episode_0001

I had a dream.

I was searching for a killer manga in HyXmi, but as soon as I took a step back, the owner of that body appeared.

Well, to be precise, only the voice appeared, right? The owner of that suddenly appearing body told me to become a martyr and then took away the most precious thing to me.

A pitiful and boring life-saving tool that kept me from committing suicide.

A tool that allowed me to experience the greatest pleasure in the world, but only I could use it without any cost.

Yes, that thing you’re thinking of. The Aga Factory Operating Machine.

Or should I say, a 10-month supply of menstrual vaccine injector?

Anyway, it was a truly dreadful nightmare.

Losing the most precious thing and gaining the most dreadful thing in a nightmare.

“Hehehe… Yeah, damn it… It must be a dream… I wanted to do it with a fox deity, not become a fox deity and do it…”

I opened my eyes.

Familiar ceiling, familiar background.

Nothing seemed to have changed. Except for the unnecessarily clear vision.

“Did I sleep with glasses on yesterday? Why is my vision so clear? Wait… damn it, the voice.”

A low tone but not a husky voice, rather a quite clear voice. At least, this voice was not originally mine.

“So, you finally changed… this damn bastard…”

– Calling me a damn bastard is too high of a title for you. If you use such vulgar language one more time…

“What will happen if I use vulgar language? Huh? What will happen? If you want to kill me, just do it. I can’t feel the joy of life anymore since my precious thing is gone…

– Are you someone without attachment to life? Then why?

“Well, because you took everything I had. Do you have to take everything to feel relieved?”

Speaking with a tone of resignation as if giving up everything, the fox deity spoke to me with a worried voice.

– This is serious. If there is no regularity, both you and I will cease to exist.

“What does it matter if you cease to exist or not? Wait, then it’s fine, right? Death as a price for making my precious thing disappear… Haha… a truly perfect price.”

– Noisy. If you continue to be uncooperative, I have my ways too.

“There’s none. If there were, I would have done it by now. Like taking over my body, or forcibly moving my body.”

As if hitting a nerve, the being who introduced herself as the fox deity closed her mouth and fell silent.

“Ugh… damn it, I wanted to be the one pounding the fox deity, I never once thought about becoming a fox deity and being pounded.”

– …It’s all because of your sinful karma. Why did you see my deity… ugh…!

“What can I do if I’m attracted to you! Hey, be honest. If you were in front of a really delicious food and someone said ‘eat it,’ would you not eat it? Huh?”

– I endured such desires through ascetic practices. Probably won’t eat it.

“Don’t bullshit me. How can a mere beast resist instincts? And you, you’re wagging your tail right now. Aren’t you?”

– Ugh…!

With a frustrated groan, she seemed to be in pain, I sighed and spoke.

“First, show your true form. You know as well as I do that this appearance won’t give any answers.”

– …I don’t know what you might do. Therefore, I won’t reveal myself.

“No, you know what kind of person you are, whether I do something or not, right? Honestly, if you really are a damn bitch, I’ll probably go collect that energy or whatever it is, even if it’s a waste, won’t I?”

– Is that so? Then wait a little. I need to prepare my heart too.

“Tsk, you were just being shy. Fine, take your time and come out slowly. I need to see the changed appearance too.”

Confirming that the owner of the voice remained silent, I went to the bathroom to check my changed appearance.

Clearly, it would be an embarrassing sight, but seeing it in person is definitely different from imagining it.

So when I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, I could only stare blankly at the mirror.

Because I couldn’t think of any words to describe the woman in front of me.

Beauty that could close the moon and shame the flowers?

The beauty that could overturn a nation?

No, it would be better to use the vulgar words I usually use.

She stood.

No, she would have stood if she had actually been there.

And I would have probably covered her without any thought.

Even if she was just passing by.

Golden hair that sparkled like gold.

Eyes as red as rubies crafted into perfection.

Beautiful skin that resembled jade but looked healthy enough.

A milk dispenser that any cow would envy for its plump cheeks.

