episode_0082

[Episode 82] – Wish

“Fortunately, I don’t know if it was our nursing that worked or if it was heaven’s help… but my mother overcame the fever and opened her eyes. That must have been the moment. The moment my mother changed.”

Unlike Elise, who seemed happy about Trisha’s change, Catherine, who was listening to the story, had an expression on her face as if she might break down at any moment.

Because he had abandoned Trisha, who was living in pain. Clearly, he had abandoned Trisha, believing that she would use magic to fulfill her wish and return to him.

The reason Trisha was abandoned was also simple.

If I use magic to make a wish, of course you will come back to me. If you are going to come back anyway, it was because of my terribly mean heart that I hoped you would realize, even just a little, how precious I was to you.

‘Why did I tell Trisha that? That she would regret it, that she would regret it terribly. That when she came to me and asked me to help her, I wouldn’t help her. Why on earth did I…’

If you had told me then that if you were having a hard time, that it was okay to come to you and ask for help whenever you wanted, if you had told me that you would be of some help to Trisha.

Wouldn’t Trisha have been a little less bothered?

“…So, if it’s really thanks to you that Mom changed, we should be grateful to you. I don’t know how, but you gave Mom back to us.”

Elise smiled as if she was truly grateful and slowly bowed her head. Catherine, looking at Elise who had lowered her head, felt like she wanted to die right then and there.

It was all my fault that Trisha’s mind was broken, that Trisha had changed into someone else. If I hadn’t neglected Trisha, if I hadn’t given her magic, neither the children nor Trisha would have had a hard time.

“Ugh.”

I felt nauseous. A mixture of extreme guilt and self-loathing made me feel sick. My eyes darkened at the realization that I was the one who made Trisha like that.

“Catherine?”

“Sorry… I think I drank too much. I think I need to rest now.”

Catherine tried to force a smile and asked Elise to go back. Elise said she understood and told Catherine to rest comfortably before carefully leaving the room.

Katherine, who saw that the sound of Elise’s footsteps as she walked down the hallway was getting farther and farther away, could not hold back the nausea that was welling up in her and began to vomit into the trash can under her desk.

“Woof…! Whoosh, kekekeke!”

Since all she had consumed was alcohol, all that flowed back was clear gastric juice and alcohol. Tears welled up in her eyes as the bitter pain burned her throat, and her vision became blurry. When her eyes turned white and even yellow due to the continued nausea, Catherine’s nausea finally began to subside.

“Colok, colok! Ha, huh..!”

Catherine gulped down the water on the table to soothe her sore throat. The lukewarm water ran down her esophagus, cooling it down from the stomach acid.

Catherine, who had calmed down, leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling as if she was tired. As her body calmed down, guilt and regret began to surge again. She regretted things that had already happened, saying, “I wish I had done this, I wish I had done that.”

The story Elise had told me kept lingering in my head. The image of Trisha, distraught and in pain, wouldn’t go away.

In fact, she wondered if he was still suffering, if he was crying quietly alone in a place where no one could see him. When such thoughts came to Catherine’s mind, she couldn’t stay still.

I miss Trisha. It was late in the morning, and it would be rude to visit her at this hour, but I couldn’t stop walking towards her.

Quietly, Catherine walked down the hallway to Trisha’s room. The deep room of the mansion was so quiet that it was almost eerie, as everyone was asleep.

Trisha had been living with her children in such a dreary mansion. The unnecessarily large mansion made it take quite a while to even walk to Trisha’s room.

So I arrived at Trisha’s room and quietly opened the door, and saw Trisha sleeping soundly with the blanket wrapped around her. She was sleeping soundly, not even realizing that someone had come to her room.

“Trisha?”

Trisha didn’t respond as she cautiously called her name, but as she got closer, Catherine climbed onto the bed to examine Trisha’s face closely, and bent down to look at her.

Trisha’s sleeping face showed her disheveled hair. Catherine’s hand, which was absentmindedly trying to straighten her hair, stopped on Trisha’s lips.

Catherine’s eyes captured the slightly open red lips, almost revealing the tip of her white teeth. Looking at them like this, the sense of discomfort she felt from Trisha seemed like a lie.

After hearing Elise’s story, Catherine began to wonder if the discomfort she felt towards Trisha might be due to Trisha’s ‘amnesia’.

It’s unclear what Trisha wished for when she was mentally devastated, but it was enough to make her wish, ‘I want to erase the painful memories and start anew.’

Then it all makes sense. It explains why Trisha doesn’t remember the magic he gave her, why she doesn’t remember when she lost consciousness, and why she feels this sense of discomfort towards Trisha.

‘So, obviously…’

As I gently brushed the hair that had fallen over Trisha’s face away, her closed eyelids slowly opened. Her sleepy, hazy eyes looked at Catherine, but Trisha didn’t respond.

“Sorry, are you awake?”

Trisha looked up at Catherine with blank eyes and shook her head. Then she smiled faintly and greeted Catherine.

“Good morning, Catherine.”

“It’s not morning yet… Yeah, good morning.”

Catherine glanced up and looked out the window. It was still dark before dawn, and there was nothing to illuminate the room except for the soft moonlight shining through the window.

