episode_0005
by fnovelpia“Are you transported back 14 years like me?
I know how stupid this question is.
I also know how strange Shin Yujin will look at me if Yujin’s situation is different from what I expected.
I had no idea how to deal with such a situation.
Because I was confident.
Shin Yu-jin must have gone through the same thing as me.
If I didn’t do that, I would have to face situations that I couldn’t understand many times.
At the same time as the question was asked, there was a short, but never felt, silence.
“… What do you mean?”
When Shin Yujin’s answer reached my ears, my heart instantly sank.
However, in that atmosphere, Shin Yu-jin’s expression caught my eye again.
I can’t easily look into my eyes, as if something has caught me. And he can’t keep his hands still, as if he feels anxious.
It seems like it would be necessary to nail it down with solid evidence to prevent it from being taken out.
“The hand gestures that Yujin kept showing me. That’s not a habit I developed from a fracture I had in the past.”
“Yes?”
“You fractured your index finger early after you married me. It’s a hand habit I developed because I thought it was amazing how my bones kept making noises after I healed.”
Silence came again.
It was no one else who broke the silence.
It was Shin Yujin’s deep sigh.
“There’s really nothing you can do about old habits.”
An unfamiliar voice to me. But the speaking style and tone of voice are familiar.
For a moment, the Shin Yu-jin I knew appeared overlapping with me.
“When did you know?”
“I had no idea at first. I started guessing by looking at your hand movements.”
“Really?”
“How much did you know?”
“When I started talking about my favorite coffee menu. After that, I was bothered by people looking at me like they knew everything.”
We sat down on the bench again.
Even though the big worries that were confusing my mind were gone, my mind was still complicated.
I have no idea how to continue the conversation.
“Is this a dream?”
“Isn’t it too detailed to be a dream? It’s probably not a dream.”
“I was definitely 34 years old until yesterday, but I can’t believe I turned 20 overnight.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“What?”
“You all knew each other. What do you want to do?”
“… You’re not trying to say something weird like let’s start over again because we’re back to when we first met, right?”
After hearing Shin Yujin’s firm thoughts, my dizzy mind cleared up.
I found out that Shin Yu-jin returned with memories like me, but are we starting over from the beginning?
Just like Shin Yu-jin, I also have no intention of doing that.
If we have memories of each other, the same thing will happen again anyway.
“I don’t think so.”
“Thank goodness. I wasn’t there either.”
“People around me don’t seem to have any memories after 14 years. So I asked what to do.”
“Yerim and Hojin must have seemed like we would get along well, right?”
“Probably… I guess so. If you think about today 14 years ago.”
“I don’t think there’s any need to pretend to be dating. From what I remember, it started with contact back then, just like it does now.”
Shin Yujin scratched his head and got up from the bench.
It has a very complex expression. I guess I’m organizing my thoughts easily.
“Let’s just talk nicely to each other’s friends. We are still in contact.”
“Yes, that would be better.”
“I think it would be right to do so, considering the effort that went into creating this position.”
“Then.”
Just as Shin Yu-jin turned his back and was about to walk away.
A thought quickly passed through my mind.
I immediately got up from the bench and grabbed Shin Yujin’s wrist as he tried to walk in the opposite direction from me.
“Yujin.”
“… Why?”
“Did you remember everything like I did? Things you like, hobbies, etc.”
“Even though I hated it so much and couldn’t understand why I married this person, it all came to me naturally. I didn’t like that a little bit.”
“You were just like me.”
“Still, it was nice to be called by your name. Because it’s been so long.”
“Yes, I did that too.”
“I’ll go. Take care, Yuchan oppa.”
With only those words left behind, Shin Yujin shook off my hand and walked away.
Shin Yu-jin’s last words constantly lingered in my ears.
For those of us who find it rather awkward to call each other’s names as a couple.
It was such a powerful word.
I think about 5 minutes have passed since Shin Yujin left.
I also walked to my room.
