episode_0237

Having a child. It wasn’t a simple matter, and it wasn’t something to be done lightly.

You had to take on that responsibility and be prepared for it.

Otherwise, in the end, I would be no different from my parents.

That thought drove me further.

I had a strong feeling that I would pass on my trauma to my children.

Since he’s both Kylon and Jimin, honestly I wouldn’t bother him that much, but I could make him happier, but in the end, don’t I have my own problems to deal with?

I felt a great sense of burden because I had to carry the child for 10 months and then raise the child, not because everything ended with giving birth.

But he just whispered to me that if it was too much, I should just quit.

I tried to take a break and let those words sink in for a moment.

I just had to catch my breath and try to chase away the nightmare I was having.

I woke up from the sleep I had been feeling, raised my head blankly, and stared blankly into space.

When I woke up, I yawned, threw my head back, and stretched my heavy body.

And at that moment, I felt a playful presence of hands behind me, grabbing my pajamas and pulling them back.

My body, which I had barely managed to get up, fell back down onto the bed.

“… What is it.”

“Just lie down a little longer.”

Same bed, same pajamas. He was in the same bed, looking the same, and he was snickering and talking to me in a sarcastic way.

I feel uneasy when I hear the word child, but how can he be so calm?

Or is he just trying to cheer me up?

I don’t know. I just smiled because I liked the warmth of this warm bed hugging me more than I thought about anything else.

As I was feeling that warmth, his voice rang out.

“Minhee.”

I awkwardly raised my head and remembered once again that that was my name.

“Why?”

When I answered his call, he smiled and pulled me towards him.

As I pressed my body against his soft yet firm muscular body, his hand ran down my back, sending shivers down my spine.

The reason was that, instead of over my pajamas, he started from under them, dug into my clothes, and skimmed over my bare skin.

“Huh?”

As I groaned, I heard his playful laughter.

“What the… Are you saying this because you couldn’t do it yesterday?”

As I complained, he nodded.

“Of course. I wanted to do it yesterday.”

“… It’s been a year and nothing has changed.”

I laughed bitterly.

Now it’s a dream-like memory, but it’s still a vivid memory because the guy named Kylon who was in that memory was still here.

It’s a bit strange that a guy who was so obsessed with sexual desire that he only thought about how to make others suffer one more time ended up only looking at me. Anyway,

When I raised the corners of my mouth as if I was dumbfounded by the story, he said as if I was in no position to talk about it.

“Then you? You’re still wild.”

“?”

For a moment, a question occurred to me.

When you call someone who is just sitting still obscene, I wonder what they have to do to not be obscene, and my eyebrows naturally furrow.

You’re just wearing pajamas and hugging each other. What are you doing here?

“What’s so dirty.”

When I spoke stiffly and disgruntled, he stroked my back with his warm hands.

“Just everything.”

“I don’t know what that answer is… ?”

“When I look at it, I feel like I just want to do it.”

Maybe it was because he originally had a high sexual desire, but it seemed like he was just trying to package the story of what he wanted to do. I opened my eyes wide and carefully pushed his body away.

Then, as if he wasn’t applying much force, his hand brushed my back and fell away, creating some distance between us.

“I guess he just did it because he wanted to.”

I tried to say it bluntly, but he reached out to me again as if that wasn’t the case.

I realized that it wasn’t trying to hug me, it was just trying to touch my cheek.

He grabbed her chubby cheek with one hand and then pinched it gently as if he was touching a rice cake, trying to stretch it out.

“Uh, not me?”

“Why do I always say things like this? I’m just saying this because I like you.”

“What the. Aya.”

The moment I snorted, his hand pecked my cheek.

“Minhee.”

“… Why?”

They were lying on the bed, facing each other.

Until just a moment ago, he looked like he was going to ask me to have sex in the morning, but now all the playfulness had disappeared and only a serious face remained as he stared at me.

Even though he had returned to reality, his body was still that of a warrior, so it could be said that it was a body that had strength that surpassed the ordinary. That was probably why, when he set the mood, the air around him felt heavy.

Compared to him, I was just a woman with no ability, so enduring this atmosphere was a bit burdensome.

“Are you afraid of having children?”

As expected, since he had a serious expression on his face, serious words came out of his mouth.

It was a story I had told yesterday, and it was a trauma I had been afraid of. Of course, it wasn’t a trauma that would cause such a seizure, but it wasn’t a good memory because it brought back those days that were like my nightmare.

When you hear the words pregnancy and child, you probably don’t think of anything, but if it were me, it would be a different story.

“… I’m more afraid of what happens after having a child than of having one.”

I want to wish you happiness. I want to give you love.

But would I be able to be that subject and capable?

I was worried that maybe I couldn’t do anything for them and the kids would become attached to Jimin and Kylon, who were better than me.

I was afraid that I would become like my parents, just by not being able to do anything for them as a parent.

Thinking about it, I could say that I was completely unprepared.

“I’m so worried that I can’t do anything for you. But you have money, a good personality, and you promise to take care of things for me, unlike your parents.”

“… Right.”

“But I am not. There is nothing I can do. My heart is also so empty, I feel like the only emotions I can give are for myself… ”

As I mumbled and sighed, pouring out my worries, I heard his voice in return.

“No.”

At the soft voice, I hesitated and met his eyes again.

Then his expression came into view. He seemed to be somewhat joyful, and even happy.

“You are a kind-hearted person who knows how to sacrifice yourself for others. I’m sure you can do the same for your child.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

He told me to be reassured.

I closed my eyes tightly and exhaled.

*

Minhee, the girl who received my name was Veronica.

With her shiny, flowing black hair, she would not look out of place in a shampoo commercial, and her golden eyes gave off a fox-like vibe that captivated people.

The dreamy combination of black hair and golden eyes seemed to draw people in.

I already knew what she was holding.

We spent a month in the game world over there, and a year back in the original world, talking and sharing a lot about each other, so there was probably a lot we didn’t know.

So when I told her I wanted to have a child, it was understandable that she would throw a tantrum or refuse to do so. Furthermore, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

I was worried about how to appease her, but more than that, I wanted her to be free from the past and to act on it.

So I brought up what she was worried about and tried to comfort her by telling her that it wasn’t that and that it was okay.

But while we were talking like that, there was something she said sharply to me. I swallowed a sigh when I heard that.

Veronica, you’re not that kind of person.

You are not looking at yourself properly.

You are definitely a kind person.

How can a person who knows how to give up his life and shed blood for others be called a person who lives only for himself?

Otherwise, you can’t help it because your own safety is at risk?

But you were turning on that game and using the power of the goddess just a few months ago.

Linda, Agnes, and Flora.

I racked my brain to write a proper ending for those who didn’t finish it properly.

The story could have ended with her simply going on a trip, but she didn’t do that.

In a country where polygamy is allowed, the favorability and affection were evenly distributed so that the character ‘Kailon’ could live happily together.

Even though I showed you that, does it make sense to say that I only care about myself?

Even though he has already left the game, even though the other world is just a game, how can he be called a cold-hearted person who does not easily abandon the world he has experienced once?

“Minhee.”

I called her by the name she had.

She turned her golden eyes towards me.

It was a questioning expression, as if a question mark was floating above his head.

“You are a warm-hearted person.”

Maybe because you and I both grew up in desolate homes, we wanted to cherish that warmth even more.

Although they may not know it, they may have been trying to find the good in each other.

Because it was cold, we tried to love each other as if even a small spark were so precious.

That was all.

“… Lie.”

It was a small voice that came back, but soon she buried her head in my arms.