episode_0022

022 – If You Can’t Enjoy It, Go Crazy # 1

The “Happy World” concert a few days ago was an unprecedented success since the company’s founding.

The announcement of the new song “Happy World” not only precisely targeted the hearts of those picky executives but also drew out and eliminated the rebels hidden throughout the slums.

‘No, why on earth doesn’t a concert held on the street fail?’

At this point, I was starting to fear myself.

Why do only these kinds of things keep happening to me?

‘Ah, I don’t want to go to work.’

If I go to the company, everyone will praise my achievement, my performance evaluation will skyrocket, and they’ll dump a ton of incredible work on me again.

In that case, I will get a few steps further away from my dream of changing jobs from this “Happy World” that is a hellish grind.

‘Today, I’ll just be late.’

An overt lateness.

Today, I just wanted to be late for no particular reason.

I thought that if I didn’t do something like that, I wouldn’t be able to lower my performance evaluation, which had risen as high as the pride of Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty.

So, it was when I strolled into the office, dawdling until it was almost lunchtime.

“Jo-Joy, Section Chief, at this hour…”

“You… why are you here now…”

Department Head Bones and Markius looked at me, their faces tinged with shock.

I thought it was because I was late, but Department Head Bones said something strange.

“Today is your reward leave day, isn’t it! To think there’s someone who comes to work on their day off! I’ve been with this company for a long time, but I’ve never seen such a dedicated person as you!”

Reward leave?

I wondered what on earth he was talking about.

After even the masterstroke concert succeeded, these past few days, I was so wronged and furious that I couldn’t focus on work and had let most tasks go.

In other words, I was engaging in my own slowdown.

That was also the reason I had deliberately neglected to check documents and internal communications sent to me.

If a problem occurred because I hadn’t checked important documents or papers, I was planning to say, “Oh dear, this happened because I neglected my work, so I’ll take responsibility!”

But now that I looked, among these documents was an award certificate.

“Certificate of Commendation”

“Commended for becoming a role model for other employees.”

It was so dazzlingly bright, as if made of pure gold, that it truly made me want to scream in horror.

Ever since I became an excellent employee, I utterly detested gold.

Also enclosed was a “Reward Leave Order.”

In other words, in terms of dates, it meant I was being forcibly given a reward leave for one week starting today.

That is, I wasn’t late today—

“Wow, you’re truly amazing, Joy! This Markius acknowledges you! A company enthusiast!”

“Section Chief Joy is truly amazing.”

“At this point, isn’t he truly a company fanatic?”

“To come to the company on a day off, even wearing a suit… even the executives wouldn’t do that…”

Aaaaargh!!!!

I wanted to scream in such a happy mood.

But it was frustrating that I didn’t even have the energy left to do that.

“…I’ll return the reward leave.”

I barely recovered my energy and managed to utter only the words about returning the reward leave.

At that, Department Head Bones, with his gaunt face, was sweating cold.

“Wh-why on earth…! Why on earth are you going to such lengths! What on earth is this company to you! What kind of person on earth are you…?!!!”

You ask why I’m returning the leave?

Of course, if I’m at home, nothing will happen.

Somehow, I needed to plunge my elevated performance evaluation into an abyss deeper than Happy World, and to do that, I had to be in the office.

Tears streaming down.

Uncontrollably flowing tears.

Nothing could stop an employee who had even voluntarily returned his leave for such a noble purpose.

From today, I am a devil.

# # #

“Anonymous User: Chicoreta nim, nothing is going right these days.”

“Anonymous User: The things I try to do always fail and I get frustrated.”

“Anonymous User: What should I do?”

└Chicoreta: There’s a saying, ‘If you can’t avoid it, try to enjoy it.’ *^^*

If you can’t avoid it, enjoy it—.

But I was in a situation where I couldn’t even enjoy it.

If I can’t avoid it and it’s even harder to enjoy, what should I do?

‘The only answer is to go crazy.’

I left the office and headed somewhere.

In front of the door that read “Vice President’s Office.”

If it were the old me, I would never have come here.

But Section Chief Joy, who has gone beyond merely enjoying it to going completely crazy, is a different story.

Hwoo—.

Taking a light deep breath, I knocked on the door.

Knock knock knock—.

“This is Section Chief Joy from the Penalty Enforcement Department. I apologize for coming here without an interview request or an appointment, but Vice President nim, may I enter?”

—Come in.

Creak—.

As I opened the door and entered, a rather dim interior came into view.

And Melinoye nim was sitting in a chair that looked like a throne.

Perhaps because the light didn’t come in well, only her laurel wreath and the glow in her eyes were particularly red.

“Section Chief Joy, it’s troublesome to come so abruptly without an interview request. I must have told you before that I have no intention of favoring any specific employee.”

Oh! Did my points get deducted?

“But, thanks to Section Chief Joy’s ‘Happy World Concert,’ I was able to obtain a valuable 1 percent stake. Since I’m in a good mood right now, I’ll let this rudeness pass.”

Blast! Of course!

Furthermore, I don’t know what that story about getting a 1 percent stake because of the concert is, but.

I didn’t particularly want to hear detailed accounts like that.

Because it felt like it would only make me feel bitter.

“In that he made the performance an unprecedented success and largely cleared away even the rebel factions, Section Chief Joy should rather receive a reward. And he must have come to find me because of that.”

Reward? I don’t even wish for such a thing.

If it were normally, I would have said I don’t need such a reward.

“Yes, I desire a reward.”

*Thud*!

I prostrated myself in front of Melinoye nim like a frog preparing to leap.

