episode_0127

(Park A-reum)

We froze in silence, even as we heard the sound of vomiting coming from inside.

Because I didn’t know exactly what the situation was, I was cautious about what I said.

“Woof! Woof!”

The nausea and vomiting were repeated several times.

“Ha, haaah… .”

And then the rapid breathing of Shindawoon, who seemed to have lost all his energy, continued.

The toilet flushes with a loud gurgling sound.

Shhh—

Then the sound of water running comes from the sink.

After rinsing my mouth and gargling, the house soon became so quiet that the sound of my toothbrush could be heard loudly.

The three of us outside still stood there, like stone statues.

.

.

.

“Ah… .”

The noisy sink has definitely stopped.

But now no sound can be heard from inside.

I thought about knocking first, but my hand that had been raised naturally went back down.

Indeed, the most confusing thing was how to say something in the current situation.

“… Love?”

And then an old lady who couldn’t stand to watch stepped forward.

Knock- knock-

“… … Honey, are you okay?”

The knocking continued, and Shindown was called, but there was no answer.

“Haa… . Hooo… .”

The slippers dragged on the floor, accompanied by a deep sigh echoing from within.

And then, with a thud, the door that had been firmly shut opens.

“… Are you okay?”

Despite the worried question from the middle-aged woman, Shindaun just kept his head down on the floor.

“What don’t you like?”

“Ah… That’s… Yes… Outside earlier… I think I ate something bad… .”

It was a small voice crawling in.

Even that gets smaller and smaller as it digs a tunnel.

“… Do you want to go to the hospital?”

“Ah, hehe… Not that much… .”

It was somewhat of a self-deprecating laugh.

A voice like that continues, a voice that seems a little sad.

So I grabbed that godlike wrist.

Somehow I felt like it had to be that way.

No, it had to be that way.

“Hey… Let’s go to the hospital.”

“… Ah, okay… .”

I tried to shake off the hand I was holding, but my body seemed to have no strength left, and all I could do was flap my arms for a moment.

“Ah… Let’s go.”

The feeling of suffocation was building up.

“Ah, I told you it really happened… .”

If my thoughts were right, I would be so angry at myself for not realizing it until now.

“Ahh! Let’s go!!!”

But, my uncontrollable mind created a useless spark.

“Ah, ahh… .”

This anger that should have been directed at me was directed at a worthless person.

And then he grabbed my wrist, which was holding me, and grimaced as if he was complaining of pain.

“Ah… Sorry. Oh, I didn’t mean to do this… .”

“Okay, so let go of that hand, huh… .”

Shindawoon’s thin wrist had already been dyed red in the shape of my hand for a long time.

And then he tries to get out of the place, touching his wrist.

“Hey… But the hospital is—”

But, it was the old woman who stopped me.

The woman put her arms around my waist.

And he shakes his head and stops me from doing this.

“Mom will go. You guys, eat some fruit.”

“Sigh… .”

Shindaun walked towards the room he was writing in.

The woman followed behind.

“Ah, my sister… .”

The new lover who was left standing next to me calls me.

“… Is that right…?”

Shinsarang muttered softly as if he was saying some kind of code, and his voice was trembling.

“I don’t know… haaah… .”

I covered my face.

And with a burning throat, I went to the kitchen and drank some cold water.

“Ah… What should I do… .”

Next to him, Shinsarang is stamping his feet.

“… What should I do? And calm down.”

There is nothing good about being surprised by a pregnant woman’s body.

I tried hard to calm the flustered gentleman down, but my hands also began to tremble.

“Uh, how do I calm down… I, my brother and I might have a child… .”

Shinsarang’s face turned red as if his body was getting hot.

Then he snatches the cup I was drinking from and pours cold water into it.

“… Drink slowly.”

“Gulp, gulp, gulp… Heuheu… . Ah, euheu… .”

He frowns as if his head is ringing.

I took that gentleman with me and went to the sofa.

“Please sit down for a moment.”

“… Oh, yeah.”

Maybe it’s because I drank water, but my mind feels a little calmer.

And many thoughts came to mind at the same time, making my head complicated.

“… … What should I do?”

“… What should I do? ”

I could tell at a glance what he was asking.

But, I’m scared to face it… so I pretend not to know.

“You know.”

“… I don’t know, I don’t want to know.”

“Sister!!”

“Hey… I can hear you all. Be quiet.”

My head is spinning from the shouting of Shinsarang.

No, this might just be an excuse.

“I’ll give birth.”

“… What.”

“Are you going to keep pretending you don’t know?”

The passionate love from earlier was gone.

The voice that had settled down without me noticing, but had become hard for some reason, spoke to me like that.

