episode_0417

.

One month.

After that secretive time with Seo Woojin, about a month had passed.

I thought I had him by the weakness, that he might reach out first—but unexpectedly, he was eerily quiet.

The last KakaoTalk exchange with Woojin was a month ago.

Given how he’d blurted out something about “dying from overwork” in front of me, I expected him to cling to me annoyingly after that day.

But on the contrary, he was so quiet it left me bewildered.

For three days, I agonized over what to do if Woojin messaged me daily.

On top of that, every time my Kakao notification chimed, I’d startle, wondering if it was him…

Of course, logically speaking, him being indifferent like this was better for me.

But regardless, the unease in my heart refused to leave.

You know that feeling when you see a sky full of dark clouds, prepare an umbrella, and then it stays eerily calm for a whole month?

“Haa….”

“What’s wrong, Dabin? Is it the heat?”

“…Ah, yeah. It’s just a little hot….”

“Right~ The sunlight was brutal this morning on the way to work….”

Hearing the voice, I looked up and locked eyes with a senior.

If I had to describe her vibe—she had that pure, innocent look guys usually like.

We’d grown close during my training period.

It was lunchtime, and we were by the vending machine in a quiet corner of the building. I thought no one would be around, but apparently, that wasn’t the case.

Lost in thought, I scooted to the edge of the chair to make space for her.

As she pressed buttons on the vending machine beside me, she struck up a conversation.

“But you didn’t have any outdoor shoots today, right? The ad filming is something the team lead handles alone anyway.”

“…….”

“Then why was our Dabin sighing~? Did someone bother you~?”

“N-No, it’s not that….”

“You can tell me. If there’s anyone trying to play politics or act like they own the place despite being new, I’ll handle them in one—”

“It’s really not that….”

Her face was soft, but she had this side to her too, huh?

The fact that she jumped straight to this meant something similar must’ve happened before.

Or maybe she’d noticed suspicious behavior from certain people.

Trying to stop things from escalating, I quickly reassured her.

It’s not that. It’s just personal stuff.

Luckily, she didn’t press further—whether because she wasn’t entirely convinced or just chose to drop it.

Instead, her concern shifted.

“What’s bothering you? If you’re okay with it, I can listen.”

“…Hmm…….”

“Or, y’know, even if it’s about someone else~”

Maybe because of the heat, she held a paper cup between her hands as she sat down.

Beneath the strong coffee scent, a faint citrus perfume lingered at the tip of my nose.

“…Senior. If I tell you here, you’ll spread it around, won’t you? ‘Dabin said this and that.’”

“It’d be obvious who the source was, so how could I~?”

“That’s true, but….”

“I’m actually good at this, you know? In high school, I was su~per popular.”

“That’s just because you’re pretty….”

“…Pfft. You’re smooth. Sorry, but it was all girls.”

Guys don’t really do ‘heart-to-heart talks.’

She added with a soft laugh.

Staring at her profile, I finally sighed and muttered, facing forward.

“…It’s embarrassing to talk about with others. Sorry.”

A lukewarm story about a boyfriend.

A sweaty story about a friend’s boyfriend.

Not the kind of thing you casually blab about.

—

417

[Baek Jihyo] – Dabin. – The dongchimi your aunt brought last time was seriously delicious. – My mom hates veggie-only dishes, so stuff like that’s rare for me. – She’s really good at cooking. Always has been.

[Seol Dabin] – Yeah.

[Baek Jihyo] – Is “yeah” really the right response here? – Anyway, tell her I said it was delicious.

[Seol Dabin] – What’s with you? – If you’re grateful, come say it yourself. – It’s, like, three steps from your door to mine.

[Baek Jihyo] – Too hot. Pass.

Wearing thin clothes, I’d hoped Jihyo might drop by so I could at least make some kind of appeal, but—

As expected, another failure today.

Lazing under the AC, I clicked my tongue at my phone screen.

Back when summer break started, I went to a pension with Hayun’s family, showed off my swimsuit, even tried sleeping together.

But ever since I actively tried to get closer, it feels like he’s avoiding me even more.

Probably means the trauma from that day still lingers.

Had I known, I would’ve taken it slower.

“Ugh….”

A few days ago, sudden news arrived.

Baek Jihyo was dropping out of the academy.

But since his family already knew his grades, no one was shocked.

“Rather than a job that doesn’t pay enough to live, it’s smarter to chase money.”

That was the gist of it before the topic changed.

I’d heard Jihyo say “I’ll be the emperor of manual labor” before, so my reaction was the same.

And apparently, he’s just doing part-time jobs for now…

“…Time we can see each other… It’ll keep getting shorter.”

Disappointing, but inevitable.

Even with no new messages, I kept staring at the chat before finally hugging the blanket beside me and turning off the screen.

“…….”

…Lately, it’s become a habit.

Pulling out that hideously shaped toy.