Ugh, Trisha lifted both arms above her head and stretched like a cat, then shivered once. Perhaps because the morning air was cold, Trisha lifted the blanket up to her chin as if she was cold, and stared blankly at Catherine again.

“What brings you here this early in the morning?”

“…I just wanted to see you.”

“…? Catherine, have you been drinking?”

“Okay?”

“Yes, it smells like alcohol.”

Katherine pinched Trisha’s cheeks as if she was a little annoyed at her answering with a playful voice. Trisha let out an ‘Eww’ at her stretched-out cheeks and smiled cutely when she let go.

Trisha continued to smile, unaware that her smile was troubling Catherine’s guilt. Trisha stared intently at Catherine’s face, then cautiously asked, seeing Catherine’s dark expression.

“…Did I do something wrong yesterday?”

“Huh?”

“Since the question about ‘magic’ you asked me yesterday… Catherine’s expression doesn’t look good. Did I answer wrong?”

“……”

Catherine’s throat tightened again as she looked up at Trisha, who seemed genuinely worried. Living as a courtier and living in the count’s household, one thing she had never noticed was the control of her facial expressions.

But, in front of Trisha, his expression loosened up so easily. Catherine smiled bitterly and calmly stroked Trisha’s hair. The emotions that she could no longer hide choked Catherine’s throat.

Catherine looked Trisha in the eye and asked with a choked voice.

“I have a question.”

“To me?”

“Yeah, to ‘you’.”

Catherine’s choked voice, which seemed as if she would burst into tears at any moment, made Trisha nervous. It was Catherine, who usually didn’t drink alone, asking herself this question so early in the morning while she was still drunk.

Even the most clueless Trisha could tell how important the question she was about to be asked was to Catherine. Trisha swallowed hard and listened to Catherine.

Once, twice, Catherine opened her lips, but she continued to move them, unable to utter a word. After a short silence, Catherine asked Trisha in a trembling voice.

“…If someone granted you a wish, what would you wish for?”

“…? Yes? What did you say?”

Trisha, who had heard the question, felt a little relaxed, thinking that it was stupid to have been so tense just a moment ago. She could tell that Catherine was a little strange right now, although she didn’t know why.

I couldn’t help but feel nervous when she asked with a stiff face that was usually bright and cheerful and a voice that seemed like it might cry at any moment. But the question that came out was something like that. Catherine, are you very drunk?

“What is it? Catherine, will you grant me a wish? Do you know what I wish for?”

“Anything I can give you.”

“…? Yes? What is it, all of a sudden..?”

The question that was taken as a joke was answered seriously. Realizing that the question itself was not a joke, Trisha lay down and held her chin with one hand, thinking. Trisha couldn’t understand why Catherine was asking her such a question.

‘Wish..? Even if it’s a sudden wish…’

Catherine looked down at Trisha, who was groaning and struggling over her wish. This reaction itself was proof that Trisha had no memory of magic or her past.

The reason she asked what her ‘wish’ was was simple. If the Trisha she knew were to make a wish, she would definitely make one for her children.

If he were to make another wish, he would be proving with his own mouth that the Trisha pondering the wish in front of him is not the real ‘Trisha’.

Catherine felt that this was the only way to confirm the discomfort she was feeling. She had no doubt that the Trisha she knew would make a wish for the children.

‘Now, I’m too tired of doubting you. So.’

There was no more strength to doubt. I needed evidence to dispel this sense of discomfort. Proof that Trisha was not someone else.

‘So, please. Give me an answer that makes me believe you’re Trisha.’

Trisha, who had been groaning and moving her lips as if in pain, slowly opened her mouth. Her eyes opened wide as if she had made a decision, and she smiled faintly and spoke to Catherine.

“…Do you have only one wish?”

“What?”

“Ah, that’s right, I don’t think my wish can be fulfilled with just one…”

Catherine frowned, feeling a sense of discomfort rising again. No, it’s too early to jump to conclusions. We haven’t heard the details of the wish yet.

Catherine frowned and sighed softly as she answered Trisha’s question. Whether it was one wish or dozens, she thought there was no way she couldn’t grant it if Trisha wanted it.

“It doesn’t matter. Are you greedy, Trisha?”

“Hmm… I guess there’s nothing I can do about it. They say that wishes are easier to make if you set them to numbers.”

“Okay? So, what’s your wish?”

“My wish is…”

Trisha smiled and stretched out both arms. Catherine was taken aback when she saw the hands reaching out to her. Trisha stretched out both arms to Catherine as if she was throwing a tantrum, as if asking Catherine to raise her if she wanted to hear her wish.

Catherine sighed softly, then put her hands under Trisha’s armpits and pulled her up as if she were lifting a child. Trisha responded by bending her arms and wrapping them around Catherine’s neck, making it seem as if Trisha was embracing Catherine.

Just like a parent comforting a child,

Trisha whispered as she hugged Catherine and patted her back.

“My first wish is.”

Something that cannot be achieved with just one wish.

A wish full of greed.

“I hope you are happy for helping us.”

“Huh..?”

“And as my second wish, I wish for the happiness of children.”