episode_0041

-love you.

Aria’s voice came from Aria’s tent, which Ian entered late at night.

Sylvie, who was tailing, froze when she heard those words.

Ian didn’t answer anything.

-I want you.

Sylvie only heard that and ran away.

If I heard any more, I didn’t know what I would do.

*

Ian thought back on what he had just heard.

Did I hear it wrong?

Did Aria say something wrong?

But Aria’s expression was unaffected.

“… What are we going to do? He called me for a massage.”

“Silvia said that. I tried following it, how does it feel?”

“I didn’t know you had a bad taste for eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. If the business is like that, I’ll just go.”

“Don’t go.”

Aria asked calmly.

Ian found it difficult to follow this trend.

He vaguely knew that Sylvie liked him.

However, the other three are not like that at all.

Kylie basically hates Ian, who is much weaker than her.

Beatrice follows it because it benefits her, but she is not bothered.

Aria has no emotions at all.

So Ian never approached the three of them any closer than necessary.

Except for Sylvie, nicknames are simply shortened names to make it easier to call them.

In the first place, Aria does not even treat all humans as equal creatures to herself.

In her way of thinking, humans are equal to things.

An object with a certain ‘function’.

Just as dishes contain food and food has the function of providing a feeling of fullness.

Some humans stand guard, some carry burdens, and some rule the world.

That’s Aria’s perspective.

To Aria, Ian was just a functional person who gave her money and fame.

This also applies to Aria herself.

To Ian, Aria is one of the humans who will perform the ‘function’ of killing the Demon King.

“Are you kidding me? It’s not a very funny prank.”

“It’s not a joke. To be honest, I don’t even love you.”

“Lia, tell me so I can understand what you mean.”

“Umm… .”

Aria thought briefly, tapping her foot with her crossed legs.

Soon, she stared at Ian with her eyes shining purely.

“I want a man named Ian.”

When I met his gaze, I realized.

I entered the target of greed chosen by Aria.

Aria was a person who had many things.

At the same time, he was also a person who didn’t try hard because he knew he couldn’t have it all.

Ian promised her a reward that exceeded her efforts and allowed her to have everything she wanted.

The object was usually a rare object, the admiration of an unspecified number of people, or the recognition of someone.

I have never wanted to single out any individual.

After all, what she wants from people is function.

Even the admiration and recognition she desired were merely functional means.

She declared that she was greedy for Ian himself.

“… I am not a thing.”

“I know. So I want more. Because this is my first time wanting someone.”

“I have no intention of being possessed, but I’m curious because it’s so unexpected. Why?”

“I realized I couldn’t have it.”

To Aria, Ian wasn’t even a person of interest to begin with.

However, I realized it the moment I overheard their conversation with Sylvia.

No matter what he does, he can’t have Ian.

It was truly a selfish thought.

I don’t need it, and I don’t want it, but when I confirmed the scarcity of not being able to have it, I started wanting it for no reason.

Ian laughed out loud because it was so absurd.

“I thought Kylie was the most insane, but you won.”

“So, will you do it?”

“No.”

Ian cast his gaze somewhere and then spoke firmly.

“Someone has already made an appointment.”

“Is that so… .”

“And it doesn’t work even if there was no one who promised. I have to say something that makes sense.”

It got further away.

The possibility of having it has decreased further.

So, I wanted more.

A greater desire reminds us of the opposite case.

‘If I can never have it, what should I do then? .’

*

“I don’t want to do it.”

“Huh?”

“No hero. I don’t know why I should do it. The devil either dies or not.”

“Actual cost. Why suddenly…”

“I don’t know, I just don’t want to do it. I’d rather just die. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because there’s Aria and other members besides me.”

Ian understood the meaning of the last words.

“Is it because of what happened with Aria yesterday?”

“No?”

“Huh… .”

When he says no, it shows on his face.

Occasionally, Sylvie would reveal her desire to be exclusive.

At that time, I just felt embarrassed and tried to console him.

I found it surprising that I found Sylvie so cute today.

“That’s because you said nothing happened. How much did I hear about you?”

“I heard everything.”

“You’re lying.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I won’t do it.”

Ian wondered for a moment how to comfort her.

The relationship between the two has already crossed a certain line to be subtle.

Didn’t you ask me to wait until I killed the Demon King?

It was no different from showing our feelings for each other.

If that had already happened, Ian had no intention of backing down.

“What should we do to make Sylvie feel better?”

“… Give me a hug first.”

Ian did as requested.

“And?”

“Don’t talk to Aria again. And Mercy and Katy.”

“… Sylvie. That’s realistically impossible.”

“Why? You can do it.”

“I swear I have no feelings for those three. But all three of them are members of the party, and I am in a position to gather opinions and coordinate among them.”

