episode_0061

The idea that I could just stay by his side like I was at home didn’t make sense to me.

When asked if I had said that I wanted to go home because it would have been more comfortable, my answer was, “Well, I don’t know.”

After being blank like that, I soon closed my mouth and quietly looked at Kailon.

I did want to go home. But if you ask me if my house was comfortable, I’m not sure.

well. Did I really like home that much?

Was it really that much fun to sit in a room that was only a few pyeong in size?

Was I that happy when I was quietly drawing and dreaming of the world beyond the screen and living in fantasy, when I was flirting and laughing with people I didn’t even know?

I couldn’t answer that.

All I have is the thought of wanting to get out of this place.

Therefore, after a long time, I was finally able to open my mouth and answer Kailon, who was glaring at me.

“… It’s not that I like home, I just want to leave here.”

“I know that… Isn’t the house nice?”

“I don’t know.”

Kailon, who was scratching his head in frustration, groaned and then narrowed his eyes.

Then, he crossed his arms and tapped the other arm with his finger, sighing as if he had come up with an answer after much thought, and spoke to me.

“Then don’t act like you’re at home, just stay still. Since you say it’s hard, I’ll trust you just one more time.”

What do you mean by believing?

I took credit away from Kylon, but was credit something that was created so randomly?

I narrowed my eyes at Kylon’s incomprehensible words, groaned, and looked at Kylon.

Then, Kailon continued speaking slowly, as if he was supplementing his words.

“… Honestly, I want to check it one more time, but even if I don’t look, it’s probably there again. So, it’s not that she can use the power of a saint because the hymen exists, but because she is a saint, the hymen continues to exist…

So, when it comes to losing a virgin, it means you have to take action to make it disappear, not just remove the curtain with your hands, but you don’t want to do that, right?”

“… … .”

That’s right, I completely agreed with that, so I nodded without opening my mouth.

No matter how much of a woman I was, I didn’t want to be attacked by a man, so even just putting a finger in her was painful.

It was clear that I wouldn’t be able to resist if a cock that big came in, so I felt like my body was already shaking.

Maybe my body was too sensitive, but I was shaking every time I did something, so I couldn’t help but feel really tired.

I groaned as I felt a heavy silence pressing down on my shoulders, and Kailon rubbed his eyebrows a few times and then lowered his hand.

“… From now on, don’t do anything like self-harm. Next time, on that real day… ”

“Ah, okay.”

He trailed off, but I knew well what was hidden at the end.

Having seen a hymen twice, he knows that simply pointing a finger won’t cause me to lose my power.

So, I could take it to mean that next time, he would just push ahead without considering my feelings.

That’s really funny.

I tried so hard because I didn’t want to be crushed under a man and cry on his dick, but now I see that if I try harder, I’m in danger of being doomed to cry.

The idea that I didn’t have to do anything, anything, felt really vain.

I felt like something wasn’t quite right. I don’t think it was like that at home either.

“… Come here.”

“Yes.”

Hearing what Kailon said, I slowly walked over and sat down next to Kailon.

Then, Kailon wrapped his arms around my right shoulder and then pulled me into his arms.

Startled, I dropped my body and tried to sneak out, but Kylon gave me a weak squeeze on his hand, as if telling me not to escape.

With blank eyes, I looked at my right shoulder and the hand blocking my exit.

Then I turned my head and glanced up at Kylon’s face to my left, where I was leaning.

Perhaps because he sensed my gaze, Kailon stayed still and then quietly spoke to me.

“I know why you want to go home. No, I keep thinking about myself and forgetting things, but I know why… ”

Was he sorry for saying something as if he was urging me?

He talked for a long time about this and that, as if making excuses.

Seeing that, I stopped struggling and trying to escape from his embrace, relaxed my body, and quietly listened to his voice.

What else should I say? Because I want to.

He spoke to me for a while in an apologetic voice, then swallowed his saliva and rubbed my forearm a few times.

“Still, I said we came from the same place, so there’s no way I’d leave you alone. therefore… I don’t know what kind of life you’ve lived, but at least when you’re next to me, take some of the burden off your mind. Because you don’t have to do something to have him by your side or make you a colleague.”

In short, he was telling me not to harm myself.

He seemed to be showing his will that he could not accept it if he could only get better through the self-harm I did.

Why was I supposed to respond to his voice that just wanted me to stay still?

Should I just keep my mouth shut and nod like this?

I closed my mouth and parted my lips, and Kylon slowly raised his hand to wrap around my head and slowly stroked it.

I thought about pulling away, wondering what on earth he was doing, but when I saw Kylon’s mood, I thought struggling might be a bit too much, so I just accepted it calmly.

He hugged the back of my head so that my head touched his arms, and then he comfortably stroked the back of my head and spoke softly as if whispering to me.

“… If you’re having a hard time, tell me.”

It was really hard.

However, with the single thought of wanting to go back, I consoled myself that I could endure the hardships.

That’s why I was able to endure it.

I am who I am today because I was able to endure some of the pain that came both physically and mentally.

Even if Kylon says this, I will probably endure it if something like this happens again in the future.

I have to endure it to be able to go back.

I will be able to escape the fear that I might get caught again and die.

But Kylon had a different opinion than me.

I promise myself over and over again that even though I am suffering right now, I will endure it if I can escape this world right now, but he was a person who would throw away my current situation if I told him I was having a hard time.

When I saw that examining my hymen was also a way to tell me not to harm myself, I was at a loss as to what to say.

It’s a bit of a twisted method, but my mixed feelings were squeezing my chest as I thought I might just kick the other kids out when I said I was having a hard time because of the catfight.

Wow, the fact that my tight chest was making me feel so frustrated was even painful.

Even after hearing those words, I could not easily accept them, and as I was burying my face in Kailon’s arms and being stroked, Kailon’s hand stopped moving on top of my head.

The feeling of him lightly pressing my head was comfortable, so I stayed still, and as I was breathing out in the silence, he continued speaking.

“What is the most difficult thing right now? Am I attacking you?”

Of course, there was that, but when I saw that he was stopping at a quasi-sexual act, it seemed like he was putting off actually putting his dick in my body until we agreed as much as possible, so I was a little less scared.

Well, it was tiring to be a girl by showing her and to use my hand like an onahole, but I still thought it was okay.

Not in the sense that it’s good, but in the sense that if you can’t do anything, shouldn’t you at least do that?

So, it wasn’t the problem with Kylon that I found most difficult.

The problem was that I was mentally exhausted from being caught in the political fight between Linda and Agnes.

But, I can’t say that.

Because I want to go home.

Didn’t say anything.

I knew very well that being a teaching assistant actually requires a person to have some screws.

It was something that was easily done by someone who wanted the other person to act according to their thoughts and manipulate them, no matter what emotions they were having at the moment, so it was something that someone who felt emotional exchange could not do.

So when he announced that he couldn’t be a teaching assistant, I thought he would.

Even when he said he would turn around and leave, he nodded.

Even if he gets stronger late, he won’t completely collapse as long as he has a heroine.

However, I wasn’t confident that I could handle it if the heroine started to be abandoned just by my words here, even if just by chance.

Just like when I declared that I wouldn’t be able to teach as a teaching assistant, it became an issue that I couldn’t just ignore, so in the end, I just had to say something else.

“The most difficult thing is… I’m just afraid of being captured by the king again.”

Then Kailon hugged me tightly without saying a word.

Although I didn’t want it, I felt a subtle emotion because it was my first time feeling a person’s body temperature so close.