episode_0122

Raoul Bergé.

The lovely man who became my lover listened to my complaints while we were fishing in the stream.

“Those disgusting things haven’t left yet?”

“…. Yeah. I didn’t know that even if your arm is cut off and your teeth are pulled out, you’ll still be attached. That’s admirable. ”

“Haa. All real parents are like that.”

“A drunkard… No, compared to that woman, the teacher looks fine.”

Raoul began to complain to me as he nonchalantly measured the size of the fish he had caught.

“What on earth did that guy see in that woman that he fell for?”

“I think your face resembles me a little bit. Even though the atmosphere is similar, it’s meaningless because it lacks class.”

“You’re both having a hard time because of your mother.”

“…… Maybe so.”

Raoul also seemed to have a lot on his mind, as he made a slightly bitter expression while putting bait on the fishhook.

“We all had very unfortunate childhoods. Those who were starving would say it’s bullshit. But in life, everyone’s own suffering is the greatest.”

“A reclusive prince who is locked in his room, a young lady who is threatened with assassination, a young lady who is invisible to the duke’s family, and even a young master who is the nemesis of the Count Berger family. It’s all very glamorous. Oh, and Leila…”

“I want to talk about the dark story to that extent. I only want to talk about cheerful stories when I’m with you.”

Raoul stared at the fishing rod indifferently and interrupted my story. Why did I come to hate stories about the past?

If it was Leila’s story, he would have been dead shocked. What happened?

I feel like maybe it’s a substitute that was brought in after that incident.

But that feeling quickly disappeared when I saw that lovely face.

Because such trivial circumstances don’t matter at all. What matters is that I can hold Raul’s hand.

“Anyway, if not me, who else would meet you like this?”

“…… And I think I’m probably the only man who’s willing to accept the violence of a crazy princess.”

“Would you really swing your fist at me once?”

“I made a slip of the tongue.”

I crawled into his arms while he was fishing and hugged him gently. Those arms, which I had wanted to hug since I was little, were just so cozy and precious.

Yes. It was a wonderful feeling, like finally holding the doll I always wanted as a child. Of course, I never put that much effort into a doll. My father was a piece of trash who treated me like I was invisible, but he was a person who gave me a lot of money.

I was feeling good, but then I remembered the trash and it almost ruined my mood.

“…… I want to stay like this just a little longer.”

But even that unpleasantness was melted away by Raoul’s voice. There is no surrounding words, and the voice may sound empty at first, but I know.

The warmth hidden in Raoul’s words and the emptiness within.

Of course, it took me quite a while to understand that.

“….good.”

And I could tell.

His arms were getting thinner and thinner. He was getting lighter and lighter each day. And his heartbeat was getting weaker and weaker each day.

That’s just how dragon venom is. Even if the body is torn apart and regenerated to become completely new, dragon venom continues to torment the target.

Normally, even the most skilled warriors would not survive more than three days if they were addicted, but our bodies, filled with modifications and sorcery, ended up extending the period of suffering.

How much time is left? How much time is left for happiness?

I didn’t really want to check it out. Rather than knowing exactly and being chased by that fear, I just wanted to faithfully savor this time day by day.

“Raul.”

But I didn’t want to just send him away in vain.

I didn’t want to let this love that I had cherished for over 15 years just fly away in a few days.

It doesn’t matter if you criticize me for being greedy. I’m used to being criticized now. I’m more afraid of becoming an idiot who loses his happiness because he’s swayed by other people’s opinions.

That’s why I wanted to somehow leave behind evidence that I existed in this world.

“I want something.”

“… Anything I can help you with.”

“You’re not saving me, you’re creating me together?”

Then Raoul immediately threw down his fishing rod and started running away naked.

Yeah, it would be scary. That sadness of childhood, that’s the life of a child you know.

Even we, who are around you, cannot deny that perception because we had such miserable childhoods.

The emperor who lost his mother in a terrible manner and was confined to the villa, the empress who was neglected and envied by her family because of her extraordinary abilities, and the princess who was abandoned by her mother and treated as an invisible person by her father.

How could I deny you, who was sad alone in the garden? No matter how much I say that the child between us will be happy, you will still remember the you of that time.

