episode_0057

A morning with birds chirping. As I opened my eyes and woke up my dazed mind little by little, I heard them having a conversation, wondering if it was me who woke up late or the people next to me who woke up early.

As I slowly opened my eyes and started tossing and turning, adjusting to the light, I heard a voice coming from next to me.

“Saint.”

Is Agnes saying good morning? I didn’t think about it.

The atmosphere I felt as soon as I woke up in the morning was not one of harmony, working hard from now on, or chatting.

Although they were messy, they both had serious expressions on their faces, so I rubbed my eyes and carefully straightened my hair, wondering what was going on.

Then, I noticed Agnes’s eyes turning towards me as if she was caught somewhere.

Linda’s gaze behind Agnes was truly cruel.

“… Yes?”

“What were you doing with Kylon yesterday that made you stay so long?”

Oh, are you questioning me since morning?

I didn’t think much of it because when I close the tent, the sound doesn’t leak out, but I didn’t expect to be asked so quickly.

After hearing the question, I groaned silently for a moment and then thought about whether I could come up with a good excuse.

“Well, I was looking at the guidance I received from the bishop… ”

There wasn’t much reason for me to be alone with Kylon.

That’s why I thought there might be some connection, and I glanced at Agnes and Linda.

Linda frowned and let out a sigh, as if she was feeling relieved after hearing those words, and Flora, who was behind Linda, just glanced at me with an expressionless expression and said,

“… … Yes.”

Agnes, who had asked me a question first, nodded without clearing her suspicious mood, as if she understood something even though she didn’t like it.

If this happens, I won’t be able to go to Kailon in the future.

It didn’t feel good to see him already being checked like this.

I would have to stay with them from morning to evening, and the thought of fighting with each other without Kylon in sight made me feel dizzy.

Just when I thought I had barely gotten past it, I started continuing the story I had told myself when I woke up earlier.

Linda’s protest.

“No, Agnes… I approached Kylon first? Why yesterday, or the day before… !”

“… A hero doesn’t necessarily have to have just one person.”

And with Agnes’s subsequent rebuttal, a bloody atmosphere was permeating the inside of this tent.

As I was feeling eerie for a moment that the end of the spear was pointing at me, Flora listened quietly and then opened her mouth.

“Heh, it’s so funny to be so obsessed with a guy like that.”

Hearing Flora’s mocking voice, Linda clenched her fists and returned her sharp voice to Flora.

“Then why don’t you leave?”

“… What?”

As the situation unfolded so quickly, I fell asleep for a moment and tried to wake up my struggling mind.

In fact, I was half aroused by the bloody atmosphere, but the feeling that the situation was serious made my head ache and I felt like I couldn’t come to my senses.

When Linda was now indiscriminately wary and growled as if she was going to push Kylon away at the thought that he might steal her side, Agnes stretched out her hand and spoke politely to Linda.

“Linda. It went too far. This was their problem in the first place, but the fact that they keep harming others like this is also a problem.”

There was a clear reason for her words, which gave off that gentle charisma unique to nobles, and the words that came out of her mouth made sense and were enough to persuade people.

However, that only works for rational people, and cannot work for people who are already emotionally invested, so even after hearing those words, Linda did not keep her mouth shut, saying she knew.

“No, who stole my bed with Kylon? It’s you, Agnes.”

If it were just an animal, wouldn’t it have bitten off the back of its neck and fought?

“Kylon doesn’t belong to you. Linda, wake up. Kylon also has the right to choose.”

“In the first place, when I was doing well, did you give me the right to choose by interfering?”

Despite Agnes’ quiet voice, Linda tried to raise her voice as if she was dumbfounded and couldn’t easily accept those words.

What’s going on this morning?

If you’re going to fight, why fight yesterday?

After complaining internally, I hesitated to get out of my sleeping bag to get out of the tent.

But as I was doing that, Linda’s voice soon came towards me again.

