episode_0172

“My lord… It’s almost time to go.”

“Yeah…”

“Rizel and her wife left first…”

“Even if that weren’t the case, where would they go with me? They’re talking nonsense.”

I took off my outerwear and went outside. Now I could no longer feel the cold that had been biting my skin. Now everything was just trash that could not provide any stimulation. No matter what I saw or felt, I could not feel alive.

Am I dead? Or am I living in a dead state? And is there any meaning to such worries?

“Today is everyone’s anniversary. Why do we have to laugh and chat on such a day? It’s hard to understand.”

“My lord…”

I placed my body on the carriage and leaned my head against the window. As the carriage shook and jolt, images of all the dead people flashed through my mind.

The deaths of all those who had to die for the Demon King’s death were still lingering.

1st Prince Assel, the friend who patted me on the shoulder and gave me the courage to move forward.

Military Penelope, my friend who used her wisdom to help us fight and who affirmed my right to live.

Camilla, the strong woman who swept through the battlefield and the precious person who kicked me to get me up whenever I was about to give up.

Leila, my other half.

I lost all those things.

And the Empire forgot before they could say anything about their deaths. The Empire chose to light firecrackers before burning their bodies.

I could only stand still in the dressing room and stare at the embers. I felt resentful of the flames that were burning everything about me, and I prayed that they would not disappear. Because if even that flame disappeared, everything would disappear.

But the damn god, as always, didn’t grant my wish.

The flame went out, and the only light in my heart was plunged into darkness.

I stood still for ten days and looked at the place where the ashes were.

“…Ah.”

I held the ashes that had been left behind. Even the warmth of the ashes was cooled by something flowing from my eyes. I held the ashes tightly, but they leaked out through the gaps in my hands and disappeared in the wind.

“Oh my god.”

I fell face first into the ground. I fell face first until the blood flowed. I looked up at the sky, covered in blood and ashes.

“I hate you.”

The hateful god even took away their ashes from my face with the rain.

The coldness of the raindrops that fell that day seeped into my body and cooled me down, so now I can’t even feel the cold.

The banquet to commemorate the crowning of the second prince was quite splendid. The memorial service for the deceased was so shabby.

This bright light was so bright that it was hard to compare it to the lights in the dressing room that day, but it was blinding.

So much so that I wanted to close my eyes.

“…”

“From Raoul Bergé, the head of the Bergé family!!!”

“… be noisy.”

I decided to just close my eyes in a corner to keep my place. I didn’t want to see or hear anything anymore. Everything would be an eyesore and everything would be nothing but noise.

“What a surprise for the head of the Berger family to show up here. Hasn’t it been a while since we’ve been at odds with the Second Prince?”

“I heard that you expressed your opinion that it would be better to enthrone the Third Prince instead. Why would you do something that would put you out of favor? Tsk.”

“Well, how could he be in his right mind since he hung out with that damn prince?”

I don’t know.

The reason I have to hear such things. The reason they live. The reason this empire exists.

The reason why ugly things are built on top of shiny things.

I was so stupid that I just couldn’t understand.

I was just trapped in the darkness inside my eyelids, wishing this endless time would pass as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to connect with anything. I quietly maintained silence, wishing that the light piercing through my eyelids would disappear.

Just to live like a doll and die from this poison.

I just want it to stay like this without anything happening.

That was my last wish, and I thought that God would grant this wish.

“Hey, is that guy the head of the Berger family?”

“Yeah. I heard you came back alive alone with the other heroes who died in the war.”

“But, I have a question. Why are people who are so weak that they die in war heroes? They’re just weaklings. If they were heroes, they wouldn’t have died.”

It was the voice of a young girl with no sense of humor. It was something that only a child of about ten years old could say.

But because of that, something inside me was broken. Something I had been holding on to. Something that my inner friends had barely been holding on to, something that had been begging me not to let it go.

It was cut off mercilessly and cruelly.

I’m not angry.

It was just that something that had been suppressed by the disconnection leaked out a little bit.

“Little Miss.”

I took a step towards the girl whose name I didn’t know.

“Yes, yes…?!”

“Have you ever been to a battlefield?”

“If you heard what I just said, I’m really sorry…!”

“I didn’t ask for an apology. I asked for an answer to a question.”

As they approached, the commotion around them grew louder and the little girl’s expression became more and more distorted with fear.

“I was just joking…!”

“… Yes. You’ve become the subject of a cheap joke. You fought for your whole life, but now you’re the subject of a joke like this empire.”

Yeah. It was just a cheap joke.

The effort we put into a place like this.

It was a really vulgar joke, fit for a joke.

“This is the empire I protected.”

I lifted my right foot.

“It wouldn’t be a problem if I damaged it a little.”

And he stomped on Young-ae’s head, bursting it after she made that cheap joke.

