episode_0118

Veronica requested. He asked to be held, to be able to taste the taste of destruction, and to be able to erase all the power, responsibility, and trauma he had been carrying.

The reason was that he was not confident that he would be able to get out of this end anyway, and if there was nothing after shedding a lot of blood and swallowing pain to move forward, he felt that he would not be able to endure on his own after that, and I, who had been so confident, and the other people It was because I didn’t think I would be disgraced by the party members.

Of course, it is said that there is an ocean at the end, but if it fascinates others and there is only a desert with nothing behind it, what facial expressions will the people who followed behind make?

Yes, she must be afraid of that now. So, you don’t want to do anything right now, you want to lose your power in this place, throw away the trauma and feel at ease.

But it was impossible to do that.

“… I’m sorry, Veronica. I can’t stop.”

Because this journey couldn’t end here.

Since we won’t be able to catch the devil like this, let’s quit. Because the word did not exist.

When I cut her off so firmly and spoke sharply, she opened her eyes wide and raised her head as if surprised.

The eyes that had once fallen turned towards me again.

“Why… ?”

“Even if we try to stay still, the devil won’t stop.”

“… … .”

Veronica, who recognized those words at once, bit her lip and made an expression of injustice.

It was a pity that he seemed to be asking why he had to do that.

I guess I said this because I wanted to give up everything, but my feelings were heavy when I said I couldn’t quit.

Still, I kept talking because I had no choice but to say it.

Even though Veronica’s expression wasn’t very good, I couldn’t stop.

“Even if we want to live in this world, we have to fight. Let’s run away and live in a safe place. That option doesn’t exist. This is a world where peace can be found only when the Demon King dies. Just like in the world we originally lived in, there is no option other than fighting with only weapons… ”

It was probably something Veronica didn’t want to hear.

The difficult work that came with the suddenly given body and abilities, and the trauma she received because of it, repeatedly stimulated her, so she wanted to stop.

There was no sanctuary for her in the original world or this world.

If my life was smooth, it would have been smooth; her life would never have a bad day.

So, I felt like I was tormenting her with just that much pity.

I said I would make room for her if she stayed next to me, but in the end, even being next to me didn’t make her comfortable.

Now that things are different from what I knew, and the monsters are getting stronger, I also feel sorry that the burden on her back has become so heavy.

“… Kylon… ”

Veronica’s despairing expression came into view.

So I hugged her and answered in a whisper.

“It’s okay. are you okay… Even if there is nothing at the end of this, I will be by your side… ”

I told Veronica that.

I felt a faint throbbing sensation running through my body as I hugged Veronica.

As we hugged each other for a while and shared each other’s pulses in silence, Veronica found it difficult to open her mouth and asked me.

“Are you really not going to complain even if there is nothing at the end?”

“Yes, it was something I should have done anyway.”

“… Then what should I do? If this continues and I can’t find the Pope or go home, I won’t be able to do anything… !”

“At that time, just stay next to me. At that time, let’s throw away all our abilities and go live somewhere far away without any trauma.”

“… Ah.”

“Why do you want to feel comfortable now?”

“… … .”

Everyone wants to be comfortable. However, I have lived a painful life up until now, and I had no intention of forcing it on Veronica, who lives with painful memories here.

Because I just wanted to always bring stability to her.

How on earth did he lose his memory of reality? It could be that he was in shock and activated his defense mechanism, erasing memories he didn’t want to recall.

The more painful the memory was, the more it was a memory I did not want to experience.

What on earth are those painful memories? No, you already know. She was just in a place where there was family discord, or even violence that went beyond that discord, and because of that, she couldn’t even go to school.

So, I wanted to provide a place where she, who had lived that kind of life, no longer had to be afraid.

“… Well then, I’ll make it easy for you.”

Because I just have to work a little harder.

6 bottles of potions. The blood she squeezed out as she struggled to the end.

In fact, most wounds do not allow that amount of blood to flow out. Probably, as before, they cut the arteries and cut the body with knives, shedding a wasteful amount of blood.

My heart aches.

But I couldn’t tell her not to do it anymore, so I just approached her.

“Are you okay?”

“… Do you really want me to hug you?”

“Yes. You say you want to feel comfortable now?”

“No, I thought wrong.”

“?”

Suddenly I wondered what he was talking about. He had already said that he wanted to be comfortable, that he wanted to quit over and over again, that there would be nothing at the end, and even when I said that I was going to move on, he said that he didn’t want to be difficult.

So I approached you like this to listen to you, but why are you trying to push me away again?

“… I hate it.”

“Veronica?”

“I hate it, I hate it, I hate it I hate it I hate it.”

Repetition of rejection getting faster and faster.

It was scary. It seemed like Veronica was no longer Veronica.

She raised both hands and pushed me away. And then he covered his ears and started crying.

The firm refusal had already turned into sobbing.

The tears flowing from my eyes momentarily looked like blood.

“I don’t like it! no! I hate it!”

What, why are you like this?

Now I was just embarrassed.

At first, I just thought that she was in a really bad state, but I had no way of knowing why she kept doing this, and in the end, I just thought that I wouldn’t be able to talk to her because she had lost all sense of reason, so I took out a hypnosis stone from my inventory.

Actually, writing this didn’t feel particularly good.

I had promised myself several times before that I would only use it for Flora and not for Veronica, but seeing Veronica’s condition now, I had no choice but to rescind even that promise.

Is there any other idiot like this who can’t even keep a promise to himself?

“Use on Veronica.”

He shouted that he didn’t like it, that this kind of behavior was nothing but disgusting, and activated hypnosis towards Veronica, who was making a fuss. After that, Veronica looked at me quietly with blank eyes.

This was supposed to be one of the elements that really sucked, but when I actually used it on Veronica, it didn’t have any of those elements and just felt pitiful and my heart sank.

I was afraid that Veronica, whose heart would die later, would be the only one left.

“… Veronica, when I ask you a question, answer me honestly.”

“Yes.”

It was an inorganic answer, but it was an honest answer.

But after doing this, I had no idea what to ask.

If you think about it, you probably already know everything.

She was a loner who had been abused in the past and grew up alone amidst violence. For me, it was neglect, but for hers, it was violence, so it could be said that there was a huge difference in the degree.

In fact, if you only knew that, her family situation was already obvious.

Still, since we had come this far, I thought I would at least ask her, so I started with the most basic cause of her seizure.

“Why do I hate sex? ? Just by putting it in, the ability disappears and the trauma disappears?”

“… You’re having a child.”

Veronica, with her empty pupils fixed on empty space, answered like that.

I thought it was cute because the answer was honest but a bit clumsy. Well, sex itself is the act of creating a child, so that’s possible. However, just because you cum inside doesn’t mean you can have a baby, there is a contraceptive system, and if I use my abilities, I can make it something that never happened.

If you put a raw dick in and cum inside, but just feel the mood and then do the same with the feeling of using cleansing magic for anal sex, that could be said to be a method of contraception in its own way.

Anyway, I felt a sense of discomfort behind the cute Veronica.

Wait a minute, do you still refuse to the point of causing a fight just because you’re having a child?

Behind my doubts and the realization that I didn’t know the details of how far the abuse continued, I blamed myself.

Well, after all, I only knew her superficially.

“… Do you hate having children?”

“If it happens, you’ll kill it… My mom was like that too.”