episode_0029

Time passed and it became late at night.

Rudella lay down on a flat surface, covered with the grass that she had found.

I should have done it while I could still get some sleep, because I don’t know what might happen in the future.

“… … .”

John, dressed in a dry uniform, was standing across from Rudella with his eyes closed.

I couldn’t let my guard down, because I didn’t know when the Crown Prince’s shadows would discover this place.

Inside the quiet cave.

Knock knock.

I can hear the sound of a bonfire burning.

Knock knock knock.

Outside, the sound of thick raindrops hitting the ground could be heard.

There’s an awkward atmosphere and time seems to pass more slowly. Is this just my mood?

Feeling suffocated, John got up from his seat. He went to get some fresh air at the cave entrance.

“… Where are you going?”

Then, Rudel, who had been lying with her back turned, sat up and called out to Johan. Her sky-blue eyes sparkled in the light.

“I tried to get some fresh air at the entrance.”

“… I see.”

“Did I wake you up?”

“That’s not it.”

Rudel shook her head. Her face was tired, but she still had an eerie beauty.

“I just can’t sleep.”

“I guess it’s because the bed is uncomfortable.”

“That too… …I guess so.”

It seemed like she had something to say, but Rudel just twiddled her fingers and didn’t open her mouth.

“… … .”

John looked at her for a moment and then started walking again. As he approached the cave entrance, the sound of the heavy raindrops became louder.

Shh …

The cold wind tickles my skin. Along with sleep, a subtle awkwardness also runs away.

“Is it okay if you don’t fall asleep?”

Pasrak. He approached Rudelagan, who had risen completely from the pile of grass.

She sat across from John, hugging her knees and tilting her head slightly.

“I have to protect Lady Vismark. If I fall asleep, there will be no one to watch over me and I could be in danger. ”

“It looks okay to me… … .”

“That’s the point. That’s what those who specialize in assassination and tracking are after.”

Johann met Rudella’s gaze. Her expression was hazy, as if she would fall asleep at any moment.

“They will still be chasing us right now. It’s hard to find any traces because of the rain, but we still must not let our guard down. If we let our guard down, we’ll be caught. ”

Although this is only a guess, it is the Crown Prince’s shadow organization made up of first-class assassins.

Suspicion and caution were essential.

“… I see.”

“That’s right.”

Swaaaah.

It rained.

White noise tickles my ears.

A strange atmosphere seemed to be stroking my shoulder.

“Do you know who is behind this?”

Suddenly, Rudella brought up a sensitive topic. It was also a topic that Johan had been avoiding on purpose. But since it came out of her mouth first, he had to talk about it.

“I know.”

“Who do you think it is?”

In response to Rudel’s question, which seemed to be floating, John looked outside the cave and said.

“I think Lady Bismark would know better.”

John also noticed this. She was always thinking of political gain and supporting the crown prince in both material and spiritual ways, so there was no way she wouldn’t know.

The identity of the culprit who instigated this incident.

“I don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about Lady Bismark.”

John turned his head and looked at Rudella. He saw her face, which had hidden its expression and darkened at the same time.

“Are you pretending not to know, or are you really not aware?”

“… … .”

“No. I’ll guess. Are you just going to close your eyes and pretend not to know?”

At the serious look in Johan’s eyes, Rudella couldn’t hold back her laughter and smiled wryly. It was a hollow smile.

“You’re quick-witted.”

“It’s strange not to know.”

Rudelaga nodded slowly.

“That’s right. I know the culprit. It’s probably the same person you’re thinking of. A person whose name I can’t even mention because I’m afraid of the heavens.”

Of course, she also knew that it was the Crown Prince who had instigated it.

“Is Lady Bismark okay?”

“What does it mean?”

“Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”

If it’s Rudelavis Mark, he would know about the crimes the Crown Prince has committed. If he could just secure the evidence, he could send him to Hell at any time.

Of course, it won’t be easy since several families are involved.

“I’m talking.”

Rudel opened her mouth as she looked outside the cave. Whoa. The rain kept pouring down without stopping.

“Born for the House of Bismarck, and lived for the House of Bismarck. The House of Bismarck assists His Highness the Crown Prince and aims for the prosperity of the empire.”

Bismark’s wife.

This is the family known as the head of the crown prince’s power.

“I only win. Even if there is something I don’t like, I can’t help but forget it in my heart. Because there is nothing for the person called Rudelavismark.”

John didn’t say anything, but just quietly listened to her. It hadn’t been long since they had met, but this was the first time Rudella had told him her story directly.

“It was an engagement that was decided from the time I learned how to think as a child. From then on, my life was decided. I just do my best. ”

In Rudel’s life, everything existed, but she herself did not exist.

“If His Highness the Crown Prince tries to kill me, I have no choice but to die. I am alive now thanks to your grace, but I will eventually come to that conclusion.”

“What is that… … .”

John’s mouth opened slightly. This guy is pretty messed up. It’s like the gears in a clockwork are out of sync.

