episode_0056

056 – The Solution to the Problem is Unexpectedly Close By!

In life, there are times when one is entrusted with a task far too overwhelming for one’s own abilities. A task that is not only overwhelmingly large but also must not fail.

At such times, people typically exhibit behavior that can be divided into five stages:

First, Denial. “You mean I have to explain the effectiveness of the Nymph Quota System in front of the executives? Haha, that must be a lie. How could I, not even Section Chief Hector-nim, take on such an important responsibility?”

Second, Anger. “Damned Nymphs! I told you nothing good comes from getting involved with Nymphs!”

Third, Bargaining. “Admetus ssi! Please move just one item to the surface for me. It’s a carrier bag, about the size to fit one person. I’ll give you as much money as you want… What? You can’t because security has been strengthened?”

Fourth, Depression. “What the heck. This life is ruined.”

Fifth, Acceptance. “What the hell, I’ll just try it.”

I just slept and woke up. Suddenly, I was in a situation where I had to expound on the advantages of the Nymph Quota System in front of stern executives.

The problem was, I had no idea what the good points of the Nymph Quota System even were. It was unavoidable for my emotional state to fluctuate wildly.

This was the first time something like this had happened since I put on scuba gear and jumped into the ocean to remove barnacles clinging to Professor Jusu’s yacht, only to encounter a school of sharks and have to swim away to the Pacific Ocean.

‘Calm down. It could even be a good opportunity, couldn’t it?’

If I showed a clumsy performance in front of the executives, my performance review would definitely hit rock bottom instantly. Then, dismissal and demotion would feel close enough to grasp.

But there was a point I needed to be careful about here. Crossing the line between ‘clumsiness’ and ‘incompetence’ could lead to things like the following:

—Joy! Did you waste our precious time just so we could listen to such a clumsy presentation?! —Everyone, let’s beat that guy up! —Become a hell cockroach, Zap!

If I wasn’t careful, I might not just be dismissed but completely dismantled.

Therefore, for this presentation, I absolutely had to put on a plausible appearance to some extent. To do so, I first needed to think of something that could be called an advantage of the Nymph Quota System.

What could be the advantages of Nymphs?

“Advantages of Nymphs, you say. Deputy Manager Joy-nim, are you asking me, a Nymph, that? It’s a bit embarrassing to say that myself.”

Siren Rilke ssi awkwardly scratched the back of her head. When it came to talking openly about Nymphs, there was no one like Rilke ssi. Krauser’s ex-lover, Euriol ssi, was too much of a hipster, making communication difficult. As for Carnoy—

“This Carnoy doesn’t know what’s what, but beating the drums wildly is enjoyable! In that sense, let’s dance the Nymph dance of joy!”

Thump-thump-!

Carnoy just didn’t get it. What about Peranoi, Prince Zagreus’s secretary and the unofficial powerful Nymph of the safety management team?

“Mwahaha, Nymphs are excellent and superior folk as native fairies! Our Nymphs are incomparably superior to foreign elves! There’s no particular basis for that, though!”

They were just so full of groundless confidence. In that respect, Siren Rilke ssi was an easy person to ask about Nymph advantages.

Soon, Rilke ssi sat astride a recording studio chair, muttering “hmm” and sinking into thought.

“The advantages of Nymphs….”

“You can speak comfortably. Even minor things are fine.”

“Ah! If it’s an advantage, it must be that. They seem very wary, but in reality, even if you’re just a little nice to them, they quickly fall for it, so they’re easy to seduce! Because of that, many Nymphs fell prey to men.”

“…….”

Is that an advantage? More than anything, I was terrified of what repercussions I would face if I presented such a thing as an advantage of the Nymph Quota System.

It was then.

—Panting, panting…!

The cute married ghost, Alcestis ssi, came to the recording studio. Next to her was Echo ssi, Deputy Manager Narcissus’s housemate.

—Panting, panting…!

Echo ssi, who used sign language, and Alcestis ssi, who used ghost language. Soon, Euriol, who had been listening to our conversation indifferently, stood up.

“I don’t know what either of them is saying.”

Euriol pressed her forehead against Alcestis ssi’s. About ten seconds passed.

“You’re saying there’s a huge commotion because hell cockroaches are swarming everywhere in front of the office, right?”

I was surprised. It was amazing that Euriol was so knowledgeable in ghost language.

“Did you learn ghost language?”

“No. Nymphs living in Soul Society like me can roughly understand the thoughts of ghosts if we press our foreheads against theirs.”

Why? Suddenly, I remembered that Melinoye nim had pressed her forehead against Alcestis ssi’s and recognized her name. I had thought it was a unique feature of Melinoye nim, the Goddess of Ghosts.

‘Was it actually a common Nymph skill?’

My knowledge of Nymphs was growing again. If I had written something like this in my thesis during graduate school, I would have opened new horizons in academia.

“This Carnoy likes beating up hell cockroaches!” “Let’s catch all those despicable cockroaches!”

Whoosh-!

The Nymphs began to run somewhere. They pounced towards the hell cockroaches that were swarming and overflowing outside E&S’s entertainment agency.

“It’s the Nymph Secret Technique, Wild Beating!” “Let’s do it!”

Thump-thump-thump-thump-.

The Nymphs hit the hell cockroaches with their fists. Then, an astonishing thing happened.

—Squeak. —Squeaaak!

The hell cockroaches, which had been leisurely roaming around, not even afraid of people, like pigeons dominating a park, began to run away as if they were mice who had seen a tiger.

Seeing that sight, Arachne ssi was greatly impressed.

