episode_0050

Suddenly, what nonsense is this?

Did those words of parting really come from Jiwon’s mouth?

Why is she acting like this all of a sudden? There doesn’t seem to be any pain.

Watching Jiwon for a long time, her eyes held a gaze devoid of falsehood.

She’s not joking around, she really meant it when she said let’s break up.

“Why all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. My feelings have just cooled off, and I want to break up.”

Saying that, Jiwon quickly finished her meal.

She started packing her bag.

There wasn’t much stuff anyway.

But she tried to take whatever she had.

“No, really. Why are you doing this? Why like this…”

As I spoke in confusion, Jiwon looked at me like that and said,

“I’m sorry… but I’m thinking about you.”

Leaving behind those meaningful words, Jiwon just went out.

I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know how to act in the events that unfolded in an instant.

I just… had a headache.

**

Jiwon left, and a week passed.

Where could she have gone?

I checked the subway station first to find out.

I thought about looking into nearby one-room apartments, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Thinking that way, I came back home and looked at the now lonely house.

Something feels too quiet in the house.

I put down my bag, entered the house, and looked around Jiwon’s empty room.

Tears inexplicably welled up in my eyes.

“Ah… seriously. This is ridiculous.”

I lived well without Jiwon before.

But why is it like this now?

I was fine without her, so why does my heart ache like this, I don’t understand.

This won’t do.

Let’s eat out today.

Staying inside the house will only make my heart ache.

It’s better to go out for a while rather than stay at home.

With that thought, I opened the front door and stepped outside.

And as I stepped out,

“Oh…”

“Huh…?”

Stepping outside, in front of the convenience store, I saw Jiwon.

Jiwon stood there silently, staring at me as if frozen, and then…

“Hello.”

“Yeah.”

We exchanged greetings, and she began to walk away.

“Hey!!! Stop right there!!!”

I ran and caught Jiwon as she turned back.

“Where have you been all this time?”

Grabbing onto Jiwon, I asked, and she, caught off guard, started looking for people in the neighborhood.

Why is she making me out to be the bad guy?

While still holding her, I asked where she had been all this time, and she simply said nothing had happened.

So where exactly is this “nothing” place?

I was starting to think we couldn’t communicate at all.

“Just… near a goshiwon.”

She quietly mentioned she had been at a goshiwon.

A goshiwon.

There’s one nearby.

One goshiwon costing around 100,000 won per month.

Small, poor soundproofing, not highly rated, but affordable, often used by young adults starting out in society.

And Jiwon was there.

“Sigh… Let’s at least go back home for a bit and talk.”

“N-no!”

As I tried to lead her back home, Jiwon refused and started pulling her hand away from mine.

“I’ve been living just fine on my own! So don’t worry too much!”

Telling me not to worry, she tried to leave.

This time, with the determination not to let her go, I grabbed onto Jiwon’s arm.

“Food!”

I said as I held onto her arm.

Bringing her home like this seemed impossible.

I suggested taking her somewhere else instead of home.

“I’ll buy you food! Let’s talk for a bit.”

At the mention of food, Jiwon asked where.

“I’ll get you your favorite sushi.”

At the mention of sushi, Jiwon stopped in her tracks.

She just stared at me.

“A-alright then.”

**

And so, I came to eat sushi with Jiwon.

Watching her eat nearly 30 plates of sushi, I couldn’t help but wonder why she was eating so much.

Exiting the convenience store, I checked what I had bought in the bag. Inside, there was only a bowl of Yukgaejang instant noodles.

Seeing that she said she only eats one of these a day…

I couldn’t help but think that she must be living a really tough life.

Feeding Jiwon and asking seriously,

“Why did you suddenly leave home?”

Jiwon’s chopsticks paused at my words.

“Well… it’s just that…”

Once again unable to say anything, she tried to get up from her seat.

“Sigh… Okay, if it’s hard for you to talk about it, then don’t force yourself.”

