episode_0046

Demon.

It was a term used to refer to all races that are not friendly to humanity. Although it was an extremely self-centered title, it was not a misnomer because they also formed their own tribal union system.

“It’s an unpleasant feeling… ”

There were few demons that Penelope could say that about.

Lord of vampires. That immortality and resourcefulness are annoying filth.

Queen of dragons. From poison, fire, cold, acid, lava to gusts of wind. A pest who spewed out all harmful things and a seductress who tried to molest me to the end.

A monster. A beast that could have wiped out all of us if it weren’t for Camilla.

Queen of demons. Able to take over someone’s body by manipulating their soul… The worst kind of bug.

King of demonic beasts. Because of its enormous size, it was an enemy that even I had to fight with for several days and nights.

King of the Dead. An enemy who fired arrows faster than sound from a distance of over 500 km.

And there were a few others, but the most powerful one was…

“That oppa… ?”

Liesel spoke to me with a face full of worry. It seemed like he got away with Camilla, who genuinely agreed to the assassination plan, and His Majesty, who agreed to it as a joke.

“What kind of person is the devil… ?”

Penelope and I stopped for a moment at that story.

“It’s a creature you never want to encounter again.”

“It must be a nightmare that should not exist.”

It was a strong enemy that sometimes makes my hands shake when I think about it.

If it appeared in a dream, even in a blurry form, it was an entity so vicious that it could easily be called a nightmare.

He was also a madman who started a war by subduing all other demons who were skeptical about war by force.

“Rosie is not the person to join forces with them, Her Majesty the Empress. Because she hates demons as much as I do.”

He hated the demons as much as I did, and he hated them as much as I did. It may sound redundant, but there is a big difference between the two.

“Even so, if what she brought in was a demon… and if it was a demon that made me feel uncomfortable… that is a problem that cannot be ignored.”

“Please be lenient.”

“… I don’t understand.”

“She is a woman who lost her precious sister. What I want to understand is that psychology…”

“No. I’m talking about you, Raoul.”

I couldn’t understand the words that I couldn’t understand.

I have always tried to be considerate of the other person when speaking. Even though the words were omitted to some extent if the target did not listen even when spoken to, the speech was not so terrible that the other person could not understand.

Although it may incur hate and ridicule, I have never said anything that cannot be understood.

“Why do you protect people who hate you?”

“……”

“I, Your Majesty, and Camilla all like and cherish you. Maybe even more than yourself.”

That was true. Even though I was a miserable man who could do nothing for them, they gave me a lot.

“But why do you protect people who only hurt you? Actually, we who are on your side are anxious for you.”

“That is.”

I couldn’t bear to say anything.

Because it was a simple fact that I had protected Liesel, my mother, and Rosie over them, who were my allies.

I couldn’t lie, I wasn’t the type of person who liked making excuses, and it wasn’t polite to avoid eye contact.

That’s why I decided to remain silent. Like a sinner who accepted everything.

“Raul.”

The Empress, who hates silence, called my name. This clearly meant to say something before getting angry.

“… I have no excuses.”

“It’s not about making excuses, it’s about giving reasons.”

“Because of guilt.”

I killed Liesel’s fiancé. Even though it is clear that if I had had a conversation with Liesel at eye level, it would not have gotten to that point.

I couldn’t watch my father die. If I had done better, I could have been there to watch my father die.

I killed Rosie’s older sister and my other half. If I had been stronger, I could have protected her.

“Because I am the worst human being who has no right to criticize them.”

“Oppa…”

“Raul…”

“It’s painful.”

I don’t know why I’m doing this either.

It was as if Her Majesty’s every word had revealed something she had been trying to keep hidden.

“It’s so crazy painful.”

The world where I met Liesel at eye level.

A world where I could have done better.

A world where I was stronger.

Things that were just what-ifs were depicted so clearly.

Even though I told myself tens of thousands of times that what if was meaningless, I couldn’t erase that vividness. No matter how hard I tried to open my blurry eyes, the clarity of so many what-ifs tormented me.

