episode_0134

Raoul Bergé.

He was Lizel’s older brother, stronger and wiser than anyone else in the world. He was a bit reserved and a bit dry, but he was still stronger than anyone else.

There was no way a person like that would die soon. There was no way a person like that would die leaving me behind. Lizel thought this and couldn’t believe Kyle’s words.

“Are you lying…?”

“Haa, it’s come out like this… Well, this isn’t a lie. To be honest, it wouldn’t be strange if I died at any time… No. This is a body that should have died originally. Dragon’s poison usually causes instant death when you take it.”

“What the heck is dragon poison? Why is that in my brother’s body…!”

“Do you think it’s so special for a knight to be attacked on the battlefield? Oh, you don’t. Those who couldn’t stand it all died.”

Kyle blurted out the grim details as if he were cracking jokes at a bar.

“You… How can you say such things so casually?”

“… Just in case, I’m asking, is death such a special thing on the battlefield? Do you think there aren’t any comrades who died from aftereffects?”

The story was not only applicable to Kyle, but also to Raoul and his friends.

Soon after losing Leila, they all lost something important in their hearts.

“Then your brother will die…”

“It’s not that I don’t care. We all just realized that making a fuss over something that can’t be changed is a waste of emotion.”

“Why are you all so indifferent!”

Lizel couldn’t really understand them.

There’s no way I wouldn’t know what death is. How can I be so calm in the face of an eternal separation? When I die, it’s clear that it’s the end. When I die, it’s clear that I’ll never see you again.

Raoul didn’t tell anyone about it, his friends treated him normally as if nothing had happened, and Kyle didn’t shed a single tear when he told them about Raoul’s terminal illness.

“… Sigh. Then what changes?”

“What?”

“What would change if I cried and made a fuss telling him not to die now? Rather, Raul-nim’s precious time would be spent worrying about me. Isn’t that really selfish?”

“Ha, but…!”

“We have seen our comrades die after being shot by arrows many times. Rather than causing pain to someone whose death is certain, the best mercy is to at least listen to their will… You fucking idiot, I figured it out.”

Kyle also recalled the many breakups he had experienced on the battlefield.

Many comrades who were kind to him when he was an orphan, including Leila, who first taught him how to use a seal.

What was gained through that death was not growth.

“There’s nothing more selfish than putting your feelings first, Miss.”

“But it’s so peaceful!”

“Is it peace like yesterday that Raul wants? Or will everyone just wither away, saddened by the fact?”

Lizel couldn’t offer any rebuttal.

But I couldn’t deny the feeling of wanting to deny it.

If only I had known it a little earlier, or if only I had known it from the beginning, I would have cherished it more.

So many regrets clouded her mind.

That’s why I ended up saying things to Kyle that I shouldn’t have said.

“No matter what… Even so…! It’s too much to say nothing! Some way to save me…!!!”

“What did you just say?”

Lisel was startled when Kyle let out a breath of life and collapsed.

He possessed the same brute force as Camilla, and he truly breathed life into her, so it was a miracle that the weak goat-like Lizel did not faint.

“Mi, sorry…”

“There’s no way we wouldn’t do anything, damn it! Do you think we didn’t try? Nana Camilla ran around everywhere to get the precious herbs! Even His Majesty the Emperor and His Highness the Empress, despite being busy, spared no expense or time in curing Raoul’s symptoms! Even that doctor you just saw was searching through all kinds of medical books to save Raoul!!”

Tears weren’t the only thing flowing from Kyle’s eyes.

It was the despair and helplessness I felt when I realized that I could not save the benefactor of my life.

I lived my life suppressing those miserable and sad feelings as much as possible. The person who would be saddest when seeing those tears would be none other than Raoul.

“Everyone who knew Raul well tried like crazy! But how much sadness must have been there before they realized it couldn’t be done? How many people must have felt miserable and helpless and cried!”

Kyle didn’t care if he got his head cut off for getting angry at Lizel.

Because we had to let that girl, whose head was a flower garden, know what kind of mindset we had in our lives.

