episode_0001

My oldest memory is from kindergarten. A faint memory remains in the corner of my mind of Furuya Takehiro, Yako Tomoe, and me running around the kindergarten playground, the three of us playing happily together.

Back then, there was no difference between us.

Since our houses were close, the three of us always acted together, and that didn’t change even when we entered elementary school. Two boys and one girl, I knew that relationship would eventually end.

Apparently, I was the only one troubled by such an uncertain future.

Takehiro has been attending karate since he was little, and now as a high school student, he wears a black belt and excels in various tournaments. Tomoe has been learning piano and English conversation since she was little, participating in recitals and competitions, always returning with some kind of award. She was truly a brilliant young lady.

I have nothing. All I could do, all I have done, is go to the venues to cheer them on and applaud their achievements. I wish I had done something so as not to be outdone by them, but my family didn’t have that luxury… though that’s just an excuse.

The two of them were always shining. Perhaps the only reason I could be with them was because we were childhood friends. Childhood friends… that connection, there’s no particular reason for it. I thought it was very fragile, like a fleeting spider’s thread that could break and vanish at any time.

After graduating from junior high, the three of us went on to Harejima High School, which was within walking distance. The reason was simple: it was close. However, my grades were truly borderline for getting in, so borderline that I still vividly remember Takeo and I practically begging Tomoe for help.

Every morning, we would meet at the same time and always walk to school happily together. Since becoming high school students, it had become our daily routine to commute while complaining to our parents about our future paths, our studies, or how we should be more serious if we wanted to go to university.

Unchanging days, dazzling school uniforms. Tomoe’s uniform was especially dazzling… but I never sensed that either of them noticed my gaze.

“Kyotarou-kun, you shouldn’t get in the way of those two.”

Kyotarou is my name. Hikagami Kyotarou. If you only saw the name, you might imagine me as very talented and with a great physique.

Most people would be disappointed when they saw me. I’m just an ordinary person, exactly as I appear, and in some cases, even below average. My father is just a regular office worker, and my mother is an ordinary person working part-time.

Given who I am, my presence beside Takeo and Tomoe must have seemed like nothing but an annoyance to others. According to strangers, my being between the two of them was nothing but a mass of question marks.

And then I was told those words. I thought so too. If our houses weren’t close, if we weren’t childhood friends, we probably wouldn’t be together.

However, this time, the words carried a different meaning.

“Takeo-kun and Tomoe-san started dating, apparently. So you should distance yourself, shouldn’t you? You’ll have to be more considerate even as friends now.”

Tomoe was my only female friend. It was a female classmate who told me this. On holidays, I would be in the same room as them, ostensibly for a study session. Up until now, there was nothing strange about that, but if they became lovers, that’s a different story.

“I wanted to hear it from them.”

My utmost resistance was merely muttering those words to the sky. All I could do afterward was naturally distance myself from them. The relationship of childhood friends could be easily broken if one wished to break it. We weren’t involved in the same club activities, didn’t share hobbies, nor did we work the same part-time job.

In fact, I started to distance myself from them, but neither Takeo nor Tomoe showed any change. They both had many friends; they didn’t have much free time to begin with. Looking back, perhaps they had been forcing themselves to make time for me all along.

I, in turn, made my own friends and spent my days within a small group.

I would hear about Takeo winning awards in his karate club, or Tomoe winning awards at her piano concerts. I was just one mob character, quietly supporting the unchanging two from the sidelines. This is me. This is fine. I can’t be like them.

Time flows quickly, and it was one day when high school life was about to enter its third year.

“Kyotarou-kun, can I talk to you for a moment?”

It was Tomoe who called out to me. There was no reason to refuse. I silently followed her up the stairs to the deserted rooftop, where she turned to face me.

My eyes were briefly drawn to her softly billowing skirt, but Tomoe, with her shoulder-length hair styled in a rounded fashion, softly spoke, her eyes, shining as they always had, still fixed on me.

“I have a concert coming up. It’s not for a club or a competition. It’s called a salon concert… my parents rented out a restaurant just for me. And I was wondering if Kyotarou-kun would come… are you free this coming Saturday?”

The invitation she handed me had the name of a high-class restaurant I had no connection to, and my name written in Tomoe’s elegant handwriting. With Tomoe’s piano skills, I felt like I should be paying to listen.

“Oh, and of course, since it’s a restaurant, you can also have a meal, so it’s fine if you just come to eat. And Takeo-kun said he’d come, so Kyotarou, you too—”

Not just me. Yeah, of course. The only reason she called out to me was because of the curse of being childhood friends. Even after I distanced myself so much, that curse still tormented Tomoe, and me.

“—Sorry, I have an unavoidable engagement that day. Please invite someone else.”

For a moment, Tomoe’s eyes widened greatly, but she quickly lowered her gaze.

Feeling unbearable, I quickly descended the stairs and returned to the classroom.

The two of them are too dazzling for me; we live in different worlds.

If I stayed with them, I would surely suffer and die.

“Kyotarou, come here for a moment.”

Later, it was Takeo who called me. His tone, laced with a hint of anger, was enough to cause a stir among the surrounding classmates. No one in this school would dare defy the current Takeo. His trained muscles silenced any words. I probably wouldn’t last a single blow.

Coincidentally, the place he led me to was the same staircase leading to the rooftop as with Tomoe.

As soon as he turned around, Takeo grabbed me by the collar, glaring with his brows furrowed in a frown.

“Why didn’t you come that day? It was like the culmination of everything Tomoe had worked hard for. Why didn’t you come? Don’t you understand what Tomoe was working so hard for?!”

His admonishing tone suddenly erupted into a shout. The world felt as if it was trembling, and I shook so much from sheer terror that I couldn’t even speak properly.

“…That day, Tomoe didn’t play the piano after all. She said there was no one she wanted to play for. Even though many teachers had gathered, Tomoe threw everything away for you. You destroyed what Tomoe had built up by dedicating her life to it!”

I thought the relationship of childhood friends was something very fragile and fleeting.

Something that would break easily, weather away, and simply vanish.

But reality, it seemed, was not like that. It was incredibly tenacious, strong enough to destroy everything up to that point, something you couldn’t leave even if you wanted to, something that wouldn’t disappear even if you tried to make it vanish…

I learned it was truly like a curse only after I had failed at everything.

— Next episode: “I didn’t even realize I was causing her suffering.”