episode_0005

“Father….”

“…Are you erasing it?”

“…Yes.”

Father remained silent.

After a minute, two minutes… He just stood there without saying a word.

I thought about speaking, but my mouth kept moving, as if I had something important to say, so I stayed quiet.

“…I’m leaving.”

“…Yes?”

“I’ve seen your face. It’s Jiwoo.”

“Um….”

It seems not. But it’s not like he’s going to say a few words and leave.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.”

Father left like that.

Asking if someone has eaten seems to be a rule among Koreans.

“……?”

No. What? Is it ending so abruptly?

“Sigh… what is it.”

Still, thank you for believing in me.

Rather than hearing dramatic lines like ‘There’s no way my son has changed like this!’ that would fit in a drama, it’s better this way.

But Father… really doesn’t say much.

Is he only like this at home, with family? Or maybe he’s talkative at work, but has nothing to say at home.

“Let’s eat!”

“Finally….”

“It’s porridge!”

“Wow!! Wow….”

The movement of the rice grains is suspicious…!

Finally… it evolved into porridge…!!

Now there’s texture in the food. Feeling the rice grains playing in my mouth, I don’t know how wonderful that is.

But it’s a problem that only the texture has appeared.

“What’s wrong. Where did the person who ate porridge and sang for three days go?”

“Sweet and sour pork… Jjamppong….”

But even if you feel the texture, what taste could it have?

Yeah, it’s tasteless.

You could at least add some red pepper powder or chives.

None. There’s none. There’s no kimchi…!

“Then you have to get treated diligently!”

“Ah….”

Still can’t get out of bed. Even if I do, I can only go outside with Soohyun’s help and sit in a wheelchair.

I suddenly remembered the female lead who played the violin in the anime.

It was quite sad, but experiencing it myself made me feel awkward and lonely.

I don’t know. Why can’t I move… No, why can’t I walk.

After eating porridge, I went to a place labeled as a physical therapy room.

I lay back on the bed and various devices were attached to my legs.

There was little to no sensation or feeling.

“Um….”

“It’s effective. They just think it’s ineffective because they don’t feel anything.”

“Oh….”

Soohyun, observing my reaction, says it seems like others react the same way.

Contrary to what I imagined with physical therapy—grasping bars and struggling step by step to walk—there were strange things being done to my legs, like shining lasers and attaching pads, giving a tingling sensation rather than a thrilling one.

Some fascinating machine was sticking all over my legs, giving off a slightly sci-fi vibe, but it wasn’t an instant recovery like in a sci-fi movie.

“Sigh… so when will I be able to walk?”

This physical therapy thing is really… something else.

My legs move smoothly, there’s definitely a sensation, but I still can’t walk.

The essence of physical therapy is clearly walking, right?

“It’s more about loosening stiff legs than creating muscles to walk around.”

“I see.”

I see.

…Huh? Wait a minute.

“So when will I walk then?”

Soohyun folds down three fingers one by one.

“For now… treatment. Then time. And until you can eat. That’s when things will change.”

“Oh.”

My mind is as eager as a rabbit, but my body is slow like a turtle.

“Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time.”

I’m not worried about not being able to walk. I just want to eat.

“I’m hungry.”

“Today, you’ll keep having porridge. Um… depending on how you’re doing today and tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow. You’ll really be able to eat then.”

“Really!?”

But if it goes like this, everything changes.

“If I can hold out for just two days, it’s food!

“When have I ever lied?”

“No…?”

“Why the question mark!”

When this lady is serious, she’s cooler than anyone else, but when she speaks and acts, she turns into a playful neighborhood sister.

Honestly, she’s an interesting person. Sometimes she shows trustworthy qualities.

“Hehe, that’s true.”

“You’re such a strange person… Oh. Shall I bring food?”

“Yes~”

Miss Soo-hyun brought me back to the hospital room and went to get food. It’s the doctor’s care to take care of only me almost exclusively.

“I am Nana Narana~ Nanan…! …Ah.”

Saying this, it seems like I might not do anything at all once I’m discharged, so the future looks a bit bleak.

Am I going to become a complete freeloader?

“Food’s here~”

“Oh. Thank you.”

After setting everything up, Miss Soo-hyun steps back slightly and gazes at me silently.

Normally, she would look around the room or talk while tidying up, but now she seems to have something she wants to ask me.

I also wait without picking up my spoon until Miss Soo-hyun opens her mouth.

“By any chance… do you know someone named Kim Soo-han?”

“Oh. That’s my brother.”

“Um… he’s here now.”

“Ah.”

