episode_0213

“…This isn’t it.”

Crinkle.

“This is not it, this is not it…”

Crinkle.

The perfectly good letters are once again crumpled and thrown into the paper pile.

How many times have I crumpled up a perfectly good piece of paper out of embarrassment?

I looked at the pile of stationery that had grown to resemble a mountain, counted the number of stationery pieces left, and sighed as if the ground was sinking.

“Sigh…”

It was past midnight and soon dawn. It was way past my usual sleeping time, so if I delayed any longer, my nocturnal father would start to suspect me.

If he’s already under suspicion, and if he gets more suspicious here, won’t his father try to harm Jaeseok?

I immediately turned off the lantern and laid down on my soft bed.

Then I hugged the lovely tail that was as soft as a bed and fell into thought.

Why am I a coward in the face of love?

My mom and even my beastly dad have the courage to say they love me, so why can’t I express it?

“Is it true that I love Jaeseok?”

I muttered as a random thought suddenly occurred to me, but soon shook my head.

If your face gets hot when you think of that person, it must be love.

My heart is pounding and I don’t know what to do, I just wag my tail. If this isn’t love, then what is it?

“…I wish I could speak confidently like my mom and dad. Then I wouldn’t have to write letters like that.”

As I was rolling around here and there, unable to sleep due to my bitter feelings, after a while, a soft voice was heard outside the door along with a knocking sound.

[Are you sleeping?]

“No, come in. I’m not asleep yet.”

[Then excuse me for a moment.]

Bam.

The person who opened the door and entered the room was my grandmother, dressed in pajamas.

I smiled broadly at the sight of her wearing friendly clothes that kids her age would wear, rather than the elegant clothes she always wore.

“You look great together, Grandma. If you told me you were a teenager, I would believe you.”

“Really, can you stop calling me that old lady? Doesn’t that make you sound really old!”

“Aren’t you old?”

“…This fucking bitch is real.”

My aunt, who had fallen for the provocation, made a sharp expression and pinched my soft cheek without mercy. After being pinched like that for a while, I asked my aunt, who had a gloomy expression, a question.

“So, what brings you here this late at night? And in such comfortable attire?”

“I just came to see you because you seemed to have a lot on your mind. I also woke up to the sound of you tossing and turning and mumbling.”

“Ah.”

As I let out a sigh that was like a terminal sigh, my aunt took something out of her bosom and handed it to me.

“Take it.”

“What is this?”

“It’s a glass. If there’s something to drink, wouldn’t the conversation go smoothly?”

“You know I’m a minor, right?”

“I know, so I don’t plan on giving you alcohol. Just drink some soda.”

My aunt smiled and took out a few sodas, poured them into her glass, and opened her mouth.

“Let’s have a drink first and then start talking. I think the story will be quite long.”

“Yes.”

Bang!

My aunt emptied her glass with the clear sound of glasses clinking, followed by a gurgling sound, and then she filled my glass again and spoke to me.

“Your face looks like it has a lot of worries. It doesn’t seem to be because of grades or relationships… Is it because of love?”

“…”

“Looking at your expressions, it seems right. Phew, when it comes to worrying about love, both mother and daughter are exactly the same.”

Gulp gulp.

Ugh –

Aunt Grandma emptying her glass with a cool sound.

Seeing him drinking alcohol like it was water, I mustered up my courage and carefully held out my glass.

“Excuse me, can I have just one drink?”

“Um… I really want to give it to you, but unfortunately I can’t. I agree with the parenting policy your parents have established.”

“Tsk.”

Anyway, you are very picky.

I clicked my tongue and emptied the entire contents of the glass.

Then, feeling the atmosphere lighten a little, I asked my aunt quietly.

“Aunt Grandma.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“Have you ever loved someone, Grandma?”

“That’s right, I forgot everything now.”

“Then…”

I took a deep breath and confided my worries to my grandmother, who had a somewhat bitter smile on her face.

“Can you teach me how to have the courage to confess to someone I love? Or at least what to write in a love letter…”

Any method is fine.

If only I could confess to Jaeseok and win his love, I would do anything.

so.

