episode_0464

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An act like swallowing someone else’s finger past your lips,

Or even carefully rolling it around with your tongue.

Anyone who’s lived a normal life would think such a thing has zero possibility of ever happening.

Of course. Licking someone else’s finger? There’s no need for that in everyday life.

And even if you made a hundred, a thousand concessions—maybe if it were the same gender, fine, but the finger of someone of the opposite sex you dislike, like right now?

Forget carefully licking it with your tongue—the moment it entered past my lips, I’d chomp down hard enough to draw blood.

…No, I wouldn’t even let it get that far.

If a finger even touched my lips, I’d obviously snap before they could attempt anything stupid,

And in most cases, I’d avoid it before it even got to that point.

In other words, what’s happening right now has a 0% chance.

You could say it’s something that would never happen under normal circumstances.

“……Hae-ya, ugh….”

“Huh? …Oh, you want me to pull it out?”

“…….”

“Hmm. I don’t think the treatment’s fully done yet. Why don’t you count to 30 in your head?”

“……Baeh….”

…In front of my boyfriend.

Another man’s finger.

Inside my mouth.

Licking it obediently.

An act so humiliating I could die.

There’s no way I’d actually do something like this in real life.

“……Phew….”

…If this had been around summer break, I definitely would’ve.

When Seo Woojin tried to get close to me, I would’ve kicked him away.

Because all I was curious about was what guys like,

How he got so close to Hayun.

That’s all.

I would’ve chewed out the words telling him to get lost right to his face.

“Ugh…….”

Swallowing the words bulging against the inside of my cheek, I kept licking Woojin’s finger resting on my tongue.

The shame starting from my head tickled my heart before spreading stickily to every corner of my body.

…It feels a little different from that… hard thing I usually put in my mouth.

Just finish it quickly if it’s annoying—

Is this how I’m supposed to lick it—

If I obediently licked just the tip like usual, unlike the smooth glans, the hard nail would bump against the tip of my tongue, leaving a sharp sting.

And unlike that thing stiff with blood, his slightly bent knuckle brushed against my front teeth.

Of course, it wasn’t my first time with a finger, so it wasn’t unfamiliar.

But since Baek Jiho was right next to me,

It just felt… weird, that’s all.

Glancing briefly at him, who was still giving me an unreadable look, I forced myself to keep going, pretending not to notice.

It’s not like this was technically a blowjob or anything.

In front of Baek Jiho,

With another man right in front of me.

Working hard.

Diligently.

“……Hah, ….”

Obviously, I wasn’t licking it vulgarly.

I just thought if I moved a little more actively… it might heal faster.

Since we both had to touch it anyway, it’d be better if we were comfortable. That’s all.

Besides, vulgarly licking it in front of my boyfriend? How would that even work?

Just having it slowly squirming in my mouth like this is already nerve-wracking enough.

So I prayed, over and over, for this moment to pass quickly.

That this was just some meaningless incident at a motel one day.

That if we laughed and chatted about other things, even Baek Jiho would forget all about it.

About 30 seconds passed like that, without a single word exchanged.

“You should be fine now.”

“……Phew….”

Seo Woojin, who never looked like this during sex, wore the same gentle smile he’d give in the infirmary.

Along with it, his finger, which had been in my mouth, slowly pulled out.

Maybe because I’d been holding my breath slightly. Through my slightly roughened breathing, I saw a few strands of silvery threads connecting us. And Woojin’s saliva-coated finger.

…When he spread his index and middle fingers apart, a transparent liquid stretched and snapped between them. That kind of finger.

Maybe because it looked exactly like what I’d seen a few days ago in his apartment when we had sex.

For a moment, I nearly spaced out from the unnecessary imagination.

First, I shook my head to snap out of it.

What kind of thoughts am I having with Jiho right next to me…?

“Check for yourself. Does it still hurt?”

“…I-I’m fine. Yeah.”

I might not like his personality, but I’ve never doubted his skills as a healer.

Just one minute. After moving my now perfectly fine tongue around, I first bowed my head slightly to Woojin.

He’s the kind of person I’d be too embarrassed to thank outright.

But I also can’t just stay silent and move on—I’m not the type to let debts go unpaid.

Hence this compromise.

On the other hand, since Baek Jiho had been incredibly, incredibly, incredibly distracting during the treatment, I glanced his way.

Fortunately, Jiho wasn’t making any displeased expressions or anything like that.

At most, he was exhaling softly and doing some light stretching.

The cramped motel must’ve been more suffocating than expected.

Relieved, I turned back to face Woojin in front of me.

“…I’m done now. The stinging from earlier is completely gone too.”

“That’s good. I was worried it might not heal properly.”