There must be some reason behind it, I thought.

Thinking like that, I looked at Jiwon and told her to eat the sushi.

Jiwon just thanked me.

Since I couldn’t force her to tell me, I decided to wait until she could speak for herself.

After eating the sushi, Jiwon kept glancing at me.

“It’s okay now, you don’t have to say anything. Let’s just eat quickly for now.”

Saying so, I looked at Jiwon, and as I started to speak, she smiled and quickly ate the sushi.

After finishing the sushi, I suggested going to a cafe.

Jiwon agreed, and we went to the cafe together, ordering an Americano and a chocolate latte.

While eating the whipped cream on the chocolate latte, Jiwon said it was delicious.

Setting the cup down, she started glancing at me again.

Why is she acting like this? Did I do something wrong to her?

“Why do you keep watching me since earlier?”

I asked her why she kept watching me.

Jiwon said it was nothing.

Damn, I can’t handle this anymore.

Unlike the reason she left home, I asked her why she kept scrutinizing me.

Asking her that, Jiwon lowered her head and said,

“Jihu, are you not mad at me?”

Suddenly? Why should I be mad at her?

“I left suddenly. Without any reason, I went out, thinking maybe you didn’t like me anymore.”

I sighed and said,

“I’m not that petty.”

“You also had your reasons for leaving, so I should understand that.”

Saying so, Jiwon lowered her head, looking sad.

I feel like I’ve become a real jerk now.

I stared at Jiwon for a long time, unsure of what to say.

Right now… I’ll just say it.

“Hey, sorry. I got mad because you weren’t here. I felt lonely and depressed.”

“So… I wish you’d come back.”

At my words, Jiwon bowed her head even more.

“I… didn’t want to leave either.”

“Food comes automatically! No worries about rent!”

What the hell? He’s being so honest, too honest?

He’s too honest, I don’t know how to respond.

After staring at Jiwon for a while, she raised her head and said,

“I want to go back, but I couldn’t because I thought I would be a burden.”

“What are you talking about?”

I asked Jiwon, and she lowered her head again.

Her head is like an elevator.

Going up, down, all the way to the basement. She’s driving me crazy.

Continuing to stare at Jiwon,

she lowered her head and said,

“It’s because of my dad.”

“Your father?”

“My father is a mess.”

Interpreting Jiwon’s words,

She has a father. She knew her father had left home.

However, when her father left this time, he left her with something.

That something is debt.

Commonly used when taking out a loan or borrowing something to repay later.

It’s like knowing your bank account is in the negative.

The debt was left in Jiwon’s name.

Upon learning this, Jiwon decided to leave home.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If you say that… Jihoo, you’ll try to repay it, right?”

“You always help me. I’m just a useless person who can’t even repay that.”

Saying that… Of course, that would be the case.

Depending on the amount of debt, I had thoughts of helping.

Even if I can’t do it myself, of course, I had thoughts of helping.

“I’m not even paying rent at home right now, living like a parasite.”

“If I receive more help beyond this point, I feel like it will become a burden.”

I don’t know what to say in response to those words.

Looking at Jiwon like that, I sighed.

Tears were welling up in Jiwon’s eyes.

Unable to say anything in the face of her hesitation.

Looking at Jiwon, I spoke.

“Jiwon, I have something to ask you.”

In response to my words, Jiwon raised her head again and listened to me.

Seeing how moist her eyes were, it seemed like she had been crying.

I think I shouldn’t let my heart weaken.

But seeing Jiwon like this, my heart unknowingly softens too much.

Thinking like that, I spoke to Jiwon.

“What am I to you?”

In response to my question, Jiwon looked at me with a puzzled expression.

She replied, “You’re an incredibly grateful person.”

“Even as I change, you treat me as usual without any strangeness.”

“Even when I was driven away and didn’t know what to do, you accepted me. I’m so grateful that I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

After sighing at her words, I said, “Let’s go.”