“Please tell me, okay?”

As I spoke with a sense of urgency, my aunt giggled as she emptied her glass.

“Phew, you seem to be in a hurry. Hmm, what on earth happened at school to make that confident kid like this?”

Then, he ruffled my messy hair and whispered in a small voice that only I could hear.

“If it’s that desperate, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t confess, but if you can’t say it out loud, then there’s nothing you can do.”

My aunt got up from the bed, picked up one of the love letters piled in the corner, and lit a foxfire.

“When you go to school tomorrow, try to do what I tell you. Then you will find a way out.”

I quickly took out my notebook and started writing down what my aunt was saying, and by the time the long lecture on love was over.

Coco-daeak – !

The day of the decisive battle dawned with the crow of a rooster announcing the morning.

—–

After the third period break, the bell for class rang loudly.

Suddenly, I felt empty.

…is it because my childhood friend who always came to me lively during break time didn’t come?

No, it’s just that I feel empty because the person who used to come isn’t coming anymore.

Isn’t Seungje, who was next to me, thinking the same thing?

“Hey, when is your girlfriend coming?”

“She’s not my girlfriend, and why are you asking that?”

“You might be wondering! Wouldn’t it be a little strange if the person who always came to see you at this time suddenly stopped coming?”

“He’ll come when it’s lunchtime. He’s the kind of guy who makes a fuss to get more people to come, so there must be some reason.”

So the fourth period ended smoothly and lunch time arrived.

“Hey, Lee Jae-seok. He’s not coming?”

“…”

Jin-ha, who always tried to eat lunch and dinner with me no matter what, didn’t come to see me this time either.

Did something really happen?

No, that won’t be it.

Didn’t you see Jin-ha walking to school through the window this morning?

If something had happened to Jin-ha, there would have been chaos at school already.

He must not be coming because of unavoidable circumstances.

“First, let’s go have lunch together.”

“Aren’t you waiting for him?”

“There’s only 15 minutes left for lunch. If we keep waiting, we won’t be able to eat.”

It’s almost lunchtime.

I eventually gave up waiting for Jin-ha and ran to the cafeteria, only to return to my class after a hasty meal.

“Whoa, what the hell am I going through because of you?”

“Sorry, I’ll buy you something delicious at the store next time.”

“Oh, then the most expensive one!”

“Or whatever.”

I left Seungje alone, smiling happily, lost in thought.

What on earth could have happened that made you not come?

Is it something that is difficult to handle? But I always say that if it is difficult to handle, ask for help.

“…Should I go and visit there sometime?”

As I muttered softly, Seungje, who had been giggling while reading a novel next to me, turned his head and looked at me.

“Oh, right. I was thinking about it, have you ever gone to him first?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

“That’s right. You’ve never been there before. Right?”

I think carefully about Seungje’s words.

Have I ever approached Jin-ha first?

No. I just waited for Jin-ha to approach me, I never approached him first.

It didn’t stop there, and when they came near, he would push them away, saying it was annoying.

…wait for a sec.

Is Jin-ha waiting for me to approach him first? To check if I’m really his friend, or if I’m something else?

A very plausible guess.

I thanked Seungje, who was still staring at me blankly.

“Thank you, I almost lost my precious childhood friend.”

“Well, it seems to me like I’m going to lose my childhood friend somehow?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s just a feeling, a feeling. Whether I go and look for it or not, I feel like I’m going to lose my childhood friend.”

The guy Seungje muttered something incomprehensible and started to focus on reading the novel again, and I tilted my head at the guy’s incomprehensible words.

Losing your childhood friend?

It’s clear that you’ll lose it if you don’t go for it, but what does it mean to say that you’ll lose it even if you go for it?

I thought about it over and over again, but I couldn’t find an answer until class was over, so I went to see Jin-ha as soon as break time came.

Knock knock.

As I open the sliding door and go in, the first thing that catches my eye is the golden, splendid childhood friend.

But, seeing his gloomy face contrasting with his bright appearance, I quickly ran to him and helped him up.

“Let’s talk for a minute.”