My hungry stomach suddenly quieted down.

I wanted to prepare myself mentally, but words failed me.

“How… have you been?”

“Jiwoo…?”

“Yeah….”

My brother-in-law has come.

Now, even being surprised has become familiar.

I might be surprised seeing myself, let alone others. They might be even more surprised.

“Sorry. I tried to come quickly, but work has been busy lately…”

“No, why are you apologizing to me?”

Unkempt hair, wrinkled shirt, stains that haven’t been removed, a suit that looks like it hasn’t been taken care of, it seems like being busy is indeed a reality, but there’s a more important issue.

“Hyung, did you eat breakfast properly?”

“…Uh.”

No. The estimate is already out from the hesitation.

“There was cereal, did you eat it?”

“Uh… I ate.”

This, too, is a lie.

Though it was a short three months, I could tell.

Whether my brother is bad at hiding his expressions or if I’m just good at noticing.

“Now that it’s almost 3 weeks? 2 weeks until discharge, I’ll go and cook for you right away.”

“…It’s okay.”

“…What’s okay!”

We can’t go back to how things were before.

“Right now… it doesn’t seem like Jiwoo and I can live together.”

“Is it because of my current state that it’s not possible?”

“……”

Soon, my brother turned away from my face.

Truly, because I’m a woman. My actions were telling.

“I don’t like it. Why? I’m a man. I’m a man.”

“That’s… that’s not the issue.”

“I won’t take money. At least until you remarry, I’ll keep coming back.”

My obsession with my brother is my own way of atonement.

When we first met and became friends, I should have set boundaries.

I should have said that I needed to reconsider marriage, that a sister couldn’t fulfill the role of a wife. But I didn’t. And my brother reached the end of his unhappiness.

“…This is my fault. I just lacked judgment. And Jiwoo didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I will refuse your refusal. I will somehow make you remarry.”

I’m just trying to take on a small responsibility.

“But….”

“I won’t accept any objections. And there’s nothing to lose by having me around. I’ll cook for you every day, prepare your suits daily, and keep the room tidy always.”

My brother continues to ponder, either rubbing his chin with his hand or crossing his arms.

“…How could I stop you… Fine. I’ll ask for your help. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

If it’s for my brother’s happiness, what’s the harm in this small sacrifice of mine?

And I’m just atoning.

***

“Finally… it’s food.”

“It’s low-salt, though.”

“After eating this, I’ll practice walking immediately.”

“Oh.”

Now, is that coming out? Holding the stick and mumbling.

I wanted to try it. It’s not the rehabilitation therapy that comes out in dramas every time, right?

“If you like it, you’ll regret it….”

“…?”

Although there was a creepy feeling in Soo-hyun’s muttering, I quickly erased it.

The broth was a bit bland, but maybe it was because rice took up a significant portion. Pretending not to notice, I cleanly finished the rice.

As for kimchi… it wasn’t there, but the seasoned greens were fine too.

After eating, I went straight into the room on the right side of the room I had visited before.

“Oh….”

“This is where Mr. Jiyu will really be able to walk with muscle training.”

The room was clean, spacious, with a faint warmth from the sunlight filtering in.

Once again, there were many strange machines.

There were ordinary ones too, but Soo-hyun passed by while pulling the wheelchair.

“Hmm… not this one… this seems good.”

The place we arrived at was even more fascinating. Just looking around the hospital was interesting. Not all machines are made to treat people.

Soo-hyun put a vest on me connected to the rail on the ceiling with a rope.

“Hmm. Okay… I’ve adjusted it. Want to try walking?”

Feeling like floating. Maybe I could walk with this.

“…?”

That thought was my mistake.

Soo-hyun’s expression towards me flashed through my mind.

Not annoyance, but rather a pity for the thought that I would soon regret what I said.

It wasn’t that Soo-hyun was puzzled by me. She was worried.

I knew I would regret it for sure.

When what you only saw in dramas becomes reality, the romance disappears. The idealism fades away.

“Ugh…!!”

I could keenly feel the protagonist’s feelings, bone-chillingly well.

It’s hard. Everything is encompassed in the word “difficult.” There is nothing more or less than that.

“Eek…!”

Unable to take a few steps, I struggled with my legs relying more on various support devices. Walking while holding a stick. It starts with the premise of lifting myself with my arms.

How can I lift myself with arms that show all the bones?

The firmly entrenched fantasy shattered into pieces in an instant.

“Shall we rest a bit?”

“Yes… please…”

Naturally walking. Without any support devices, without relying on a cane, I walked.

Only now did I realize how great a blessing and luck that was.