episode_0021

Jeong Dong-ho looked at Ha-jin looking around the practice room with her mother.

Then, I thought back to the conversation I had with director Kim Si-woon a few days ago.

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“Senior, would you like a drink?”

“Yeah. Director Kim worked hard today too.”

The two men toasted and tilted their glasses.

“Hajin’s acting is good, right?”

“What are you talking about? Just go into the script. I was so focused that I was shaking, I completely forgot that I was a 6 year old.”

“I did the same thing during the audition. At that time, I didn’t even give my fingerprints. But the situation I had imagined in my head was exactly like that, no, it was 200% pulled out. I was so surprised.”

“Then what should I do? I can’t come to my senses after the smoke ends.”

Jeong Dong-ho clicked his tongue and accepted the glass.

“Isn’t there a way? It’s such a waste to just act. I want to raise him properly.”

“You can improve your acting skills, but it’s hard to change your acting style. That’s not a skill, it’s something you’re born with.”

“There are actors who are good at overcoming and acting out emotions.”

“You have to handle it yourself. If you are emotionally immersed, there will be aftereffects. There is no other way than to take care of your mental health and rest for a while. Actors who have unusually long breaks are all because of that.”

“… … .”

“That’s also talking about adult actors, and Hajin is 6 years old now.”

“It’s still young.”

“The younger you are, the more true to your own feelings. Where is there a child who can control their emotions? It continues to increase as you go through puberty, but it slows down when you become a high school student. By then, your head has grown. You are preparing to live in society.”

“I heard that Hajin shouldn’t act until she becomes a high school student.”

“That’s right. This movie was first exposed by the media, so even if there’s nothing I can do, I can’t act until I have the strength to shake off my emotions. My body can’t handle it.”

“If that’s what you saw, then that’s right. But what a shame. She’s the kind of person who only comes once in a hundred years.”

“If you have talent now, it won’t be too late to do it later. In 10 years, Director Kim will have been quite successful, so what are you worried about? Just grab it when you get there.”

“How can you be so sure about my future?”

“You can tell by looking at the way the movie is made. If it doesn’t succeed, it’s not Director Kim’s fault, it’s the problem with the Korean film industry.”

“Haha, thank you for your kind words.”

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“I’m going to talk to Hajin, so your mother is in the office. Or would you like to listen with me?”

“I have a friend who lives nearby, so I’m going to meet him. Listen carefully to what Mr. Hajin says, and call me when you’re done.”

“Yes, Mom.”

After Mom left, the two of us sat down in our seats.

“Is this your first time at an acting academy?”

“Yes.”

“I’m currently teaching a few people through introductions, but I’ll continue to train them. When I tried it, I found that teaching was as fun as acting.”

Don’t worry, teacher, it will become a place that everyone will want to come in later.

“I think I should tell you about your symptoms first, but I don’t know if I can explain it easily. I’ve never talked about this kind of thing to a child before.”

“It’s okay. I read that difficult book well.”

“Okay? Then I’ll talk about it, so if you come across something you don’t know, just ask.”

“Yes.”

The teacher explained post-performance syndrome (PDS), which actors often experience.

It has also been compared to trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It’s obviously difficult for a 6 year old, but I’m 6 years old and 22 years into my life.

He listened to the voice with a serious expression, remembering the acting class from his past life.

“Hajin is really amazing. He has an expression on his face that says he understands everything.”

“No, it’s not. At first, it was difficult because it seemed like a medical paper.”

“That’s what’s in the abstract of a medical paper. I didn’t know you’d think that far. Are you really 6 years old?”

“6 years old. A 6 year old who reads difficult books well.”

He pats my head with an amused expression.

“Does knowing this help you solve it? I wish I could go back to normal when the smoke is over. Right now my head is a mess and I feel dizzy and like I’m going to throw up.”

“That’s the aftereffect of being overly emotional while acting. It’s so common for actors to experience it that doctors write papers about it. It’s a kind of occupational disease.”

“Have the doctors found a solution?”

“No. There is still no solution that does this.”

“Then what should I do?”

“What should I do? I brought you here so we could figure it out together.”

He smiles like a kind grandfather.

Looking at that made me think I shouldn’t look so gloomy.

You’re putting in this much effort for someone you’ve only known for a few days.

“That doesn’t mean there is no solution at all… .”

He talked about the mental management methods of famous actors, especially those who excel at emotional acting.

It was the first time I heard about it, because I had never had this much trouble acting emotionally in my past life.