“The saint is also a problem. I heard the saint encouraged Agnes? There was already me in the first place… And yesterday I wasted a day because of the saint.”

In the end, it seemed like he started blaming me for not being able to crawl into bed because I stayed with Kylon for a long time yesterday.

Linda, who I had been sleeping with until now, must have been in a bad mood because she lost her sleep with Agnes, and in the meantime, it seemed like the reason was that Kailon didn’t call anyone because of me.

It seemed like the reason was that Agnes, who had been expecting to be called again after sleeping just once the day before yesterday, ended up getting rid of her bed.

So, in the end, I ended up bursting out after Linda had been holding back for a day, and after cheering her on, I ended up taking her out of bed the next day.

As I listened to the sharp story, I felt like everything that happened yesterday was my fault and my head hurt.

No, since Kylon said he couldn’t even be a teaching assistant anymore, there was nothing I could do to help him, and if I kept pushing for something in return for my help, Kylon might get upset like last time, so it was better not to do it.

So in the end, I just muttered without saying anything.

“… sorry. Because of me.”

Well, because I had nothing to be proud of.

“… … .”

When I apologized, the tent suddenly became quiet. Linda clicked her tongue, scratched her head, tied her long hair into a ponytail, got up and left the tent.

I felt like I was going to feel cold in the suddenly chilly silence, so I held on to the sleeping bag I had just gotten out of and then put myself back in.

If I weren’t a saint, I would just like to live as a hikikomori, but why do I face this ordeal?

As I was enjoying the feeling of being depressed since morning, Agnes, who was next to me, spoke softly.

“I’m sorry. You cheered me on, but you made a loud noise like this from the morning.”

Still, Agnes at least apologizes to me.

Feeling at ease with that thought, I nodded.

“… It’s okay.”

“But, something like yesterday… I wish it wasn’t there. No matter how much she is called a saint… ”

I’m sorry for doubting you, but please don’t create any reason for doubt.

Is that what you mean?

When I heard that, I felt like I was going to burst out laughing.

In my heart, I wanted to do that too.

But isn’t that why we’re doing this because it doesn’t work?

There was a lot I wanted to say, and there were quite a few emotions I wanted to vent. Still, there was nothing left in my mouth to say, so I just bit my lip.

“… sorry. I will make sure nothing like that happens in the future.”

When I answered with a moaning voice, Agnes responded with a formality.

There were some soft emotions mixed in, but I didn’t have the energy left to feel them deeply right now.

“I’m sorry for being rude this morning, and thank you for responding that way.”

After hearing those words, I nodded my head lightly and closed my eyes.

“Well, you have to eat.”

“I have no appetite… ”

“Then.”

Agnes packed up her sleeping bag and left the tent.

I happened to be left alone with Flora in the tent, and I suddenly wished that she would just shut up and leave.

But Flora’s irritated eyes turned towards me, as if my wish could not always come true.

“Saint.”

“Yes?”

“… … It’s nothing.”

What else are you going to say? Flora, who seemed to be letting go of the feeling she wanted to have, sighed, got up, and walked out of the tent.

Only a roughly folded sleeping bag, a haphazardly taken off sleeping bag, and a neatly folded sleeping bag remained next to me.

Inside the tent, which suddenly became quiet, I pursed my trembling lips.

“… … .”

Why am I not doing anything right?

Was the problem that I thought I had to push myself to achieve something? I’m sorry for hiding it and deceiving it, but I had my own circumstances and I hoped you would see it.

But that doesn’t work either, so I’m having a hard time mentally here.

No matter where I went, my body and mind did not feel at ease.

I was seriously worried about whether I should just return to the Holy Kingdom and take the position of Pope.

If I do that, I will be far from returning home, so it will be a little difficult to make a hasty decision.

Who wants to do something like this?

Linda’s sharp voice, the meaning contained in Agnes’ soft words, and the sound of Flora clicking her tongue shook my head.

I was so upset for no reason that I could only let out a small, irritated voice.

“… Fuck.”