episode_0030

My body was cold.

I don’t know why, but that thought crossed my mind involuntarily.

It was so cold that I could see my breath, yet the sunlight was too bright to attribute it to the cold. Maybe it was because I was barefoot. Or perhaps it was because I had a coat flipped inside out over my pajamas.

“No, that’s not it. It’s because I ran around so much, sweating a lot.”

But why did I run around so much?

I don’t even go to school, so there’s no reason for me to be practicing for a physical fitness test. It’s a strange situation. Quite difficult to understand. Perhaps it’s an alien conspiracy. What are the NASA guys doing? Hurry up with the investigation of extraterrestrial life.

I shook my head in disbelief.

I dropped the sticky knife on the floor. I tried wiping it with the snow on the ground, but it was just as sticky. My clothes were also stained with blood. Just then, a cloud passed overhead. The light disappeared. Shadows loomed. There was nobody around, nothing could be heard. Just like in the old days.

“Haha.”

I laughed.

Unintentionally, laughter escaped me.

With each step I took, the laughter wouldn’t stop, causing the muscles in my face to tremble.

I kicked the legs of the film debris that rushed towards me, making a crisp sound. I’m not sure what I’m saying, but it seems like I’m screaming. It’s noisy. When I grabbed the throat to silence it, it finally became quiet. So, I laughed again. Laughed while letting the life slip away along with the bloodstained knife from my hand.

“Ha-, Haha.”

Will something like this flow through my body too?

The difference between humans and film is only in terms of edibility. Thin veins, protruding bones, fragile flesh, they’re all the same. Why is there no difference? Because humans are ultimately just a reproduction of the past. In the end, everyone is fake. Pretending to imitate the dead. Ding dong dang dong, I almost said, “Correct answer.”

In reality, I’m just laughing.

Feeling so good, so excited that my steps stagger uncontrollably.

Walking into the hospital, the film debris piled high mixes with snow and blood, illuminating the way brightly. Plunging the last remaining head of the film debris into the main entrance, I push open the door.

“Ah… Ah… Ah?”

There was no one in the hospital.

White walls. White corridors. White ceiling.

Open 24/7. Strange. Everyone usually flocks here, eyes glazed over for free medication. I close my eyes. It doesn’t matter if I close just one, but it’s more comfortable to close both. And then I open them.

“Eh, um… E-excuse me…”

“What the…?”

“In his hand… th-that… a human head… hey…?”

See, I told you it was there.

But everyone’s expressions are dark. Have they caught a terminal illness? Not good. In the end, it’s meaningless once you die. Anyway, I confirmed today that the hospital doors haven’t closed. Judging by the frantic phone calls and shouting, it doesn’t seem any different from usual.

“Don’t move!”

“Huh…?”

“Didn’t hear me? Keep your hands up and stay still! If you move, I’ll really shoot!”

Loud.

Threatening in a public place, someone who doesn’t even know common sense, disappointing even for someone like me who hasn’t graduated elementary school. But maybe because I’m feeling really good right now, it wasn’t as unpleasant.

“Unit 2 is gone, where did they go?”

“They went to suppress the Eunyugi. Half of them have already turned into muk-sabal and been taken away.”

“The guys who went to stop the Jagyeongdan are also out of contact. It seems like that guy…”

“People have to suffer from crazy antics since Christmas…!”

Ah, I see.

That wasn’t a person, it was film.

They make incomprehensible noises, but they seem to be good at acting when they need to.

“Umm… huh…?”

“Why not just shoot and subdue him? Just looking at him makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“Right now, evacuating the patients is the priority. There was already a lot of talk after the ceiling collapse incident not long ago.”

“But if we leave it like this, it might really get into Professor Park Hee-na’s ears and then it’ll be a disa─ disaster!?”

After stabbing the knife into the throat, the loud noises ceased.

If they just stayed quiet on their own, nothing would happen. I don’t understand.

Why are you calling someone else’s aunt by name so casually? Besides, that aunt is a sensitive person. That’s why the aunt disliked everyone—mom, dad, grandma, grandpa. If I, the only one who’s somewhat approachable, don’t take care of her, she definitely won’t be able to sleep properly.

That’s right. I came to the hospital to meet the aunt.

Why do I keep forgetting things like a fool? I’m truly foolish. I don’t understand. Why was I born so stupid? Just as the aunt says, I am a fool. There’s nothing in my head. Ignorant, pathetic, unnecessary.

“Darn it, shoot! Shoot right now!!”

“I-I’m trying to avoid it! It’s impossible with a tranquilizer gun!”

“Aaaah!!!”

“My hand, my wrist!?”

“Th… permission granted to use live rounds──”

“Captain!”

“Die, you damn monster’s spawn!!”

The sound of gunfire, bursting noise, spattering flames, on the right. Next to the head. Unpleasant sensations, feeling nauseous and disgusted, flames crackling, memories boiling incessantly, pulling out a knife backwards, not wanting to die, not wanting to think about anything, feeling the approaching heat, swinging the arm along with it.

