episode_0029

The Empress leisurely poured brandy into her black tea and looked at Liesel who was fidgeting.

“Oh my, I never thought that the head of the family, who said something about my sudden visit, would suddenly visit this crippled empress like this.”

After gulping down a drink consisting of 100% black tea and 90% brandy, I looked at Liesel’s behavior.

I must have had a hard time sleeping last night, so my skin was a little rough and the area around my eyes was slightly swollen.

The hair was a little dull, so it was obvious that it hadn’t been combed properly.

“Most people who come to the temple tend to refuse, but it was quite surprising, so I accepted. I’m surprisingly busy.”

“…”

“Ah, I just said, ‘I’m quite busy, so if you’re just going to look at the land there without any business, please get out of there.’ I said this by turning it as much as possible.”

“….. Her Majesty the Empress.”

The traces of the night before seemed to be evident in his voice, which seemed to be a little hoarse rather than his usual vocal voice.

It wasn’t sadness. Because I still wasn’t sure.

It wasn’t a regret. Because I still can’t say for sure that it’s all true.

It was just anxiety.

“Raul… No, what kind of person was my brother…?”

“Fool.”

The Empress answered immediately without any hesitation.

“He is an incredibly foolish fool.”

“Yes?”

“It’s been that way since a long time ago. When I committed my first murder, when I lost my favorite subordinates, when I heard the news that my father had passed away, and even when I was put in an unspeakable situation.”

The Empress recalled the lonely image of Raoul, who had endured all those circumstances alone.

“He was always holding an old handkerchief with his eyes closed and an expression of holding something back.”

“Handkerchief…?”

Liesel seemed surprised to hear the word “handkerchief” and dropped her cup full of black tea.

This is because there was an item that could be assumed to be a handkerchief that Raoul might have had.

“That handkerchief was a gift from you, right?”

“……”

“That’s the only reason why I view you as favorably as I do other things. It is also true that Raoul has endured difficult times because of you.”

But there was no way those words would reach Liesel’s ears.

This is because the moment I presented the handkerchief to my brother flashed through my mind and the feeling was so strong that it overtook my five senses.

My brother, who looked somewhat tired, asked because he was wearing something that looked like a cape that I had never seen before.

‘Brother! You bought a new black cloak, right! It’s like a black bird, and it suits you well!’

‘…Thank you. Actually, there are some people who look good with black birds.’

‘Where did you live?’

‘It’s something I received from my father. You said you repaired a coat you loved when you were young. It may not provide strength on the battlefield, but it will cover the cold.’

‘Battlefield…?’

‘… okay. I’m planning to go very far away for a while. Maybe my father was worried because he might not be able to come back. So, you must have gifted something you cherished like this.’

When young Liesel heard that story, she immediately went up to her room with scissors, and then came down carrying a white cloth cut into squares.

‘What on earth is this piece of cloth?’

‘It’s a handkerchief!’

The handkerchief was made by cutting Liesel’s favorite dress. She willingly cut the dress into pieces because she wanted to give it to Raoul as a gift, just like her father did.

‘…Thank you.’

Raoul said this while stroking Liesel’s head.

‘I promise. When I return, I will fight for you, not for my country.’

Raoul, who was saying that, was smiling so warmly that we couldn’t even imagine it now.

“…Ah.”

Raoul was a man who kept his promises no matter what.

Liesel herself knew that fact better than anyone else. There was no way he would have broken his promise and killed his fiancé.

“Why on earth…”

Liesel started pulling her hair.

“If you had just told me… If you had just told me it was a misunderstanding… I wouldn’t have done that… Oppa…”

“Well, that fool was wrong… but even so.”

The Empress grabbed Liesel’s chin and made eye contact with her.

“After that, that idiot tried to talk to you several times. Being hated by you hurts more than I expected. So I tried to apologize.”

But all Liesel had was the memory of her coldly kicking him out when he knocked on her door saying she had something to say.

Even though I tried to tell him to go away, saying all kinds of rude things, he just stood outside the door and waited for Liesel.

He always had to wait until dawn and then go back to work.

“I… I didn’t know that… Why didn’t I know that… How could I make this mistake…”

“Please don’t be mistaken, Miss Liesel?”

The Empress spoke as she poured some brandy into the black tea that had accumulated in the teacup.

“That human… No, that’s what Master said. Ignorance is the most foolish sin. But in my opinion, not knowing is not a sin. I also have no intention of blaming you for your misunderstanding.”

