episode_0091

“Are you okay? It seems like Namin is really shocked… … .”

“It’s okay, I’ll take good care of you and take you with me. Have a nice trip.”

I was so out of it that I forgot to see Na-rin off. I just sat next to me and stared blankly at Ham-shik, who was dangling his long front legs.

Hamshik understands human speech. That’s why he must have understood the conversation between the cow doctor and Narin.

Hamshik is the same age as Grandma Hoho in human years, and she doesn’t have much time left to live.

If Hamshik had been active, it might not have been a problem, but since his movements had become dull recently, I was even more worried, just as the doctor had said.

It’s just a coincidence, it’s nonsense, how can a doctor who just saw Hamshik for the first time today diagnose Hamshik so arbitrarily! … … To say that. Because I’m not really a child.

Small animals have short life spans. There are exceptions, but it’s unlikely that a hamster will become a turtle.

No matter how smart they are or how much they eat, a hamster is still a hamster. I don’t know for sure, but they say their average lifespan is 3 years.

“Hamshik, is your body really sore? Is that why you weren’t moving because you were lazy?”

I asked while gently caressing Hamshik’s belly. Of course, there was no answer, but there was no movement to try to rip me off either.

The attitude of just sitting still and sniffing around, as if it’s more bothersome to care about something or not.

It really hurts. I’ve gotten older in the past few days.

“Jihyun, what should I do? Hamsik is a grandmother. She won’t live long. Isn’t there a way to extend her lifespan?”

“… … Biology hasn’t been studied that far yet. Sorry. It’s better to just let them eat lots of delicious food.”

I want to cry. But I can’t cry now. If I cry, Hamshik and Saekmusae will both get anxious.

So I tried to raise the corners of my lips and stroked Hamshik more vigorously.

“No, Hamshik will live a long time. There are still many foods he hasn’t tried. Right, Hamshik?”

Maybe because I was talking about food, or maybe because I was stroking him too enthusiastically, Hamshik finally turned to look at me.

Then he lifted his front paw and pushed my cheek, as if telling me to look ahead.

“That’s too much! I’m worried about Hamshik!”

“Don’t worry too much, Hamshik is trying to be considerate. Okay, let’s go home now. If we make a fuss here, the other kids will go crazy too.”

“Yeah, I guess I should go home… … .”

But thanks to Jihyun telling me, I’m not upset. You punk, I guess you’re still embarrassed because I’m worried about you.

No matter how old you are, or how much you are a grandmother or whatever, the fact that I am your older sister still remains unchanged.

Well, when you get older, you should be mature like me. If you act like Hamshik, you’ll be a child your whole life. And children don’t grow old.

“Hey, guys. I’ll pass. Saekmooseya, let’s go home now.”

“Good! This body is now leaving, so you nobles, serve your master and do your duty! That is our pride!”

Was I too distracted by Hamshik? I had no idea what the heck Saekmusae was doing to the other dogs and cats.

Well, anyway, no kids would rush at us, so we wouldn’t have started a fight. That’s fortunate.

As I drove the RC car home, I couldn’t help but glance at Hamshik. Every moment, I was worried, wondering if he was still okay.

Then, I suddenly thought of my mom and dad. Even as I was dying, they always encouraged me and told me that I could live longer, even though the six months the doctor said had passed.

Maybe thanks to that, I was able to travel and control my body to the point where the Military Manpower Administration asked me to enlist.

When I actually put myself in their shoes, I thought about how heartbreaking it must have been.

How could you always smile at me when my heart aches like this? I wondered what the secret was.

So, I guess I’ll have to call my mom when I get home.

“Hamsik-ah, what do you want to eat? Let’s eat something you’ve never had. Oh, Hamsik-ah hasn’t had Jjajangmyeon! Yeah, let’s eat Jjajangmyeon and Tangsuyuk together. Hmm, Jjajangmyeon alone can’t be delivered, but if you have Tangsuyuk too, you can… … ?”

“Look. The minimum delivery fee is 15,000 won, so yeah. If you order Jjajangmyeon and Tangsuyuk, it’ll be just right. Let’s order this. Oh, Namin. There’s a coupon for this. Hurry up and use it.”

“That’s right. There’s a coupon. There’s a review event. Should I say I’m using this and ask for some dumplings?”

“Uh… … . Can we eat it? Hmm, if there’s any left, we can heat it up and eat it later. Let’s ask for some.”

If it were up to me, I would have just heated up a cup of rice and eaten it. But no one knows how long Hamshik has left to live.

So, starting today, every day, Hamshikki will order something he’s never tried before. Cupbap… … . Since it has a long shelf life, then…

Of course, the ham-sik-i may live longer than the cup-bobs. Then, it may be a shame to throw them away. But if that happens, it is actually welcome. Because the ham-sik-i will live longer.

There’s also a suspiciously wealthy subscriber who pays for meals for me. I feel a little bad about ordering something every day, but I don’t think Hamsik-ssi’s entire life’s food bill will come to more than 15 million won.

… … No. Hamshik will live a long life and eat more than 15 million won worth of food.

I feel bad about taking all that money. Once my YouTube channel grows and the Miniature requests start coming in steadily, I think you can stop helping me.

Or, if she says it’s okay, I can buy her food and make her some snacks. I like this better because I can use my talents.