“Crack… ugh…? Why, did I get hit… by you….”

“Tsk…naah……”

“Oh, no! I didn’t mean to…!”

“What, what’s happening now… that kid shot bullets with a knife….”

“Luuucaaaaa──!!!!”

The muzzle, trigger finger, forearm, clothing, shoulder, face, shield, abdomen, internal organs, heart, skeletal structure,

An unpleasant film blocking the view,

A meaty lump resembling a human.

After kicking, there was a bang, and

The crumbling white hospital covered everything.

Bright red. Dark red. Gruesome.

“Haa… haa……”

A residue clinging to the foot that felt nothing touched. It was still warm. It cooled off shortly after. The coat got all dirty. Heavy. Wet. I should ask the aunt to clean it. Where was the aunt’s office again? Since the film has been cleared away, she will surely praise me.

Laughter bubbled up again.

Flipping the hood back. Walking unsteadily. Hungry. Thirsty. A burning thirst that constantly surges. But the corners of the mouth don’t droop. The head doesn’t ache. It seems like everything’s fine now. I don’t need to take medicine anymore. Even without that, I’m perfectly fine. Can I go back to school now? So I can be in the same class as Jin and sit next to him. Not sneakily eating lunch but eating together with our desks pushed together, arms linked, chatting happily all the way to the reading room. Wow. Just thinking about it is cool. Going back to being ordinary. If I’m better, that means Jin is normal too. Then the aunt can play soccer together just like before, right? Let’s find the aunt quickly, and Jin will come if we wait. Everyone will surely be happy. Oh, right. Today was Christmas, wasn’t it? As old as I am, there wasn’t really a Santa, but to receive such a happy gift is truly exciting. Ahaha. Ahahaha. Haha, ha.

Laughing.

Unconsciously lightened steps led to bumping into walls here and there, falling over, getting up repeatedly while laughing, standing in front of the familiar aunt’s office. Stabbing the knife into the doorknob. Smashing everything inside. The doorknob comes off. Opening the door wide. Smiling brightly. Laughing widely, raising a hand.

“Auntie~ I’m here~!!”

“Uh…? Uhh… what… what did you say… why are you….”

“Goodness, were you taking a nap during work again? That won’t do. Even if Auntie is younger, she’s still in a superior position. You should set a good example for the employees. A role model.”

“Nephew, making a fuss over such a silly thing… Ugh… My head is pounding… Another terrible dream… Huh?”

Yawning deeply, Aunt suddenly lifted her head with a start, causing me to awkwardly wave my hand. She slowly lowered her hand, eyes widening. Oh, did I startle her without a word?

“Oh~ I was going to call ahead, but there was no phone. And now I realize I don’t even know the number!”

“You, you… What on earth is all this about?”

“I was in such a rush that I didn’t have time to change my clothes. Hehe. I’m really foolish, right? Haha. Ha. Hahaha. But it’s okay! Because I have Auntie who knows everything!”

“Why are you acting like this? No, Ryujin. Where did that darn fool go this time?”

“He said he was going to the hospital, so I followed him! Without Jin, I’m useless! I even lost my slipper, what should I do? I’m prepared for scolding, so do as you please! I really enjoy being scolded by Auntie! Like this, like this! Ahahaha!!”

“Ugh… Could it be… you didn’t take your medicine?”

“Nope! I don’t need it anymore! I’m completely fine now, all thanks to Auntie! Thank you, Auntie~!”

Excitedly laughing and cheering for her response, I clapped my cheeks vigorously. Blood tinged my mouth slightly. Nonetheless, I gulped hard and pushed aside the desk to embrace Auntie. Knocking things over, breaking them into pieces. Everything must be cleared away. Why obstruct our bond? I care for Auntie so much.

“Alright. Alright, just for now… Let’s take the medicine one last time. Okay?”

“Why? I don’t want to. I’m telling you I don’t like it. It’s bitter and tasteless. It makes me feel depressed and my head heavy. Right now, I feel so light! Like I could fly in the sky. Don’t you think so too? Auntie, you think the same way, right?”

“Your brain is messed up, and without the medicine, your emotions and hormones won’t be regulated, how many times do I have to say it! Pull yourself together and take the medicine! Right now!!”

“I don’t want to.”

“What… Ugh!”

“Don’t say that, let’s play together. Earlier, you wanted to play together too. You were nodding off while hugging like this.”

“When did I! And don’t call me by my name without respect!”

“It was Grandma who forced us into this anyway. Besides, you’re a year younger than me, so you should listen to me, right?”

“Let go of this…!”

“Hehe~ Why is my dear Hee-na so cute and adorable even as she grows older~.”

Our Aunt says, softly and gently, as if enveloped in warmth.

Especially striking are Aunt’s long, ash-gray hair strands fluttering around. So smooth like silk, burying my face in it makes me feel playful. And there’s a nice scent too.

When will Jin arrive?

In these blissful moments, having Jin here would make it truly complete happiness. I hope he comes soon. Haha. Hahaha. Hahahaha. Oh. I’m happy. Extremely happy─.