“It’s so painful and so painful that I can’t breathe.”

That’s why I went to the outskirts to forget them.

I want to breathe a little easier. To blur the what-if even just a little bit. To get rid of this pain even just a little bit.

“I am an awkward human being who cannot become anything. That’s why this pain won’t go away.”

I couldn’t be a selfish person who only cares for my precious people.

However, he could not be a hero who acts for everyone and ignores the pain that arises in the process.

“… Raoul. It would be deceiving to say you didn’t do anything wrong. Unlike Your Majesty, I am not round enough to unconditionally say that you are right.”

The Empress held my hand tightly.

“But people may not be cruel enough to say that the situation you are in is right.”

Those warm hands do not belong to the empress who rules the empire,

It belonged to my friend Penelope, with whom I had rolled around and shared dirt-covered bread in the training grounds and on the battlefield.

“Most people are ambiguous beings like this, Raoul.”

Even though time had passed, those eyes were still trying to guide me to the right path.

“So don’t blame yourself. That’s not wrong. Rather, it is proof that it is not biased to the extreme.”

“Is that so…”

“Most people who are biased towards one side are trash, right? Whether that ideology is right or wrong. So that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

If that’s the case… am I also a person worth living for?

Do I have the right to be happy too?

Will I be able to enjoy the little time I have left in my life?

“… Thank you, Her Majesty the Empress.”

“You’re a friend, right? You should say thank you, not ‘thank you’.”

“… Thank you Penelope.”

very little. Although it was only a little, I felt like my heart had become lighter.

It was the size of a needle hole, but it felt like my pores were open. Even though I couldn’t breathe comfortably yet, the sunlight coming through those small pores was very bright and warm.

“I’ll just head back now.”

However, because I felt somewhat awkward returning to the Bergé family’s mansion, I had to take a carriage with Camilla and return to the Duke of Argos’ residence.

By the way, whenever I saw the Duke of Argos, he was extremely gorgeous. The building itself was simple, but the value of the elite soldiers guarding the duke’s residence and the protective magic used in the mansion seemed difficult to even put into monetary terms.

“The imperial palace is no safer than the palace.”

“Well, you’ll be safest next to me, right? When you think of a woman trying to annoy you.”

“I subdued her by cutting off her arms and wings. At least you won’t recover easily.”

“Don’t you know that lizards are good at regenerating? When I think of what happened to you from that lizard…!”

“It was a battlefield. It’s a place where evil deeds are tolerated.”

Camilla’s brother also obtained food and iron by plundering demons. The parties neither preferred it nor were they reluctant to do so.

“By the way, will your sister be able to do well?”

“I’ll prepare some insurance, but I’m sure the child will do well.”

“Insurance?”

“Because I plan to prepare about 30 strategies in case that child fails.”

“No, I don’t believe it. That’s it.”

So, we entered the mansion, which was protected by numerous protective magic spells, and continued our conversation.

“It is said that Her Majesty the Empress felt uncomfortable when she saw the woman who claimed to be the victim. If Her Majesty the Empress said she was feeling uncomfortable, that would be…”

“He must be a demon executive level… Is that it?”

“Because we don’t have physical evidence yet, we can’t rush in and deal with it, so it’s just difficult.”

“You can attack after the trial is over. All you have to do is take the soldiers you just saw out with you, just in case something goes wrong.”

In that case, it was a relief.

Even if Camilla alone could miss the enemy, there was a high probability that the soldiers under her would not. Because the power of a group is much greater than expected.

“Anyway, what is the purpose of using such complicated numbers? All you had to do was brainwash Rosie from the beginning.”

If she had been brainwashed, we would have known as soon as we met face to face.

But she was fine. As if nothing had happened from the beginning.

“In the first place, she was very self-conscious, so I didn’t think she would get caught easily. And there must be some separate purpose. The purpose is to get into trouble if you brainwash or manipulate her.”

What on earth is its purpose?

We could never figure out its purpose.

Until the day my father’s trial opens.