episode_0066

“……Gasp!”

I opened my eyes.

A serene silence, and sunlight breaking through the darkness.

Cold air permeated deep into my chest.

It was dawn, just before sunrise.

My head ached.

Where… was this?

I was clearly in the costume shop just a moment ago.

Why was I covered by a strange blanket?

I spread out my hand.

Instead of plump, snow-white skin, I saw chapped skin stained with herbs.

I lifted my head.

This wasn’t the lodging I was familiar with.

It was someone else’s house, with a log ceiling.

My vision blurred.

Was it a dream?

Was I isolated in the Charrak Mountains, falling asleep in a hut I entered to escape the downpour?

Had I woken up from that time?

Could everything I’ve seen until now have been a dream?

“…….”

No.

This… was a place I knew.

It was a space so familiar and cozy that I instinctively felt relief.

The moment I looked down at my body again.

I felt that the area below my line of sight was empty.

More precisely… the mounds that were always visible were gone.

No chest?

The moment I felt around, I realized.

I was a man.

“Gasp!”

The moment I took a short breath.

A giant earthworm squirmed through my mind.

It thrashed wildly, piercing through all the memories from that time, fragment by fragment.

“Ugh-!”

I was so dizzy that I dry heaved.

I exhaled in ragged breaths.

“Gasp— Gasp—.”

I remembered.

I… Tia Anshier… No, that’s not right.

It’s Ritsu.

My name is ‘Ritsu’.

My grip loosened, and something dropped to the floor with a thud.

It was a red bandage.

“Gasp—. Gasp—.”

So that’s what it was.

I… had seen all the memories contained within this bandage.

I had just escaped from a vision of memories that was so long I couldn’t break free from it.

But what exactly had I seen?

Even though I’d clearly seen all the memories, they felt vague when I tried to recall them.

As if they were caught in a hazy mist.

However, one undeniable fact was….

I had seen all of Tia’s actions since I was attacked by the bear.

Exactly what Tia had said.

I didn’t remember what conversations she’d had.

But I could roughly sketch out the situation.

She had followed the tribute convoy to save Dienbus, encountered bandits, was stranded in the mountains with Fosao, barely escaped, and finally reached Deseo.

She had faced hardships in Deseo, met Fosao again, and I saw her struggling to collect a thousand gold.

“My goodness….”

What I felt after putting it all together was awe for Tia.

How… had Tia overcome those difficult trials and adversities?

There were countless situations where, if I had been in the same circumstances, I would have simply despaired and died.

Tia had survived tenaciously.

Within that strong and tenacious vitality, there was only one purpose.

Me. The will to revive Ritsu.

Tia had struggled so fiercely solely for that reason.

“Tia…….”

I want to meet her. Right now.

Clank!

I threw open the door.

A cold wind rushed against my face.

Oh, right. I had stayed in the memory vision for too long.

Deseo at that time was autumn.

When I opened the door of the lodging, I would always see a street filled with the noisy sounds of carriages and countless people coming and going.

But here now… it was so quiet it felt unfamiliar for a moment.

Just a humble mountain, densely packed with scrawny trees.

It was winter Breezedon.

“…….”

Let’s go to Tia now.

I ran alone through the village, where people hadn’t yet woken up.

I went down to Tia’s house and entered the password “February 2nd” at the wooden door.

“Tia!”

I opened the door and went inside.

But there was no one in the house.

“Ah.”

Only then did I remember.

That Tia… had gone down to the lower village.

It had only been yesterday, but it felt so long ago that I couldn’t recall it.

My head was spinning too much, so I sat down in a chair.

This was dangerous.

Having been trapped in the memory vision for a month and a half, I couldn’t distinguish myself from Tia.

When I first entered the memory vision, I clearly felt like ‘I was watching Tia’.

But at some point, I became Tia herself.

I recalled and felt her thoughts and emotions exactly.

Had I been so deeply immersed that I recognized myself as Tia immediately after escaping the vision?

Fortunately, I soon remembered that I was Ritsu again.

But the memories were so tangled that I couldn’t clearly distinguish whether they were mine or Tia’s.

It was as if I genuinely felt I had visited Deseo, a place I had never been to before.

“Phew…….”

I let out a deep sigh and opened my closed eyes.

Items placed on the shelf came into view.

They looked familiar.

Slowly, I reached out and picked up a water bottle.

Inside, pure white petals floated gracefully, not withered in the slightest.

“So it was this. The gift I received from Chii in Charrak. Was it called… ‘Starflower’?”

Beside it was a sword-shaped statuette.

“The Provost’s Seal received from the Deseo Defensive Swordsmanship Association.”

Strangely, I remembered everything.

Next, I moved my hand to another item….

“This was….”

It was a ribbon brooch with a large blue sapphire embedded in it.

The brooch’s frame, made of silver, shone with a pale luster.

It looked like a very expensive piece of jewelry.

I felt like I had seen it somewhere before… but I couldn’t quite place it.

“Ugh!”

As I casually tried to grab it, I felt a strong resistance.