“……”

“The biggest sin is not trying to know. You never once tried to face the truth because you said it couldn’t be like that.”

“……Yes.”

“How much your brother cared for you. You didn’t believe that Raoul could do that. And that.”

Liesel wanted to cover her ears, but she couldn’t.

I felt like if I tried to only hear what I wanted to hear now, there would be no turning back.

“It’s your biggest mistake. Did you get it, damn kid?”

Tears like chicken shit began to flow from Liesel’s eyes.

The Empress seemed a little offended because she felt like she was admonishing her younger sister. If you really look at it, it wasn’t wrong because she was my friend’s younger sister.

“… I’m really sorry.”

“Oh my gosh, Raoul’s ears must be so fucking bright. So that the apology made here can be heard from afar.”

The Empress tried to empty the black tea again, pouring a few drops of brandy into it.

“I am truly sorry to Her Majesty the Empress… and to her brother… I was jealous of Her Highness living happily, so I saw only what I wanted to see and heard only what I wanted to hear…”

“Why are you suddenly apologizing to me? Even Hongdukkae in the middle of the night is okay.”

“The two people who did the most wrong because of my ugly heart… really… really… ugh…!!!”

“No, why are you crying all of a sudden? If Raoul catches you crying, there will be bloodshed in the palace again, right?”

Of course, Liesel was just a big kid.

Because he was sick as a child, he was only able to leave the mansion a handful of times.

It could be said that the pain that such a child felt for the first time was not of this world.

My chest felt heavy and heavy, and it felt like my heart was being ripped out. I couldn’t breathe properly and I couldn’t speak properly.

Liesel couldn’t figure out what was what. There was only wet pain. And that pain clearly pointed to the person who should feel guilty.

“Now, stop! Stop! No, why are things suddenly getting so messy again…! I heard my mother-in-law is coming on my wife’s fan day…! If that idiot Raoul comes back by chance and sees this, everyone will be in trouble!”

Although the empress had the eloquence of a dockside worker, she did not want to face an angry Raoul.

“Now, stop! Stop! Stop before I burst into tears!”

The Empress dragged her uncomfortable body and began wiping Liesel’s face with her handkerchief.

“Good luck!”

“Oppa…! Ugh…!”

“No, I knew you would come off like a bitch and I was preparing to slap you, but why are you doing this all of a sudden? Suddenly, his face looks a mess and he suddenly asks me about Oppa Ji! Did you eat amanita mushrooms late at night yesterday?”

The Empress patted Liesel on the back and mocked herself by saying that she was being very rude as she had to comfort her now grown friend’s younger sister.

“Where is my brother…? You should go and apologize…!”

“Later! later! I’ll let you know later when I see what you’re doing, so just stop!”

In the end, Liesel could not overcome her guilt and collapsed from exhaustion from crying.

In the end, the Empress had to manually place Liesel, who had collapsed due to her unwell body, on the bed.

“No, it was your sister who did that bitch, but why is my body having a hard time Raul…?”

Like Liesel, she started looking for Raoul, who wasn’t even there.

“Why did he come and visit me because something happened last night?”

The Empress sighed and finished off the remaining black tea.

Then I looked out the window and thought of Raoul, who was far away beyond the window.

“I wish I could just forget about it and live comfortably.”

While I was immersed in memories, a black feather that had fallen on the window caught my eye.

“Crow feather…”

As she looked at the feathers, her eyes began to look faint, as if she was lost in deeper memories.

“Ha… I’m still young, but I only think about the past like an old person. Someone would think I was 70 years old.”

She threw the crow feather out the window and quietly looked at the picture of five young boys and girls.

“I still miss it though. It may sound crazy to say that I miss the war days, but I know that. I miss the days when it was enough to just worry about the enemies I could see.”

The Empress said as she covered Liesel, who was exhausted, with a blanket.

“I can tell you where your brother lives… but is that really right…?”

Raoul was now mentally pushed to his limit.

No matter how much Liesel loved Raoul, he couldn’t change his mind.

“But Liesel, I want you to be happy too. Because it seems like you are also a victim who grew up under that woman. And you, Raoul’s treasure, must be happy…”

The Empress hesitated for a moment, then smiled bitterly and adjusted Liesel’s hair.

“Wouldn’t that make it worthwhile for me to fight and give up my virginity?”