episode_0154

Charruk-

Chorrr-

He felt the chains inside him gradually becoming heavier and heavier, singing a rattling tune.

Do Yu-jin, who had been quietly feeling the chains tightening around her heart, opened her eyes that had been closed quietly as soon as she felt the sensation pass a certain threshold.

“… … ”

He saw Yumi, who had been curled up in his arms a moment ago, staring up at him from a distance close enough that he could smell her breath.

Unlike a moment ago when both eyes were painted in a gorgeous golden color, one eye was painted in an elegant silver-white color.

On the outside, it seemed like there was no significant change other than the color of one of the eyes changing, but Do Yu-jin could feel it.

‘Fortunately, it seems to have been successful.’

This means that the vessel inside Yumi has changed to be able to contain both types of energy.

Do Yu-jin sighed in relief at the success of her gamble, then spoke with a slightly blushing face.

“But um… … I feel a little embarrassed saying this after just saying that I’ll do anything you ask me to do… … ”

A voice that hinted at the shame of failing to be a good example as a parent.

“I have to deal with him now, so… … Dad, can you help me?”

Yumi saw and heard him.

Kang-!

With a bright smile on her face, she wagged her tail and licked Do Yu-jin’s cheek.

A silent signal of positive intent.

Doyujin smiled faintly at him and then slowly began to absorb Tamamo’s energy again.

Woohoo-

Yumi concentrated all her energy on receiving the energy that Do Yu-jin was giving her.

Unlike a little while ago when he seemed to be suffering from indigestion, he seemed to be accepting Tamamo’s energy with ease.

Do Yu-jin was a little nervous at first when she saw Yu-mi’s white fur gradually turning black, but soon sighed in relief when she confirmed that there was no particular problem.

‘So now I just have to eat the banquet in front of me?’

With that thought in mind, I tried to loosen up my tension, but I knew I couldn’t let my guard down.

The original problem was that once you solve one problem, another one will come along.

Jigeun-!

‘… … What is this?’

The feeling that the sea, as black as ink and sticky as fish glue, was about to engulf you and swallow you up.

Do Yu-jin was momentarily taken aback by the unexpected shock, but soon calmed down and realized what was attacking her.

‘Is this… Tamamo’s grudge?’

under-

‘Why did this suddenly pop up?’

Doyujin, who noticed the situation, first suspected the possibility that Tamamo had used the Maan to launch a mental attack.

But it wasn’t.

“Kuuuung… … ”

Tamamo was still drunk on the afterglow of pleasure and couldn’t come to her senses.

‘Then what the heck?’

Do Yu-jin groaned inwardly as she could not find the cause, but in fact, the reason was simple.

Because Yumi’s soul was stimulated in the process of absorbing Tamamo’s source, her soul was also stimulated.

In fact, the resentment that originally blossomed in this way was meant to be directed at Yumi, not Do Yujin.

Do Yu-jin is just a supporter, and she is the one who is more deeply connected to Tamamo.

However, the one who is closer to Tamamo’s real body is Doyujin.

And that fact created a variable.

If the soul resides in the spirit body, the spirit resides in the physical body.

Thanks to this, Baek-yi’s awakened resentment naturally flowed towards Doyujin, who was absorbing energy from the closest place to Tamamo’s body.

Well, Do Yu-jin couldn’t deduce it that far with her mind right now, but it didn’t really matter anyway.

Because now is the time to look at the reality right in front of you rather than the theories in your head.

‘Ugh!’

Do Yu-jin endured the unpleasant sensation of Tamamo’s resentment poking and gnashing at her mind, gritting her teeth.

The feeling that something black, sticky, and unpleasant, like tar, is constantly entangling itself and trying to defile one’s self.

The pain and horror constantly stimulated Doyujin’s instincts, urging him to cut off the connection with Tamamo right away.

Actually, that wasn’t wrong.

If I did that, I could have prevented Tamamo’s resentment from digging into my head.

But Do Yu-jin didn’t do that even though she knew him.

‘Parenting… is really hard.’

The moment he broke this connection, it was obvious who would be the next victim of this suffering.

Haaa-

Do Yu-jin let out a long sigh, glanced at Yu-mi, and then caught her breath.

So that from now on, he can receive all the torrents that will come upon him without letting a single drop slip away.

◎ ◎ ◎

When Do Yu-jin was young, she used to think like that while reading books.

I think it would be convenient if I could just hold the book and have the contents all enter my head at once.

If I had the chance to go back to my past self, I would tell you.

It’s not comfortable at all, so I told you to study like that.

“Wooow… … ”

My head feels like it’s going to burst, and my mind goes blank.

A sickening feeling of nausea wells up from deep within my stomach.

The disgusting sensation of a sticky black mass squirming through my blood vessels like an earthworm, burrowing into my brain, made me feel like I wanted to throw up everything inside me at any moment.