“If I tell you not to do it, just don’t do it.”

“Actual cost.”

The two clearly confirmed their feelings for each other, but that didn’t mean they didn’t.

“Distinguish between public and private life.”

“So you’re going to talk to them? Am I not enough? It’s okay, I don’t want to do it, just.”

“Actual cost… .”

“I don’t know, I’m annoyed.”

Sylvie pushed Ian away.

There was a slight crack in my ribs.

“Well, I can’t control my strength… .”

Sylvie’s complaints and anxiety, which I thought would stop for a while, grew worse day by day.

One of the reasons was learning that Ian was terminally ill.

While I was away, the delusion that Ian might suddenly die continued to arise.

At that time, Ian was away a lot of the time, and the same was true for Sylvie.

There wasn’t much time for the two to be together.

At times like that, Sylvie couldn’t overcome her anxiety and often caused trouble to those around her.

The target was mainly Kati.

“Where is Ian?”

“You left the upper trading street where food was previously traded and went to look for other suppliers.”

“Bring it. You can talk to Ian here, or you can follow him right away.”

“The owner is busy.”

“Why do you keep calling Ian master? Why is Ian your master?”

“… … .”

“Why did you have that ring…? . On the topic of mine… .”

Kati remained expressionlessly silent.

There was nothing else to say.

Because I know that Sylvia is a more important person than myself.

All he could do in defiance was to secretly move the ring to his ring finger and then return it to his index finger whenever Sylvia or Ian saw him.

“Ian, why did you come back so late?”

“Huh? Came back earlier than expected… .”

“It’s late! It’s late! How long have I waited! Who were you with? Was there a woman too?”

“They were all men.”

“Don’t lie. There must have been a maid too.”

“To say that the people carrying the food were together… .”

“And he said that among the nobles, there are many men who lust after the same man.”

“Why do you only remember such strange stories?”

Until then, Ian thought it was because Sylvie was not good at expressing her feelings.

I believed that it would gradually improve over time.

But Sylvie’s anxiety symptoms did not improve.

Wouldn’t he escape and find Ian on the way to the dungeon, and wouldn’t the dungeon completely collapse, regardless of the surrounding villages or terrain?

“Ian! Are you here?!”

He even openly invaded the meeting place between Ian and national executives.

After knocking out all the soldiers standing in the way.

“… Sylvie? Why aren’t you at the front line… .”

“Why is there a woman here?”

The woman sitting at the head table recognized Sylvie and stood up hesitantly.

Even before the regent could introduce herself, Sylvie tried to take Ian out.

“Wait! What are you doing now… .”

“Why are you with a woman? What did you two talk about?”

Ian looked around before answering.

Everyone was distracted by the sudden appearance of Sylvie.

Since he couldn’t talk about it here, Ian apologized and briefly left the conference room with Sylvie.

“Why are you here?”

“At least answer what I say.”

“… There were 10 people, not two. And 9 of them were men.”

“That’s not important! Why aren’t you with me and are you with another woman?”

“Silbi, this border country must be managed well as it is a supply route near the front and one of the second lines of defense… .”

“Is that more important than me?”

The story keeps going astray.

Sylvie wanted to be the only thing in the world to Ian.

I wanted there to be nothing else but myself.

“Ian. Don’t you trust me? Why are other things important in killing the Demon King? Just stay with me. Don’t go anywhere. huh? I will protect you. I will kill the devil too. I’ll do everything. Just stay with me, okay?”

“Actual cost… . You’re not there yet.”

“Then, please watch over me as I become stronger.”

“And you said there would be war. What about other people… .”

“Are they more important than me?!”

“You know it’s not. And, you’re not like this. It’s rude behavior.”

“Why do I have to be polite to them?”

“You… . Hehe, come with me and apologize first.”

“Why me?”

“Actual cost. It is a place where many people gather to discuss important issues. You shouldn’t come in or go out like this carelessly.”

Ian spoke as if scolding a child.

Sylvie wanted to refuse, but when she saw Ian’s stern look, she gave up.

“Okay… .”

I apologized, but that was it.

Sylvie’s anxiety could not be calmed.

I had to force my affection on Ian without stopping.

“I’m having a hard time. I just won’t do it.”

“Am I really precious? Looking at it these days, it doesn’t seem like it.”

“How much do you like me? Who do you like best among us? In the world?”

“Ian didn’t want to see me, right? I thought so.”

Every time that happened, Ian tried to please Sylvie as much as possible, at least when he was the only victim.

Every time Sylvie saw him at a loss, she was filled with a thrilling sense of conquest.

It was great to have confirmation of how important she was to Ian.

Sylvie was unstoppable.

