episode_0058

This is the first time I’ve seen my brother like this.

In his slightly strained voice, not only the listener but even the atmosphere seemed to tense up, words multiplied, stray thoughts emerged, and the original purpose got lost.

His clenched hand was starting to hurt.

I didn’t come here to fight.

I came to ask for permission to marry.

Since we’re family, I hoped we could reconcile.

That’s what I came thinking.

A grandiose house.

Even the leisurely steps seemed pretentious now.

Both I and my brother, as well as his parents who were sitting down arguing, are all human.

“Enough… please stop.”

“I did everything you asked for. What more do you want?”

I tried to let go of my brother’s hand.

It hurt.

“…Brother.”

“I’m an adult now. I’ve crossed that line. Stop interfering.”

I tried to let go.

The hand I still held onto painfully seemed unyielding.

I exerted force and quickly pulled it away.

This is not what I wanted.

I don’t believe you always get what you want just because you desire it.

We’ve lost sight of our goal now.

I grabbed my brother’s shoulder.

“…What is it?”

“Why did we come here?”

“…”

I know things don’t always go as planned.

Variables can arise anytime, even unforeseen ones.

But losing sight of the goal is not an option.

“Tell me.”

“We came to ask for permission to marry.”

He hesitated, seeming very aware of what he was doing.

Mother seemed angry about the interruption.

“What are you doing now?”

Now her voice was sharp as an endless blade.

“I’m trying to calm things down. How about listening for a moment, Mother?”

“Why did our son end up like this?”

The reason for not pressing anger was the same elsewhere.

“After leaving, isn’t it natural for oneself to lead the way?”

It wasn’t about studying too much.

“Why…”

“Because the one blocking the child is you, Mother.”

I’m not sure what they call it these days.

Usually, it’s called obsession.

An intense attachment beyond mere affection.

“Is the reason you left… really that?”

They gaze at each other. Even their trembling voices make them shiver.

Brother paused briefly, then nodded slowly.

“You hated Mom…?”

“It used to be… good. It gradually turned sour.”

Silence follows his mumbled words.

“Let’s stop this.”

“What did Father do?”

And then, it’s next.

Up until it came to this point, what role did the pillar play?

I decided to examine things fundamentally.

“Brother?”

“I didn’t… see much. I was busy with tutoring back then, so if I did, it must have been on TV or maybe online.”

It might seem odd to do this face-to-face.

But rather than feeling excited, my heart was growing colder.

Perhaps I already knew what needed to be done to not miss the two rabbits.

“Mother?”

“…I’ve been lenient lately. Maybe it’s because I stopped working… But I think there’s still room for improvement now.

Even though it may seem like that, I am reflecting, and I have reflected a lot myself…”

Where did the anger and fighting from earlier go?

Father remained silent throughout. What changed without any conversation?

“What do you think? Brother.”

“…I still don’t know.”

Brother probably thinks the same.

“If that’s the case… shouldn’t we change more?”

There’s a reason why I’m pushing forward so strongly.

[Found it. That’s the meaning of an emergency situation.]

Illegitimate child.

An illegitimate child is a being loved only by two people.

Because there is no younger sibling who could receive love exclusively from an older brother and no older brother or sister, that’s why they are an illegitimate child.

I don’t know the circumstances up to now.

In a world where everything can be bought with money, one could have somehow found out about the news, or perhaps genuinely did not know. However, that doesn’t matter at all.

It’s not like I wouldn’t want to see my son whom I haven’t seen in a long time.

“Now… I’ll get up.”

“Ah… I’m sorry… my son….”

She takes her brother’s hand and stands up.

“I want to reconcile. I… that’s why I asked my brother for help.”

The journey there was filled with tension, but the journey back was incredibly peaceful.

Walking out into the quiet hallway, I looked around at the buildings and ground visible again from the elevator.

Coming out quietly without saying anything, the sensation I felt a little while ago returns.

It was regret.

“…What did I do? What did I do?”

Did I momentarily lose my mind being so close to the sky?

My quiet heart that seemed to have stopped began beating heavily.

“I don’t really know… but it seems like something progressed.”

“…I hope it didn’t fail.”

“I don’t think so.”

Coming out was to have a conversation again tomorrow.

It was confusing, and the conversation didn’t seem to make much progress.

“Shall we go eat?”

She gently takes my hand and heads towards the street.

“I’m sorry. Are you hurt?”

“It’s okay. I think it’s possible… I’m sorry for making you do this.”

My brother was pushing himself more than I had expected.

