episode_0051

For me, all seasons were winter.

The only time I saw snow falling in my life was when I was a child, and I never knew anything about cold.

When I was sitting in a dark room, I felt like a cold wind was blowing.

‘I don’t want to do anything.’

Leasian could not find any value in his life.

Even living without paying attention to anything is meaningless.

Sometimes I want to die like this. I suffered from the urge to end everything.

But the reason why I’m still alive like this… This may be because there is no motivation to carry out even that.

‘If only I had died naturally… … .’

At some point, an indelible shadow appeared under her eyes.

The more I blinked my light brown eyes, which were as dull as a dry wilderness, the clearer the shadow became.

Before I knew it, I couldn’t sleep.

There was a lot more time to bruise.

Sometimes her mother’s curse whispered in her ear and tormented her.

All Rheasian could do was struggle even though he was in pain.

Because I’m not in a position to ask anyone for help.

‘I can’t trust anyone.’

Father, Ilho, and the other servants are all part of the same group.

Even though they clearly saw themselves being abused by their mother, they just watched.

It was only after their mother passed away that they began to untie their arms… Even if I did that now, I wasn’t happy at all.

So I chose to lock myself in this deep, dark room.

‘This place… Still, it’s just me.’

He leaned his face diagonally on his arms raised over his legs.

When I was doing this, strangely enough, my ears were blocked by my forearms and I could hear my heart pounding.

Rheasian liked this posture and hearing such words because it felt like it was the only evidence that proved his existence.

‘Oh my, I’m still alive…’ .’

There is no place in the world to place one’s heart.

Even he was so bad that he suffered from auditory hallucinations of his mother tormenting him every night.

I realize once again that I am alive without any problems.

‘Why on earth… … .’

Resentment turns into a single tear and falls on my forearm.

Drop, drop… The depth of her resentment was unfathomable.

Then one day.

That day was a day when frost surrounded my skin.

smart.

It was cold, but it was still better than outside, and Leasian flinched at the sound of the knock that broke it.

When she woke up, her face was so cold that it looked like something was going to happen.

“Lady. The therapist is here.”

‘Therapist?’

Leasian twitched his eyebrows.

Therapist… They were really useless guys.

Because they treated themselves as patients even though they were not sick and tried to treat them.

She had long since grown tired of those healers.

So the response was not positive.

“Excuse me.”

Crackle, crunch… Crash.

As soon as the door opened, I threw the vase I was holding with all my might.

Hiss – Boom!

It’s not even a clang.

The vase, which barely missed Ilho, must have been hit so hard that it shattered and rolled on the floor.

Even though his situation was dangerous just a moment ago, Ilho spoke quietly without changing his expression.

“Lady. The habit of throwing things is bad.”

“Get out!!”

Leasian was heated by the sight of him speaking quietly.

Up until now, I’ve just been watching, so what now?

Trying to discipline Ilho was proof that Ilho didn’t know his subject for a long time.

That was when she was glaring at him fiercely for a long time.

“Are you okay?”

From the stranger’s voice coming from behind Ilho, Leasian could easily tell that it was the therapist he had brought in this time.

‘How will that guy look at me this time?’ .’

The sympathetic gaze we’ve seen so many times before?

The business-like guys I often saw before were a hundred times better.

At least… Because they did not blindly sympathize without knowing the circumstances.

Ilho glanced behind him and turned slightly to the side.

“I’m fine. By the way, lady. There is no problem with this for me, but the new therapist is weak. Please be careful… ”

“I told you to get out! Get out!!”

I tried to shout in a new voice, but I was out of breath, probably because it had been so long since I used my throat.

He ended up throwing objects around to warn others.

However, Ilho caught them skillfully and did not suffer any damage or retreat.

“Please wait a moment.”

Rather, he confidently entered the room and headed towards the candlelight.

As if this happens often, he skillfully located the candle and lit it.

“Ugh… .”

Rheasian frowned at the unfamiliar flame.

It took some time for eyes accustomed to the dark to adjust to the light.

