episode_0235

A year had passed. It was said that winter had come again.

My body changed, the world I lived in changed, but the precious person next to me did not change.

That alone was enough to calm my mind and put a smile on my face.

I was Han Ji-min and I was Veronica.

And now I live under the name Yoo Min-hee.

He, who was Yuminhee and Kaylon at the same time, now lives under my name.

After changing my name somehow and living that way for a year, I gradually became accustomed to it and was able to settle down with it.

But sometimes I get confused. The fact that I’m using the name Minhee.

When we first met, I used to call him “Kailon, Kaylon,” so it couldn’t be helped that it felt awkward to suddenly call him “Jimin.”

That too is now all in the past.

I captured the winter snowy landscape in my eyes.

His parents really didn’t care about him, and even though I pretended to be Min-hee, they just ignored me as if they didn’t care, which made me feel really cold inside.

It’s really just us.

Neither family seems to be looking for us.

Well, I guess there’s nothing I can do since I originally lived such a tragic life.

It was snowing. I opened the curtains on the windows of the large house and looked beyond them. The thick snow was falling, and it seemed as if the world would turn white tomorrow.

Just being close to the window made me feel cold.

And then, when the cold winter came again, I remembered meeting him here.

That was when I was looking for Kylon’s face while wearing a thin saint’s robe.

Just thinking about it makes my hands still feel cold.

“What are you doing? It’s cold. Come here.”

“… No, it just snowed a lot.”

At Kylon’s voice, I opened my mouth blankly and answered.

It was hellish to be dragged away and twisted by fate, but in the end, it was like I was pulled out of hell. And I ended up with a body that I couldn’t return to.

As if my body was nowhere to be found, the transparent glass window showed the snowy night beyond while softly illuminating my face.

Black hair that reaches down to her waist and golden eyes.

Of course, I’m not saying that I want to go back after coming all this way.

Now, I feel more comfortable with this. Even though our genders were switched, we quickly adapted because our personalities matched each other.

That was all.

I felt so excited.

Winter was that kind of season for me.

I sighed as I stopped and tried to put my hand on the window.

And then he put his hands down again and slightly raised his head.

Then the curtain closed, and behind me, Kylon hugged me from behind.

The eyes I had been looking at disappeared and bright colored curtains covered my vision.

A warm body temperature was transmitted to me, as if a huge body was wrapping itself around me from behind.

My heart was pounding. I liked Kylon. I liked Yoo Min-hee.

I liked that he was now using the name Han Ji-min.

I think the name is good, too. Also, the appearance is good, too.

Because there was nothing that could define him by name or appearance.

“Minhee, why do you keep doing that when it’s cold?”

“… I think it’s just by looking at the eyes.”

When I answered him with a wry smile, he quickly nodded and held onto my body, lifting me up. I felt his forearm firmly lifting my chest, but now, more than that, I was more embarrassed by the fact that my body had suddenly been lifted up and was struggling.

“Wow?!”

I stretched out my legs, which I thought were long, but I couldn’t reach anywhere.

The house itself is spacious, so I don’t know if I should say it’s good that I can wiggle my legs without bumping into anything, or if I should say it’s annoying to be held in his arms and carried around like that.

Maybe it’s because we don’t feel any aversion to physical contact with each other, but I really don’t care if my chest touches or ripples because of this behavior, but I can’t help but feel embarrassed because of the timing.

What is it? I don’t feel like it, but I’m having trouble with him constantly touching my chest.

But I wasn’t really that bothered or disliked it, so I just let it slide with a complaining tone.

“Hey! Put it down… !”

“Yes.”

Slap.

As soon as I said that, almost screaming, he put me down.

Right on the sofa, too.

The huge sofa had some space left next to me even when I lay down. Even if there was space left, it would only be enough for 0.5 Veronica to fit in.

His knees were trying to take up space in the gap where there was plenty of space for me.

The bed made a thud sound and I swallowed my breath.

There was something threatening about him looking down at me from above, but at the same time, I felt lewd.