‘This… … If this place wasn’t a spiritual world, I would have vomited dozens of times already.’

The pain was secondary, but the discomfort was just too much.

“Hoo… … ”

Even as she let out such a weak sound, Do Yu-jin did not stop absorbing Tamamo’s energy or inhaling her underlying resentment.

How long could it have lasted as a breakwater in that condition?

At some point.

Bam-!

I heard a sound that I shouldn’t be able to hear, as if a fatal crack had formed in my head.

Clang!

Oddly enough, two books with different content opened in Do Yu-jin’s head.

‘what?’

Without even a moment to be surprised at seeing him.

Flapping, flapping, flapping-!

The two books began to tell their stories simultaneously, turning the pages noisily.

【I was born into an ordinary family in South Korea. It was a family that was a little short of being called middle class, but I was able to be happy because I grew up with good parents who loved me more than anyone else.】

【Tamamo was raised in a village with beautiful nature. Although she did not know her birth parents, she was able to grow up with affection thanks to the kind village people.】

【Just as you two loved me, I truly loved you two.】

【Young Tamamo truly loved her village, which gave her love.】

Jigeun-!!!

“Ugh!!!”

The biggest headache I’ve ever had.

Do Yu-jin couldn’t hold it in anymore and groaned.

“This is driving me crazy… … ”

Actually, the headache wasn’t the problem.

The real problem was that the memories of Tamamo’s resentment, along with the extreme pain, were digging into Doyujin’s mind.

Because different things were mixed together and the information in my head was jumbled and confused, I couldn’t organize my thoughts into one.

In the midst of that confusion, Do Yu-jin felt an alarm bell ringing loudly in her head.

‘Isn’t this a joke? This could really drive me crazy?’

What constitutes the human ego?

There may be many answers, but Do Yu-jin thought that the emotions felt by an individual through memories and experiences define that person.

In that sense, Do Yu-jin was feeling a chilling fear throughout her entire body that could not be explained simply by vomiting.

Because in that brief moment just now, Do Yu-jin felt as if something fundamental inside her was being distorted.

To be honest, it was so horrible that I never want to experience it again, but I couldn’t let it go either.

Because right now, Do Yu-jin’s mind was clearly drawing a picture of what would happen if she didn’t handle this.

Sigh-

‘Even if my hunch comes true like this, I’m not happy at all.’

When he first met Yumi, Do Yujin was worried that she might betray him.

And now.

Glance-

The worries he had at that time were slowly taking shape and revealing themselves in front of Do Yu-jin.

As he is now experiencing, Tamamo’s resentment shakes the subject’s ego by pouring out memories that are steeped in deep emotions.

So here’s the problem.

What if the subject was a girl who had spent most of her life in a seal and was just emerging from it, with no real ego?

‘If I’m lucky, I’ll probably end up becoming an idiot, and at worst, I’ll end up becoming another Tamamo… … The latter is probably more likely.’

In fact, even though he speaks so eloquently, there was no way for Doyujin to resist Tamamo’s resentment.

Of course, I’m sharpening my consciousness now to block Tamamo’s memories from flowing in, but this is like splashing water and pushing away things floating on the surface.

Because it was a feat that would never be possible for long.

Struggling so desperately, Do Yu-jin came to a conclusion as quickly as possible.

‘Even if it’s me, unless something like a miracle happens, I’ll probably end up going crazy with my ego twisted.’

And this also means that, unlike Yumi, Do Yujin has the potential to survive even after enduring resentment.

Even though the name of that possibility was miracle.

Phew-

‘This is really crazy… … ‘

But what can we do?

No matter how the process went, he had already decided that he would take the charming child with the twitching fox ears as his daughter.

Glance-

To be honest, he didn’t really love Yumi enough to risk his life for her.

It was obvious, since it hadn’t even been a day since we met.

But the moment he accepted Yumi as his daughter, he made a promise to himself.

Even if I can’t love, I will do my best to be able to love.

Because the parental presence that he saw, learned, and received was always there for their children no matter what happened.

‘Well, I guess it’s okay. It’s not like I don’t believe in anything at all.’

Do Yu-jin said as she watched the black waves slowly covering her again.

“I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but I’ve never been mentally ill before. ”

As Do Yu-jin said that, she recalled her past, the time when she had been collecting all kinds of traumas while suffering from paranoia.

While I was making that determination.

Phew-!

Do Yu-jin suddenly let out a meaningless laugh.

I was so absurd that I was thinking of leaning back on the numerous scars that had tormented me with methods like hyperventilation and insomnia just because I had a daughter, even though I had tried so hard to erase them.

On the one hand, it felt like I was realizing something new.

‘Of all the mental illnesses and traumas I have, the most serious one is my family.’

Do Yu-jin took a deep breath while holding back a smile.

From now on, I had to abandon my current self and go back to my past self, who was full of scars and a mess.

To protect my new family and my daughter.