episode_0037

Pooh-ha-

My and Asha’s lips parted after a long while.

We had clearly been kissing until the square’s lights went out, but even so, parting left a sense of regret.

I wanted to explore her mouth just a little more.

I wanted to delve into her mouth, which smelled of sweet wine, and breathe my scent into her.

I wanted to mark this woman as mine, like an animal marking its territory.

But right now… it’s impossible.

Because Asha doesn’t love me. Because she and I are still just friends.

Leaving behind a deep sense of regret, I gently pulled her away from my body.

Even with my sight slightly blurred from alcohol, her face was clearly visible.

Asha seemed to be in a serious state, as much as me, no, even more so than me.

Her cheeks were flushed crimson, and her eyes were half-closed, looking utterly captivating.

I wanted to pick her up and go to bed right away… but I had to restrain myself.

Even if a sweet scent emanated from her body, even if she kept brushing her body against me,

I have to endure it now.

Clenching my fists so tightly that blood might have come out, I barely suppressed my desire.

“I’m sleepy…”

Poof

But then, Asha whined and hugged me.

The scent of a mature woman and the soft touch of her body wafted over me. That was enough to drive me crazy.

The ugly desire I had barely suppressed raised its head again.

No. Endure. Endure. If I lose my reason and take her like this, I will cross a point of no return.

I will lose forever what I had desperately wanted since I was young.

“Please, Asha.”

Filled with desperation, I barely managed to push Asha away.

Asha, please don’t test me any further.

Any more is dangerous. You, who claimed to be the man from my past life, you must know, right?

How captivating this attitude is.

I am at a vigorous age and I love you.

Furthermore, I am in a position where taking you by force would not cause much trouble.

I want to respect you as much as possible.

If you want to be treated that way, don’t put me to the test any further.

If the day comes when I lose my reason…

I don’t know what will happen.

So don’t tempt me.

But today, too, I couldn’t say anything and only suppressed it inside.

I could only push her away without saying a word.

The fortunate thing, at least, was that Asha meekly pulled away at my touch.

The bigger problem, however, was that Asha had fallen asleep.

She mumbled that she wasn’t asleep, but her swaying steps looked quite dangerous.

Even with support, she kept staggering all the same.

In the end, I had no choice but to pick Asha up in my arms.

As soon as I picked her up, a soft snoring sound was heard. Seeing that she fell asleep immediately, she must have been quite tired.

‘Well, she drank everything she was given and overdid it today, after all.’

I carefully went down the hill, being careful not to wake her.

Asha’s bottom was soft.

—

I got up, clutching my throbbing head.

Seeing that I felt nauseous and my condition was completely ruined, I could guess how much I had drunk yesterday.

On top of that, as the finishing touch, muscle aches. It was the hangover trifecta.

I crawled out of bed and drank a cup of water.

Gulp gulp gulp

“Hooaah… I’m alive…”

As the water entered, my mind cleared up a bit. I was still in pain, but the hangover had lessened just enough that I could move my body.

I raised my head and looked out the window. The sun shone brightly, proving it was midday.

‘Work will be hard today…’

If I did my work in this state, it would clearly be a mess. I’d be lucky if I didn’t throw up on the documents.

I pulled the cord to call for a servant. Several minutes passed, but no one came.

‘Shit… Can’t you at least come quickly at a time like this…’

I kept pulling the cord. The bell was probably ringing like crazy upstairs.

Let’s see if you win or I win.

Out of stubbornness, I kept pulling the cord. Then, with a thudding sound, a maid came down from upstairs.

“What is it?”

There wasn’t a single thing I liked about her glare and her disrespectful tone, but I was too lazy to point it out now.

When I simply asked her to inform the administrator that coming to work today would be difficult, the maid said okay with a displeased look and left the room.

Just calling the maid had drained all the energy from my body. I crawled back into bed and lay down.

As I lay in bed, the events of yesterday came back to me vividly.

The time I put on a ridiculous costume show in front of Mikhail with crazy energy, as if I’d taken drugs,

The time I drank way past my limit and danced wildly, and…

The kiss on the hill.

“…….”

Now I had no choice but to admit it.

No matter how much I tried to deny it,

Even if I scoffed and dismissed it as ‘no way, no way’,

I couldn’t rationalize it any longer.

Mikhail Laskarvan likes me. And very much so.

“I’m fucked.”

Upon realizing that, the future looked bleak.

Actually, I had started to vaguely notice it since Mikhail kissed me while spouting illogical sophistry.

Even someone completely oblivious would find it hard to believe that kiss had no ulterior motive.

And the way he subtly placed his hand. He might as well have just shouted that he wanted to take me.