“My feelings are not important. I only follow the orders of the Bismarck family and help His Highness not to go down the wrong path. That’s why I was born, and that’s why I live.”

After hearing her words, John understood why Rudella in the piece had been so indifferent to such a murder.

We just swallow the unfair things inside. Unspoken feelings are buried deep in our hearts, piling up and piling up until they become heavy boulders.

Unexpressed emotions fester and cast a shadow over a corner of the heart, and in the end, only a lump of resentment remains.

If this continues, she will become a hell. It will deepen to the point where it becomes a hell for anyone who interferes with her role.

John unconsciously clenched his fist.

An indescribable emotion took over my whole body. Was it anger, sadness, or pity?

“Emotions that cannot be expressed with words are naturally expressed through actions. Just like you are doing now.”

Only after hearing Rudella’s words did John realize what state he was in. He clenched his teeth and clenched his fists.

It might not have been just her actions because she was frustrated. It might have been an unknown emotion, a mixture of sympathy, anger, and sadness.

“I’m okay. It’s been like this from the beginning. I want something, but I already know I can’t get it.”

Rudel smiled faintly. You could tell by the faint smile. She would have given up a long time ago.

“… Can I say something off-topic?”

“What is it?”

“If it were me, I wouldn’t have lived like that.”

When she heard those words, Rudel took a deep breath. It seemed as if John’s gaze had penetrated deep into her.

“Rudelavismark. You have the ability to stand on your own. You graduated with honors in social studies and have handled various practical tasks. You could always get out of the shadow of the Bismark family.”

Those words seemed to quietly knock on her heart, which had been frozen all along.

“Of course I know this isn’t easy. It’s a family affair and there are so many things involved, it’s hard to even try. But, but if it’s to the point of disappearing, I would do anything. ”

Living a life without self-existence like Rudella is hell. If you do that, you will also become hell.

“If you keep making compromises, there will soon be no way back. It’s like walking through a poisonous fog. You’ll gradually become addicted to the fog. When you come to your senses, you’ll already be deep in a place you can’t get out of. ”

If you keep eating it, it will rot and turn black and dirty. It will turn black and turn your insides black. It will spread throughout your body and even your blood will turn black.

“If you live a life of compromise and compromise, you will eventually lose your footing. I hope you, Rudelavis Mark, don’t lose yourself.”

Swaaaah.

The rain kept falling non-stop.

The soft moonlight streamed in through the cave entrance, gently illuminating Rudelah’s hair.

Her silver hair flowed in waves, mingling with the moonlight.

A night when the rain wouldn’t stop. But strangely enough, the storm in my heart seemed to subside little by little.

“… That was a bit off-topic. Sorry. But I really wanted to do it. No, I had to do it for you. ”

John apologized, but he spoke without hesitation. His words were not simply consolation. They were words telling him to choose his own life.

“That was really off-topic. This is the second time since Your Highness the Crown Prince that you’ve talked about my life.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, that’s all. You saved my life.”

Rudel, unable to hold back her laughter, turned her gaze outside the cave.

Phew.

It rained.

“I see. Is that what you had to say for me?”

A strange thrill rose in a corner of Rudel’s heart. The feeling was unfamiliar, but it was like the small warmth enjoyed by someone who was hungry for emotions.

“How many people have said that to me? Just for my own good. I hear things from you that I have never heard from my parents.”

Rudel’s fingertips unconsciously brushed her wrist. Her heart felt strangely ticklish.

It felt as if something that had been frozen for a long time was beginning to unravel.

In the 20 years I’ve lived, how many people have told me to live for myself?

There wasn’t any.

Even his parents told him to fulfill his official duties as a member of the Bismarck family, and the Emperor told him to live for the Crown Prince.

Rudel had no life. By giving in, compromising, and giving in, she lost her footing.

What John said was clearly off-topic, but Rudella couldn’t refute it. It was all true.

If you want to get out of the shadows, you can do it.

If you wanted to break off the engagement with the crown prince, you could do so.

But the reason why it wasn’t done was clear.

Because your own role disappears.

She was worried that she might disappear.

Rudel stared at Yohan’s face quietly. Even in the coldness, there was a strange sense of sincerity. An unknown warmth passed through his deep blue eyes.

“… … .”

She paused as she looked deeper at John. She found herself wanting to look into his eyes for a little longer.

I lowered my eyes in confusion. It felt like a small spark was blooming in my chest. An unfamiliar but sweet confusion swirled around in my chest.

Rudella clasped her hands together on her knees and squeezed them tightly. The cold emotions she had been holding back seemed to melt away.

Swaaaah.

It rained.

Rudel sat quietly across from John, watching the falling raindrops. His words repeated in her mind, creating a small echo.

The sound gradually deepened, gently loosening her hardened heart.

‘I wish I had someone like this by my side.’

A brief thought came to my mind and slowly seeped into my mind.

And that thought soon became a small hope that settled in a corner of my heart.

Swaaaah.

The rain kept falling non-stop.

But why is that?

The sound of the rain no longer felt cold to her.