When I finally opened my eyes like that.

I made eye contact with an unfamiliar man.

His eyes were like warm sunlight.

It did not shine too burdensomely or so weakly that it was unrecognizable.

She was embarrassed because she had never seen eyes like this before.

‘what… .’

Is that why?

Rarely did a pure question come out before harsh words.

“You… Who is it?”

“… … .”

He didn’t answer.

Before, it was a daily routine of ignoring me.

There is nothing new about it.

however… Why?

I felt strange being ignored by a strange man in front of me.

This guy is just the same… , all you have to do is move on.

I had to ask again.

“Who are you?”

Only then did I hear an answer in a slightly sharp voice.

“I… This is the person who came to treat the young lady.”

“Treatment?”

It was already expected.

however… This time I felt strange again.

It would be enough to just kick him out without a big deal, but he even speaks softly.

“… There’s no need for that, so get out quickly. No. 1. Take that guy out.”

After saying that, a belated regret came over me.

what? Why do I regret it? why?

It was confusing. Even though there was probably no reason for that, it was difficult to understand my own feelings at all.

He even gently brushed off this cold treatment.

With the same smiling face.

As usual, Ilho did not take her side this time either.

“Sorry. Miss.”

“… Hello!”

“I apologize for not being able to refuse as it is the owner’s order.”

The moment Rheasian was about to say something more.

I don’t know how I knew, but Ilho quickly closed the door and left.

There was an awkwardness in the air as it was just the two of them.

Leasian was not happy to be alone with a stranger.

Part of it was because I was shy, but the main reason was that I didn’t like the other person.

‘however… ‘What on earth is the reason?’

Rheasian didn’t particularly like him.

This was something that was rare even for her.

These past few years have been unprecedented, with thorns growing like a hedgehog.

However, she was also immature at expressing her feelings.

So even if you don’t really feel that way, you’re just pretending to be cold.

“You… don’t think about treating me. Because I’m going to die like this.”

I thought it was too cold. The content was sincere.

therapy? I have absolutely no desire or will to receive anything like that.

I’d rather die like this.

Of course, I thought this would be very difficult for a strong body.

His expression was colorful as he listened to Rheasian’s words.

A look of surprise appeared at her firm declaration, but it gradually turned into sadness.

‘under… okay. It’s no different for you.’

Pity without reason.

It was one of her least favorite things.

The emotions that had been suppressed in my heart began to boil over.

Then.

He suddenly shook his head.

Then, when he looked again, there wasn’t even a trace of sympathy to be found on his face.

Just like before, he only had a benevolent expression.

‘… what?’

“Lady. Please excuse me for a moment.”

The man who had been in front of the door the whole time after entering her room moved.

Rheasian shouted at him as he approached me, as if he couldn’t figure it out.

“No need! Why don’t you listen to me? Listening to your father so well?”

After speaking, I felt a little sad.

Because she knew that even this man who came to this room for the first time would not be on her side.

however…

“Lady. I’m not doing this because I listened to my father’s orders.”

“What? Do not lie. Do I look foolish enough to believe that?”

It’s a blatant lie.

An obvious lie to calm myself for a moment while running wild like a colt.

As I thought about that, my eyes became wet.

Leasian was resentful of himself.

Even though I know these facts, I find myself being fooled by such words.

He spoke with benevolent but firm eyes at the same time.

“Although it is true that I was forced to come here, and it is true that I am here by order from your father… ”

‘Then that’s right… .’

It was a moment when I couldn’t help but laugh out of frustration.

He continues.

“I’m here because I want to get to know you.”

“… What?”

Leasian’s reaction was blank, like a person who heard something nonsense.

Kamiel spoke as if to drive a wedge into the void of such thoughts.

“Can you be my friend?”

“… … .”

She slowly raised her lowered head.

The unwieldy hair that was blocking my vision fell like waves.

Even though I knew that the look in his light brown eyes was a lie. It was something I wanted to believe in at least once.

I don’t know if it was the candlelight or what, but at this moment, her eyes were shining.