Anyway, without him, Ian becomes weak and cannot kill the Demon King.

So, no matter what Sylvie says, Ian realizes that he has no choice but to adapt to her.

Ian also knew that what she said was not sincere but just a complaint, so he accepted it even though it was difficult.

I also felt a sense of responsibility that I had already begun to accept her love.

I also felt guilty that I had revealed the truth too late.

If Silbi could be satisfied with that emotional abuse even for a moment, I could handle it.

Then one day.

“Um, this… .”

A woman came to Ian and handed him a letter.

“Ah, yes. … There is no sender name? Where are you from?”

“Well, I wrote it.”

“… Yes?”

Ian looked at the shy woman.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but honestly, it’s annoying as I have to check important correspondence every time.

“You shouldn’t come here for something like this… .”

– Creepy.

Instincts built up over a long period of time screamed.

Ian threw himself at the woman without a moment to think.

Immediately after, a sharp ice flower bloomed where the two left.

“Ian… . What are you doing? Why are you hugging her?”

“Silbi, now you… . What are you doing?”

“You tried to approach Ian carelessly. So I… .”

“Please, don’t kill people for that reason… .”

As Ian spoke, he realized that the woman was still listening.

If things continue like this, bad reviews about the first party may spread.

“My friend has been having a bit of a hard time recently, and I’m sorry. Please go back quickly. Talk to the elf outside and he will give you a reasonable reward.”

“Are you siding with that bitch now?”

“Actual cost… . It’s not like that. Do you know what you were trying to do?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“No, it’s important. You tried to kill someone.”

“… Why, why are you scolding me? Did I do something wrong? I, I… .”

“You are right.”

“Why, why me… .”

Sylvie whined and tried to hug Ian, but Ian did not hug her right away.

“I promise I won’t do that again.”

“Otherwise it won’t work… .”

“And go to that person and apologize.”

Only after promising several times with a tearful face, Ian was able to hug her.

In the end, I couldn’t beat Sylvie.

Even if it was unintentional, this is a child that you encouraged, ignored, and provoked.

He also had a huge responsibility.

Sylvie realized something else.

Even if he does something naughty, Ian doesn’t hate himself.

That’s because Ian loves himself that much.

So, it came down to the logic that the more bad things you do, the more you can feel Ian’s love.

“I don’t like this. Please do something else.”

Sylvie spat out, throwing the food Ian had prepared on the floor.

Ian followed the instructions without a word.

Sylvie deliberately pushed Ian away.

I hoped it would hang a little longer.

I hoped that he would show more confidence and affection for me.

Because if I don’t, I’ll be too anxious.

“Ian… . It’s really weak. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why you want to kill the Demon King. So you can’t do it without me, right? Am I the only one?”

“Ian I’m not sure what you’re doing. Isn’t that all I need? I’ll admit to the other kids in Party 1. Honestly, you won’t be of much help in killing the Demon Lord. So don’t go anywhere and just stay with me.”

In front of Ian, he openly treated him poorly.

Still, Ian hid his displeasure and responded to Sylvie.

Now she doesn’t attack Ian’s public places.

Instead, they started beating him when he came back.

“Ouch, it hurts man.”

There was clear intention and power in the fists and kicks that were thrown as if in a grumble.

“I was in more pain.”

That was the right thing to do.

Because Ian made me feel sick.

Also, because of Ian in the past, I suffered and suffered that much.

He believed that he had the right to torment Ian to that extent.

And if it were Ian, I had no doubt that he would even love him.

Ian should be like that.

It was a reasonable thing to do, since there was a mistake he had made.

On the other hand, I wanted to see Ian sighing to himself like before, again.

Then he can push Ian even more.

By stimulating Ian’s guilt, he will be able to tie it to himself even more.

The intensity of violence gradually increased.

Ian was never one to show off his pain, but he was especially like this in front of Sylvie.

Even though my bones were broken, I held on, and healed my body with potions at night.

I thought it was the price for my sin of not understanding Sylvie’s feelings earlier.

Every time Kati saw him unable to sleep due to his potion addiction, she felt sad.

I know that he is partly responsible for Sylvie’s distortion.

But, does it still have to go this far?

Is it right to give it this kind of legitimacy?

Of the four people in the first party, the one that Carty recognized was Sylvia.

Even though she’s jealous, compared to the other three, she treats Ian like a human being.

However, these days, Katy hates Sylvia the most.

It was their problem, so I couldn’t intervene.

Because of Sylvia, I haven’t even gotten close to Ian lately.

Instead, whenever Ian had trouble sleeping, Katy couldn’t sleep either.

It was normal for Sylvie to start a fight here and there, but she didn’t do that to the other first party members.

I couldn’t do that.

‘It will be necessary to kill the Demon King… .’