“Haaah… You still, you don’t know yet… .”

“If it’s true? If it’s true that I’m pregnant, then what will I do?”

“… There’s no point in you and me doing this.”

“There it is! Why does it mean nothing!”

Shin Sa-rang’s eyes, which were red from the blood vessels in his neck, became swollen.

It felt like she would burst into tears at any moment if I touched her.

“… … I told you before. I don’t know, I don’t know… .”

Right now, I was most worried about Shindawoon.

Other than that… I can’t think of anything else.

“… Then what am I? I haven’t said anything until now.”

“Hey… That’s… … .”

Shinsarang points to his own stomach.

The stomach, which had entered its sixth week, was still as usual.

But inside there, my child and Shindaun’s child are growing well.

This was a clear fact.

“What is that.”

“Ah… No… .”

I couldn’t say anything.

No, no matter what I said, it was the same.

Obviously nothing has changed.

“First, let’s go to the hospital first. And… it’s not too late to think about it later.”

“No, tell me now. It’s something that’s happened at least once, right?”

That wasn’t a wrong statement.

I didn’t necessarily buy it and worry about it, but it was something that had to happen eventually.

“If things never change like this, and I live as your older sister for the rest of my life, and your older brother lives as me for the rest of his life… What should I do? Is that okay for you? Are you going to keep saying that?”

It doesn’t go back to the way it was… I never even imagined this, but what if… what if it really were so… … .

“That too at that time—”

“Yaaaah!!”

Shin Sa-rang’s voice echoes throughout the house.

But I couldn’t stop it.

“Let’s think about it then… .”

I needed time to think.

It was so hard to come up with anything to say right away.

“Sigh… .”

Shin Sa-rang sighed deeply at my answer and stood up from his seat.

And then he walks straight into his room.

“Haaa… … .”

As if my sighs were contagious, I too took a deep breath.

My head started to throbbed and soon turned white.

I buried my back in the sofa.

And I waited for either Shindaun or the old lady to quickly come out of the room.

*

(new)

“… Daughter, are you okay?”

“Ah… yes.”

“Your complexion is not good. Since when has it been like this?”

“Ah… It’s really okay. I guess what I ate outside earlier… was a little weird.”

“Was that so…?”

An expression of complete disbelief, but also full of worry and concern.

“… … Our daughter knows what I’m going to say, right?”

“… I don’t know.

And when I just kept repeating that I was okay, he ended up throwing a fastball at me.

“It’s not that I’m worried about my daughter, I’m just saying. So, do you want to go to the gynecologist just once?”

“… Why, why am I there.”

He pretended it didn’t happen, tried hard to avoid the issue and pretended he didn’t know.

“If you keep doing that, your mom will get mad too?”

It was the same for me.

He pretended to be angry and put his hand on his side.

“… Huh, no… I’m not really pregnant… No… .”

I tried to evade until the very end.

I said it wasn’t me, but as a mother, there’s nothing I can do.

“Are you my son?”

“… Yes, yes?”

“So dad is my son?”

It was a bit more explicit.

At this point, I found myself stuttering without realizing it.

“Sarang-i should tell you… Then I can help you too, right? If you find out about this later, what will you say then?”

“No… Really, I said no… .”

I plan to hide it until I have to hide it.

If you’re feeling full, you might want to leave the house.

Still, I was a little surprised today.

I didn’t have morning sickness until now, so I thought I wouldn’t have it again, but it suddenly started and I felt like my stomach was completely vomited out.

“Love! It’s okay, it’s really okay… So, can’t you just talk to me comfortably?”

It was just a few words.

My heart, which seemed unwavering, wavered.

And my mouth was moving, and I almost started talking without realizing it.

“… I, I just… I’m not feeling well… I think I just need to rest a little… .”

It was just a case of empty retching.

But, without exception, my family members became serious and came to me.

“Are you going to keep doing this? Are you really not going to tell me?”

This time he looked really angry.

And it seemed as if he had no intention of leaving the room, as if he was ready to see the end.

“Sigh… .”

I, too, was moved to tears by my mother’s expression.

If I tell you, what will change?

Rather than taking my side, it might make me even angrier.

No, I’m sure he’ll get even angrier.

Even now, I’m still hesitant, so it was clear that he was looking at me.

But that’s why I get so annoyed.

Maybe it’s rebellion… maybe.

And I decided to give my mother the answer she so desperately wanted.

With a slightly upset heart, and perhaps a mistake, I finally said the words my mother had been hoping for.

“I’m pregnant.”

“… What?”

“That’s right. It’s my brother’s kid.”

Mom’s face hardens in an instant.

It must have been the answer he had been hoping for, but it couldn’t help but be a little funny.