episode_0045

In fact, I didn’t even realize that the world had changed like this. I just thought I had fallen into a new world.

It wasn’t long before I realized that this was the reality I lived in. The link was my mother from my previous life.

But my mother couldn’t find the link between me and my previous life. That’s understandable. At the time of my death, it wasn’t known that I was of a different race or anything.

The military is already a closed group. Even if they can use cell phones, they can only access information through internet articles, and there is no way they can become friends with other races.

So I folded my arms and frowned, wondering how I could convince my mother.

“That, that’s what I mean. That, um. Oh, right. There could be some reason why the body changed like this. Or maybe it was reincarnation. Since this is a world where anything can happen.”

“… … Yes, that’s right. I was sensitive. There were some people who tried to take advantage of my son’s death. Politicians, corporations.”

“I understand. It’s okay.”

It’s really a good thing I came with Narin. If I had, I wouldn’t have even tried to persuade her like this.

My mother and I were both rigid in our thinking. It was as if common sense had stopped the day I died.

Then, when Narin wraps it up so well, I have to take over the baton properly. What should I say to my dead friend’s mother in front of his grave?

Hmm, what kind of friend was that guy when he was alive, and should I talk about that? But then I’d be praising myself.

But what should I do? I asked to meet first and then didn’t say anything? Or maybe he actually gave up on dying, and he died because he wanted to stop being sick, and that’s what he says?

It’s crazy. Even though I died without being able to communicate much with other people, it was strange not knowing how my mother would feel if she heard those words.

So I have to do it. Praise myself. I feel so embarrassed that I even scratch my cheek.

“She was a good kid. So she must have gone to a good place. … … I’m sorry, but I think my speaking skills have decreased a lot because of my body.”

“No, it’s okay. I also buried my son in my chest and forgot to talk for a while. He was a sick child, so I was mentally prepared that it wouldn’t be strange if he went away at any time.”

“Your son is sick… … ?”

Luckily, Narin joined the conversation quietly. If it weren’t for Narin, I wouldn’t have known how to respond.

This is my mother’s inner thoughts that I didn’t know in my previous life. I will always be able to get better. Let’s hold on for one more day. I held on yesterday, so I can hold on today. She was the one who supported me like that.

You must have been preparing your mind first. How heartbreaking it must have been for you.

“It was cancer. He was a very healthy child and didn’t suffer from any minor illnesses, so it was discovered too late. If he had gone to the hospital at least once a year when he had a cold, we would have found out sooner.”

“Oh my… … . But you said he died in the military. No way.”

“It was a country that took cancer patients away, unfortunately. They said they would send me a warrant right away even if I wasn’t sick. Even if I went with a medical certificate, they said there weren’t enough soldiers, so I had to take them anyway.”

“Oh my god.”

“I tried to find a way not to go, but instead, my son said this. He said he owed me so much. He said he would grow up after going to the military. Did he think that if he said it with a smile, people wouldn’t understand? Anyone who heard it would have heard that he was saying he would die where we couldn’t see him… ”

Her mother’s voice was drowned out by the water. Narin just moved her lips as if she didn’t know how to comfort her.

I can’t see Narin’s face, but I can tell that much because I can see her chin going down and up without saying anything.

On the other hand, my mother, who had been suppressing her surging emotions, sighed deeply and spoke weakly.

“That kid, people say he died heroically and righteously. Does that make sense? Saying things like that won’t make my kid come back alive… … . That just made me resentful. People who say things like that are all people who try to use it for something, so I hate them.”

Hearing my mother’s lament, I looked back at the story I had told with a stinging feeling.

Oh. Did I say something like that? No, I didn’t. I’m not that good with words.

It was clear, but somehow my mother’s eyes were turned towards me.

Hmm, weren’t you talking to Na-rin?

Of course, I wanted to talk to my mother and say hello, but I think she hasn’t gotten over her feelings yet, so it’s hard to talk right now.

It’s burdensome. I’m afraid that if I make even the slightest mistake here, we’ll never meet again. So I was choosing my words carefully. My mother now spoke in a calm voice.

