episode_0010

When Mira closed her eyes, memories of that time and the happy moments resurfaced. Her heart yearned to remain lost in those memories forever.

When she recalled the past in her mind, she could be free from the bitter pain and suffering of reality.

The Yunyoung she longed for was by her side. He held her hand tightly, promising not to leave her alone. That alone brought her immense joy and happiness. She, too, wanted to stay by his side forever.

But on the other hand, there was a part of her that realized this was an impossible fantasy. The more she tried to ignore it, the more intensely and mischievously it forced itself into her awareness.

Memories flashed by: the scene of the accident where Yunyoung was hit by a truck, the funeral home mourning his death, and the days she spent curled up in a dark room.

The Yunyoung smiling in front of her… was already dead. He was a being who couldn’t possibly exist in reality. In the blink of an eye, his form faded, then vanished like mist.

When Mira opened her eyes, everything had evaporated. All that remained were small tears welling at the corners of her eyes.

Why did she miss him so much?

Time, far from making her forget the sorrow of separation, made it increasingly agonizing. Her longing grew like a snowball rolling down a snowfield, crushing and pressing down heavily on Mira’s heart.

For a while, Mira sobbed quietly in that spot. Even though she cried every day, her tears didn’t dry up; they simply poured out endlessly.

She still couldn’t believe he had left her behind first. When would she be able to accept Yunyoung’s death?

She felt that she should bear the guilt for as long as she lived, given that she was the one who caused Yunyoung’s death, but it was too difficult and agonizing. His existence was more than just a lover; he was someone who had become a light in her life.

It should have been her who was hit by the car.

It should have been her who died.

She had thought many times that it was the logical outcome, but the reality that had occurred could not be reversed.

Mira, still sniffling, wiped her eyes.

She was outside, where others might notice her. She didn’t want anyone to see her tear stains. Moreover, Yunyoung’s family and acquaintances were also visiting. She might even run into them as they came out of the building.

Yunyoung’s mother didn’t like Mira crying. Even though they were both there to mourn the loss of a loved one, Mira was the one who had caused her to lose her son.

No matter how much she cried and atoned, she wouldn’t be looked upon kindly.

Mira was about to go to the restroom to wash her face.

Just then, a crunching sound came from beside her. A man was standing there. Under his foot was a broken twig, which he seemed to have stepped on unknowingly.

He wasn’t a stranger. It was Minho, Yunyoung’s friend, who had helped Mira at the funeral last year. Minho, caught off guard, spoke sheepishly.

Mira wiped her tears with the back of her hand as she greeted him.

Minho, like Mira, had also come to visit the columbarium on Yunyoung’s death anniversary. He was Yunyoung’s closest friend, so there was no way he would forget a day like this.

Mira had turned her head away to hide her tear-stained face from Minho. Noticing this, Minho quietly approached Mira and offered her something. It was a pack of tissues.

Mira said, her voice muffled and still thick with tears. She wiped the tear stains from her cheeks with the tissue. Minho, watching her, carefully asked.

The gloomy Mira wanted to be alone. However, she had received help from Minho on several occasions, including this one, so it was difficult to refuse him.

Minho, sitting beside her, couldn’t easily strike up a conversation with Mira. He seemed to be waiting for Mira to compose herself to some extent.

After a few minutes, Minho carefully opened his mouth.

Mira didn’t reply and sniffled. Her nose wouldn’t stop running.

At his words, she turned her head and blew her nose with a tissue.

Minho asked.

Yunyoung’s family members were in the lounge on the first floor. Minho knew that Mira felt uncomfortable around the family, so he intentionally mentioned the existence of the second-floor lounge.

This bench was outdoors, behind the columbarium building.

There was only a short walking path and a lawn, and it seemed unlikely anyone would purposely come all the way here in the cold weather, so Mira had chosen this quiet spot.

Minho, who had briefly seen Mira inside the columbarium earlier, had wondered if she had left and was looking around when he discovered her here. A brief, awkward silence fell.

Minho took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, pulled one out, then asked again.

Mira’s heart wavered at his words.

If it could fill her empty heart, if it could even slightly relieve her suffering from reality, she didn’t much care about her health.

Saying so, Mira, who was about to take just one cigarette, paused. A memory of Yunyoung flashed through her mind.

Yunyoung had told Mira that he liked that she didn’t drink or smoke. He’d said that these days everyone did at least one of the two, but such things only made your body sick. He had told her that he would live long and healthily to live happily with Mira.

As that memory resurfaced, the thought of smoking completely vanished. Minho, seeing Mira pause, asked curiously,

Mira didn’t want to change the part of herself that Yunyoung had liked. Now that Yunyoung was dead, such an action felt like pointless stubbornness and held no real benefit.

But it didn’t matter. It made her feel more at ease. She didn’t want to do anything Yunyoung disliked. Because even though Yunyoung was dead, she still considered herself Yunyoung’s girlfriend, his woman.

Given Mira’s repeated refusals despite his several offers, Minho seemed to give up. He put the cigarette pack back in his pocket.

Mira asked, concerned that he might not smoke because of her.

After a brief silence, Minho opened his mouth.

Mira’s body trembled slightly. When Yunyoung’s mother encountered Mira at the columbarium earlier, she had sharply screamed,

Minho, who had been present, had witnessed the entire situation. Afterward, when he couldn’t see Mira, he had worried and looked around this area.

Mira spoke with a weak, forlorn voice.

Ever since that day, Mira had been consumed by guilt.

No matter how many times she thought about it, she was the one who had caused Yunyoung to be involved in the accident and die. It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried to think positively or look on the bright side.

Because she was so tired and exhausted, she had tried to defend herself, hoping to lighten her burden even a little, but the conclusion was always the same.

It was all her fault.

If she had paid attention to both sides of the road when crossing, such a tragic event would not have occurred.

It wasn’t something that required great difficulty or skill; it was a simple task that even children could do. Yet, Mira had failed to do so, causing Yunyoung to lose his life.

At the time, she had rushed into the crosswalk, desperate to run to Yunyoung as quickly as possible. Though that urge was to quickly hold her lover’s hand and walk together, the result of her carelessness was horrific.

As both their happiness was shattered.

Mira said lightly, as if it were nothing.

Minho, enraged by her attitude, raised his voice.

After saying that, Mira stood up from her seat.

She didn’t want to talk to Minho anymore. She thought whatever he said was worthless, just idle talk anyone could spout.

There was no one who could understand her pain and sorrow.

Even her own family didn’t understand her, let alone a stranger with whom she shared no blood.

Minho grabbed Mira’s wrist as she was about to leave.