I felt an intense unease, as if I would be sucked into another endless vision.

I pulled my hand away.

I didn’t want to see any more memories for the time being.

I was not in the mood for it at all.

I stopped looking and sat back down in the chair to catch my breath.

Still, something felt… off.

Because I hadn’t seen all of Tia’s memories yet.

The memories had stopped midway.

No, to be precise… that was the last of Tia’s memories contained in the red bandage.

The period of Tia’s journey I had seen was about a month and a half.

The reason such a vast amount of memories could be connected was that she had never once let the bandage leave her body.

She had put on the belt immediately upon waking, and always kept it right by her side when she slept.

But in the last memory, she began to use a new belt that didn’t have a pocket.

The red bandage had fallen away from Tia’s body.

From that point on, there were no more memories related to Tia, which was why I was able to escape the vision.

“…….”

The questions I had harbored all along were understood one by one.

I think I understand why Tia said she couldn’t explain everything that had happened during that time.

Her words, that even staying up all night wouldn’t be enough, were not an exaggeration in the slightest.

It truly was… a continuous series of unbelievable events that couldn’t be summarized.

I had misunderstood.

Because I had lived my entire life only in this small mountain village.

Because I had never actually experienced life outside the village.

That’s why I couldn’t understand Tia.

And Mister Fosao.

Thinking of his fat body, bulging cheeks, pockmarked forehead, unpleasant laugh, stammering speech, and terrible stench, he was someone I would never want to be close to.

But at the same time, I didn’t exactly hate him… I felt a complex mix of emotions.

In ‘my’ memories, that Mister seemed to be unpleasant.

But ‘Tia’ had many good memories of the Mister.

With those conflicting memories and emotions bundled together, I couldn’t definitively say whether I liked or disliked him.

…Personally, I disliked Mister Fosao because of his bad reputation.

Meeting him for business was fine, but I didn’t particularly want to get along well with such an unpleasant man.

Honestly, even going to the general store a few times was out of pity.

I was afraid that if I didn’t buy something, he would starve to death alone.

It was a kind of procedure to confirm the Mister’s survival.

However, Tia didn’t dislike Mister Fosao.

Clearly, in the beginning, she treated him with a more intense revulsion than I did.

But as their time together grew longer, by the end, she considered him a ‘good person’.

It was strange.

If it were me, I’d be too ashamed to even lift my head if I were walking around with such an ugly Mister, so much older than me.

Tia didn’t care.

Far from being ashamed, she even scolded bad people on the Mister’s behalf or helped him.

I… couldn’t blame Tia for that.

The reason Tia thought well of Mister Fosao was, of course, partly because he had helped her many times.

But the ultimate reason was that Tia was too kind.

Tia was so kind that an ordinary human like me couldn’t even begin to fathom it.

That’s why, even in difficult Deseo, people touched by Tia’s good heart offered help, and with that help, Tia was able to get back on her feet.

“……Was that a good thing?”

Honestly, I disliked it.

I had no intention of denying that one of the reasons Tia was able to safely endure her lonely and difficult period was thanks to Mister Fosao.

But I still disliked it.

He kept making excuses about massages.

I disliked how he seemed to constantly reach out and touch Tia’s body.

I could fully understand him touching her legs in Charrak.

There was the purpose of treatment, and it would have been hard to leave the village with such painful legs.

But even after that, Fosao continued to give her shoulder massages or back massages.

When I last saw him, he even touched Tia’s stomach.

A place even I had never dared to touch.

Her fair and beautiful stomach, at that.

“……Why?”

Why hadn’t Tia brushed his hand away?

Had she accepted the massages the Mister gave her without any suspicion?

Tia.

No matter how close you are, there’s a ‘line’, you know?

Like the boundaries drawn in this village.

There are things in the world that aren’t permissible.

But why….

Even when Fosao touched her stomach and her chest area.

Why didn’t she say ‘no’ then?

“…….”

Even so, I couldn’t criticize Tia.

After all, the fact that I was alive meant that Tia had safely rescued Dienbus and returned to the village.

As someone revived, I should be grateful for their cooperation.

I ran my hand over my face.

I wanted to see more.

How Tia succeeded in Deseo.

If so….

What object could I use to continue seeing Tia’s memories now?

It would, of course, be the new belt she bought, but Tia had worn it when she left, so I couldn’t check.

The item she always carried was… the Rose Saber.

And the ruby necklace I had given her as a gift.

Likewise, Tia had taken them with her, so they weren’t here now.

At best, it would be her clothes.

If it were clothes…….

Creak—.

I opened the wardrobe.

Among the various clothes, the most eye-catching was that pure white dress.

“Was it this….”

I knew.

This dress wasn’t bought to be worn at a baptism.

It was a dress purchased to attend a banquet that took place in the autumn, and simultaneously, an item that contained memories of Tia attending that banquet.

It should be fine, right?

Dawn had just broken, so there would be some time before people woke up.

So, just for a moment.

Just a very brief look.

As if drawn by an invisible force, I reached out and grabbed the dress.