episode_0041

Fortunately, Grace was subdued by Ashel’s hand before causing any more of a scene.

Thanks to a magic that appropriately combined hangover magic and sleep magic, which condensed magic power, Grace blinked her eyelids with clear eyes after sleeping for a short time and waking up.

She had clearly chugged over 5 bottles of alcohol like crazy, but her head was not dizzy at all; it was only clear. It seemed even clearer than before she drank.

‘It’s Ashel’s room.’

She could tell immediately by the smell filling the surroundings. Grace unnecessarily brought the blanket she was covering herself with to her face and sniffed. As she did so, her mind gradually began to calm down. Her eyes softened, and her lips twitched.

“…”

She remembered the scene she had caused while drunk. 5 bottles of apple cider she drank upon returning to the dormitory. Drinking with the past as her companion, she had unknowingly passed midnight. It was a time when stars twinkled in the sky and the moon shyly hid behind the clouds as if embarrassed.

It was the perfect time to indulge in sentiment. So, after clearing away all the alcohol bottles, Grace looked out the window and reminisced about the past in her drunken state. Remembering in a slightly dizzy state was easier to recall things more vividly than being sober.

It was at a certain moment while recalling the past in this way that she visited Ashel’s room.

Honestly, Grace’s past was not that happy or harmonious.

A life where she failed in her family, struggled in the lower ranks at the academy before graduating, and her only friend was the nanny who raised her. Despite this, wanting her family’s recognition and love, she worked hard and managed to barely master all the bloodline inherited sword techniques.

But it was a futile effort.

It was because her family was annihilated. No, to be exact, the Empire itself perished. With the sudden descent of the Plague Demon on a certain day, most of the nobles, including the imperial family, melted away. After that, as the plague spread and lawless areas expanded within the territory, the Empire’s collapse was instantaneous.

Those who barely survived all defected to other countries.

Grace was the same. She lived day by day working as a mercenary in the Kingdom of Kidwin, a country ruled by corrupt royalty.

Fortunately, the sword skill she honed through arduous effort allowed her head to stay attached to her body for a long time. As time passed, her reputation grew larger, and she received the recognition she had so desired, but not from her family, but from others.

She felt no emotion. Everything bothered her. So Grace didn’t team up with anyone. When a request finished, she would shut herself in her lodging and not come out.

A life that simply repeated killing, getting paid, drinking, and falling asleep.

Meeting Ashel, who was famous as a mage hunter and spell hater, was one day while she was living such a life.

“You’re awake?”

“!”

Her train of thought was broken by the voice she heard. Grace was startled and quickly lowered the blanket she had brought to her nose. Ashel, who had entered the room with a glass of cold water, saw the sight and let out a wry laugh.

“…What are you doing?”

“Ah, no, this is that… well…”

It was a strange sight no matter who looked at it. If someone is seen sniffing a blanket that someone else slept under while making a wistful expression, even a monk would be suspicious of their intentions. So, instead of making awkward excuses and receiving strange looks, she decided to try a head-on approach.

“Because it feels good to smell it! It makes me comfortable too!”

After blurting it out, she realized her mistake. Grace’s face turned bright red in the blink of an eye, and she completely covered her face with both hands. At the same time, she wriggled her upper body this way and that. She was writhing in embarrassment.

Ashel watched her and muttered softly.

“…Is she still drunk? No, the magic manifested well.”

He had never failed a magic spell since becoming a mage. But for magic to fail in this situation? It was impossible. He had even already confirmed that the magic had worked properly.

So, what did Grace’s current reaction mean?

“…”

Not wanting to think about it, Ashel lifted Grace’s body into the air, who was writhing as if to kick off the blanket.

“…Hmph.”

Grace hung dangling in the air. As if embarrassed, she desperately avoided Ashel’s gaze with a tearful face. But she did not resist the magic. She just quietly waited until her feelings subsided. Ashel also waited for her while reading a book he had casually put down.

After roughly less than 5 minutes passed like that. Grace quietly opened her mouth.

“Um… Ashel…?”

“Are you feeling a bit better now?”

“Yeah… I think you can put me down…”

It was a voice that had become quite clearer than before. Ashel closed his book, nodded, and set Grace down on the floor. She unnecessarily brushed off the pajamas she was wearing and glanced sideways at Ashel.

“So.”

Ashel looked directly at Grace and spoke.

“Why did you suddenly come here? And why did you drink so much?”

“…Just. Something bad happened.”

“Is it something related to Saya?”

“…A story that was related. It’s all in the past now. She doesn’t know anything about it, but it’s something I remember vividly.”

“I didn’t bring this up to play guessing games.”

Ashel said that and let out a deep sigh. Grace’s shoulders slumped.

He understood that she had circumstances she couldn’t talk about. He could tell that much just by looking at her reactions and behavior.

However, he had no idea how large the knot of emotions in her heart was because of it. He could only vaguely sense that it was immense, beyond what he could possibly describe.

‘If I just let her go here, something like this will happen again.’

That was clearly not a good thing for either Ashel himself or for Grace. For the sake of the future, he had to alleviate her “heart-demon” (心魔) at least a little right now.

He had succeeded in peeling away a bit through the conversation they had in the tent, but even that was extremely meager. Even if she seemed fine on the outside for the past few days, her inside must have been festering.

“When we first met.”

Ashel began in this way and stared at Grace, who was standing stiffly. Their eyes of the same color met in the air.