I packed it for that reason, but I was actually afraid.

If you are weaker than Kylie, Beatrice, and Aria.

If the possibility of killing the Demon King is the lowest among these.

I might be abandoned by Ian.

In the end, it was Carty and Mercy who suffered from Ian’s absence.

“Mercy… . Honestly, you know that you are the most useless person here, right? I don’t even know how to fight. What is the need to kill the Demon King? . Ian almost died because of you, but you shamelessly still stick around.”

The two didn’t tell Ian because they didn’t want to worry him.

But there were no eternal secrets.

“I think you’re alive thanks to Ian.”

“… … .”

“By the way, if you want to kill all the demons, you have to kill them too later… .”

“Actual cost… ? What are you doing now?”

“Ian!”

Sylvie smiled so brightly that it did not match what she had just said.

However, Ian couldn’t smile.

“What are you saying to Katy now? .”

“That’s true, right?”

“Which is correct?”

“That’s right. He’s a magician.”

“… … .”

Sylvie had absolute justice on her back.

I am the mage of the first hero party.

She is loved by Ian, and Ian accepts her no matter what she does.

At the same time, Ian tormented himself first.

So, no matter what you do, your actions are justice.

“Silbi, I apologize.”

“… What?”

“Apologise to Kati. Until now… .”

“Are you siding with that Mine now?”

“Uh. That’s right now.”

“That’s right… ?”

Sylvie’s face turned red for a rare reason.

Kati, who was watching the situation, cautiously intervened.

“Master, I’m okay… .”

“Stay still.”

Recently, Sylvie’s behavior has been crossing the line.

If it was directed at myself, it was okay.

However, harm to others must be prevented at all costs.

This is also for actual expenses.

Sylvie looked at Katy and Ian in turn, then calmly spat.

“Why me?”

“You… .”

“So, you’re going to hate me? You won’t love me? You don’t need me?”

“That’s not the core of the problem now.”

“No, for me that is always the key.”

They speak the same language, but they are not saying the same thing.

There was no way conversation was possible.

Sylvie glared at Katy with a murderous intent, and then left without a word.

This time, Ian didn’t follow right away.

“Sir, I’m really fine.”

“Hey, what is that… . Ah-oh. Isn’t this your first time doing this?”

“… … .”

“Does a variety of things… .”

Ian’s thoughts soon reached Mercy.

The person closest to him here, except for Sylvie and Katy.

“No way, Mercido… .”

“… No.”

“Don’t lie to me. I can see it all.”

Ian walked to Sylvie’s tent.

I can accept complaints directed at myself, but this was not the case.

“Actual cost.”

“Ah, Ian.”

Even though she looked at Ian a little colder than usual, Sylvie didn’t feel anything at all today.

She just had that thought.

How much does Ian love me?

Even if he behaves as badly as he did today, he will eventually give in to himself.

It may be out of necessity, but love is probably the bigger reason.

Guilt was also a part of love, so it was obvious that Ian really loved him very much.

So far, Sylvie has crossed the line little by little.

Do something Ian doesn’t like and see his reaction.

If it’s okay, go further.

Ian has never pushed Sylvie away before.

How far do you cross the line and push yourself away?

No matter how much I overcome, I won’t be able to push it away.

“You’ve always been against Mercy… .”

“Ian, you know.”

Sylvie interrupted and asked.

“Do you love me?”

“Don’t avoid the answer.”

“I’m asking this seriously. If you answer, I will answer too.”

“… … .”

Ian thought for a moment.

It’s not because I don’t love you.

It’s just that I can’t read Sylvie’s thoughts right now.

Sylvie’s innocent expression calmly demanded an answer.

“Phew… . that… .”

Unbecoming of the situation, he made an embarrassed and uncomfortable expression that he had never shown before, cleared his throat a few times, and answered carefully.

It was the first time I had said this in my entire life.

“… Yes, I love you.”

Sylvie swallowed her saliva and barely managed to control her trembling heart.

It’s not just about finally hearing feelings that haven’t been confirmed verbally.

I was going crazy with anticipation of how Ian, who loves me, would react to what he would do from now on.

A snowy field that no one has ever stepped foot on.

It is the moment you first step onto a white field covered in freshly fallen snow.

Sylvie spoke as calmly as possible.

“I see… . But you know.”

I suppress the sudden increase in my breathing and let out a calm sigh.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Thoughts and words intersect.

‘You need me.’

“I hate you.”

‘You can’t help but love me.’

Sylvia showed a troubled smile, just like when Ian hurt her.

‘I’m doing this because I love you too, so please understand.’

By changing the echo of ‘I love you’ into ‘I’m sorry’.

“I’m sorry.”

‘love you.’