How can we break that perception when we all have the same scars?

But I want to break it.

“Raoul Bergé…!!!”

I just grabbed his hand and threw him down.

“Listen to me!”

“… Are you planning to rape me?”

“What the hell do you think I am? I’m not that savage?!!!”

“Then I wish you would step aside. Yesterday’s story was just a joke. I never intended to create a successor to the family…”

“Don’t be a jerk.”

I grabbed Raoul by the collar and wanted to slap him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Because I thought I knew another reason why he was doing that.

“Half of my blood may be the blood of some king, but the other half… the other half… that dirty…”

The barbarians of the North. He would not want to leave the blood of that filthy man who had mocked his own mother on this earth.

Because I said the reason out loud,

I could slap Raul without hesitation.

“You ungrateful bastard.”

“Why on earth are you hitting me? I’m trying to say that I can’t leave that dirty human bloodline in this world…”

“Don’t be mistaken. Your father is Arthur Bergé. The wise man of the empire, the brilliant minister, the nobleman of integrity. The great Arthur Bergé, recognized even by the nobles who are not scholars. That man is your father. Are you trying to deceive your drunken daughter right now?”

“I am his own son…”

“Does that matter?”

I guess I haven’t been able to fix this aspect.

I just felt sorry.

So I plan to fix it. Even if it means beating Raul to death.

“He called you his son.”

He hit me in the jaw with his fist.

“He acknowledged you as his son and devoted himself to you.”

He hit his temple with the edge of his hand.

“But isn’t it an unfilial act to repay kindness with enmity by saying that you are not his son?”

“…….”

“If you talk that kind of nonsense in front of me one more time, I won’t let you off easy.”

“But this is true. I was born with dirty blood…”

“Raoul. I love you. I love everything about you and I would do anything for you. Just like you would do for me.”

I was sincere.

If he wanted me to die, I could die. If I could carve myself into Raoul’s heart that way, if that was what he really wanted, I was willing to die over and over again.

I loved you that much and was lovable that much.

“You love me that much. I’ve never let those who curse at you stay quiet. Those who tried to woo me and put you down? They’re all napping in the dirt.”

It happened several times.

Those guys who tried to approach me, saying that they were better suited to me than such a petty guy.

I killed them all, but the anger still remained inside me.

“I’ll kill all the kids who curse at you.”

After saying that, he gently placed his hand on Raul’s chest, where his heart was.

“Even if it were you.”

“That’s scary. I wish you’d just tolerate the murderous intent that’s more ferocious than the Demon King’s.”

I also plan to fix that stuffy attitude of somehow belittling myself.

Even if it meant cutting off all of Raoul’s flesh.

“Aside from that…. Yes. It makes sense. At least I should be known by my name as Arthur Berger’s son.”

“Right?”

“But I don’t want to make a child.”

“Why again!”

“Shouldn’t we also think about the child growing up under a violent mother?”

“If I’m violent, how violent am I!”

“………”

I was so shocked that I almost let him go.

I also had to change that attitude of nonchalantly avoiding the problems right in front of me.

Even if it means creating a responsibility that you can never turn a blind eye to.

“… Even so, isn’t it just an animal doing something like that in the forest?”

“They’re wild boars and raccoons anyway. Accept it.”

Just as I was about to loosen my belt and let it go, a strong, sharp gust of wind blew in.

It was a very familiar and dirty wind.

The person in question actually hated this ability, saying that it made him look very funny.

“Fuck… Live closer. I thought you’d fall behind after running at full speed all day. And you’re already hungover.”

Heron Argus, my father, my teacher, and the man who served as the commander of the Empire’s military.

He also has nicknames like Storm Spear or Wind Knight, but he was rather reluctant to use those nicknames, saying, “Is that a nickname you can say in front of that cheating wife?”

At the same time, he was the worst kind of man as a father.

“Anyway, these kids are using this old man to their advantage. They’re using me as a messenger, calling me the emperor and empress?”

“Master…”

“Ah. That. Uh…”

When my father saw us, he seemed to think for a moment.

No matter what, it’s understandable to be angry when your own daughter does something like this with another man…

“What are you doing lying outside alone?”

개새끼였다 정말로.