episode_0035

There is a saying about the boiling pot frog syndrome.

If you put a frog in boiling water from the beginning, the frog will jump out saying, “Oh, damn, it’s so hot,” but if you put it in lukewarm water and slowly boil it, the frog will be cooked without even realizing it.

Why am I suddenly talking about this?

Well, I need to use the “boiling pot frog syndrome” for this content.

Just like a post saying, “Our dog is too clingy, what should we do?” if I choose a disgustingly minor abnormal sexual desire post from the beginning, all the viewers who just came in will disappear.

Even the existing viewers might leave because they find my broadcast disgusting.

So, I need to start with something moderately funny and major abnormal sexual desire post.

The abnormal sexual desires of moderate abnormal sexual desire individuals will corrupt normal people, making them unable to respond even to strong abnormal sexual desires.

Now, what should I choose?

What abnormal sexual desire post will make everyone laugh and be satisfied?

Honestly, I’m not sure.

Except for a few really disgusting posts, most of them look similar.

They all seem to be dealing with abnormal sexual desires and crazy sex lives, but it feels a bit weak, doesn’t it?

As I pondered among various posts, I decided to go with the safest choice, [Woodcutter].

“I’ll read the first story for you! The title is [Woodcutter of 8 years… Luckily, still not caught by the neighborhood residents]!”

As I gently said the title with a melting tone, the viewers started to laugh but also looked confused.

– I’ll read it all ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

– Damn, laughing so hard ㅋㅋㅋㅋ if I don’t kick the blanket at night, I’m lucky ㅋㅋ

– Something feels off when you read the title… something… just stood up…

– My… I feel weird… It should be disgusting, but it feels comfortable…

– What kind of streamer reads that directly, damn ㅋㅋㅋ but it really feels disgusting… hehe…

Reactions of feeling disgusted yet intrigued.

I thought I chose a moderately disgusting post, but even pure normal sexual desire individuals seemed to find it disgusting.

Seeing that there were no reactions of feeling like throwing up, it seems like the disgusting nature of the post was well balanced by the soothing voice of Gumiho.

Only two viewers left after hearing the title, so it seemed like I did a decent job.

As the incoming viewers are slowly recovering from the shock, let’s read the post.

I quickly scanned through the post and, confirming that there were no traps, I read it aloud.

“Hello, streamer? I’m a 27-year-old man who frequently watches your broadcasts.”

“Since you mentioned that you will be confessing about abnormal sexual desires today, I would like to share my peculiar sexual barrier that is still ongoing.”

“It all started in my third year of high school.”

“At that time, there was a small mountain between my house and school, and I had to climb up and down that small mountain every day to go to school.”

“During my first and second year of high school when the college entrance exam stress was low, I went to school normally, but starting from the peak of college entrance exam stress in my third year, I began to feel strange.”

From the next sentence onwards, the calm madness revealed itself, and I took a deep breath before reading the post again.

“That day, I had a big fight with my parents from the morning.”

“Since the school meals were tasteless, I stopped eating them and brought my own lunchbox, but that day, my mother only prepared soy sauce and tofu for the lunchbox.”

Receiving delicious and hearty lunch boxes every day, but suddenly only receiving tofu and soy sauce made my young heart pout. So, I ended up fighting with my mother and storming out with just the tofu, not even thinking about grabbing the soy sauce.

In the title “Woodpecker,” tofu… Surely this crazy person wouldn’t actually stick their genitals into a tree, right?

I wanted to throw away the post I was reading and immediately move on to another one, but…

Checking the viewer count, it seemed to have increased, not decreased, so I gritted my teeth and continued reading the post.

“Already suffering from exam stress, having nothing but tofu for lunch was unacceptable for me.”

“As a result, I suffered from extreme stress, and the outcome of that stress was nothing but a crazy sexual desire.”

“Is it really true that everything in the world is disgusting? But among them, the most disgusting thing was…”

“The wooden holes that were just the right size for me to stick my thing into.”

…Crazy bastard.

How many holes are there in the world to stick it in, and yet they choose to stick it into a tree?

