episode_0176

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the capital.”

The middle-aged man wearing a bowler hat smiled faintly as he stroked the head of the now old Norma.

“Now that I think about it, it seems like you’re past the age where you can carry someone. Just push yourself one last time. It’s a bit too much for me to run all the way to the capital.”

“Purururung…”

“I’ll buy you some meat on the way back, so cheer up.”

The old man looked quite shabby, with his horse aged and his clothes tattered, but the guards guarding the gate had tense expressions on their faces. It was as if some higher-up had told them about this in advance.

“That person is their father…”

“Shh. Don’t you know that if you get caught, you’ll lose your head? Didn’t you hear me telling you not to show off and just act appropriately?”

“If you keep taking the lead and making trouble, you’ll get your balls kicked by that person before they do?”

“That’s right. Did you forget the last time you two fought and there was a huge fight? I wonder how that father felt…”

The old man, who thought that he might have mistaken her for someone else, quickly shook off his thoughts and continued on his way.

The streets of the capital city didn’t feel awkward at all because even though their appearance had changed, their smell hadn’t changed at all.

Could it be because of the smell of the street he used to walk down with his childhood friends after leaving the training ground? The eyes of the man who had become slightly sentimental had transparent pupils.

“It was really fun.”

One person has now left to a place where we can no longer meet.

One person was upset and wanted to go on a trip in his later years.

One man accepted it and abdicated the throne, then went on a journey together.

And the last one, who had a huge fight with his wife, said that she had forgotten their wedding anniversary again and that this was the tenth time, and then got really angry and kicked her out.

The man grimaced, his side still stinging from where the lightning she had struck passed through.

“No matter what, isn’t it a bit too much to swing a spear and kill someone, Catherine?”

“You’re so annoying, you’re so annoying…”

“Well, it’s funny that I’m saying this to an animal. I should buy a bouquet of flowers on my way. She gets angry easily, but it’s her strong point that she calms down easily.”

The man bought white chrysanthemums at the same time as he bought flowers to give to his wife. The purpose of his visit to the capital was also to offer those flowers.

It was truly annoying that he never forgot someone else’s death anniversary, even though he only forgot his wedding anniversary once every two years, but those around him did not criticize him.

Because that day was the day he died and the day he was born again.

The place I headed to, holding a bouquet of flowers that were not very fancy but still fresh, was a tombstone.

“I’m back.”

Perhaps it was because, no matter how many times he came, he couldn’t help feeling nervous, like a young man on his first date. The man’s voice was trembling slightly.

“Now, my body is not like before and the distance is far, so I don’t think I will be able to come often…”

The man uncorked a bottle of wine he had bought somewhere and drank it down in one gulp. In the novel, this is how people console themselves for losing a loved one, but unlike his wife, he avoided alcohol, so he only felt a bitter unpleasantness.

“Looking at how much you’re tormenting me up until the third time, it looks like I’ll never find peace.”

First, she was a nasty person who found pleasure in manipulating others to do things for her, second, she was extremely reserved in her speech, so no one except the current emperor could understand her, and third, she was young and had an excessive fondness for the opposite sex.

“I thought things would get a little easier once my first and second children grew up. It seems like my life is repeating the same old story of being a pain to my family.”

The man, who had started to tell good stories, wiped his eyes that had become moist due to memories.

Even though we may now lump them all together under the name of memories, they were once called by different names.

The memory of calling out that name in joy during a duel was once a joy.

The memory of calling out each other’s names to avoid being swept away by the crowd while playing together was once a thrill.

The memories of holding hands and calling each other’s names on the day we went out to the battlefield together were once a source of trust.

The memory of seeing you alive and calling your name after sweeping the battlefield was once a relief.

The memory of holding the corpse and desperately calling its name was once a sadness.

The memories of killing those who caused death and calling out their names in vain were once anger and regret.

Now, if we lump all those things together as memories, how can we define that mixture as a single emotion?

It was a feeling of happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, and love.

“… I’ll come back again. I don’t know when the next time will be, but I’ll bring my wife and other friends.”

Now, perhaps because he was carrying too much, he was having difficulty getting up, and a faint groan escaped his lips.

“Goodbye my other half.”

The sad and moist voice that no one had ever heard before was so empty and scattered into the wind.

The man continued to walk through the vast capital city of the vast empire within the vast continent, looking at the things he had protected, even if its members were not aware of it.

Even if they didn’t recognize what I had done, I could feel fulfilled just by the fact that they existed.

“Aren’t there people who actually make necklaces at home? There are a lot of cheap and pretty ones…!”

“Hmm…”

Thanks to that peace, the market was lively, and amidst that liveliness, there was even a girl selling handmade jewelry.

“Hey, that purple flower ornament… Can I have one?”

And the man simply bought it, thinking that it would suit his wife.

While a noblewoman would normally care about the value of her jewelry, his wife would be happy with just one word from her husband, that he bought it because he thought it would suit her.

To be honest, the man said she was a much better woman than he deserved, except that she was violent, impulsive, and aggressive.

“Pay for this. No change needed.”

The man threw a silver coin and hurried on his way.

The girl, who seemed to have the face of a maid he knew and the golden eyes of a wolf, felt familiar even though it was the first time he had met her. She resembled a long-time enemy he had hated but pitied, and also resembled a certain maid he had met.

The man, who had seen through her true identity to some extent, smiled faintly.

“But this is too much…”

“I know your father and mother, so I’m giving you money.”

“Really?!”

“So, tell your father a word.”

The man adjusted his cane and stroked the girl’s head.

“Honestly, I think I can fight alone now.”

“Yes…?”

After throwing out one last joke, knowing that he would hardly ever see her again, the man turned around with a satisfied smile, his steps seeming a lot lighter.

Since there were many people to see while in the capital, it was a congratulatory fact that my pace quickened.

I wanted to see my son and daughter after a long time, I wanted to see my two daughters-in-law who took care of my son-in-law, and I also had to see my son-in-law who couldn’t sleep comfortably for a single night because he had to take care of both his daughter and the country.

I wanted to see my brother and sister-in-law, give my nephew a present, and now I had something to talk about with Rosie, who had calmed down a bit.

It was going to be a busy day, and although he hated the impatience caused by a tight schedule, today he didn’t hate the urgency.

Because it felt like it would actually be more abundant, like a feast filled only with my favorite foods.

And after finishing those schedules, I wanted to lie down on my wife’s lap, read a book, and enjoy cheese and wine.

The thought of that soft and comfortable rest made me smile, like a child looking forward to a cup of hot cocoa after a fun snowball fight.

“Ahem…”

It was a sound that would have made anyone who knew him fall backwards in shock.

He was humming. It was more realistic for a vicious dragon to fall in love or for a terrible ghost to attain Buddhahood.

“I’m happy. It’s good. It’s rewarding.”

People around him looked at him as if he were crazy, but he didn’t care.

She walked down the street singing with a bright smile on her face, without a hint of sadness or gloom, so it was only natural that people would look at her that way.

But he was not a man who cared about the atmosphere in the first place, so he continued to hum.

How could it not be fun when I have a reason to miss tomorrow?

Because the joy of life comes more from waiting and the process than from the results.

But someday the waiting will end and the process will reach its conclusion.

“Raoul,”

It was a young and tender voice.

But that sound alone created a lingering pain in my heart.

Raoul turned his back,

And then I faced the owner of that voice.

“It was hard to wait.”

“You…”

“Hello.”

The girl who owned that voice took a step closer.

Birds with white feathers flew in, and amidst the countless fluttering wings, the smiling girl took another step forward.

“It’s been a while, my other half.”