episode_0003

Furuya Takeo

――

I have two best friends. A boy named Hikagami Kyotarou and a girl named Yako Tomoe.

We’ve been together since we were little, but to me, they’re like a younger brother and sister.

Partly because of birthdays, but more than that, Kyotarou was frail, and Tomoe was a bit of a handful, constantly sticking to the two of us, then falling and crying loudly.

Our long-standing friendship from kindergarten continued into elementary school. Around that time, my athletic father took me to begin karate, specifically full-contact karate. It was direct-strike karate without protective gear, painful and the training was tough, so much so that I can’t count how many times I thought about running away.

Tomoe, too, seemed to have started piano at her parents’ suggestion, and she often complained about the long and difficult practice hours. Kyotarou probably had it easiest. However, I once heard from her parents that his family’s father didn’t earn very well, and they didn’t have money for lessons.

It wasn’t that doing lessons made you great; rather, Kyotarou, who did nothing, was someone both of us greatly envied. Sometimes when the three of us got together, we’d go to each other’s houses and spend time as we pleased. I’d show off newly learned techniques and forms, and Tomoe would play the piano to entertain us.

Mainly, I wasn’t interested in piano and just nodded along appropriately.

By the time we entered junior high, Tomoe and I had even less free time. We had club activities, lessons, and even had to study for promotions on our days off. I wanted to give it all up, but I was afraid of my father and couldn’t.

I planned to run away from home several times. But each time, Kyotarou would stop me, laughing, saying, “You should stop.” He’d say, “If you’re going, I’ll go with you, I’m bored anyway.” When he said that, as Kyotarou’s older brother, I couldn’t very well run away.

A best friend, I think, refers to someone like Kyotarou. At least, I thought so, and Kyotarou must have thought so too.

However, at a certain point, Kyotarou gradually began to distance himself from us. I think it was right after we entered high school. Tomoe had also come to ask about him, worried, but from a distance, it looked like Kyotarou had made new friends, and we couldn’t be like we used to be.

There were also juniors at the dojo, and if Tomoe and I didn’t work hard now, we’d experience a future where we’d lose to unseen rivals. To that extent, I was deeply absorbed in karate, and Tomoe was achieving results in piano. Even though I hated it enough to plan running away from home.

“Takeo, you’re dating Yako Tomoe from Class 1, aren’t you?”

That’s what the guy next to me said when we moved up to second year. Even when I said we weren’t dating, he didn’t believe me. Apparently, there was a rumor among the girls that Tomoe and I were an established couple. When I heard it had been going on since our first year, I was frankly dumbfounded.

She’s just a childhood friend; there’s nothing going on with Tomoe. I explained that many times, but it was like pushing on a curtain [proverb: futile effort]. Eventually, I just started nodding along whenever I was asked.

Tomoe and I are childhood friends. But after being told repeatedly by those around me, I gradually found myself believing it. Tomoe might have that childhood friend appeal, but she’s incomparably cuter than any ordinary girl.

I’ve known her personality since we were children. She’s kind, a crybaby, quick-tempered, but her smile is adorable. She’d said before that she learned how to do makeup after starting to enter competitions. And just as she said, Tomoe kept getting more and more beautiful.

Eventually, perhaps out of consideration for my indecisiveness and Tomoe’s unawareness, those around us began actively scheming to bring us together. We’d suddenly find ourselves alone, or when Tomoe and I met, they’d disappear like scattering spiderlings.

It didn’t take long for me to start seeing Tomoe not just as a younger sister, but as a woman. She was that charming, and she was also my emotional support.

“I have something I want to talk about, Takeo-kun, are you free today?”

One day, I was invited by Tomoe and went to her house. Even when I greeted her parents, they accepted me as they always had, saying, “It’s been a while, you’ve grown so much.”

I, too, had many expectations. Since I was invited to her house, I wondered if our relationship would develop into a romantic one. My clothes and cologne were all perfectly chosen, and I’d secretly brought a gift. That day, I hoped I could complete everything I hoped for.

It was then, after entering the room, as we were having a lively but trivial chat.

I noticed Tomoe’s locket, and casually joked about its contents, asking about it. Tomoe said she was too embarrassed to show it, but in my mind, I naturally thought it contained my picture, and that’s what she was embarrassed for me to see.

“…Well then, just for you, Takeo-kun…”

What she showed me inside the locket was a smiling Kyotarou.

Seeing Tomoe say that she liked Kyotarou-kun, that she had loved him ever since elementary school, I remember my heart freezing over to an unbelievable extent.

What was I so elated about? I had completely gotten caught up in the hype from those around me. I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me; Tomoe hadn’t been looking at me for over ten years.

As proof, the photo Tomoe had hidden inside the locket was one I recognized.

That picture was taken at this house, and there should have been three of us in it.

But only Tomoe and Kyotarou were in it.

Only I wasn’t there.

It’s a good thing. I decided to think that. If I had confessed, I would surely have troubled Tomoe. I won’t forgive anyone who makes her cry. As her older brother, it’s my natural duty to protect my younger sister.

Throwing the crushed gift into the river, I mourned the end of a love that hadn’t even begun. It was different from being punched or kicked. It was then that I first realized that emotional pain truly hurts.

From that day forward, I made sure to distance myself from Tomoe.

Tomoe still came to me saying she wanted to talk, but at that time, I was also genuinely busy with promotion exams and tournaments.

…That’s a lie, it’s just a convenient excuse. When I see Tomoe, I realize I haven’t given up on her, and from the bottom of my heart, I hate that about myself.

At this rate, I’ll end up hating both my best friend and my childhood friend.

I don’t want that.

“I’m going to hold a salon concert. I’m going to confess to Kyotarou there. If you can make it, Takeo-kun, I’d like you to come… Is that okay?”

She wanted many people to hear her confession. To Tomoe, who said that, I jokingly asked if she was going to do a flash mob, but she said that wouldn’t be necessary.

I thought that finally, all my lingering doubts would be cleared. Once this concert was over, Kyotarou and Tomoe would officially become a couple, and the two of them would surely live happily ever after.

As her older brother, I would watch from afar. In truth, I wanted to be by Tomoe’s side.

But if I revealed that, everything would break.

Putting on the same clothes I wore that day, I headed to the restaurant.

I didn’t know; I had no idea Kyotarou had rejected Tomoe’s invitation.

Seated in front of the piano, Tomoe was crying, still looking down.

She couldn’t see the sheet music she’d practiced for this day, saying the person she wanted to play for wasn’t here.

In the heavy atmosphere after Tomoe left, her parents went around to each seat and apologized. They even apologized to me, saying, “Takeo-kun, we’re sorry.” It seemed there were some who chastised them, but they simply kept apologizing to them as well.

Because of this incident, Tomoe likely lost credibility in the music world. I understand, as I do karate; a teacher’s trust and reliability are extremely important. Recommendations are vital; without them, there’s even a possibility you can’t take a promotion exam.

In my anger, I called Kyotarou. Seeing Kyotarou’s oblivious expression, his face showing he was fine, I was enraged from the bottom of my heart.

“…That day, Tomoe never played the piano in the end. She said the person she wanted to play for wasn’t there. Even though many teachers had gathered, Tomoe threw everything away for you. You destroyed what Tomoe had built up, staking her life on it!”

I am a cowardly man.

Even though I knew Tomoe’s feelings, I didn’t tell Kyotarou.

And then, I yelled at him, asking why he didn’t notice.

As a result, Tomoe was crying. I was the one who made her cry.

――

Next Episode: ‘Rather than regretting an irreversible past, look to the future. I knew that was impossible.’