And finally… nine fluffy tails protruding from her buttocks.

Disgusting.

I never thought I would be attracted to a real 3D woman, not just a 2D character. No, is she even beyond 3D?

As I pondered, the fox deity spoke again.

– Behold, are you ready to witness the beauty of this lady? Are you prepared to see her beauty and grace?

“…Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be surprised by anything I see now. If I can’t see anything more beautiful than this, I don’t think I’ll be impressed at all.”

– What a funny thing to say! Is there any reason why I am not more beautiful than you? Now, look! Behold her beauty and grace! Do not be stunned into silence!

As the fox deity spoke, she revealed herself in the air, and the moment I saw her body and face, I once again stood there with my mouth agape.

“The fox is truly a mesmerizing being. She seems like a dangerous presence.”

– Have you suddenly calmed down? What nonsense are you talking about? Isn’t it natural for a fox to mesmerize people?

“I thought there was nothing more surprising here, but there was still something more to be surprised about. It feels like beauty has disappeared from the world.”

Indeed.

Even as I looked at my body just now, I couldn’t feel any attraction at all, so it was clear that the appearance and body of this so-called fox deity were deceptive.

“…How much did you invest in your appearance? With that level, you must have devoured several countries.”

– Haha, I did actually devour some countries. Unfortunately, I was sealed after ruining one, but that’s how it goes.

Feeling chills from her lament, I spoke to her.

“If the person I’m supposed to serve looks this attractive, then it’s worth listening to. The semi-realistic drawing I saw earlier couldn’t capture even 1% of your allure.”

– Nevertheless, that artist’s skills were quite exceptional. They couldn’t even capture a speck of my beauty and grace in their time.

“Enough boasting now, so what do you suggest we do to live together? I heard something about absorbing energy earlier, but you’re not going to suggest I engage with a man using this body, are you?”

If she says that, I’ll bite my tongue and commit suicide immediately.

As I thought about her, she spoke to me in a gentle voice.

– There’s no need to merge our bodies. While achieving the harmony of yin and yang is the best way to absorb energy, it might be too burdensome for you, who was a man until just now.

“Thank you for your consideration. But is there another way to absorb energy?”

– It’s simple. Extract love-related emotions from others. It may not be as effective as yin-yang harmony, but it could still prolong your life.

Love-related emotions…

Do I have to do something like an idol that doesn’t even exist in my palm reading?

No, that’s absurd.

If I, a vulgar shut-in, were to do such a thing outside, I would soon fall into depression.

“The more targets, the better, right? Even to prolong my life, and to you, who knows what you’re planning, right?”

Yes, I have appointed you as the apostle of the main character and expended considerable power. If you do not perform within a week, I will be annihilated.

“If I am annihilated, will I, as the apostle, also be annihilated?”

“You’re quicker on the uptake than I thought. Yes, you will also be annihilated with me. It’s as if we never existed in this world from the beginning.”

At her eerie words, I grabbed my throbbing head and spoke up.

“Damn it… I realize I have a shitty hand now? What a mess to get involved with some weird spirit like this.”

“W-what? A spirit? Even if I look like this…!”

“It’s not right to say that when you’re dealing with a god who will disappear if you do nothing here for a week. Some people are born to challenge even the most famous figures.”

It’s confusing.

Starting with a body swap and then doing nothing for a week, or what? Even if you do nothing, if you don’t achieve anything, you’ll be erased from the world.

Why did this only happen to me?

I just watched some crappy manga and had a normal happy time.

I can’t understand.

No, I don’t want to understand.

“Ha, idols don’t want to die, entertainers and actors have no sense, can’t act, and won’t last long. Athletes… what do you expect from a hikikomori loser.”

I just don’t like going out, let alone being active.

If I liked going out and being active, I wouldn’t be living in this cramped single room hitting the sack three times a day.

So what’s left?

Things you can do without leaving the house.

And yet, if given the chance, you can become famous enough.

If you become famous, you can make enough money just by being criticized.

Internet broadcasting.

“This is it.”