episode_0002

Well, that was quite the commotion.

The man sitting across from me on the sofa.

Though he takes the form of a human…

Two black horns jutting upward, Short hair as red as embers yet oddly serene, Purple eyes brimming with magical energy, And two wings covered in scales the same hue as his piercing gaze.

Given the information that this is another world, I can safely deduce—he’s definitely a dragon.

An unmarried male dragon, sitting before me with a stiff expression, his gaze fixed downward.

The cat robot, Cosmo, poured a reddish tea into the two empty cups placed between us.

Picking up the steaming cup and bringing it to my lips, I cautiously asked: “…Are you alright?”

The dragon man replied with an awkward, strained expression. “I-I’m… f-fine.”

Hmm…

From that single sentence, I’ve already figured it out.

Why someone with such a handsome face is still unmarried.

Judging by his speech patterns, tone, and pacing… his speaking ability is severely lacking.

It’s practically fatal.

Then again, if even a dragon can’t get married, how desperate must he be to come to me?

Though I am curious how he found this place. I should ask. “By any chance, how did you hear about us?”

“Uh… what was it… Ah! The… the sign out front? The promotional sign! I saw it and came in!”

Promotional sign? What on earth did it say…?

Despite having a client right in front of me, I rudely stepped outside to check the advertisement board.

“You, too, can get married! Instant meetings, 100% guaranteed! Modernized matching system—10,000 members registered! Open to all genders—no running away! Start your happy married life now! —Espoza Marriage Agency—”

…….

?

Don’t tell me the Goddess of Fate laid out this ridiculous ad copy as part of her grand plan?

And 10,000 members?

From what I can tell, Eldoria doesn’t seem to have computers.

How are they collecting and managing this data?

Ah. Right. The AI assistant, Cosmo, exists.

The method of gathering 10,000 members’ information remains a mystery, but I’ll let it slide for now.

But seriously… he came in because of this ad?

This won’t be easy.

With a slight headache, I trudged back up the creaky stairs to the office.

The unmarried dragon man and Cosmo were waiting for me.

Plopping onto the sofa, I instinctively crossed my legs—right over left—with a casual thump.

For a split second, the dragon client’s gaze flickered downward before snapping back up.

Whatever. I outright asked Cosmo: “So, what am I supposed to do now?”

The AI cat answered in a hushed voice, as if gauging the mood. “Ask if he’s registered—”

This feels more like legal counseling than matchmaking.

I put on a warm, kindergarten-teacher smile. “Are you registered?”

“…Yes?”

Sigh… This guy’s hopeless.

I expected as much.

Wait. If his communication skills are this bad, there’s no way any match would work out.

They wouldn’t even be able to hold a conversation.

To maximize the effect, I should pair him with an equally timid woman.

If mismatches keep piling up, the agency will naturally go under.

An FFF-class blind date.

Cosmo, who had watched me mentally calculate all this in seconds, gave me a suspicious look.

For now, I turned back to the dragon bachelor. “Have you ever registered as a member here?”

“Uh… no!”

Finally.

Cosmo handed me a sheet of paper and told me to pass it to him.

Ah, a personal information form.

Grinning at the thought of setting up an FFF-class match, I handed the form to the dragon bachelor.

Now, let’s take a look at this dragon’s profile.

For some reason, I’m weirdly excited.

Name: Arzendor Race: Dragon Gender: Male Age: 370 Social Status: Middle Class Personal Assets: 3 million Eldoris (≈3 billion KRW) Parental Assets: 9 million Eldoris (≈9 billion KRW) Occupation: Ph.D. Candidate in Draconic Linguistics Income: 2,400 Eldoris/month after taxes (≈2.4 million KRW) Education: Bachelor’s/Master’s in Draconic Linguistics, Royal Dracadrun Academy Family Background: Good Appearance: Decent Height: 182 cm (polymorphed) / 546 cm (true form) Social Circle: Over 10 friends Health: Not bad Religion: Christianity Criminal Record: None

…….

Where… do I even begin with this?

This is all just his own subjective assessment, right? His family is “good,” his looks are “decent”…

No. Clear your mind.

I feel a little bad for him, but my goal is to make sure marriages don’t happen.

Also, Christianity? Seriously?

…….

At least I learned something. So there are churches in Eldoria.

As I pondered over the form, the 370-year-old dragon, Arzendor, hesitantly spoke up.

“Uh… R-Rosenheit? Ma’am. What… what should I say? Ah. Uh. You… look really young…?”

…Do I?

Now that I think about it, a human woman in her early twenties running a marriage agency alone is a bit unusual.

It suddenly hit me that I don’t even know my own age in this world, so I asked Cosmo. “How old am I?”

“Twenty-two!”

I see. If I’m 22, that makes me seven years younger…

While I was thinking, the cat robot added in a voice too quiet for Arzendor to hear: “Oh, and Master Rosenheit will never age. I assume you already know the reason.”

…?

Sigh…

So I’m stuck in this 22-year-old human body forever in another world.

A blessing? A curse? More like the latter.

For now, let’s wrap up this consultation with the dragon bachelor.

I know what to ask next. “Member Arzendor. What kind of partner are you looking for?”

The 370-year-old dragon man answered haltingly. “Um… I’d like… someone pretty… kind… nice… rich… same religion… Ah! And… someone I can have fun conversations with! Oh, right—are there any elves…? My parents said not to marry a dragon… to marry an elf instead.”

Wow. His standards are high.

Also, he’s 370 and still obeys his parents’ every word.