Every day, when this kind of atmosphere is created, I desperately want to say that I want to do it, but Jimin is sparing his words by pushing me with actions without saying a word.

I swallowed hard.

This is not a game world. I am not a saint. So it is only natural that when I get hurt, it hurts and it takes time to heal.

It’s not an extraordinary being that comes back to life even after dying and doesn’t get hurt.

So the hymen also does not regenerate anymore.

So, if you have a child, you should give birth to the child as is.

That was my reality now.

Jimin’s voice rang out in the silence.

“… Today, in the living room?”

“What are you talking about… How are you going to clean the living room if you make it dirty?”

“Then do you want to go out and do it?”

“It’s cold.”

“Toilet as usual?”

I kept my mouth shut.

It’s because I’m tired of the atrocities that seem to just ask me to choose a place by saying “Do you want to go?” instead of just saying “Do you want to go?”

As he exhaled deeply, the corners of his lips rose.

“We’ve been together for a year now and we’re legally married, right?”

“… Right?”

At those words, I felt uneasy for no reason and raised my eyebrows.

Didn’t we meet last year at this time in the winter, enduring the cold hands?

Besides, after informing his parents (nominally ‘Min-hee’s parents’) and registering the marriage, they could officially call themselves a married couple.

Now that I couldn’t leave without filing for divorce, he whispered quietly to me.

“… I’ll feed you.”

“I said that before, but… ”

“So, let’s have a baby.”

I stopped and froze at the sound of that voice.

What he said when he proposed to me was that he would feed me. To be honest, I had nothing and I couldn’t give him anything, so I wondered if it was right to accept, but he readily agreed, so I accepted the marriage.

But what’s important now is that even though we’re married and a couple, we don’t have any children.

In the first place, I decided to put it off because I thought there was no reason to have it at such a young age since he was not that old legally or physically, but now he brought up the topic of wanting to have a child and brought it up to me.

“… Why?”

So I was curious.

There were still so many things we wanted to see and places we wanted to go, so I wanted to ask him why he was doing such a thing. The thought of why he was doing such a thing at such a young age wouldn’t go away, so I looked straight into his eyes and mumbled.

“I just want you and me to have a fruitful life.”

“… … why.”

When he heard that the mouse was dead, his mouth opened.

“Unlike my parents, I want to show my children that I love them. Just doing it and being satisfied with it is enough.”

I see. There was something like that.

Well, if it were me and his child, I would want to do well for them.

Because we were struggling with that.

Unlike my parents, I…

At that moment, my eyes widened. I felt like I was going to vomit, so I pushed him away with all my might.

His body, which had not been holding on to his strength, suddenly shook violently.

“billion?!”

Sorry, just a moment.

Leaving him groaning behind, I left the sofa and ran to the bathroom.

I went into the dark bathroom, forgot to turn on the light, sat down in front of the toilet, and repeatedly retched to try to get rid of the feeling of nausea.

Even if I try to forget, the trauma that comes back when I am given a keyword is engraved in my mind as a nightmare.

My parents both went to prison and I couldn’t see them anymore, but I didn’t think it mattered.

But I couldn’t figure out why it appeared so often in my memory.

It was hard.

“Ugh… !”

It wasn’t that there was any vomiting.

It was just because my body was convulsing on its own out of disgust and pain.

“Minhee! Are you okay?!”

Jimin, panicking, ran over and tried to check my condition.

The dark bathroom lights turned on with a click.

At the moment of brightness, I didn’t know whether to leave my shaking pupil in the dark, so I just dropped it to the floor.

“… … .”

Die, die, die, die.

Even though they knew that raising a child would be difficult, they conceived a child without using contraception, and the children that were born were not blessed, and there were children who died before they could even perceive the light.

I felt dizzy at that memory.

My face naturally frowned as I tasted a terrible memory.

“… Not at all.”

So I just shook my head slightly when asked if I was okay.

That was all.

I wasn’t ready to have children.