“What are you… If you can’t fix it, even a hospital wouldn’t help.”

“Haha…. …Ah, I’ll go wash my hands again.”

“…I’ll go with you. I need to rinse my mouth too.”

Because it’s covered in saliva.

The reason was obvious even without explanation, so as the culprit, I scratched my cheek awkwardly for a while.

Seeing Woojin get up, I immediately followed and stood beside him.

“We’ll go wash up. Jiho, wait for a bit…. …?”

Now that I think about it,

Why has Baek Jiho been silently watching this whole time?

“…What? Wait for what?”

“…Nothing. Never mind.”

Did I…

See that correctly just now?

“I’ll just go rinse my mouth.”

“…Yeah.”

Even now, inside the coat still draped over him.

That small silhouette hidden in the coat’s shadow—what was that?

…Just for a moment,

I panicked.

It felt like we were only at the motel for a short while, but by the time I came to my senses, it was fully night.

The faint, bustling noise of a Saturday night from earlier had now swelled into a lively commotion following the downtown area.

Seo Woojin, who had been wrestling with his smartphone since the elevator, left for somewhere else the moment we stepped outside, saying he had personal business.

Personal business? With anyone else, maybe, but with Woojin, it’s almost certainly about a sex partner.

That’s just like him, and at the same time, it’s a little annoying.

But it’s not like I’m in any position to say anything, so I let it slide.

Part of me wanted to kick some sense into him, but at best, I just mimed slitting my throat at him, signaling to at least not let Hayun find out.

Then, conscious of Baek Jiho’s possible gaze, I lightly tapped his arm as if nothing had happened.

“Let’s head out too. There’s nothing else to do now.”

Let’s go home.

I said something slightly different than usual.

“Already? From how you were texting, I thought we’d be out until the last train…”

“I’m tired. Just tired. …Maybe because I burned my tongue earlier?”

The original plan had been a little different.

Well, I’m not sure if you could call it a plan. But at the very least, I wouldn’t have been going home at this time.

I probably would’ve wandered around with Jiho looking for something to do,

Spent some fun, albeit forgettable, time together,

Then taken the subway while chatting about meaningless things… That’s how it should’ve gone.

But the plan changed.

Because there was something else I had to do now.

“Okay. Well… If you’re tired, there’s nothing we can do. I’m feeling a little tired too, I guess.”

What I saw earlier at the motel.

It wasn’t something I could just ignore and move on from.

…It was a little too problematic for that.

“Let’s go. Isn’t Exit 9 up ahead?”

“…Probably.”

Baek Jiho led the way through the weekend downtown crowd. Walking half a step diagonally behind him, I retraced my earlier memories.

Maybe I should’ve just pretended I didn’t see it. Like,

Ugh. That’s ridiculous.

What kind of idiot gets turned on watching his girlfriend lick another guy’s finger?

I wanted to flip him off and shut down the thought,

But I saw it with my own eyes, didn’t I?

That… thing tenting slightly.

“…….”

Back at the summer vacation cabin, he didn’t seem interested, so why now…?

Before I could get angry,

The one saving grace was that there was still a chance it was just my imagination, rather than Baek Jiho 100% having a weird reaction.

You know how pants can sometimes fold weirdly, making it look like something it’s not? That kind of thing.

Or maybe getting hard in itself could be seen as a good sign.

But this time, the problem was that it was… a little too blatant.

Especially since I have a rough idea of Jiho’s size…

If I superimposed that onto the bulge I saw earlier, it matched way too well. That was the first rebuttal to my rationalization.

The second rationalization was even easier to dismiss.

The so-called “woman’s intuition.”

Now that I think about it, haven’t there been oddly suspicious situations happening one after another lately?

Especially ones related to this incident.

Just off the top of my head—the motel.

If that pervert who just left to meet a sex partner had brought up the motel, I would’ve brushed it off, but it was none other than Baek Jiho who mentioned it.

Of course, it wasn’t like we were going alone—the three of us were together, so I didn’t think much of it at the time, but…

…Like how he didn’t want to have sex with me during summer break.

Or how about a month ago, I found out he’s been masturbating a lot more than I expected.

Or earlier at the café, when he blurted out that nonsense about what if I did something weird with Woojin.

Or that time he said even if I cheated on him, he wouldn’t have anything to say.

It’s suspicious.

It’s almost like he’s hoping for it.

…Whether by accident or whatever, for something to happen between me and Woojin.

And getting hard in a similar situation would mean…

“Why are there so many people?”

“…It’s the weekend.”

So I wanted to confirm whether it was true or not first, but I couldn’t think of a good way.

Suddenly groping Jiho’s crotch out on the street—not at home—would be insane.