“We’re okay? Don’t be a jerk. We didn’t become monsters from being worn down on the battlefield. We just… just…”

Kyle’s tears fell onto the fallen Lisel.

“I just learned how to hold back my tears. Because if I cry, I can’t fight. If I cry now, my comrades will die. I can cry later. That’s just how it is.”

I didn’t want Raoul to die. That’s a natural feeling that everyone has.

How much hope and dedication must have gone into it before we realized that all that effort was meaningless.

And everyone had to suffer as much as they had hoped and devoted themselves to. In the midst of that unreasonable pain, everyone had to desperately pretend that nothing was wrong.

So that Raoul won’t be sad.

“I couldn’t even repay that person properly…”

Kyle wiped away his tears and looked at Lisel with eyes filled with countless emotions.

“Everyone is desperately holding on. So that Raul can have the daily life he wants the most.”

“… I’m sorry.”

But Lizel’s tears did not stop.

How can one criticize those tears?

Who could blame the tears of a young girl who had just lost her father and now had to send her older brother away?

For Kyle, who had lost his family before, it was something he simply could not do.

“I’ll stop crying for now…”

“If my brother dies like this, I’ll just be a bad sister… A sister who misunderstands alone… A sister who gets angry alone… A pathetic sister… Ugh…!”

Lizel started to cry.

If Raoul saw this sight, his spirits would surely fly.

Those who died during those seasons did not even leave behind a body, and Kyle had to appease Lizel because he wanted to leave behind at least his own body.

“I haven’t done anything right for my brother…”

“No, first of all, calm down…”

Lizel felt as if her heart was being torn apart.

I haven’t done anything properly yet. I haven’t shown myself as a proper head of a household yet. I haven’t done a proper atonement yet.

How can you accept an unprepared breakup in that situation?

“Oppa…!”

“No, first of all, stop stop.”

Kyle, whose life was cut off, was desperate.

As the future in which Raoul would blow himself away without a trace by clapping his hands with different vibrations began to become clearer, he had to do whatever it took to calm Lisel down.

Because if he wasn’t careful, he could have died before Raoul did.

“I don’t want to break up with you already…!”

“I don’t want to part with this world either, so stop…!”

Kyle was desperate, but Liesel’s tear ducts refused to stop.

No matter what she said, it was ultimately just the tears of a young lady who was ignorant of the ways of the world. How could she remain calm in the face of the death of Raoul, the object of her guilt?

“Please, I’ll do whatever you tell me to do…!”

One of the few things Kyle was afraid of was an angry Raoul.

“Really…?”

“Yes, I will do anything you tell me to do from now on, so please stop crying…!!!”

Lizel desperately wiped away her tears and calmed herself down.

I decided to accept that that wasn’t what Raul wanted, and that nothing would change no matter how much Kyle said.

“Yeah… Crying like this won’t change anything… If oppa sees me, he’ll waste his time worrying, so I’ll stop…”

“Thank goodness…!”

“Instead, you will work at the Berger family starting tomorrow.”

“What the fuck?”

“I already had to do the annoying paperwork remotely, so it was a hassle. If you do it for me, I can spend more time with you.”

As Raul’s time was limited, he wanted to spend more time with her, but he couldn’t neglect his work.

That’s why he tried to pass on even the simple tasks that were being handled remotely to Kyle.

“Are you going to pass on the documents that I can see to you?”

“My brother said you were the best donkey… no, manpower. You can do anything from paperwork to chores.”

“I serve Raoul Bergé, not the Bergé family, miss.”

“Then I’ll tell my brother that you made me cry?”

Liesel, too, was Arthur Berg’s daughter, so she didn’t have any cunning aspects.

Kyle, who had fallen into that swamp, tried to leave with a disgusted expression.

“If I get involved in the Berger family’s business, it’ll only cause me trouble. I’d rather die than suffer.”

“Then…”

Lizel hesitated for a moment before speaking out what she had been keeping in her heart.

“If you become a member of our family…”

“I don’t like it.”

Kyle wanted to live.