“Still, I really want to believe that he went to a good place. Then I wonder how the little girl met my son. Can I hear it? As far as I know, my son doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, uh, that’s, that.”

I didn’t think that far!

An alarm bell rang in my head, but I wasn’t a very witty person. As a result, I was flustered and couldn’t answer the sudden question.

I looked at Hamshik in despair, but Hamshik was just eating the almonds he had put in his bowl.

This kid, his sister is in such a difficult situation, and he eats like that, like he’s eating almonds or popcorn.

Should I call her a gaming friend? No, I didn’t play games in my past life. Then should I say we became friends while watching YouTube videos? That means my mother also watched my YouTube videos.

Finally, before I could come up with a plausible answer, my mother’s mouth opened.

“Actually, I didn’t expect much. My first thought was that there were still people trying to take advantage of my dead son. My son’s friends were all at the funeral.”

“Oh, really? You guys are all loyal kids after all!”

“Uh… … . But isn’t it possible that there were one or two friends that your mother didn’t know about… … ?”

I felt better inside for a moment, but when Narin’s hand slowly buttoned up my collar, I flinched in surprise.

Anyone who saw it said something that was extremely suspicious. Fortunately, my mother smiled gently and shook her head.

Hmm, shaking your head is a form of denial. Anyway, the important thing is that you smiled. You weren’t suspected.

“They are my son’s friends, so of course I know them all. Since I was sick, only my real friends were left. I am grateful to them for taking time out of their busy schedules to visit me in the hospital.”

It’s just like my mother said. If we weren’t close, you wouldn’t have come to see me.

On the other hand, if I was really close to you, you could say, “Why didn’t you come?” But then, can I say, “I didn’t know because I was dead at the time?”

This time, I won’t be easily swayed. I’ll just naturally accept my mother’s questioning… … ? What should I do then?

Whether I thought about it or not, my mother continued talking without giving me time to respond.

“But, you know, after almost two years, someone came to me again and brought up my son. I keep seeing my son overlapping with me. Whenever I tell a lie that I can’t even tell, I always scratch my cheek, and that’s what I say after thinking about it with my arms crossed.”

Did I really act like that? I looked at Hamshik to see if it was true, but Hamshik just looked at me with an innocent expression.

… … It’s not helping at all. I guess I should have left the ham at home today. It’s just making me cold for no reason.

“Reincarnation. Yes, they say that there is such a thing in this world. They say that there are people who change their bodies after they die and go to another world. They say that there are such miracles, and they are miracles. It has never happened to my son. But I really want to believe it again. Is what I think right? The little girl is definitely not my son’s friend, but she must know my son very well. Right?”

Yes, it never happened in my previous life, but it’s a miracle that I’m living this second life.

It was like coming back to the world I lived in among so many other worlds, being reborn in the same country among so many countries, and coming to my senses in Seoul among so many places, and meeting each other through contact.

We met again by chance. This moment could be called a miracle.

The present that I am enjoying is the tomorrow that I, who died in my previous life, longed for so much. So, I erased all the worries about what I would do when I met my mother and how I would prove myself.

I opened my mouth impulsively.

“Mom, actually, I, ugh!”

But that was also blocked. Hamshik, who had been quiet until then, suddenly threw me.

Such strength from such a small body… …Of course it’s possible. We have enough strength to lift and throw each other.

But why now? You foolish pig. At this exciting moment!

I flew through the air and was thrown to my mother, who opened her eyes wide and caught me in her chest.

My mother, who was supporting me with her hand so that I wouldn’t flow, cried and shed tears on my head.

“Isn’t that Haemin? Did I see something wrong? Oh my gosh, how did you get so small… !”

“That’s right, Haemin! I’m using the name Namin now though. Mom, I really missed you so much… … .”

It didn’t go as planned at all, but I was in my mother’s hands, not knowing what to do and not being able to exert any strength in her hands for fear of getting hurt even a little, so my heart started pounding for no reason.

I cried bitterly in my mother’s arms, unable to even embrace her with my arms outstretched.