episode_0005
by fnovelpiaMore time has passed than I thought.
There is no need to wait any longer.
Enter the dormitory building.
It is fortunate that the boys’ and girls’ dormitories are not separated into separate buildings.
I walk to Irusia’s room, in front of the door.
The floor is covered with carpet so there is no sound of footsteps.
Slightly pale lighting. Doors lined up in a row.
There’s no one in the dormitory hallway.
In the midst of the silence, small, low-pitched noises of daily life could be heard.
Arrived.
after….
I took a long breath.
Take a deep breath.
Knock, knock.
Knock as if breaking the silence.
From now on, I will kill my childhood friend. With my own hands.
Sid’s hand was shaking slightly as he knocked on the door.
“…It’s me.”
“Huh, huh?! Yeah, yeah! Open it now!”
After a while, the door opens with a slight creaking sound.
Black hair, white skin, and bright red eyes.
My childhood friend smiles kindly.
“Hehehe. Come in before someone sees.”
Irusia spoke in a soft voice and walked briskly into the room.
Follow him and take a step into the room.
Turn your hand behind your back and gently close the door.
Irusia’s defenseless back is visible.
now?
The back of a girl walking briskly with light steps, as if she were slightly excited.
Should I do it now?
Bing-geul-reul, the slender girl turned gently towards Seed.
“Oh, but… Huh?! Oh my, blood, blood! What happened?”
The girl’s single smile turns into surprise. She opens her eyes wide and gently covers her mouth with her slender hand.
The amount of Lett’s blood on Seed’s body is quite surprising.
“Huh? Ah… That, this is… .”
“They’re like that?! Look at the blood, what should I do… .”
“No, what, um.”
“It hurt a lot, no, it hurts a lot? Even now? If the blood is like this, uh, medicine, where’s the medicine?”
The girl paces around the room in a fluster.
Open the closet drawer and rummage through it.
Another defenseless back view.
now.
Seed approaches the girl quietly, behind her.
I am used to walking with my footsteps muffled.
Stand behind.
Picture the sword in your mind. Imagine holding the sword in your hand.
however.
‘You idiot aaaa …
Black does not appear.
Instead, a longing voice echoes in my heart.
The person who taught me the sword and gave me hope to live.
I felt like I heard the teacher’s voice, like a shout.
“… !”
He’s always been a cold person. I’ve never heard him get so excited and raise his voice like this.
So, even though it was a voice I felt like I was hearing for the first time, for some reason, I could tell it was my teacher’s voice.
“Oh! Surprise! Why? Just sit on that sofa over there! If you move with that body… .”
“That, ah~ oh, it’s okay. Look, you’re not hurt.”
Sid is flustered and at a loss.
He regains his composure and stretches out his arms, legs, and various parts of his body.
Irusia, who was looking intently at it with her face close enough to be burdensome.
It’s breathtaking.
“That’s right, I see… . That’s right. Right.”
Whenever Letna and that guy’s gang would harass Seed, they would always finish it off cleanly so there would be no aftereffects.
Today, unlike usual, there was a lot of blood on it, so I was a bit taken aback, but I guess that’s the same.
Irusia realized something she had momentarily forgotten.
There’s still nothing I can do.
Even just putting a band-aid on it.
So, at least give me some small consolation.
He grabbed Seed’s hand.
“It’s okay. It’s okay… It’s okay. Yeah. Really. It’s okay now. Everything’s okay! Really!”
“Ugh… .”
What’s okay?
“Well, even so, someday, you too, yeah, I’ll be able to hit you once… !”
“Uh, uh… Yeah.”
“I wish I could scold you all, hehe… .”
Is it really true that I can only say such obvious and cowardly things?
I let go of the hand I was holding.
“… Sorry.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry? What?”
Yeah. What, what are you sorry about?
Are you saying that you are comforting me and just spouting out empty, meaningless words?
The truth is that you are so helpless and cowardly that you can’t do anything?
Or is it that he still stands in front of Seed, smiling like this?
Without even knowing what I wanted to apologize for.
Am I qualified to say sorry?
“Yeah… . Just. Just everything.”
Irusia shakes her head.
I feel like crying.
don’t cry.
Don’t cry here, at least. You don’t deserve it. What did you do well enough to be crying about?
I tell myself over and over again.
The look on Seed’s face was the darkest I’d ever seen.
Rather than just feeling bad or depressed.
Long time, going through a lot, getting hurt a lot.
I knew the face of a person who had been robbed of everything he could call hope.