One thing that was unfortunate was that it was difficult for child actors to follow along.

“For this movie, even if you can’t help it, it’s better not to act emotionally for the time being. Until you can control your emotions to some extent.”

“When was that?”

“You should be past puberty, so maybe high school students?”

“That’s not for the time being. For the time being, at most, it’s 6 months.”

“Wow, Hajin is really smart. From now on, I won’t have to speak easily to the teacher.”

Words don’t matter.

The important thing is that there is a 10-year gap.

If it were before the audition, I would have argued that it was nonsense.

But now my thoughts have changed a little, no, a lot.

It’s not just because we’re so absorbed in acting that our bodies and minds become worn out.

Because I don’t have to act emotionally, I can just film commercials and appear on children’s shows.

If I can find a script that doesn’t draw me in with foreshadowing of the future, I can somehow continue acting.

‘Surely that was a signal.’

The signs started to appear after I spoke to my mom at home after reading the script.

Memories of my past life began to come back to me.

Just like when I prevented Professor Jo Ha-rin’s accident.

‘Why that memory?’

My memories of elementary, middle, and high school days became clear.

The problem is that this memory is of no use.

Because it was the most meaningless time in my life.

He lost his parents in an accident and started playing baseball in elementary school.

Because when I sweat and exercise, I miss you two a little less.

Thanks to that, I stood out since middle school, went to a prestigious baseball high school, and planned to go pro right after graduation.

That is, until I broke the jaw of the senior who called me an orphan.

My school days, which lasted about 10 years, are filled with memories of exercising like this.

It’s similar to the period when the teacher told me not to act.

The timing of the memories coming back is too exquisite to be a coincidence.

‘Are you telling me to have a normal school life?’

Three misfortunes I experienced in my past life.

His acting career, which had not blossomed properly, changed dramatically from the day he returned.

If you don’t become a baseball player, you can compensate for it by spending your days as a normal student, learning acting from your teacher.

It is an opportunity to cover the bleak times with the dazzling brightness of youth.

“What are you thinking? Are you having a headache?”

“Just, old memories.”

“Old times? When was our son’s old times?”

My mother said with a smile.

The words, “after you die,” rose to the tip of my tongue, but I quickly swallowed them as tears welled up in my eyes.

‘Why don’t I remember the accident? I don’t want to experience it again.’

I only remember the due date. December 24th.

I don’t know if it was this year, next year, or the year after that.

As the 24th approached, I prayed every night to a god I did not believe in.

Please remind me before that day comes.

I want to save you again, just like I saved my teacher.

*****

“Ugh, ugh… Huaaaang!”

“You had a scary dream again. Okay, Mommy will hug you.”

I cried for a long time in my mother’s arms.

Even while crying, I couldn’t be more thankful for this situation.

Because I clearly remember my mom and dad’s car accident.

Both of them passed away this year, or are scheduled to pass away.

KBC Annex Studio —

“What’s wrong with Hajin today? Why are you so listless?”

I cried all morning and lost all my energy, so my condition is a mess.

I tried my best not to show it during the recording, but I guess I couldn’t fool the PD.

“I’m sorry, PD.”

He bowed his head without making any excuses.

In fact, I didn’t even have the capacity to make excuses.

All I could think about was the accident that was going to happen on the 24th.

PD Cho Seung-hyun was rather embarrassed by this reaction.

“Ah, no… You were fine during the recording, but you suddenly looked lethargic, so I asked.”

“I’ll cheer you up.”

Eugene approached with a confident expression.

Why are you doing that again, Jan?

“Okay, take it.”

“What is it?”

“Christmas party invitation. Come to my house on the 24th. I’ll invite Sora and Jungwoo too.”

For a moment, my mind snapped to its senses.

24th!

I was wondering how to keep Mom and Dad, but Eugene came up with a really good excuse.

Without realizing it, Eugene grabbed my hand.

“Eugene! Thank you, thank you so much!”

“Huh? Uh… Yeah.”

Eugene’s expression was strange, but I immediately proceeded to the next step.

“I was supposed to have dinner with Mom and Dad that day, but I really want to go to the party. So, can I go with Mom and Dad?”

“Really? Then I’ll tell Mom and Dad to stay at home too. Sora can come with Dad too.”

Suddenly it turned into a family party.

Director Han Jae-ryong is feeling the pressure, but now is not the time to be picky.

This is how the first step of the Save Dad and Mom project was taken.