episode_0238

It’s been a while.

These feelings.

It was the first time I had enjoyed a magic fair this much.

It made me wonder how it could be so enjoyable.

Of course, I knew the cause.

There was only one thing that was different from previous fairs.

The existence of his student Lee Ho-yeon.

Perhaps that was why Imsol was afraid of the appointment time slowly approaching.

This is because the promise I had with my student was to [go to the fair during the morning].

‘The student seems to be enjoying it, but wouldn’t it be okay to extend the time a little longer?’

After a really long time, Imsol bowed slightly and decided to go in.

Bowing to a disciple is not really bowing.

This is just one of the attitudes of tolerance that an educator must show.

While thinking the same thing.

“Well, then.”

“yes?”

Seeing Ho-yeon Lee blinking at her as if wondering what was going on, Im Sol felt an itch.

Imsol, who felt embarrassed for no reason, continued speaking while avoiding eye contact.

Trying to ignore my slightly heated cheeks, I tried to throw a tantrum for the first time since becoming an adult.

“Anyway, today is… experiential learning. I’m not forcing it, but if you don’t mind. Yes, if you don’t have anything else to do… that afternoon too….”

It was something that required great determination.

Im Sol also had something to give up, to the point where he postponed the magic research he was supposed to do in the afternoon.

But before Imsol finished speaking.

bang! Quagwagwang! thud-!

The sound of something exploding filled the fairground.

People screaming and smoke from explosions.

– Run away! It’s Mine!

– Attack! It’s terrorism! Where’s the defense team?

Lee Ho-yeon, who was concentrating on what he was saying, became distracted by his surroundings.

“T-terrorism. Professor!”

The fairground became truly chaotic in an instant.

The good atmosphere just now felt like a dream.

As Im Sol was watching the scene, something snapped inside him.

She raised her magic power.

Suddenly this whole situation became annoying.

He didn’t like the fact that his time with his student was interrupted, and he didn’t like the idea of such scum running around right in front of his eyes.

“… it’s annoying.”

It was only after the whole situation was over that Im Sol regained his senses.

Now that he had eliminated all the causes of his mood, he planned to speak to his student again.

Please stay with me this afternoon as well.

But that was Lim Sol’s own idea.

Even after going through something like this, Im Sol was the only one who remembered what he had just said.

There was fear in the eyes of the people looking at Imsol from the ground.

The same was true for his student Lee Ho-yeon.

Imsol slightly closed his eyes and stepped on the ground.

And then he spoke to his disciple.

“Did you see everything?”

“… yes.”

“…Did you hear everything?”

Things I said when I lost my senses.

What happened just now is a bit hazy so I don’t remember exactly, but there was probably quite a bit of low-level profanity mixed in.

“Uh… yes.”

Im Sol felt a slight sense of distance from Lee Ho-yeon’s words.

People who saw their power usually reacted like that.

“Professor. Well, that was cool. Really.”

Im Sol smiled slightly at Lee Ho-yeon’s words. But I was feeling it.

My student, Lee Ho-yeon.

He has tremendous acting skills.

You can feel it while talking.

Hoyeon Lee had a lot to hide from herself, but she barely showed it. His acting skills were truly inappropriate for his age.

Until now, he has been comfortable talking to me and has not experienced any resistance compared to other people.

I didn’t want to say that all of this was acting.

That’s because Imsol becomes so miserable.

But there must have been some.

There must have been times when something suited you even if you didn’t like it.

It was like that just now.

Imsol clearly confirmed the expression on his face after using magic.

The expression on your face when you see a creature that doesn’t seem to be in this world.

When people see something they cannot understand with their own experience and wisdom, they cannot help but feel an instinctive sense of rejection.

And Imsol has always received such rejection.

‘In the end, the reason you get involved with me is probably because of my body, or because of my kind personality that I can’t refuse.’

Because our student who is good at acting is kind.

“Am I a burden?”

“No, no, I was just confused.”

Imsol is slightly… I became depressed.

I thought I had gotten rid of these feelings a long time ago.

No, it definitely was like that.

Why do I feel sad that Lee Ho-yeon reacts like that?

Imsol didn’t know the reason, so he complained for no reason.

“It’s okay. You can call me a monster. I’m used to it.”

“Professor. Don’t say things like that. How can you be a monster?”

ha.

Still, the student treated me kindly until the end.

I was so grateful that I wanted to lean on it, but I held back that feeling.

Everyone he had ever met hated his true self.

But of course.

The only student you thought was right for you even likes you for who you are?

It was too convenient to think that way.

“But I didn’t want to show it to you.”

“… professor?”