“You clearly acted as if you knew me. And you already knew my name.”

“…”

“But that was the first day I saw your face. It was a bizarre situation where a complete stranger suddenly came and asked if I knew them.”

“…I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, it’s not that you weren’t thinking. You acted that way because there was a reason, something that required me to know you, which made you act like that. And our second meeting.”

As he continued the story, Grace’s expression twisted strangely. Conversely, Ashel felt a sensation like a puzzle piece fitting together in his mind.

“You called me a ‘mercenary’. And you said I used a sword. But I’ve never held a sword in my life. Swordsmanship? I’ve never even seen basic or third-rate sword techniques, and I have no intention of learning them either.”

“…”

“At the time, I dismissed it lightly. To be honest, I thought of you as a mentally ill patient with some skill. It’s not that rare for people who show prominence at a young age to lose their minds. But you’re mentally sound. You don’t seem like someone with delusions or schizophrenia. Then what is it? What on earth was your intention behind saying that?”

He pulled out and confirmed one by one the facts he had buried in his memory, thinking they held no particular meaning.

Just remembering it, the situation that happened at the time, the feelings he felt, and the other person’s actions were vivid before his eyes as if they happened just yesterday.

Ashel continued speaking, recalling the image of Grace covering herself with a blanket and swallowing her tears.

“Why did you cry then?”

“…”

“Your words and actions. What is the cause, the causality, of all of that? What is the identity of the thought that is gnawing at you?”

“…If I tell you.”

At Ashel’s question, Grace, who had been silent until now, muttered in a low voice.

“If I tell you, will you believe me?”

“Perhaps I might not believe you.”

“…”

“But whether I believe it or not, that’s a decision I’ll make after hearing the answer. It doesn’t seem like something you should be agonizing over alone.”

“…”

No answer came back. Grace bit her lip tightly and clenched her fists as if in deep thought. Her eyes darted around, and her mouth repeatedly opened and closed. The urge to speak clashed with the feeling that she shouldn’t speak, disturbing her mind.

He wondered inwardly just how significant the hardship was that made her hesitate so much. Ashel was curious, but he silently waited until Grace opened her mouth first. Rushing her now wouldn’t yield a proper answer.

Time continued to flow like that. But the situation remained the same. Ashel calmly stared at Grace, and Grace swallowed hard, unable to hide the turmoil in her heart.

After a while.

Grace spoke carefully.

“…There’s a condition.”

“What condition?”

“A condition I’d like you, Ashel, to grant in exchange for telling you.”

It was out of the blue, but Grace’s expression was so pitiful that Ashel readily nodded.

“Tell me.”

“Please don’t think of me as a strange person.”

“…”

“Please don’t avoid me. Even if you despise me, hate me, or detest me, please just let me watch from nearby.”

“…Grace.”

“Me… me…”

Love me like before.

Those words could not escape her mouth. It was a phrase that would place too great a burden on Ashel. To Grace, Ashel was a very significant person, but to Ashel, Grace was not a person of that magnitude.

In the end, Grace forcefully swallowed the sentence she was about to utter at the end. She continued speaking with a bitter smile.

“Forgive me. I’ll try.”

“…Is that all?”

“Yes. That’s all.”

She nodded and replied. Ashel responded without a moment’s hesitation.

“I’ll accept.”

“…Really?”

“Because it’s not a difficult request. So, what is the burden in your heart that you’re carrying?”

Ashel asked.

“…I remember them, but they don’t know me.”

Grace sat down on the bed and spoke in a serene voice.

“Those I fought alongside, those I grew close to by sharing our pasts. None of the bonds we built remained, and only emptiness filled that space. Why was it me? Why did it have to be me?”

“…”

“Even the wedding with the person I promised to love forever, the sweet conversations we shared, the times we laughed while deciding on names if a child were born. All of that is now gone. Things of the past that will never return, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I struggle.”

“…”

“It was good that the deaths of those I loved and cherished became something that didn’t happen, but the fact that they don’t remember me at all… was quite hard to bear. To be honest, I wanted to just let go of everything and collapse. But I couldn’t.”

Ashel listened to Grace’s story in silence. Then, the puzzle pieces in his mind began to fit together at a rapid pace, soon revealing a single picture.

Time, past, memory.

Three deeply connected words. And the content contained in Grace’s story.

When these were appropriately combined, a single word formed in Ashel’s brain.

His eyes widened greatly.

“Wait, Grace, you…”

“There were words that the person I loved left for me before they died.”

“…”

“Please take care of the next world. I end here, but I hope that on the branch you drift towards, a happy ending awaits for you and me.”

Tears welled slightly in Grace’s eyes.

“May our love be eternal there too.”

“…”

“Ashel, I…”

Grace trailed off her words and recalled the image of the man who was dying with his lower body gone. Thanks to the demon’s grace period, she recalled the words he uttered in his dying voice for a considerable time.

-When you see me again, please pretend you know me. Perhaps I might remember you. Even if I don’t, don’t be too disappointed or sad. I don’t want to see you cry. Smiling suits you best.

“I…”

-And if I don’t remember you, don’t carelessly blurt out what you’re about to go through from now on. Absolutely not until you are certain I will believe your words. But if for some unavoidable reason you need to speak… say this.

“Actually, I’m a regressor. We were married in the previous timeline.”

A single tear streamed down Grace’s cheek.

“And… I’m the person who loved you, loves you, and will love you forever.”

This time, please don’t forget.