The reason I grabbed Shin Yujin’s wrist wasn’t to ask such a simple question.
Lastly, I wanted to apologize.
I wanted to apologize for the sentiment I expressed when I said I didn’t know why I got married.
But until the end, that apology didn’t come out of my mouth.
If I had said that one thing, I think it would have led to a better breakup.
As we start living new lives with each other.
I guess there’s no need to worry anymore.
***
I thought it was a dream. I hoped it was a dream.
The moment I returned to the room I lived in as a college student in a house where I had been living with a man until yesterday.
I hoped it was a dream, but it was too stark a reality to think that way.
While I was unable to accept what had happened, I received a call from Yerim.
I heard that there was an appointment scheduled for a date.
The moment I heard about that promise.
I realized it instinctively.
What kind of person will you meet and what kind of time will you spend at that appointment?
I arrived at the meeting place with many guesses in my head, and my guesses turned into certainty.
“Ah, yes. Ah, hello. My name is Han Yu-chan.”
It was definitely a familiar face, but within that familiarity, there was something very unfamiliar.
Clear skin, objectively handsome appearance, broad shoulders and tall height.
I saw 23-year-old Han Yu-chan, and I understood why I, who was 20 at the time, developed a crush on him.
The low-pitched voice that makes people’s ears perk up could never be ignored.
I began to suspect that Han Yu-chan might have ended up in the same time as me, 14 years ago.
To find out, I copied the actions I remembered from my 20-year-old self.
I was still not sure.
“What are you going to drink, Yu-chan?”
“I will drink Americano.”
“Well, I… ”
“Cappuccino.”
As I told him what type of coffee I liked, my guess became more and more certain.
As we were talking, I thought it was still too early to tell.
While talking about me, Han Yu-chan’s expression caught my eye.
They’re just asking me questions and responding to my answers.
It seemed as if he was answering as I was answering and saying that what he thought was correct.
Even though we spent a worse time than hell, fighting every single day and arguing over even the smallest things.
Why does Han Yu-chan remember everything about me?
It was just a question.
But it was the same for me too.
When Han Yu-chan tried to say something about himself, he was already spitting out an answer in his mind.
Then, I couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I spit it out.
Since our relationship started to deteriorate, I have been thinking that I don’t love that person. And I thought that that person wouldn’t love me either.
As we see expressions on each other’s faces that make it seem like they know everything about each other.
I began to guess that maybe, even though we fought and had such bad times, we still loved each other.
I didn’t think anything special about it because I knew it was meaningless anyway.
At some point, it felt like he was looking at my hands closely, but who knew it might have been because of my hand habits.
-Wheee!! Wow!!
When I was almost arriving home, I got a call from Yerim.
“Yes, Yerim.”
[What happened with Yuchan? Did it go well?]
“Uh… First of all, we decided to keep in touch. He seemed like a good person.”
[I decided to date Hojin oppa today!! Hojin oppa confesses right away, right?]
“You told me about Hojin before. Everything I like is evident.”
[is it? Anyway, I think I’ll be going in late today. Sleep first!!]
“Okay, have fun and come back.”
Unlike us, Hojin and Yerim are in the same mood as they were 14 years ago.
From what I remember, back then, just like now, I remember bragging that we were dating when we first met and not coming home until late.
At that time, I stayed in touch with Han Yu-chan and spent time at home without feeling lonely.
I feel like I will have to spend my time in solitude this time.
“We live together, and one of our friends is a couple. If this is the case, what should I do now?”
When I got home, I put my bag down and threw myself on the bed.
I don’t know why I did this, but I looked closely at the wrist that Han Yu-chan was holding.
A wrist where his warmth still remains. A warmth that should be familiar, but feels unfamiliar.
The moment Han Yu-chan grabbed my wrist.
I might have been hoping to tell you a little bit.
Let’s start again. Even if something like that happened, let’s fix it again from the beginning.
But I never heard those words.
Well, as we start living new lives with each other.
I guess there’s no need to worry anymore.
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