From a woman who was caught stealing money and was dragged away screaming that she needed money for surgery to save her child’s life.
From a homeless person who had no intention of finding work, just surviving day after day by searching through restaurant trash cans, until one day he disappeared from sight.
The face I saw in the nine-year-old boy who killed his abusive father with his own hands, and who, with trembling hands, did not put down the knife until the very end.
And more, and more, and more.
I wonder what happened to Seed during that time.
Why is your expression so empty?
Yeah, it’s clear something happened to Sid.
But I don’t know what happened.
Even if you know, there’s nothing you can do about it.
mom.
Irusia also had no parents.
However, Seed is always behind in everything and doesn’t know how to do anything properly.
They were speculating among themselves about how he got into the academy.
I also do some background research to get some clues for my guess.
As a result, various rumors spread and became distorted.
Somehow, he was branded as someone who had come in out of pity despite being poor and without parents.
However, since Irusia’s abilities were not that far behind, no one was particularly curious about her family circumstances or other things.
So I just blended in naturally and stood in a safe place and watched.
In front of others, I didn’t even pretend to know.
What my mother said before she died was completely, completely different.
Eat three meals a day, every day.
Don’t be a picky eater.
And study hard too.
But don’t stay up too late and do that.
Don’t be jealous even if there is a kid who studies better than you.
Always wear clothes that are neatly washed.
Wash well and comb your hair well. At least you won’t be ignored for being dirty.
Say hello to your teacher often.
Don’t fight with your friends.
also….
Such trivial details.
If there is someone around you who is having a hard time, be sure to help them.
I wish my daughter would step up and protect the weak.
Be a warm person.
‘mom….’
A word whispered quietly, with your teeth clenched.
“What?”
“Ah, nothing, nothing. Hehe.”
It’s the complete opposite for me.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Now, I don’t even know who I’m apologizing to, and I just keep repeating those words in my head.
Trying to look cheerful.
Pretend to be warm.
Pretending to be childhood friends.
Yeah, it’s all just an imitation.
You call someone like me your friend?
But I still forced a smile. It seemed like that was all that was left now.
Ding! A light bell-like sound rang.
“That’s right! You see, I was actually baking bread. Look at my mind.”
“Oh, uh, really? How is it in the dorm?”
“I tried to get the ingredients quickly. There is a way to do everything.”
He puffs out his chest, crosses his arms, and looks smug.
Oh, I’m really hopeless.
Go to the oven.
A sweet smell tickles my nose.
Even that feels painful.
“Let’s see… . Now turn it once, bake it a little more, and it’s done!”
“… What kind of bread is it?”
Even though that doesn’t matter.
A seed that I couldn’t understand myself, but I was strangely interested in it.
Irusia was slightly happy that Cid was interested in her, and her stiff expression relaxed a little, but she was also extremely distressed.
“Yeah, pound cake. If you have an oven, it’s pretty simple. In a dorm, each room has a separate oven. Isn’t that too extravagant?”
“That’s right. Thinking about where we used to live.”
“Oh, right. The Academy likes this kind of thing.”
There’s no way you’ll get any better if you come here.
I’m speaking selfishly again without thinking.
“That’s right, how did you know that in the magic class this morning?”
“Huh? How should I explain that?”
“Okay, it’s hard to explain yourself, right?”
“Huh?”
“That’s what genius is all about. I’m glad that Seed has finally unleashed his hidden talent~.”
“Who is your older sister?”
Seed thought.
How long should we continue this conversation?
I looked at Irusia’s back as she opened the oven door, wearing thick cooking gloves.
The long curve of her slender back was visible.
Perhaps because it was her own room, Irusia was wearing only a thin T-shirt.
The outline of the shoulder blade was vaguely visible.
My heart was pounding hard.
If I just stick a knife in there, it’ll all be over. What am I doing now?
But strangely enough, I haven’t felt that suffocating feeling again.
I missed the opportunity right in front of my eyes, but strangely, the sword did not come out, so I did not feel impatient.
“Ah, this. Looking at it now, I don’t think I can eat it all by myself… .”
For the first time since returning, the passage of time feels a little sweet.
Seed couldn’t even understand his own feelings.
There’s no way I could be shaken by such small affection, memories, and such.
Even though the bad relationship is worse than that, it’s something that’s been suffered a lot more.
Irusia looks this way.
“Wait a minute, then eat and go?”
Because it’s the only thing I can do.
Irusia smiled as gently and kindly as she could.
0 Comments