What a filial dragon.

Well then, let’s find him the perfect match.

When I asked Cosmo to show me the profiles of registered elf women, A pale blue light shot out from the center of the robot cat’s forehead like a beam projector, And a rectangular holographic screen appeared before me.

Oh boy.

I scrolled through, figuring out which candidate would be the worst fit.

Arzendor, sitting across from me, glanced at the screen but quickly gave up.

Like a status window, the text must be visible only to me.

Which means I can match him with whoever I want.

As I scrolled further, I found a high elf woman around Arzendor’s social and financial level, same religion, And—most importantly—painfully shy.

Selienne. 320 years old.

An elementary school teacher in Silvarion, the land of elves.

She’s open to any race but wants a lively, outgoing partner who can lead her.

Perfect. You’re the one.

When I told Cosmo I’d chosen Selienne, The AI cat gave me a dubious look and asked: “…Are you serious?”

I stubbornly replied. “Yeah. That’s an order.”

Cosmo then switched the hologram to full-display mode for Arzendor.

The dragon man’s face flushed slightly as he stared at Selienne’s portrait.

After scrutinizing it intensely, he suddenly shook his head and said: “Uh… will I… be able to… talk to her?”

Feeling a little evil, I hyped him up with a confident gesture. “Of course! Member Arzendor, believe in yourself! Men charge forward!”

“If you say so, ma’am… then… I’ll do it…!”

Heh. That takes care of the dragon.

Now, how to contact the elf…

Just as I was about to, Cosmo, sounding shocked, spoke up. “The moment I sent the blind date proposal… she accepted immediately…? There’s a built-in magic system in my head for remote correspondence, so it’s possible, but… I never expected it to be this fast. Member Selienne says she’s free tonight for dinner.”

“Done!!!”

“Then… the meeting is set for three hours from now at Eldoria’s Famous Stew House!”

???

This is actually happening?

As I stood there dumbfounded, Arzendor folded his wings and bowed deeply at a perfect 90-degree angle. “Rosenheit… ma’am. Thank you… so much… for this opportunity!”

I numbly replied. “Uh… sure. You don’t have much time, so go change into something formal and…”

Before I could finish, Arzendor bolted out the door.

…….

Once the dragon bachelor was gone, Cosmo turned to me with a worried voice. “What were you thinking… setting this up? The members are going to be humiliated…”

I shrugged shamelessly. “Hey, it’s not like I’m not doing my job. I’m working hard to arrange blind dates. First-time mistakes happen, right?”

“…I thought Master Rosenheit was a good person. After all, in your past life, you fed the stray cat that became the basis for my memories… I must’ve been mistaken.”

“Sorry to disappoint, Cosmo, but that’s life. The world isn’t black and white. Everyone acts in their own self-interest.”

“…At least you’ll go to the meeting place and oversee things, right?” “Of course. Never turn down free food from a client.” “;;”

Three hours later.

Eldoria’s Famous Stew House.

Despite the homey name, the place oozed high-class restaurant vibes.

Arzendor, Cosmo, and I arrived early and waited.

Right on time, the elf Selienne appeared.

Pink pixie-cut hair and gem-like blue eyes, A nature-friendly mint-green dress. Her light, fluttering steps matched her ethereal aura.

The dragon Arzendor shot to his feet.

I stood up as well and made the introductions. “This is Member Arzendor, and this is Member Selienne. I’ll be sitting with you, so feel free to ask anything. Enjoy your time!”

…….

The beef and vegetable stew steamed invitingly.

Dinner was served—now to watch their conversation unfold.

The 50-years-younger elf, Selienne, broke the ice first. “The weather was lovely today, wasn’t it?”

The dragon man replied stiffly. “Ah… yes! It’s still chilly for spring, though!”

Hmm…

Dead silence.

Cosmo grimaced imperceptibly.

Yes! This is exactly what I wanted!

This time, Arzendor tried to keep the conversation going. “The food is… really delicious…” “Yes…”

Another awkward pause.

I… I did it! Both of them have critical communication flaws—no wonder they’re still single.

Realistically, if they couldn’t fix these issues during dating, they won’t magically improve overnight.

As time passed…

Arzendor suddenly dropped a bombshell. “Uh… Selienne. What’s the hardest grammatical element in Draconic?” “Hmm?” “The answer is… usage!”

…….

???

Was that… a joke?

Cosmo and I failed to hide our horrified expressions.

But the elf woman, Selienne…

Was laughing!

Tears welled in her eyes as she burst into uncontrollable giggles. “Pff—HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god, Arzendor. How do you even know jokes like that?”

Arzendor, initially unsure, suddenly gained confidence. He launched into endless draconic linguistics trivia and boomer humor.

This… wasn’t part of the plan…

…….

The two happily chatted until the restaurant closed.

When it was finally time to leave, The dragon and the elf, as if they’d rehearsed it, held hands and declared: “We’re getting married!”

…

Excuse me????

Just like that?

You met today—no, just hours ago—and now…?

Every ounce of my experience and common sense is being defied.

…Their resolve seems unshakable.

Cosmo, now clinging to my calf, looked up at me with a smug grin.

Arzendor, arm-in-arm with Selienne, beamed like he’d won the lottery.

Only I was left drowning in a sea of question marks.

Selienne then hesitantly added: “Um… Ma’am. If it’s not too much trouble… Could you officiate our wedding tomorrow…? We’ll pay you handsomely!”

…….

You want ME—the saboteur—to officiate YOUR wedding…?