episode_0042

“……”

Yoohee’s expression shifted from confusion to calmness, and she opened her mouth with a composed voice.

“So?”

“So what… What should we do from now on–”

“Break up?”

“…!”

Yoohee’s eyes, devoid of focus, glared at me fiercely. The eyes before she opened up her heart. They were the eyes that looked down on me, just like when I first brought her home.

“I don’t care what you say.”

“……”

It’s a lie.

If I suggest breaking up, things will surely go back to how they were before. She’ll ignore me every time she sees me, and our conversations will be reduced to the bare minimum. I don’t want to go back to those days.

It must not happen. I didn’t want to part ways with Yoohee again.

“We’re not breaking up.”

“…!”

“Why are you making that face?”

“Oh, you. It’s just…”

I gently stroked Yoohee’s head and embraced her. I could feel the warmth of Yoohee’s body under the blanket, and I could feel her nose touching my chest.

“I thought we were breaking up….”

“There’s no way that’s happening.”

This moment is good. It’s good to be able to talk to Yoohee like this. Her cool yet kind demeanor, and the way she becomes more playful at night, are all good.

Who would want to break up with a girlfriend like her?

“Because I love you, Yoohee.”

“……Yeah.”

Dating itself is not illegal, at least. It’s not a legal issue to say it’s a fact. But there is a moral and ethical consciousness, and it is something frowned upon globally. If rumors spread, it’s only a matter of time before it all falls apart.

“I have to somehow persuade Jihee….”

There must be a way, no matter how close she is to Jihee. It will eventually spread. I have to prevent it, even if I have to resort to dirty tricks.

For the sake of me and Yoohee’s future.

—

“Hello.”

“Yeah.”

The next day. I called Jihee. Perhaps she was aware of it herself, as she mentioned she had something to say. Yoohee came along, but I didn’t want to burden Jihee, so I came alone.

A cafe near Seoul National University Station, at a suitable distance. It was perfect for having a serious conversation without drawing much attention.

Even though we didn’t say anything, we both wore formal attire, which almost made me laugh.

“It’s hot… Is your house okay?”

“I always keep the air conditioning on….”

“Yeah….”

“……”

When I tried to bring up the topic, words failed me. The atmosphere became awkward, and it seemed like we would just finish our coffee and leave. People who come alone and finish their coffee while waiting for someone.

“Boss.”

As I hesitated, Jihee spoke first. Her firm and upright expression made it clear that she wasn’t joking.

I couldn’t be wishy-washy. I came to persuade Jihee. At least to avoid receiving a general notice, I had prepared a lot.

For example, a white envelope in my jacket pocket.

“I’m sorry!”

“!?”

Contrary to the tense situation, Jihee suddenly bowed her head.

“I said something strange to the boss yesterday…. I must have made you uncomfortable… I’m sorry….”

“Ah….”

As I reached for my pocket to prepare myself, my hand stopped. And with a sense of relief, my tense body relaxed, causing me to blurt out something strange.

“Phew….”

“Boss…?”

“Cough. It’s nothing.”

“What’s wrong~”

“Ahaha… Anyway, thank you for apologizing. It was a bit unsettling.”

“I’m sorry….”

“It’s okay now.”

It seems it was just a simple assumption after all. What I seriously thought about with Yoohee yesterday now seemed foolish.

The awkward atmosphere lightened, and their expressions brightened, but Jihee still seemed to have something to say as she didn’t make a move to leave.

“Boss. You mentioned it yesterday, right. Do you like me?”

“Yesterday…? Ah…”

─Could it be… that you like me?

I remembered the excuse I had thought of to try to smooth things over. I felt sorry for coming up with a hasty excuse, trying to force logic to fit, and I apologized to Jihee.

“That’s right… I’m sorry──”

“I like you.”

“……”

A moment of silence passed between us. It was almost as quiet as if there were no sound at all, but gradually the sound of people chatting started to come back.

“What… did you say…?”

“I like… you.”

Even though I asked for confirmation, the answer didn’t change. It wasn’t a misunderstanding. Looking at Jihee with a bewildered expression, she averted her gaze elsewhere.

I could see the expression on her face, hoping for some kind of response, as the cool air in the cafe made her ears turn red as if she had caught a heatwave from outside.