He hastened his steps to fulfill my request.

I should have been more considerate.

“But it did hurt a bit. It feels like I cut my finger on something.”

As I raise my hand, my white finger is stained red.

“Ah… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

It wasn’t a cut.

It didn’t hurt enough to break my hand, and I had my nails trimmed, so it was more uncomfortable than painful.

My brother’s heart was uneasy.

He seemed to not understand what was going on, denying all the truths he knew.

He must have been slightly angry.

The perpetrator can never truly understand the victim’s pain.

Unless they become the victim themselves.

“It’s a joke. Hold my hand again, please.”

The redness was simply due to heat; it wasn’t very painful.

Strangely, the fact that there would soon be marks on my face as if I had slept strangely would disappear.

“Really…?”

“Yes. But why?”

My brother was carefully examining my hand with a apologetic expression.

“Will it hurt if I press it?”

Pressing the reddened area slightly, he observed my reaction.

“…Should we go to the hospital?”

“No. I don’t want to. Let’s eat. Food.”

If it really hurt, I would have refused to be pressed.

I have something I want.

“Let’s go. Let’s eat out after a long time. How about pasta?”

“Uh… it doesn’t matter.”

“Then shall we go home and do something naughty right away?”

Saying it doesn’t matter. I don’t like that.

It seems like I’m the only one deciding.

We should do it together.

“Uh?”

“You said it doesn’t matter.”

“Well…”

“Then what do you want to eat?”

“I want cream pasta.”

“Okay. I’ll have tomato.”

We look around for a pasta restaurant.

“Oh. Isn’t that it?”

“Yeah. Looks like it.”

Using a map app, we found a restaurant with rows of photos that looked appetizing.

Upon entering, although some people were visible, a corner seat was neatly arranged, so even if others passed by, we wouldn’t be clearly visible.

“Oh… they sell things other than pasta here.”

“As my brother said, it doesn’t seem like they only serve pasta.”

Apart from what I saw on the map app, there were more things to see.

“Oh, they also have potato fries. Hmm… I wonder if it goes well with pasta…”

“I want to eat. Cheese balls too.”

“Shall we order both?”

Since ordering was done at the counter and drinks were self-service, I quickly paid and received a cup with ice and a paper straw, then stood next to the drink machine.

“What kind of carbonated drink do you like, oppa?”

“Hmm… Sprite?”

Oppa filled the cup with Sprite.

Seeing this, there was something I always wanted to try.

“Oh… is that true?”

“I’ve always wanted to try it once. You know how they say cola tastes the same everywhere?”

Carbonated beverage enthusiasts worldwide might curse me.

I simply poured equal parts of the two most famous cola brands.

Returning, I sat down with oppa.

“Hmm… it tastes the same.”

Whether the stronger carbonation won or the sweeter taste won, the cola I drank while pondering was just cola.

It could be just a matter of preference for drinking whatever is given, regardless of liking or disliking carbonation.

“For now, let’s go back tomorrow. I want to make amends, whether it’s what I thought or a sincere apology, so I want to reconcile.”

“Is there a reason to go that far?”

“I want reconciliation. I want to see reconciliation. I hope you and our parents get along well. I’m thinking about meeting them in the future.”

The joy of parents is said to be like seeing their grandchildren.

For example, feeling melancholic when losing a son or daughter but feeling immensely happy when seeing their own child again, much like seeing a grandchild.

“During holidays like Chuseok, I want to visit with dad every time.”

“Hmm… I’ll do my best.”

“Don’t be angry. It only makes things harder. Let’s finish early on Sundays and rest. You don’t even have a vacation, so you have to go straight to work, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

A job where time is exchanged for money and a job where time is spent to earn money.

I wish oppa would stay by my side.

“Oh, remember we changed the start time last time?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“In that case… could working from home be an option…?”

After considering my suggestion for a moment, oppa shook his head.

“Oh. Not possible?”

“Yeah… unless there are special circumstances, it seems like it’s not allowed, or so I heard.”

What should I do then?

Leaving a well-performing company seems like a big risk.

“Do you have savings?”

“Yeah, about half, I guess.”

Oh no. No matter how much money you save, there’s always an associated risk.

What could those special circumstances be?

A cold… doesn’t last long.

An illness perhaps?

If it’s an illness severe enough to keep me from work, it could be a bit difficult.

Because that would mean not earning money.

“Oh. Special circumstances.”

“Yeah?”

“If I get pregnant, wouldn’t that be a special circumstance?”

“…Huh?”

Makes sense, right? Something special that requires being at home.