I stepped on it again and again to make sure that the annoying sound would never come out again.

“Gyaaahh …

“Sigh…”

Those who saw it screamed, but now it all felt like noise.

“Alice!!!”

“This world’s greatest scoundrel did such a horrible thing to my young daughter because she said something foolish!!!”

“Arrest that monster now! No, kill him!!!”

Those who appeared to be the girl’s parents grabbed me by the collar and screamed at me.

“Sigh…”

The spittle flying in my face felt unclean. The noise they were making was loud and annoying.

“…Screaming like a pig. You don’t have any manners.”

“What…?”

“Just a little… Shut up… My head hurts.”

“This crazy bastard!!!”

I just blew the couple’s heads off with my hands that were carrying the sound.

“I told you not to yell because it’s noisy…!”

I swept back my hair, which was a mess of blood that soaked my hands.

“Now, the military and other things will bother me and give me a headache. The mouths of the noble society and the reputation of the people… My head already hurts…”

I wanted to breathe, but things that made my head hurt just thinking about them were blocking my breathing.

“The Count is crazy!!!!”

“What are the Imperial Guards doing! Why don’t they arrest this crazy guy!”

“Your Majesty, do something!”

Their screams seemed to resonate in my bones.

There was no way.

All I can do is get rid of everything and find silence.

I reached out and killed the servant next to me, then with his bloody hand I killed the lady, then with that bloody hand I blew up the young boy next to him, then with that bloody hand I stabbed and killed an old nobleman who seemed to be the boy’s grandfather…

He kept repeating that senseless act.

“… Raul.”

“Mother.”

“You’ve completely lost your sense of reason.”

“… Ah.”

Now I know the name of the thing that just disconnected.

“Now you’re going to kill me too.”

“……”

“Yes. Wanting to live is just too much, and I don’t have the heart to do it.”

“Mother.”

I took a step towards my mother and pierced her chest with my right hand.

“Thank you for telling me its name.”

“… You little monster.”

I pulled that hand out and turned my head towards Lizel, who was next to me.

“Oh. Oppa…”

“Lizel.”

I stroked Lizel’s cheek with my hand that was stained with my mother’s blood.

“There was a time when I thought about protecting you, there was a time when I treasured my feelings for you, and there was a time when I loved you.”

“I’m really, really sorry…”

“But.”

I raised my index finger and stabbed Lizel in the heart.

“Why can’t I feel anything right now?”

After killing them, it seemed like my killing gestures became a little faster.

“I am the next emperor, Count…! I will forgive the tragedy up until now, so why don’t you step down quickly, Count…!”

“Why is that seat yours?”

The second prince was killed by blowing up his arms and legs one by one and then blowing up his head.

“… Haha. That’s not even funny, Count.”

“…”

“To die after seeing something funny before dying. What a funny life.”

The emperor smashed his head against the throne and killed him horribly. No matter how many times he smashed his head against the throne, he would still laugh until he died, looking like an insect.

“… You finally showed your true colors, you monster.”

“Speak freely. Now all sounds are just noise. It’s all annoying.”

“What would your sister say if she saw you now…”

“Didn’t you say that noise is just annoying?”

He stabbed Rosie in the stomach, who might have survived if she had kept her mouth shut.

“Why did everyone get on my nerves so much when I could die so easily? I really don’t know.”

I wiped the hand that had pierced Rosie’s stomach with a handkerchief.

“Can you tell me the answer, Rosie? I think you’d know, since you’re so smart…”

But Rosie couldn’t give any answer.

Because it was just a corpse.

I kicked the corpse with my foot and moved forward.

Maybe it was my nerves that had become a little sensitive. All the noise and lights of this capital city were starting to bother me.

“… Yes. You are hopeless. This is too much of a death for someone who couldn’t even protect his own little sister. Kill him quickly. ”

“Raul… Please come to your senses…! They wouldn’t want this…!”

“You little monster!”

“Please save me… Please at least my little sister…”

“Mother, come to your senses, Mother!”

“This monster, my daughter! What did this child do wrong!”

All the noise was annoying.

If a candle is too bright and you feel like it’s keeping you up at night, just blow it out.

Following that logic, I turned off everything that was causing the noise.

It wasn’t that difficult. You just had to go up to them and touch them.

After a little effort to turn off all the candles in the capital, I soon arrived at the garden of my house.

Even though I was covered in blood from head to toe, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. My legs just hurt a little because I had walked for a long time.

I decided to sit under an old tree and catch my breath.

“Hoo…”

however.

Breathing wasn’t uncomfortable at all.

Because I felt the fresh, cool air cooling the inside of my lungs.

“Master will come to kill me soon.”

but…

Right now, I just want to enjoy the clear, refreshing air.

Because now I can breathe.