episode_0023

I had ridden the trail several times in my previous life.

The Etgard family was wealthy, so there was no need to be concerned about riding the trail a few times.

I remember going on a trail date right after we got engaged… I wanted to make a good impression on Lizley.

It was when the trail had just opened, and it became a trend for anyone with money to ride it.

There was still a time when Lizley and I spoke formally to each other.

‘Um… Miss Lizley? Would you perhaps like to take a family trip on the trail this time? I hear it’s quite popular these days…!’

‘….Do as you… wish….’

I bought tickets, meals, and even prepared conversation topics to try and match Lizley’s mood.

Lizley, who had just gotten engaged to me, always looked gloomy and seemed to be in a bad mood.

Of course, Father clicked his tongue, asking if I was already being controlled by a woman, but then he just let it go, saying, ‘Well, it’s good if he’s a romantic like me…’

I don’t fail to understand why she kept showing her displeasure in front of me back when she was engaged to me.

Whatever it was, being engaged to some commoner boy she didn’t know at all, as if sold off because her family had no money, probably wasn’t pleasant.

Even the tactless me at the time was fully aware of why Lizley was in a bad mood, so I tried my best to do well.

I shouldn’t have.

I didn’t know then that someone who constantly expressed their bad mood more than necessary, no matter how bad they felt, wasn’t being honest but was rather looking down on me.

Time circled back like a round-trip train, returning from the past to the future, then back to the past again.

And this new train journey, after living one life, was honestly enjoyable.

“Ras~ Have you tried acorn jelly? Teacher-nim quite likes it. The sauce is exotic and delicious. It fills you up without making you gain weight. Say ah~”

“Nom..!”

To make my acting more realistic, I raised my body temperature, making me naturally limp, and Rosalie was taking care of me very meticulously.

It was truly beautiful how she bought a lot of delicious food, put it directly into my mouth, and kept talking about things so I wouldn’t get bored.

So, it was as if I was on a date with a beautiful older sister who bought tickets, fed me, and kept talking next to me.

The train had already left the city and was speeding through open countryside.

The fields, trees, rivers, and tunnels flashing by were as swift as time.

“Z..z…z….”

Rosalie, who had been chattering with her pretty mouth for a long time, eventually nodded off and fell asleep.

Even if she pretended to be fine, Rosalie’s physical condition must be a mess right now.

From last Wednesday to Saturday, she hadn’t properly rested because she was taking care of me.

Although she probably got some rest yesterday, a single day of deep sleep wouldn’t be enough to fully recover from her fatigue.

I already knew that the divine power of the Heavenly God was a force that placed a tremendous burden on its user.

That’s why priests of the Heavenly God sect avoided overworking their bodies like Rosalie, and in fact, it was physically impossible for most ordinary priests to do so.

“Hmmph…. no… be careful of Isera….”

Rosalie, muttering some incomprehensible sleep talk, seemed to have met Professor Isera in her dream.

It was truly bitter to think that before my regression, this beautiful and kind woman had met the most futile death in the world.

On a battlefield far removed from the Leon she loved so much, without any connection to it.

“This time, I’ll try my best to prevent that from happening… I don’t know how yet, but…”

I sat down next to Rosalie, who was groaning and shaking her head, and let her lean her head on me.

Her restless head soon settled, and Rosalie fell asleep, breathing softly and beautifully.

Was it because I ate so well? Or because the head resting on my shoulder was warm? Soon after, my eyelids grew heavy too.

As if sleep had spread, we both began to nap peacefully.

*

The battlefield gathers all sorts of individuals who reek of death.

There’s the guy who loves food, the guy with a fiancée back home, the guy who lives caring for his elderly mother, the guy whose younger sister is getting married soon…

The guy chattering in front of me was named Hasler.

This guy supported his elderly mother and his sister who was soon to be married, and he also had a fiancée back home.

He even loved food so much that he’d stick close to me, looking around to see if there was anything he could snatch a bite of.

He was a guy whose every characteristic strongly reeked of death, yet he bothered me by clinging to my side and following me around.

I kept him around like a totem, feeling that if I traveled with him, death would somehow be drawn to him instead of me.

Anyway, it was a mutually beneficial relationship, but there was another way he was useful to me.

I don’t know where he heard them, but he was incredibly good at bringing back rumors.

Was it because he had big ears and could hear well?

Just like now.

“Ras, did you hear that rumor?”

“A rumor?”

He made a secretive hand gesture and leaned in close to me.

Sometimes I wanted to hit him because he had bad breath when he did that, but if I did, I’d die… so I just pushed his head away.

“The rumor that the ‘Special Task Force’ finally succeeded in breaking through into the Kingdom of Azulda.”

“How would I know something like that? No, where on earth do you pick up military secrets?”

How did this guy, who was just conscripted, know about the Special Task Force infiltrating an enemy nation?

We weren’t even a proper regular unit of Sephiroth.

After all, we were a meat-shield unit made up of criminals.

“Heh heh… you’re not very interested in how the world works. Don’t you know about the Hero and the Saintess? This isn’t really a secret anymore; the Special Task Force story was even in the newspapers.”

He pulled a tattered newspaper scrap from his pocket and waved it in front of my eyes.

Special Task Force or not, Hero, Saintess… I frowned at the parade of old-fashioned, tacky names.

“Hero? Saintess? What is that, some children’s fairy tale? How tacky.”