Still, I tried to just keep it as a suspicion and live as normally as possible.

In fact, Mikhail also treated me as normally as possible, except for when he was kissing me.

Even when we shared a room, he didn’t touch me at all, so I thought what happened during the kiss was just due to male instinct.

But it seems he endured with transcendental patience. Seeing how this mess ended up.

‘What should I do now?’

I really couldn’t figure it out.

There were too many parts where I relied on Mikhail to distance myself from him.

Even if I were to suck face with Mikhail right now, the maid’s attitude towards me is like that, so if our relationship becomes distant?

Then I could be poisoned without anyone knowing. No joke, seriously.

Furthermore, if I deliberately avoid him, that quick-witted guy might notice.

Then he might confess to me, or he might start avoiding me too.

Either way, it was the worst situation.

But I couldn’t accept his feelings either. There really were no answers at all.

I kept racking my brain, but still no particularly good ideas came to mind.

Then there was only one thing left.

Treating him as normally as possible.

Pretending I blacked out and forgot what happened on the hill, and pretending not to know about his feelings for me.

I know it’s only a temporary measure.

But… but…

I really couldn’t think of any other option.

For me, who couldn’t accept his feelings and didn’t want the relationship to become distant, I couldn’t think of a better method than this.

At best, a year. It’s a flimsy method that might break down even tomorrow, but I couldn’t help it.

At the very least, I have to pray this method works until the civil war ends.

Because only after the civil war ends can I seek asylum or do anything.

Besides, it’s my personality to avoid troublesome things whenever they arise.

I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to sleep again.

Sleep did not come easily.

—

“Are you okay?”

“Not okay… Ugh!”

The time when the sun was almost setting. Mikhail, having finished all his duties, personally deigned to visit my room, leading his esteemed self.

A princess of the Mad King should naturally be honored by the visit of such an esteemed person, but the princess showed no gratitude at all and was merely burying her face in a basin.

… Lately, my thoughts have automatically become warped. I stopped being sarcastic inwardly because I felt like I’d get more depressed if I continued.

The hangover that started in the morning bothered me even as evening approached.

It was partly because I drank so much alcohol, but also because I did nothing to treat it and just lay there until evening, which worsened my condition.

By the time Mikhail came to my room, I was holding a basin and actively throwing up, so that says it all.

Unfortunately, it seems the illusion wasn’t broken by the vomiting, as Mikhail sweetly patted my back and left the room, saying he would bring something to cure the hangover.

Damn, maybe next time I should pick my nose in front of him.

Thinking of actions that would make him disgusted, I put down the basin.

And when the nausea had subsided somewhat, Mikhail personally served a warm soup.

The visual… was one that made me miss the hangover soup from my previous life, but I drank the soup without a word.

The clear broth and cabbage soothed my burning insides.

“I knew this would happen from the moment you were chugging beer by the barrel.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me…”

“If I tried to stop you, you’d lie down in the middle of the square and whine, how could I stop you?”

“I did that?”

Mikhail merely shrugged his shoulders. Did I really do that?

I remember the kiss on the hill perfectly fine, but why can’t I remember this? Feeling unnecessarily embarrassed, I drank the hangover soup again.

As the soup reached the bottom, my headache and dizziness subsided somewhat. Hangover soup, you’re amazing!

“Thanks for bringing the hangover soup. Now that I’ve eaten this, I feel a bit more alive.”

“It’s nothing. Just finish digesting it and get some sleep. You’ll have to do today’s work along with tomorrow’s.”

Mikhail replied in a slightly blunt tone. But as he did so, he patted my back, which was clearly a gesture of consideration.

Now that I knew what kind of feelings he harbored for me, the favors I usually accepted without a second thought became a little bothersome.

My reactions also became unnecessarily conscious.

It was the first time I had experienced something like this in both my current and past lives, so I felt awkward. No, how could I not be bothered when someone I was just friendly with likes me?

It’s human psychology to suddenly become conscious if even a stranger shows you favor, so when someone I’ve been with my whole life in this life does this, I was incredibly bothered.

I kept flinching and overreacting even when he moved slightly.

I tried my best to regain my composure, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from drifting towards Mikhail.

Fortunately, it seemed Mikhail didn’t notice my changed reaction, as he finished patting my back and helped me lie down.

“I can do this much myself…”

“Stay still.”

“Okay.”

With Mikhail spooning the soup for me and doing everything else, I felt like a baby. Wah, I’m baby Anastasia, give me food.

“Wah wah.”

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

“Go to sleep quickly.”

Mikhail chuckled and personally closed my eyes for me. His hand felt particularly large and warm today.

Soon after the door closed, darkness descended.