fundamental values and philosophies on life.

But actually, I also think that this is a bit wrong, judging from my memories of my past life and the common sense that remains, but I also think the content itself is the same, so I am not in a position to criticize others. Rather, am I the bigger problem for thinking like this while knowing that it is strange? Well… I don’t really know.

‘Where can you find a romantic partner who is the same age as you, has a high mental age, is incredibly capable, and is a leading male talent who wouldn’t mind marrying you for political reasons, and doesn’t have any hobbies or debts that could cause discord in the family?’

As I was thinking this, the maids lightly tapped me on the shoulder to say that it was time to go. They said the banquet was already scheduled. In fact, it was for today.

Even though I know it’s nothing serious, I can’t help but feel nervous. In fact, it’s the first time in my life that I’ve met dozens of people I don’t know, and I’m the main character and the target of this meeting. Plus, most of them feel like high-ranking government officials.

Also, my evaluation at this time determines my image in the aristocratic society for a while, and depending on whether I do well or not, it affects the evaluation of the entire royal family, so the burden becomes even greater when I think about it that way.

‘But in the end, it’s just a matter of me doing well.’

What I saw in the mirror was completely different from the simple dress I usually wore. It was incredibly flashy and covered in countless jewels, like a goddess of beauty descending from heaven. Of course, my outfit was more flashy than usual, but I didn’t feel like I was the star of the party.

This can be seen as a custom at this banquet or the introduction of the royal family. First, the royal family member being introduced wears clothes that are not very noticeable and blends in with the banquet casually at first, but after some time passes, they slightly disappear and change into fancy clothes, and after the king has focused his attention, they are formally introduced.

Of course, most people attending the banquet would notice it normally. Since it was a banquet introducing royalty, there were few cases of bringing children for various reasons, so there were only a handful of young children at the banquet, and most of them were nobles who were familiar with each other, so of course, if you saw a child whose family you didn’t know, you would know that he or she was royalty. Even if that wasn’t the case, if there was a child alone at the banquet without parents in this important event, and the surrounding area was somewhat guarded, even a fool would be able to notice.

Of course, even if you know this, it is a social convention to pretend not to know. Everyone enjoys the banquet as usual, pretending that the royal family is not visible, and the royal family also does not speak to others and only slowly observes the atmosphere of the banquet.

After some time has passed where the royal family observes the nobles and the nobles observe the royal family, and then there is an introduction by the king, they are able to interact, but there are various patterns even after that.

To broadly divide it, there are two cases: ‘I’m going to be interacting with you guys a lot, so it would be better to get to know you now’ and ‘I just need to know that you’re royalty.’ By the way, I’m the latter, so I’m very fortunate that I don’t have to have the worst experience of having to talk formally to people I don’t know.

Thinking about that, I want to ask Yugram, “What on earth was all that noble conversation and etiquette education that I’ve been learning for five years?” But if I say that, it’s only natural that he’ll counter with the common sense that if you don’t interact with him often and your manners and actions are a mess, you’ll be looked down upon and your evaluation will go down. I understand that, but I just want to complain…

Speaking of which, this conversation about the nobility is too inefficient and full of empty boasts. I fully understand that nobles should show off to some extent, not look down on others, and look smart, but there should be a limit, right?

For example, I’m a little hot right now. But I can understand that saying, “Hey, it’s hot, so open the door,” seems a little cheap. So I think it’s okay to say something elegant like, “The weather is nice, so how about feeling some fresh air?”

But the upper-class nobles would go a step further and say things like, “I understand how Yonihwi feels,” or “I think there’s someone who wants to know how Kanimis ends.” Both of these are theologically related, but to put it simply, the god Yonihwi was punished by being burned for 25 days after stirring things up here and there, while Kanimis went around saying, “Even the gods aren’t that great,” until the angry gods burned him to death. According to scholars’ research and Yugram’s interpretation so far, the former is an anecdote that came from seeing something volatile from the earth catch fire and not go out for a long time, while the latter judged that a natural phenomenon caused by static electricity or something like that was a divine punishment… No, that’s not the important part.

In the end, it means, “It’s so hot, I’m going crazy.” However, no matter how much I think about it, it’s a little hard to accept if you think about it as being more elegant. Even if it’s a roundabout way of saying it, isn’t it just blatantly complaining about the heat? When I told Yugram, he also found it hard to accept and thought it was inefficient, but it’s also true that there’s a way to ban it, and it’s not necessary to that extent, so I have no choice but to go with the flow. And if I have to say, it’s more like the intention to check the other person’s sophistication than the intention to say it in a roundabout way.

Of course, Yugram’s expression showed that he was very dissatisfied. Yugram himself would like to stop this behavior right away, but realistically, it would be difficult.

After thinking about all sorts of useless things, I arrived at the banquet hall. With a sigh, I tried to shake off the burden on my shoulders.

“Cheer up.”

Today, the escort knight Amais whispered in my ear and smiled as I left. I have become quite close with the three escort knights as I have seen them many times over the years, so I sometimes have private conversations with them. Since all three are high-ranking nobles, I can be considered the closest to royalty, so that probably also has an effect.

I took another deep breath and entered the banquet hall.

From today, the real Liliane’s life begins.