“They are women who were appointed and active right after the war with Azulda. They’re war heroes promoted by the Empire and the Church.”

Hero, Saintess… protagonists that used to appear in fairy tales and novels I read as a child.

Heroes who, by the will and command of the Heavenly God, would save the world from evil when it fell into crisis….

It’s ridiculous.

What kind of ‘world crisis’ and ‘evil’ is there, when it’s just a paltry war with the Kingdom of Azulda?

It’s just a grand excuse for a territorial dispute, a power struggle, a dog-eat-dog fight.

The different races that make up the Kingdom of Azulda are only called ‘demons’ from the human perspective; they’re actually similar to humans.

They are just strong, possess powerful magic, have strong pride, and enjoy bloody battles.

Anyway, that pretty much applies to humans too.

While those called demons are individually strong and few in number, humans balance this out by swarming like ants.

So, in terms of wickedness, the Sephiroth Empire would be the most evil on the Western Continent.

Because the Sephiroth Empire is a large landmass with a large population, it’s also where wicked people shamelessly swarm.

With a bastard worse than me, the king of the underworld who completely took over its back alleys, sitting on the throne as emperor….

Shaking my head… no wonder the world is ending.

In front of me, Hasler was earnestly rattling on about those idiots called the Hero and the Saintess.

They aren’t heroes; they’re merely pawns of this vast nation and its corresponding religion, shedding blood and being overworked.

They’re already gaining so much popularity? Once the war ends, the emperor will probably just purge them.

Leontidas never leaves behind any threats that could endanger him.

“There’s another reason people are so incredibly enthusiastic..! Both the Hero and the Saintess are said to be such beauties. They say their beauty could topple nations. Even more so than the Empress of the Sephiroth Empire.”

The Empress of the Sephiroth Empire…. That means Lizley, my damned fiancée.

Ah, no matter where I go, I can never be truly free from your story.

Just hearing that name makes my heart heavy and my stomach queasy.

When will I ever be able to break free from the spell of Lizley?

“Come to think of it… didn’t you say you used to attend Leon? Then you might know the Saintess. Since you’re from the same place.”

This time, Hasler’s information was quite intriguing.

A Saintess from Leon? Was there anyone from the Church among my classmates?

He handed me the old newspaper and said.

“Here, this is the newspaper article. Do you happen to know her? Though there’s quite an age difference, so maybe not?”

“…..”

As I read through the article, the name that appeared was Rosalie Berhart.

It was a name I shouldn’t have forgotten, yet I had somehow forgotten it while defiling myself over the years.

Someday, if I ever escape this wretched battlefield, I want to find her and repay her kindness.

The person who desperately pieced together my damned life to keep it from ending.

The person who received no reward, but simply took pity on me and tried to heal me.

The person who made me experience firsthand that, no matter what, being alive was better than being dead.

It enraged me that such a good person, who had apologized to me until the very end for not being able to properly heal me, had ended up becoming a pawn in this hellish battlefield.

Whether a meat shield or a pawn, it wasn’t something a good person like her should be doing, unlike a villain like me….

A life goal that I had forgotten for a while now resurfaced.

If I returned alive, I would go to her and give her a deep bow of gratitude.

And, if possible, to pull her out of this damned country before she got caught in the whirlpool of higher-ups.

Somehow, it felt like if I survived this dog-eat-dog battlefield, I would be able to meet her again.

……

However, my wish was not granted, and my always-wrong premonition was, once again, wrong.

“Saintess Rosalie? She died. Wasn’t she a war hero during the all-out war between Azulda and Sephiroth? They say she cut off the head of the one who called himself ‘Demon King’ but died herself. Do you know her?”

A few years later, captured as a prisoner of war in the conflict with Azulda and sold to the Kashmere arena, I received news of Rosalie Berhart.

She died without being able to conclude the war with Azulda.

Even if she was a hero or a good person, it seemed a futile death was unavoidable.

“…Let’s do another round. What is it today?”

“Today it’s a Manticore and a Minotaur. Your fights are popular, but be careful not to die. If you die, it’s all over.”

“Don’t worry. Today I’ll be a bit less wild and more docile.”

I spoke calmly to the manager, igniting a slightly quieter and more subdued flame in my heart than usual.

A flame for mourning should not be too fierce.

*

“…..Ah… it was just a dream…”

I awoke from that hellish dream.

I relived in my dream that time before my return, when Rosalie had met a futile death.

“Ras, are you awake?”

“Ah… I’m sorry. I was going to lend you my shoulder when you fell asleep, but… I ended up being indebted to you instead…”

Rosalie, who had woken up mid-sleep, seemed to have laid me on her thigh and put me back to sleep.

No wonder it felt so comfortable, like a pillow.

“It’s fine, Ras, your head is light~ But surprisingly, you even talked in your sleep, which was cute. Did you meet Teacher-nim in your dream? You kept calling out a name~”

“…?? I did that?”

I did dream of Rosalie, but I didn’t call out a name like that.

Did I call out a name aloud while dreaming?

My face turned slightly red from embarrassment.

“Your voice sounded a little wistful, so Teacher-nim felt a bit fluttery?”

Rosalie’s expression, as she smiled brightly and stroked me, somehow seemed a little happier than usual.

As expected, that smile suits our Rosalie best.

“Um… can I sleep like this for a little longer?”

“Of course.”

Listening to her gentle voice, I fell asleep again.

This time, it was a sleep without any dreams.