Imsol sighed and smiled self-deprecatingly.

“I’m putting up a wall. A wall that protects my pride and allows me to ignore what other people say. This is what happens when that wall disappears. What you just saw is what I really am.”

Even if I do this, won’t it fall off?

“I know, too. It’s ugly, and it’s proof that it can’t adapt to society. It’s a monster that can barely even bow its head. The only thing it knows how to do is magic. That assessment is not wrong.”

Will you still like me like this?

“….”

“That’s why I didn’t want to show it to you.”

A trauma of his own that he had never told anyone about for 28 years.

I confessed that to Lee Ho-yeon today.

Imsol himself couldn’t figure out why this was the result.

I got caught up in the atmosphere. Or maybe I only have a chance to talk now.

or.

Wouldn’t it be really okay?

I wonder if at least one person will understand me.

With a hint of anticipation.

“…Ha, Professor.”

Im Sol kept his mouth shut and waited for Lee Ho-yeon’s next words.

I decided not to have any expectations.

I definitely decided not to rely on others.

I resented myself for feeling this way.

“Professor, don’t think it’s strange. At least I don’t think so.”

“…Then what do you think?”

“yes?”

“What do you think of me? Im Sol, a social misfit and monster wizard… What do you think?”

Imsol, who spat out the words, immediately regretted them.

It was stupid.

It was so urgent.

How embarrassing it must be from the disciple’s point of view.

While having fun at a magic fair, a terrorist attack occurred, and one crazy bitch tried to stop the attack by himself and then had a seizure.

If I could, I wanted to turn back time.

It shouldn’t have been like this from the beginning.

It would have been best to just move on quietly.

Im Sol looked at Lee Ho-yeon. Lee Ho-yeon, who hesitated, spoke carefully.

“The professor is a professor.”

“… Yes. Thank you.”

Imsol, with a faint smile, turned his head.

It’s over now.

Hoyeon Lee gave a common answer.

After hearing the answer, Imsol couldn’t help but smile bitterly.

You are nice to someone who wants praise. Saying that is actually insulting.

It must be frustrating. I am so speechless.

Because there is nothing to praise that much.

Who would continue to follow such a dull person as a professor?

‘In the end, the disciples were the same.’

No, to be precise, the disciple was also ‘normal’.

Because he is different from his ‘abnormal’ self, he is ‘normal’.

Im Sol wished that Lee Ho-yeon would leave quickly.

Even though he hated his student so much, he was grateful to him for being considerate of him until the end.

“… In the end, the professor is a person named Lim Sol to me.”

Imsol slightly turned his head.

Lee Ho-yeon’s eyes seemed to have let go of everything, without any tension or caution.

With expectations that had almost disappeared, Imsol began to listen to his student.

“A person who pretends to be an adult even though there is not much of an age difference between them.”

“…?”

Imsol frowned.

This was because I could not understand the student who suddenly said something strange.

“And like a child, he likes sweets. He’s a strange professor who thinks he’s the most special person in the world, ignores all other wizards, and even entrusts important tasks to his students.”

“What are you saying now….”

A feeling of discomfort came over Lim Sol.

I started to hate my student, who I thought of myself like that, but who I pretended to be close to.

Was it all an act?

Was it really a relationship in which only he was comfortable?

Imsol, who was about to get angry, had no choice but to keep his mouth shut at the next words.

“But you look cute that way.”

“…Wh, what?”

And I opened my eyes wide.

The expression of displeasure on his face was replaced by embarrassment.

“The way he smiles brightly after eating chocolate, the way he is happy after finishing his magic research, the way he is more sincere than anyone else when teaching magic even though other people say he doesn’t understand. It’s all cute.”

“What are you saying? You, you really…!”

Imsol could not hide his embarrassment.

I wasn’t used to my student suddenly saying strange things.

“A person who prides himself on being the most capable wizard in the world, but also feels pressured by it. A weak person who calls himself a monster but wants someone to support him. I like that kind of Professor Lim Sol.”

“S-stop. Please….”

What should I do if someone hears it?

He tried to cover the disciple’s mouth with his hand, but his hand couldn’t move.

“Keu, keuh… keuhke.”

Lim Sol felt so resentful of Lee Ho-yeon, who was laughing to herself like that, that she tried to get angry.

“You, you. Do you really want to get scolded? Even pranks should have a limit. This isn’t a prank, it’s just unpleasant, and… ugh….”

But strangely, I wasn’t even angry.

What I feel at this moment is shame, a heated face, and a pounding heart.

Ho-yeon Lee even held on tightly to Lim Sol’s shaking hand.