Not that I could just manhandle him at home either, but…

…Anyway, that silhouette or shadow I saw earlier was definitely that.

He definitely got hard watching me suck Woojin’s finger, didn’t he?

As I pieced together what I’d seen and my hunches, I let out a slow, quiet sigh.

My boyfriend isn’t even the one doing something to me directly…

But he gets hard watching me with another guy?

If your girlfriend was doing that, shouldn’t you be at least a little mad?

But instead, he’s pitching a tent…?

Something’s seriously off here.

“And it’s definitely getting colder at night. …Are you okay?”

“…It’s whatever….”

Part of me wanted to ask him outright.

Did I see that right just now?

Did you get hard watching me suck our teacher’s finger?

But that’s way too blunt, and if I’m wrong, there’s no way to recover.

I swallowed back the sigh threatening to escape and decided to circle around the question as much as possible.

“Hey, Baek Jiho.”

“Yeah?”

“You know… um….”

“Why’d you call me if you’re not gonna say anything?”

…Did you get turned on watching me suck Woojin’s finger just now?

There’s no way I could ask something that absurd.

So I dialed it back. Again and again.

“……You know.”

“Yeah.”

“Why were you staring at me so hard earlier?”

I asked, then glanced up at his profile.

“Staring? What do you mean?”

“You were. …When I was getting treated.”

He didn’t seem particularly flustered.

After briefly looking down at me as we walked, he just shoved his hands into his coat pockets, maybe because it was chilly.

From his reaction alone, it’s hard to tell if I was too vague.

“Was I? I mean, I was looking, but I don’t know about staring.”

“You were. It was kinda uncomfortable, honestly?”

“…….”

Maybe it really was just my imagination.

Or maybe he’s dodging the question because he wants to hide his preferences.

I can’t read minds, so I’ll never know the truth.

All I can do now is push the question to the brink of bluntness.

So, matching Jiho’s pace, I murmured:

“…You were really focused on watching me with Woojin’s finger in my mouth the whole time.”

“…….”

“I almost wondered if you were having bad thoughts watching that.”

Instead of the precise term, I said bad thoughts.

A deliberately vague expression.

…No matter what the truth is, in a way, it’s a perfectly normal thing to say.

If the roles were reversed and I saw Jiho being touchy with another girl, I’d be pretty pissed too.

And it’s still within the realm of things I could laugh off as a joke.

If it’s jealousy, I could just cheer him up.

If he reacts like a teenage boy, saying, Why would I be jealous of that? then there’d be other ways to handle it.

And as long as he doesn’t blurt out something self-incriminating, it can all just end with me being delusional.

So I waited intently for Jiho’s answer.

“…….”

“…….”

Just say yes or no.

…But he just froze, saying nothing.

The most troublesome reaction possible.

Trusting my woman’s intuition…

“…What’s wrong? Did I say something weird?”

“I… No, yeah. No. It’s nothing.”

“Why are you stammering? Was my question that bad…?”

“…….”

“…Did you have bad thoughts? Really?”

“…….”

“…But all I did was have our teacher’s finger in my…, …Ah.”

Like when we were younger,

I grabbed Jiho’s arm and shook it, teasing him in a playful voice—

…Then, very slightly.

Ahem, ahem.

I cleared my throat and asked again.

“Is that… your thing?”

“…What thing?”

“…You know. That.”

“What’s that?”

“…NTR… or whatever. I’ve seen online that some people are into that….”

As playfully as possible.

Like it’s not a serious issue at all.

Without breaking stride.

…I’ve also made mistakes behind your back.

As casually as possible.

And, a little teasingly.

“No…?”

“…It’s not that.”

“…It’s not. …That’s a relief.”

“…….”

Even though I was already drenched in cold sweat, I kept it playful.

Even though I was already watching Jiho’s reaction like a hawk, I kept it teasing.

…Even though I’m the one having the bad thoughts here, I played it off like a passing comment.

“I thought you got… hard watching that…, so I asked…”

“…….”

“If it was all just my imagination, that’s a relief.”

I whispered it low enough to drown in the noisy weekend night as we headed to the subway.

“…If you had asked for it, I wouldn’t have known what to do…. …I was seriously worried since the motel.”

Pretending to be considerate as a girlfriend.

While saying something incredibly awful.

After that, Baek Jiho and I didn’t have a proper conversation all the way home.

At most, we just scrolled through our phones or closed our eyes to pass the time.

Normally, we’d talk about how this place was nice or that thing was boring, but this time, we didn’t do any of that.

It was the same when we arrived at the subway station near our place.

The same on the walk to the apartment.

The same when we got into the elevator together.

The same when pressing the floor button.

We didn’t exchange a single word.

As if we’d both become invisible.

– The door is closing.

Maybe I