episode_0014

“……..”

A tightly closed room. Left alone in the darkness with not a single ray of light, she hugged her knees and fixed her gaze on the floor.

Her appearance looked so unstable and dangerous at the same time.

If someone saw her like this, she looked so precarious that they would think of a flower that could end its life at any moment, blown around by the strong wind.

The reason she changed like this was definitely because of ‘him’.

Raon.

A man who appeared in front of her as she wandered around with nowhere to stay, exhausted from people’s pointing and harsh criticism, and reached out to her.

It was because of the man who gave her, a wandering vagabond, a place to stay.

He was kind, honest, and strong at the same time.

His sincerity and strength were so amazing that even she, who had endured countless finger-pointing and harsh words for years, was amazed.

The human heart is like glass, easily broken into pieces. No matter how strong it is, once a crack starts to appear in the heart, the crack grows bigger and bigger until it becomes uncontrollable.

As time passes, it is eventually eaten by the crack.

No matter how small or insignificant the crack, once glass is cracked it cannot be repaired.

The same was true of the human mind.

Once a crack starts to appear, it will gradually crack and break down.

And in the end, it just becomes countless pieces of fallen glass, losing its original, beautiful form.

This was no exception for her, who possessed the power of a warrior. Her heart had not yet broken, but there was a crack in her heart that was so large that it could not be covered with a hand.

You can’t cover the sun with your hand. No matter how far you stretch out your hand, the sun’s presence does not disappear and remains, which soon reminds you of how futile it is to cover the sunlight with your hand.

Even though she tried to pretend not to know or not to know about the cracks in her heart, she couldn’t hide them. However, the Raon she saw was different from those ordinary people.

He too was someone who had the same pain as me.

I didn’t know because I didn’t hear the details, but he said that he had been living here for a very long time and had been acquiring the skills and information necessary for survival.

From how to hunt for food, to how to chop firewood, and…

How to survive too.

He told me that he had been through countless dangerous situations in the name of survival, including one where his life was in danger.

So it was obvious that he had never lived an easy life, and as if to prove this, his every action was filled with the instinct for survival.

But the man she sees before her eyes now is such a bright and kind person.

I knew how to appreciate small things and not be greedy.

He was truly… peculiar.

Those who have experienced this despair are usually unable to return to their normal lives as before.

Don’t kneel before the despair before your eyes and hesitate to get up again.

Of course, this does not mean that everyone who has fallen into despair cannot find hope again.

Everyone living in this wide world goes through similar processes.

Among them, there are those who are in despair because they lost someone precious to them, and there are those who are in despair because something they cherished was broken.

Despair comes in different sizes and shapes every time, so people have difficulty recognizing it.

But even at this moment, some people are despairing and some are rising.

But what if the magnitude of that despair is so great that it cannot be handled by the person involved?

Since gaining the power of a warrior, Camilla has helplessly lost those dear to her.

It was a tragic and miserable past that she did not want to remember, and although it had been several years since then, the events of that day still lingered in a corner of her mind and ate away at her.

People live finite lives that are neither short nor long, and leave behind countless memories and recollections.

And most memories either fade away or remain clear over time.

The vivid memories are embedded in the deepest part of her, the owner of the memories, and are not forgotten until she closes her eyes.

Even after so long, she still remembered that day as a nightmare, the rain that hit her that day, and even the feeling of her family’s bodies cooling down.

She was still haunted by memories of the past and suffered from them.

But the man she saw was different.

He also presumes that she had the same feelings as him. Although it is weak, I can give you some evidence for this, because when you ask him about his past, he gets very flustered and keeps changing the subject.

He deliberately did not give specific details about his past, ending with a brief explanation.

Hiding his past.

After realizing this, she stopped asking about his past, and he smiled shyly.

“………”

She couldn’t raise her head as she thought about his innocent smile.

He was kind and gentle.

That’s why I used him.

It was obvious that he had been speaking to her, as he had been living isolated from the village and kingdom for a long time and had not recognized her as a warrior.

If he had known that she was a warrior… if he had heard the rumors that she had followed the warrior once called Hope.

He might not have reached out to you.

Like others, he could point the finger at himself and distance himself, or at the same time, harm himself.

But he didn’t know her, so he offered her a helping hand, and she took advantage of it.

By taking advantage of his favor, I was able to obtain a place to stay and at the same time gain his trust.

As the days spent with him grew longer and the time she spent with him grew longer, she felt as if the cracks in her heart were gradually being filled.

But at the same time, the guilt weighing on her conscience grew with each passing day.

The more she felt fond of him and the more conscious she became of him, the more her conscience began to prickle her chest.

The moment she heard these words from him today, she was overcome with a sense of overwhelming guilt and avoided him, going into her room.

The moment she heard his somewhat sincere words, she was delighted that he also thought the same way as her, but at the same time, she couldn’t control her expression as she remembered her past that she couldn’t tell him.

She eventually rushed into his room as her composed expression began to crumble.

If she had been even a little bit late, she might have broken down in front of him.

The guilt of lying to the person who accepted her. She longed for him and wanted to be with him, but the reality that she couldn’t because of her past as a warrior broke her down.

Of course, if she had been more cunning and shameless than she is now, she could have fooled him until the end and continued her daily life with him, but she couldn’t do that.

I didn’t want to lie to him anymore. I didn’t want him to hate me for reaching out to me.

It was truly selfish and cowardly.

In this situation, she was unable to do anything and all she could do was surrender herself to the darkness and escape reality for a while.

I want to escape from the unbearable and undesirable reality and fill my eyes with false hope.

Of course, it was clear that the guilt and loneliness that would follow after waking up from the illusion created by false hope would weigh on her heart, but even so, she could not stop.

Soon she became one with the darkness and closed her eyes.

***

After that one commotion passed, the next day she opened her eyes to the warm sunlight that woke her up.

Perhaps it was because she couldn’t sleep in the right position. Today was more difficult for her than usual.

After waking up, she stared into space for a while, trying to come to her senses.

She closed her eyes, recalling the small, everyday moments with him. In her dreams, she looked so happy.

Holding hands with him, we wandered around a world we had never known before and slept together.

The image of her in the dream was the image of him and her that she had longed for, and it was also a dream that could never come true.

So, when she noticed this, she carefully got up from her seat. Although it was a bit difficult for her to move her body, perhaps because she had been in the same position for a long time, she forced herself to get up.

To apologize to him for what happened in the past.

She got up, worried that his condition might have gotten worse since he was bedridden due to illness.

[thud]

Something flowed from her shoulders because of her actions.

The night before, she had not worn anything but her clothes until she closed her eyes, so there was nothing to drip down.

Something flowed down her shoulder.

She felt puzzled by this and soon couldn’t say anything after hearing it.

What flowed down from her shoulders. It was a thin blanket, and it was none other than him who covered it.