“Although not as much as wolf spiders, Nymphs certainly have a knack for hunting hell cockroaches.”

Come to think of it, when Melinoye nim came to our house, she also easily caught a large ‘executive-level cockroach’ by hitting it with her hand. This also seemed to be a common Nymph skill, not a Goddess’s special privilege.

At that moment, an idea flashed in my mind as if lightning had struck. Perhaps I could get fired without being completely dismantled!

# # #

The conference room where the extraordinary general meeting of shareholders was being held.

A man wearing a skull like a crown was seated there. His eye-light was an eerie purple.

[Adjustment Manager] [The Final Interviewer of Incompetent Idiots] [God of Ruin and Destiny – Morose]

He was Morose.

Along with his siblings Keres and Thanatos, he was revered from ancient times as one of the Three Death Gods who governed death. What he symbolized was the inevitable death and ruin that humans would experience.

So, making use of that specialty, he was in charge of ‘Executive in charge of Adjustments’ at the company. The chief executive who decided on demotions and dismissals. The horror and final destination for a useless employee was precisely Morose. His authority was so powerful that if there was an employee he decided to demote or dismiss, it was difficult for even the great chairman to object.

Therefore, he was considered a key figure of the ‘Night Faction,’ along with the Audit Team and Thanatos.

“After five minutes pass, everything will be decided.”

That man’s mood was very uncomfortable right now. In a difficult situation where he was burdened with processing piled-up work—and on top of that, he had to be gathered to listen to a ridiculous joke like the Nymph Quota System.

Although he didn’t say it, the expressions of the other executives weren’t very bright either.

‘Princess Melinoye, Prince Zagreus, to squander an opportunity barely gained by making such a misstep!’

Morose pitied and at the same time scoffed at Melinoye, who sat calmly far away. To insist on something like the Nymph Quota System as a plan to save Soul Society in crisis! Moreover, to entrust such an important presentation to a mere mortal!

Morose thought it was well-timed.

‘Deputy Manager Joy. A man frequently talked about among the executives recently. In my opinion, that man’s performance seems to be overrated.’

He thought there was a need to make ‘adjustments’ depending on the outcome of this presentation.

‘If things go wrong, I should consider demotion or dismissal. Also, if he ridicules and makes a fool of our executives with clumsy lies and deceptions, I must consider turning him into a hell cockroach.’

The executives’ attitude had become thoroughly prickly. They seemed to say, “Go on, try to show off. We will evaluate it thoroughly and coldly.”

In the past, Alecto, the ruthless Goddess of Fury and Vengeance, would have been like that too. But in the past few days, the amazing results Deputy Manager Joy showed shook Alecto’s heart.

‘Deputy Manager Joy, I know now that you are competent, but isn’t this stage too early for you? A presentation at a general meeting of shareholders is a difficult position even for executives.’

If he, who had already become a key figure of the Audit Team, fell here, it would be a great loss for the Audit Team. Indeed, the eye-light of Adjustment Manager Morose glowed purple, looking as if he was determined to find every fault and pick every quarrel.

In this situation, Alecto poked Melinoye’s side.

“Melly, wouldn’t it be better to say it was a joke, even now? You might lose face for a moment, but you could prevent a great loss, couldn’t you?”

If this presentation failed, Melinoye would have to give up all her shares. Then, it would become difficult for her to even participate in executive meetings. A god who became like that would gradually be forgotten and fall into decline. All gods feared being forgotten the most.

But Melinoye remained calm.

“Joy never does anything that would cause me harm. He follows and worships me. That’s why I trust Joy.”

As she said that, Melinoye’s foot wiggled a little under the table. Of course, no one noticed.

5 seconds, 4 seconds, 3 seconds-. When the countdown to the presentation start time began.

1 second.

Clunk-.

The conference room door opened and a man entered. At his appearance, walking in with his back straight and entering confidently, some executives were impressed.

“The mortal has no fear, indeed.” “Should I praise him just for not running away?” “Well, let’s watch what he’ll babble about next.”

Thud-.

Joy checked the paper he brought. Could it be a presentation script?

“I won’t even need to look at something like this.”

Flap-!

Joy scattered it into the air. It was when everyone held their breath at his amazing, disrespectful, and bold performance.

Deputy Manager Joy wrote large letters on a wide board.

[Ghostification] [Hell Cockroach Uprising]

“The big problems of Soul Society, in my opinion, are precisely these two. If these two things can be dealt with first, the fluctuating stock prices caused by the rebels will also stabilize.”

At this moment, Morose, the man who had been the most indifferent in this place, was greatly surprised.

‘To pinpoint the two eternal difficult problems of our Soul Society so accurately!? This was also a Level 0 confidential matter, only allowed to be mentioned to executives. How did that guy find that out?’

But at the same time, a cynical thought made Morose’s mouth relax into a sneer.

‘A difficult problem is a difficult problem precisely because it cannot be solved.’

Ghostification and Hell Cockroach Uprising were problems that had troubled Soul Society for a long time, and no one had been able to solve them. There was no way a mere mortal like him could present a solution to such problems—.

“But if you hire a lot of Nymphs, everything will be solved. Because Nymphs have the ability to converse with ghosts, they can communicate with them. They also chase hell cockroaches well. That is all.”

It was unbelievable.

Nymphs.

Just Nymphs?

At this point, the chairman, who had endured a long silence, opened his mouth.

“Trial implementation period: one week. Let’s try a pilot operation by employing short-term contract Nymphs in each institution. But if the Nymphs fail to produce any results, you will have to be prepared.”

“…Please!”