episode_0162

Chapter 6 Episode 18 – Counseling 1

“Resurrecting people is such nonsense.”

“Okay. Even though I said it, I wonder what it means. To be more precise, I thought there might be some kind of mysterious power that could resolve this whole situation.”

Mr. Leger was asking in a voice too confident to be considered a joke.

Even though Mr. Leger has known me for a long time, the actual time we have been together is not that long. No matter how good your eye for seeing people is, how can you be so confident?

“Why did you think that?”

“……You are so aloof.”

“What if it’s just a lack of sense of crisis?”

“Is it possible that such a person is still alive today? And you haven’t lost a single subordinate so far. This is impossible for a person who lacks a sense of crisis. No, it is a feat that cannot be achieved by an ordinary human being in the first place.”

That’s definitely true. The reason the employees completely trust me is because there has not been a single death in the dangerous management bureau.

“To be honest, you are smart, but you are not smart enough to accomplish such a feat. If that’s the case, I can’t help but think that he has some special ability. Isn’t it?”

“……I won’t deny it.”

This guy knows me too well.

“So what do you want to say?”

“I have a favor to ask of you. Can you listen?”

“Unless it’s difficult.”

Leger, you should know how difficult it is… . he muttered before saying.

“…I hope you can return my men and Eli here to the way it was.”

“That’s it, it’s not that difficult.”

“Ha. is it. That’s amazing. What kind of abilities do you have? .”

Mr. Leger is smiling slightly with a somewhat relieved expression. When I saw that expression, I felt like some tension was relieved. I was never nervous in the first place, so what made me relax?

– It doesn’t matter if it’s not me, just tell it to someone. The things piled up here.

Suddenly, what Asha said came to mind.

‘Confide in someone.’

The only one who knows my situation is Banshee. However, there is something about consulting with her that makes me reluctant. Because I don’t know what the banshee will do if it gets hold of my weakness.

In that case, I’m going to retry anyway, so why not tell Mr. Leger?

She is the most dependable adult among the people around me. I was able to establish the idea for the management bureau thanks to Ms. Leger, and I was able to learn various things while working under her.

” Mr. Leger, I have something to discuss with you for a moment. Are you okay?”

“Hmm? It’s a big deal. You are consulting.”

As if he couldn’t bear it anymore, Mr. Leger, who was lighting a cigar, looked at me with interest.

“It’s okay. Anyway, all I have left is time.”

The smoke flowing from his mouth clouded Mr. Leger’s attention. The withdrawal symptoms seemed to have resolved to some extent, and life began to appear in my dull-looking eyes.

” Mr. Leger… . What would it be like if this world was fake?”

“……It’s fake?”

“Yes. What if this world was a world created by someone like a novel? What do you think?”

Mr. Leger tilted his head as if he was interested.

“Well. It’s hard to say because I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

“Well, that’s usually the case.”

“But… .”

She was choosing what to say.

“But I don’t think it will be of much concern.”

“You don’t care? Why?”

“Even if you find out it’s fake, nothing will change.”

The line, which originally should have felt empty, actually contained confidence.

“I will do my best in any environment. Even if it’s fake. So nothing will change.”

I nodded spontaneously. Because it was truly Mr. Leger’s answer.

“So, if this world is fake, how do you think other people will see it? They must all be characters created by the novel author.”

“Fake people in a fake world. Interesting. I used to think that way when I was young. I wonder if everyone else besides me is a robot.”

“It’s a thought that everyone would have when they were young.”

“Okay. yes. But as I got older and interacted with people, those thoughts slowly disappeared. Because I realize that everyone has their own life and their own thoughts… . Of course, even if they are robots or fake people that move according to the rules, I think what matters in the end is that I see them as real people.”

Phew–.

Mr. Leger exhaled cigarette smoke again, made eye contact with me, and asked.

“So what do you think?”

Mr. Leger may have simply asked my thoughts, but it had a slightly different meaning to me.

– Do you think I’m a fake person?

perhaps… . She might give me some answer.

“Mr. Leger. Let me tell you an interesting story. I don’t know if I believe it or not.”

*

I told Mr. Leger the truth about the world.

In fact, this world is a game world, and I am an outsider who was drawn into it for unknown reasons. In order to return to the original world, you have to clear the game, and the reason I manage these people called ‘Pixies’ is also related to clearing the game.

“You can start again… . Indeed, was that the true nature of the miracle?”

“It may seem like a miracle to those who don’t know, but in fact, it’s something that anyone can achieve if given infinite opportunities.”

“Is that really the case…? . Well, that aside. What do you want to discuss?”

It was nonsense, but Mr. Leger was listening seriously. Do you believe me, or are you just listening to my nonsense?

“What I want to discuss is about a problem that arises due to my circumstances.”

“It’s a problem… .”

“As I kept dying and starting over, I started to become insensitive to the deaths of others. The same applies even to my own death.”

“Hmm. It definitely has to be that way.”

“It’s okay to be insensitive to my death. The problem is that we become insensitive to the deaths of others. If I go back to reality like this, will I be able to lead a normal life? . I am not confident.”