More importantly, no matter how soft the material of the wood is, if you do it raw, wouldn’t the tip of the thing start to split properly from the end?

With the inherent toxicity of the wood itself, the various bacteria living in the holes, and the mold, wouldn’t it be unsafe for the thing to be stuck in the wood until now?

Now, Woodpecker was more awe-inspiring than disgusting, so I struggled to organize my confused thoughts and threw a question at the person who wrote this post.

“Are you okay down there? It seems like your story is about getting messed up by sticking it in the wrong place.”

Asking sincerely, Woodpecker kindly answered while donating 5,000 won.

“At first, I needed lubricant, and my thing was quite injured due to the rough bark of the wood, but now I’m trained enough to be okay even if I do it raw.”

“…Doing it raw? Does that make any damn sense?”

“Well… When having fun with a woman, it feels like I’m doing it without any barriers. The stiff taste is quite exquisite! I’ve become a body that can no longer be satisfied with human women.”

As the voice donation flowed gently from the speaker, the Fox God, having heard everything, looked at the screen with a gaze of awe.

– If what the author says is true, they must be experiencing a love that transcends races. Of course, from the perspective of the wood being stuck in, it may not be enjoyable, but still.

A voice mixed with admiration and disdain.

Having heard the Fox God’s words, I quietly turned off the microphone.

“Enjoyable or not, who the hell makes calluses on their thing? That’s really a mental illness!”

– Calluses on the genitals… If you stick it in, wouldn’t it feel somewhat different? There might even be demand for it in certain fields.

“Stop talking nonsense. Just one human is enough to make me lose my mind, why are you even entertaining this crazy person?”

Ignoring the giggling Fox God, I turned the microphone back on and started reading the post again.

“I’ll read it again. I estimated the size of my thing once and, as if possessed, approached the hole.”

“With lubricant, it was a perfect hole for sticking my thing in. But, as a high school senior at the time, there was no way I had the best thing, right?”

“So, I stuck the tofu my mother gave me into the hole… Hey, you crazy bastard!!! How dare you stick your lunch in the hole saying you don’t have the best thing?!”

Expressing disdain for his remarkable sexual desire, other viewers laughed heartily and ridiculed “Woodpecker.”

– ??? : For the sake of sexual desire, one can give up insignificant things like appetite as much as they want!

By the way, starting with injecting white protein from the beginning… Isn’t this a bit too explicit?

– That’s really insane, lol. Boss, did you choose something too strong from the start? Are all the newbies going to die?

– I thought I was enough of a pervert with abnormal sexual desires, but in front of real madness, I’m nothing…

– To achieve satisfying pleasure, one must be willing to give up even lunch… Truly an amazing individual…

– In reality, isn’t someone like that the true top 1%? If they can fulfill their sexual fantasies, they’re in the top 1% of men… Seriously…

These would be infuriating words for someone with a normal mindset, but who was this Tree Pounder again?

Wasn’t he the crazy guy who converted stress into sexual desires and pounded tofu into trees?

Through voice donations, he explained the feeling of being pounded by a tree to all viewers, including me.

[Honestly, there’s nothing like being pounded by a tree. You just have to take it without any resistance, right? And do you guys know how it feels when it hits the knot? You don’t know, do you? The texture of the decaying part due to mold is different, the rough bark that feels like life is going back and forth feels different, and the slight pleasure that comes from the dampness when it reaches the completely dead heartwood can’t be described in words. If you catch a good tree, it becomes an amazing onahole, don’t you know that, you ignorant fools.]

Truly amazing.

Judging by his explanation, it doesn’t seem like he wasted eight years pounding trees in vain.

I admit it.

You’re not just a fashion abnormal sexual desire person, you’re a true abnormal sexual desire person.

I confessed to Tree Pounder in voice donations and in the chat that I failed to reform him.

“It seems even God can’t handle such severe abnormal sexual desires, so I will give you a day’s ban. Take a break.”

I mercilessly banned Tree Pounder and forcibly restored my depleted mental strength to start looking for the next post.

“…My mental strength is more depleted than I thought. I’ll just read the next post and wrap up the confession content.”

If I add more to this, my sanity might be the first to run away.