At that moment, I heard Princess Melinoye nim’s softly leaking murmur from behind my head.

“…As expected.”

“That’s right!”

I, who had entered crazy Joy mode, rather chose a head-on approach.

What if I ended up succeeding because I had decided to fail?

Conversely, if I decide to succeed, I might fail miserably!

*Rustle*—.

Soon, as if she was getting up from her seat,

The sound of soft fabric lightly sliding brushed through the space.

“Then, don’t lift your head and stay just like that for a moment.”

Soon, Princess Melinoye nim walked barefoot—*pat-pat-pat*—across the office floor and placed her hand on my head.

That touch was soft and warm, and in some ways, it was also chilling.

“Well done. This is your reward: being caressed.”

*Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke*—.

“Mortals like you, don’t you consider being caressed by a perfect and mature goddess like me more glorious than any achievement?”

The reward I wished for was not this.

What was more upsetting was that the touch was quite pleasant.

*Stroke, stroke, stroke*—.

And another problem.

The fact that 70% of my bitterness was related to Melinoye nim.

I opened my mouth without lifting my head.

“Melinoye nim, I want to climb higher, faster. Even reckless and impossible-looking tasks are fine. Please give me… more opportunities! That is the reward I desire!”

The reason I came to see Princess Melinoye nim was to get an opportunity.

The chance to fail miserably!

*Whoosh*—.

The hand that was caressing me stopped, and the Princess spoke.

“I understand that desire to stand by my side a little bit faster. But, for the time being, there won’t be such a big project. Therefore, there are no opportunities I can give to Section Chief Joy yet.”

As expected, it’s not easy.

Melinoye nim waved her hand dismissively.

“Then you may leave now. I need to concentrate and meditate a bit to absorb and digest the newly acquired 1 percent stake. Therefore, you won’t be able to meet me for the time being.”

Absorb and digest a stake?

In this “Soul Society,” is a stake something that is swallowed and digested?

“You must absolutely not disturb me during meditation. Absolutely.”

“Alright.”

“So, if you have anything to say, say it now.”

“I have nothing.”

“Really nothing?”

I was curious what kind of system this “stake” in the Soul Society was.

I figured there was no real need to know, so I just kept my mouth shut.

What business would a mortal employee like me, who merely rode the wave of coincidence, have with stakes?

In the end, I had to withdraw without any particular gain, leaving Melinoye nim, who seemed to be sulking for some reason.

But a bag placed on Melinoye nim’s desk was particularly noticeable.

That, it’s exactly the same as the honey candy bag that was at my house.

The one Melinoye nim had said she would throw away instead as she left my house.

Perhaps noticing my gaze, Melinoye nim cleared her throat.

“Ahem, this… I didn’t know where to throw it away, so I just left it here. I absolutely never tasted or ate it, so don’t have unnecessary doubts about your goddess.”

“Then Melinoye nim, should I throw this candy away for you instead?”

“…Do so.”

I left the Vice President’s office, holding the candy bag.

In the end, was all I gained from the Vice President’s office merely the experience of having my head caressed?

‘No! That’s not true!’

The situation was that I had found out there wouldn’t be any big projects in this “Happy World” for the time being.

This was useful information that could be used in many ways.

As I was thinking of several incidents and accidents to cause using this information, I suddenly felt my sugar level drop, so I took out a candy from the bag, put it in my mouth, and crunched it.

It was right then.

“Eating while walking inside the company! 1 penalty point!”

Someone shouted loudly at me.

As I turned my head, the horned devil Astaroth held out a piece of paper towards me.

*Flutter*—.

“1 Penalty Point.”

It felt like getting a parking ticket.

It probably wouldn’t be much different from that.

The employees of the Audit Team are responsible for maintaining public order like police in the Soul Society.

At this moment, a good idea flashed.

While I’m at it, what if I get a lot of penalty points?

“Did you say Asterohte ssi?”

“That’s right. Devil Joy. This concert matter seems to have worked out well somehow, but I’m always keeping an eye on you. If I see anything even slightly suspicious, I’ll bite you without mercy, so look forward to it.”

“Then, do you happen to have time today? I’d like to borrow your day.”

I’ll take the employee called the devil of the Audit Team around with me.

Then there will be many things to get penalty points for, and my performance evaluation will naturally plummet.

But Astaroth blushed.

“What? Borrow my day? I don’t know wh-what your scheme is, but if I looked like such a cheap person that I’d easily fall for it, that’s a miscalculation. I’m, uh… busy…”

“Please! I really want you to come along!”

*Grab*—.

I grabbed Astaroth’s shoulder.

I can’t miss the forelock of the god of opportunity like this!

# # #

Goddess Melinoye fell into meditation.

A stake is a lump of divine power.

To absorb 1 percent of the possibilities held by this Soul Society, Melinoye had to fall into meditation for a few days.

Of course, that fact was a bit frustrating to Melinoye.

‘For other executives, one day would have been enough….’

In fact, Melinoye had one secret she hadn’t revealed to others.

Perhaps it could even be called a ‘weakness’.

‘Perhaps I was pushed out in the succession structure by a bungler like Zagreus because of that weakness….’

Of course, such a weakness could be resolved by taking a large stake and increasing her divine power.

So, before falling into meditation again, Melinoye glanced at the window.

Because she wanted to confirm whether Joy really threw away the candy.

‘I don’t particularly like candy or anything. Just to see if he throws it away properly or not….’

But a strange situation was seen.

“…Joy?”

Wasn’t Joy going somewhere with a horned woman?

*Flare*—!

The goddess’s red gaze exploded like a shot-up flame.