Phew–

In the silence, Mr. Leger’s cigarette smoke dispersed.

“I don’t think I can lead a normal life… . Why do you think that?”

“The world I live in is a very peaceful world. There are no superpowers like the Gift, and humans are generally so weak that they go from life to death with a single shot. There are no monsters, and there is no devil trying to conquer the earth.”

“It’s an amazing place.”

“In my opinion, this is more interesting. Anyway, I want to live a normal life in my peaceful world. But what I experienced was far from ordinary. Rather, he is closer to a psycho who has lost his humanity.”

“Hmm… .”

Silence comes again. Mr. Leger was tapping the arm rest with his fingers, as if he was thinking about something.

“There was an old man I used to know.”

“…Suddenly?”

“Listen quietly. The old man’s job was to get up early every morning, sweep the yard, plant a small vegetable garden and share it with his neighbors, and he was so devout that he went to church every week. He was an ordinary old man who would sometimes prepare meals for his children to the point where their upper legs would bend when they came to visit with their families.”

“I see. So?”

“In fact, the old man was once a assassin who was famous in the underworld. More than a hundred people died by his hands. But no one knew that. Neighbors, family members, even his wife.”

“……What do you want to say?”

“In short, an ordinary life means that how a person lives is more important than what kind of person he or she is.”

“……You’re really bad at making analogies.”

“Noisy.”

I think I know what Mr. Leger wants to say. Even a person who has killed countless people can live a normal life if he wants, so I guess it would be possible for me too.

But in the end, isn’t that just pretending to be normal?

“I’m sorry I don’t have much to say.”

“Well, it’s still somewhat comforting.”

“Are you serious?”

“Then shall we say that it is useless even if it is small?”

“Even though it may be harsh to the ears, it is better than lies.”

“Honestly, it didn’t really impress me.”

“Hmm… .”

Seeing Mr. Leger lost in thought, I felt something incomprehensible.

‘Are you going to worry so much for me?’

Not bad.

“Hu… . It’s difficult. As expected, I’m bad at things like this.”

“There’s nothing we can do.”

“……Did you say that humanity seems to be disappearing?”

“Ah, yes.”

Tuk–. Before I knew it, the cigar had been smoked all the way to the end, and the only remaining cigar fell to the floor.

“I also had that thought once. I was so focused on raising my family that I treated my subordinates like tools. At that time, I thought it wouldn’t matter if my subordinates who had been with me for a long time died. As the boss of the family, I thought I had to kill my emotions and only think about the interests of the organization.”

M. Leger looked around, but there was no one around her anymore.

“I thought it would definitely be like that… . It wasn’t like that at all.”

Sadness fell into her eyes. Although he didn’t show any tears, it was clear that he was feeling a great sense of loss.

“If a beloved doll is broken, a child will cry. But what if the doll returns to its original state when you wake up one night? And if that situation repeats itself… . The child will no longer cry even if the doll is broken. So the child no longer cherishes the doll?”

“No. You might still cherish it, but you won’t be so careful about damaging it. Even if it breaks, it will be fixed when you wake up. On the contrary, they may treat you carelessly.”

“Hehe. Is it a difference of perspective? Or are you saying that because you have experience? . Well, what you say makes sense. But it would be nice to look at it from a slightly different perspective.”

Mr. Leger picked up a dirty doll discarded on the floor and dusted it off. Considering that this is a hospital, I wonder if the hospitalized child was playing with it.

“The reason a child feels sad when he sees a broken doll is because there is nothing else he can do. But if you knew how to fix that doll, you would move your body rather than be sad. To protect his precious doll. I actually think that the more the process is repeated, the more your love for the doll will grow. Because the effort put into that doll is increasing.”

“Is that really so?”

“That will happen. Because you are the proof.”

“……Me?”

What do you mean, I am the proof? Because I have Retry, I no longer care at all whether the heroine or the characters around her die or not.

“The reason that none of your subordinates have died is probably because you have protected them so far. It may not be as difficult as you, but I also lead an organization, so I know how difficult it is. But you said it yourself, the conditions for clearing the game are for the ‘pixies’ to be alive. Then why do you go to the trouble of protecting your subordinates?”

“……Because it was efficient.”

“Do you really think that way?”

For a moment, my head went blank.

Why did I repeat unnecessary retries every time a management office employee died?

There are many reasons. If an employee dies, the bureau will have fewer applicants and will have a hard time recruiting staff. Also, since they are all talented employees, it is difficult to replace them if they die.

‘…really?’

But is that the real reason? Or is it just a rationalization?

“Okay. You are efficient. Rather than mourning the deaths of his subordinates, he tried again to find a way to save everyone. I think it’s not a loss of humanity, but simply adapting to the situation in the most efficient way. Like a child who, when his doll breaks, quickly goes to bed and closes his eyes.”

“……You’re still really bad at making analogies.”

“Ha. I think it went pretty well this time.”

Mr. Leger looked at me and slowly raised the corner of his mouth.

“Is that your real smile? It looks good.”

Ah, it was me who was laughing.