From the depths of the drawer.

“…Ngh, …Jihyo….”

…A small pang of guilt.

On purpose.

Calling my boyfriend’s name.

—

A long time since it was just me and Baek Seoyeon.

Lately, it’s been the three of us with Yozora, or all four with Sua. So meeting just the two of us like this feels rare—if you can even call it that.

Anyway.

Location: my place.

I’d have preferred her spacious, clean apartment, but she requested this, and I didn’t mind not traveling far, so I agreed.

“Thought she’d reach out by now. Still nothing.”

“…Who?”

“That girl I told you about at the café.”

“…….”

After finishing a few rounds of sex filled with nothing but our breathing.

Catching our breath, I brought it up. Seoyeon, standing by the fridge, tilted her head as she steadied her ragged breaths.

The oversized shirt she borrowed from me.

Gulping down water like she was parched, only to drink a few sips.

Her scent clung to the white shirt, its silhouette outlined by the midday sun behind her.

She couldn’t be pretending not to remember.

It’s been a while, so maybe she forgot.

Taking the half-empty cup from her, I continued.

“You called her a ‘horny little beast’ or something.”

“…I didn’t go that far. Just ‘little beast.’”

“Close enough.”

“…Anyway. Guess it’s not going well with that girl who had a boyfriend.”

“You do remember.”

“It came back while talking. I do have a good memory.”

Indifferent?

Or just no emotion at all?

For Seoyeon, her voice was unusually laced with amusement.

The corner of her lips seemed slightly raised, too.

Was my failure that entertaining?

Downing the water she handed me, I headed to the fridge to quench my lingering thirst.

“How far’d you get with her? Last time, you said nothing much happened. Did you two sneak off for a date?”

“We had sex. Didn’t kiss, though.”

“…Beastly. Like Yozora said—you just pinned her down and went straight for sex?”

“Not forced. A little coercion, but she liked it too.”

“So it was rape…?”

“Not that far. She was into it.”

“…Birds of a feather. Beasts of a kind.”

“Not weird. You liked it too when I touched you, your first time—”

“I had no choice.”

“…….”

“…No choice. Stop staring and drink your water. You’ll wear your face out.”

Right, Seoyeon’s a gumiho. She has to do this periodically.

That’s why she’s here today.

I shouldn’t judge by her standards.

Gulping down the cold water until my throat ached, I set the empty cup in the sink.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you something.”

“If it’s annoying, I’ll refuse.”

“No, just curious. Wanted a woman’s perspective.”

“…What is it?”

She sighed lightly, as if bracing for something troublesome.

“Which feels better—masturbating alone or having sex with someone?”

“…….”

When I asked directly, her eyelids fluttered rapidly before she averted her gaze and mumbled.

“…Sex is way… ……, …better.”

“So it’s good?”

“…Not bad.”

“What if you had a dildo?”

“A dildo……. …You mean using one while masturbating?”

“Yeah.”

This time, she took it more seriously.

Biting her lip, she hesitated for 10, 20, nearly 30 seconds before answering.

“…Don’t need it.”

“Why?”

“…If that could solve it, why would I come to you to get fucked…?”

A rather.

Satisfying answer.

—

Rather.

Unsatisfying.

“Jihyo…, ….”

At first, it was very satisfying.

Just fixing this thing somewhere and moving my hips felt way better than my usual methods.

I didn’t even need to go all the way—just pushing it in and out near the entrance was enough.

Definitely.

“Hn, ngh….”

But then, one day.

I started pinching my nipples while doing it.

Not because the pleasure wasn’t enough—but because doing both felt better.

“…Ah, seriously… Ugh…….”

Then, another day.

I started rubbing my clit and moving my hips like usual.

Maybe because the pleasure wasn’t enough—but I wasn’t sure.

What was certain was that this felt better.

After that, I stopped using just the toy.

…Even the shallow teasing.

Gone.

“……, Hahk…. ……Ah, wait… …Ngh, ah…?!…?”

Then, another day.

I started mimicking that position.

Not pressing it against the wall and moving.

Not pressing it against the floor and moving.

But holding it.

Lying on the bed, fucking myself with wet, squelching sounds.

Because this was faster.

Easier.

Moving your whole body vs. just your arm.

Of course the latter’s quicker.

…So.

That’s the only reason.

Not because of Woojin.

Not because of those…

…weird memories.

…Just convenience.

“……, …. Hah… Hah……. Pant….”

But then, another day.

Even that stopped being enough.

Rather.

Unsatisfying.

Before, I could’ve climaxed happily by now.

Chest heaving, staring dazedly at the dildo pulled from my soaked pussy, dripping with transparent fluid.

But now?

Can’t.

Barely a small peak.

Left wanting, so I stimulate the good spot a little more, a little harder.

…After effort, another small peak.

Again.

Repeat.

“…….”

…Why?

What’s.

Wrong?