“Professor, what I want to say is.”

Round and round.

It felt like the world was spinning.

The hand that Hoyeon Lee held was so hot that it felt like it would burn.

“Don’t push yourself too hard. I don’t care if the professor does something strange. That’s because it’s Lim Sol.”

“I-I….”

Excited. Excited.

The words spinning around in my mouth couldn’t stick together properly.

I felt like I was suffocating and my chest felt itchy.

I obviously wanted to say something, but I couldn’t open my mouth.

I felt like crying because I was so unfair.

I want to say.

My heart makes me speechless.

Lee Ho-yeon smiled slightly as he watched Im Sol purse his lips.

“You don’t have to be the best all the time. People say you’re a monster, so you don’t have to grind your teeth and study magic to show them what a monster is. Sometimes you just have to go out and relax. What if you’re a social misfit? The only people who are worse than me are people. “If there was a group that didn’t exist, I would abandon myself.”

Im Sol thought after hearing Lee Ho-yeon smile shyly.

The disciple says he doesn’t know anything.

What happened to me.

What I thought.

The human Lee Ho-yeon knows nothing.

The life of a person who has lived a difficult life can never be understood by a person who has lived an easy life.

That’s why I can cheer you on and tell you to cheer up because things will work out someday.

It is a selfish act that only thinks about oneself without considering the feelings of the person who has been broken so far.

Imsol hated such people.

however… Hoyeon Lee didn’t want to blame.

Imsol just opened his mouth and said whatever came to mind.

“For me, there’s only magic… That’s all I’ve known my whole life.”

Ho-yeon Lee heard Lim Sol’s answer and sighed in relief.

Still, it went as expected.

It was difficult to convince a woman who had only known magic her whole life, but we shared a lot of emotions.

Although it was only a short time, the only person who understood Imsol was himself.

This was proven by the accumulated favorability.

This might be enough to convince me.

“I am there.”

“….”

“I’ll help you. So you can do whatever you want.”

After hearing Lee Ho-yeon’s words, Im Sol kept her mouth shut.

I looked into space as if thinking about something, then looked at Hoyeon Lee again, and then looked into space again.

Lee Ho-yeon tilted her head at that sight, but Im Sol was trying her best to hold back her body trembling.

Excited. Excited.

‘Well, what is it? ‘Why am I like this?’

I couldn’t stand the pounding of my heart.

I need to answer that question, but I can’t think of anything to say.

Im Sol remembered a conversation he had with Baek A-young before.

‘Ayeong-ah. ‘Whenever you’re with someone, your heart flutters and your heart aches when you think negatively about that person, that’s love.’

This is what he answered while teasing Baek A-young, who said that whenever she thinks of that person, her heart flutters and her heart aches when she thinks negatively.

That was exactly the situation now.

When I look at Ho-yeon Lee, my heart starts pounding, and when I think about answering what Ho-yeon Lee says, I get very nervous.

It felt like my brain was holding on tightly, as if it was never going to give me a negative answer.

‘Wait a minute, this isn’t it. This isn’t it. really.’

Imsol wanted to protect the final Maginot Line.

He was a professor, and Hoyeon Lee was a cadet.

Baek Ah-young may claim to be a school nurse, but Im Sol was really a professor.

He had been teaching for several years, and was a proud professor who always received perfect grades in school evaluations.

Im Sol was also aware that the distance between him and Lee Ho-yeon was getting closer.

That’s why I started calling him ‘disciple’ in order to intentionally distance myself from him.

Calling me by my name felt like I was getting too close mentally.

It was the upper limit set by Lim Sol.

If we get any closer, we will no longer be teacher and student, but something more.

In the end, what Lim Sol, who had been fighting with herself in her head, finally said was a very foolish answer.

“Well, I’m a professor. You’re a cadet.”

‘It’s ruined.’

Imsol closed his eyes tightly.

I gave an answer that had absolutely nothing to do with the flow of the conversation.

How stupid will they look at me?

Meanwhile, Lee Ho-yeon, who was watching Im Sol like that, laughed as if it was absurd.

This person is like this again.

What did the professor say?

There is no law that says professors shouldn’t have a hard time, and there’s no law that says all cadets are under the professor.

‘There’s not much of an age difference between me and you.’

Some people might think that he is a really old person.

Lee Ho-yeon laughed and responded to Im Sol’s strange words.

“Anyway, don’t ever say something like that again, okay, Professor? No, Sol.”

Just like you always do.

We used the playful nickname Sol-niona, which we used when teasing each other or when we had something to be thankful for.

And when Imsol heard those words, her eyes widened.

pop-

Something inside her exploded.