“From when…?”

“Probably… from the beginning.”

“From the beginning…?”

No matter how hard I tried to remember, I couldn’t recall Jihee trying to appeal to me after she joined the company. If she had been like Suhyun, it might have been different, but I had only seen her in the office, and nowhere else. We had only met a few times on weekends recently.

“Yes… I realized my feelings for you from that time. The day you came back from your business trip… with… your butt…”

“……”

As soon as I heard the word “butt,” I remembered. I had resisted the temptation of Team Leader Shin and ended up fitting perfectly between Jihee’s buttocks on the subway, as if it were meant to be mine. I had indirectly committed a sin against Jihee.

“I apologize for that. I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one to apologize… I involved Manager Choi in a lie…”

“A lie… oh, so that’s what it was.”

“I’m sorry…”

I may have done something, but the fact remained that we were not dating. After all, I had Yoohee. But even so, I had no intention of accepting her confession, not even before that.

Even now, I just thought of her as a close colleague at work. It was like how childhood friends don’t seem like potential partners, I didn’t see Jihee as a romantic interest.

“Jihee──”

“No! You don’t have to give me an answer!”

“……”

“I just… wanted to tell you my thoughts. Anyway, you have Yoohee…”

“That’s true, but…”

“Goodbye.”

“Jihee!”

Jihee quickly got up from her seat and hurriedly ran out. I tried to chase after her, but for some reason, my legs wouldn’t move.

“Sigh…”

I felt pathetic for feeling relieved that I hadn’t been caught. But if I chased after her now, I was afraid of what Jihee might say to me.

“Darling… you’re back…?”

“Yeah. But why are you panting like that?”

When I returned home with a guilty conscience, Yoohee greeted me at the entrance, sweating profusely.

“I did some exercise…”

“I see…”

“What happened?”

“It was just a misunderstanding.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, about that woman… I’m going to take a shower, want to join me…?”

“No… it’s okay.”

“But──”

“No. Not today.”

“…Alright.”

“I’m sorry.”

Yoohee went into the bathroom with a lonely look on her back. Somehow, I felt sorry, but there was something weighing on my mind that prevented me from joining her.

Clearly, our relationship ended in misunderstanding, and Jihee’s confession was also concluded. The incident was over. However, it still felt uneasy. Not having a clear resolution made it all the more uncomfortable.

I thought I would forget about Yuhee when I saw her, but I didn’t. It was the first time I didn’t get excited when I saw Yuhee.

“Is this what love feels like….”

Even though we had only been together for three years, we had built a good relationship, never fought once. She would occasionally give me birthday presents, buy souvenirs on business trips, we had a good relationship between a friendly boss and employee.

But now that those feelings had turned into ‘love,’ and being rejected, it felt like all the closeness we had built up had disappeared in an instant, replaced by a sudden sense of distance.

“Sigh….”

I felt a heavy sense of guilt.

—

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

Suhyun’s calm voice cooled my hot and bothered heart. I had barely spoken recently. I couldn’t help it because she kept asking me to do so.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah.”

The office felt cool, maybe that’s why the overall tension had dropped. What’s the point of having high tension at work anyway. There were other reasons for the low tension, but they were separate.

“Have some coffee.”

“Thanks.”

Suhyun handed me a sweet coffee. The caffeine quickly woke me up from my drowsiness, making my fingers move faster.

“Is Jihee coming today?”

“No, she… hasn’t been in touch at all.”

Jihee took a half-day off. For a week. Combined with her summer vacation, it’s 10 days. Today is the third day.

“….”

“Are you really worried?”

“Not really. People need to rest. Jihee hasn’t rested enough.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Manager Choi still didn’t know what had happened between us. It seemed like we had agreed not to show any signs in the office, so he didn’t seem particularly worried about Jihee. But the real problem was something else.

“There’s no way not to worry.”

The day after that incident was Monday. Unable to sleep, I arrived at the office early, and on Jihee’s desk, there was a white envelope.

“Resignation letter.”

Only then did I realize what had been making me anxious.

Our department still doesn’t know that fact.

“Boss?”

“Yes?”

“….Never mind.”

And for some reason, Manager Choi’s expression seemed to darken a bit.