“I’ll call my mom for a minute.”

“Ugh. Should I step aside from Saekmusae and Hamshik for a moment?”

“Hey, I’m not telling you a secret. And even if you’re in the dark, you can hear everything, right? Hamshik and Saekmusae both have good ears.”

“That’s right, I have good ears! I have good eyes, a good nose, and I like ham!”

The color-blind man must have heard the story at the hospital, but he still sat down with Hamshik in his arms.

If it were the original Hamshik, he would have drop-kicked and chased away that color-shifting prank. But as expected, Hamshik just sat still.

My heart ached at the sight of the saekmu bird, and the corners of my lips twitched at the sight of Hamshik, who was acting unusually. Then, when I heard the sound of a call connecting on my phone, I quickly gathered my emotions.

– Hello? Is this Namin?

A warm and gentle voice whenever I hear it. Thanks to that, my heart, which had been tingling, felt at ease, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey, Mom! How have you been?”

– Mom, as long as Na-min is healthy, you will always be well. Please contact me more often. Of course, I am not worried because I always watch YouTube.

“Huh? How does my mom know about my YouTube channel?”

– How would you know? I heard that Na-min had been using the ID she used to contact her mom to run a YouTube channel.

“Eww!”

What a touching hat… …, no, we were going to have a mother-daughter reunion. How can you suddenly ruin the mood like this!

Of course, it’s not like the videos I uploaded to YouTube are embarrassing or anything.

From the beginning, I was making Min-ee-cheo with pride, and the ones in charge of cuteness were Ham-shik, Ji-hyun, and Saek-musae.

I’ve never really been cute or anything. … … No, right?

But no matter how many videos you upload that you feel proud of, it’s still incredibly embarrassing to think that your mom is watching them.

– Haha. Why are you so embarrassed? To Mom, Na-min still looks like a baby who had her diaper changed.

“Well, that may be so, but… … . Oh, Mom. That’s why I called.”

It’s embarrassing, but I found my mom for something more important.

I rubbed my burning cheek with my hand, then lowered my voice when I saw Hamsik, Saekmusae, and Jihyun all playing among themselves.

“My mom always cheered me on. I think I was able to live longer thanks to that. I want to do the same for Hamshik… … . How do I do that? Whenever I see Hamshik, my heart aches and I want to cry. They say Hamshik won’t live long.”

As I was talking, I started to cry without realizing it and let out a squeaky sound. It’s embarrassing to cry, but I held it in for the sake of Hamshik and continued to talk.

My mother’s answer did not come right away. I became anxious, and then suddenly it occurred to me that my question might have hurt her.

I guess I was just thinking too much about Hamshik. I’m sure my mom felt the same way I do now. That’s what made me think of her.

“Oh, Mom. I’m sorry. I bet you felt the same way, but I didn’t think about it… … .”

– No. I’m saying this because I think Na-min has grown up now. But in Mom’s eyes, she still looks like a small baby, so I wonder if it’s okay to say this. Oh, Na-min really is small, so what you’re saying is true?

“Child, Mom… … .”

Thank goodness he’s so casual that he can joke around.

My mother seemed to be choosing what to say to me again, and then she spoke calmly.

– Yes, Na-min is all grown up now, so it’s okay to be honest. In fact, mom and dad had a hard time too. What parent would be okay when their son is sick? But mom and dad have to be strong, so you can see that and be strong too. That’s why your dad and I cheered each other on.

Yeah. I understand now that I’ve experienced it. Mom and Dad had a hard time back then too. But they never showed it.

I was so thankful and sorry that I ended up sniffling. Even though she must have heard me through the phone, my mom pretended not to hear me.

– So, our son, no, our daughter. It seems like you really think of Hamshik as your little brother. Jihyun and Saekmusae, support each other and help Hamshik do what he wants to do. Namin could say she wanted to travel, but Hamshik can’t speak, so you guys have to listen to him well.

“Of course, I know Hamshik’s heart the best.”

– Yes. It’s not about getting ready to leave. It’s more important to make lots of good memories while you’re together and be happy.

Yeah, Mom’s right. It’s not like everything is useless when you’re dead.

In my previous life, I was going to die anyway, so I gave up studying and didn’t play RPG games.

Now that I’m alive, I realize that if I think about it, I’m going to die anyway, so whatever my remaining lifespan is, it’s all the same. There’s no meaning to it.

If life is destined to be fleeting, what’s the point of all this struggling?

You could say that even the effort is meaningless. Having died once, I am still afraid of death. I am also afraid of Hamshik dying.

But meaning, what does that matter? Right now, I’m alive, and I have things I want to do. Hamshik has things he wants to do too.

I love Hamshik, the glutton. I love Hamshik, who always plays by himself and is always rude, but sometimes takes care of me. I love Hamshik, who sleeps curled up in a ball, and then rolls out of bed. I love Hamshik, who wakes me up and tries to go to the bathroom with me.

Because life is destined to be fleeting, all of Hamshik’s struggles are meaningful. Me too. Jihyun too. Saekmusae too. All of us.

“Thank you, Mom. I love you!”

– Thank you. Mom loves Na-min too. Please say hello to Na-rin and her friends.

“Yes!”

So, even if I’m sad, I think I can smile at Hamshik. Just like I have done so far, and always will in the future.