episode_0022

You were worried about me.

Perhaps it was just a formality, considering your position as my fiancée.

Our time together was too short to melt your frozen heart.

But I didn’t mind.

The fact that you worried about me made me so happy.

It felt like I could see you from that day.

You, folding the paper neatly and handing it to me with an expressionless face.

Maybe you felt embarrassed, as you quickly turned away after meeting my eyes.

I left you behind and headed to the battlefield.

You must have waited for me.

But what we faced in the end was separation.

The paper containing your worries was torn, and I met death.

It was the first time your always indifferent expression changed.

Your flushed face, tears streaming down your cheeks.

People usually don’t look good when they cry, but even that was beautiful about you.

Receiving your worries made me feel melancholic for no reason, and my heart became heavy.

“[I’m glad.]”

“[…Glad.]”

“[…That’s good.]”

The shining letters scatter into the void.

I suppressed my emotions as you wouldn’t understand.

And you never will.

It’s just my personal matter, and I didn’t want to waste our moments together on such things.

So, I forced a smile.

“Isn’t it amazing?”

“Yes, it is amazing. Who could have thought of such a thing?”

“I don’t know who, but I’m truly grateful because of them, I was able to give Luna Princess a gift.”

It was something I came up with in the hope that it would make Luna feel a little better.

But I couldn’t honestly say that.

It was too embarrassing for me that my feelings for you would be revealed.

I worried that I might be sick of this heavy love.

I feel a bit pathetic being a coward, but whenever I face Luna, I end up like this.

Thanks to her, I found the right path, and I’m living hard for her.

She can be the milestone of my life.

If I receive her hatred and end up losing her forever, what will be left for me?

Nothing.

Nothing at all will remain for me.

In the end, if Luna, the existence in my life, disappears, I am no different from a carriage that has lost its destination.

Running towards somewhere eternally, only to break down and shatter, unable to move forward anymore.

That’s why I’m cautious.

I’m so afraid of losing you.

I gathered my fluttering heart and continued speaking.

“Do you like the gift?”

[Yes, I’m very pleased. But, is it not quite an expensive item? I’m worried if I can accept it just like this.]

“I hope the princess will accept it.”

[But, I still haven’t been able to reciprocate the gift I received last time….]

“It’s okay. If the recipient is happy with the gift, the giver naturally feels happy too.”

I felt the same way.

I used to imagine you using this pen and smile.

I even took self-satisfaction in the thought that you could be comfortable.

So, I hope you don’t feel burdened.

I was already satisfied enough.

Of course, for someone as kind-hearted as you, it might be truly difficult.

“If you’re concerned about that… could you possibly give me a book as a gift?”

[A book?]

“Yes, if it’s something the princess had.”

[Are you sure that’s okay with you?]

“It’s more than enough.”

An expensive writing instrument and a well-read old book.

In terms of value, they are incomparable.

However, it’s not about material exchange; it’s about a gift.

I just wanted to receive the sentiment of you choosing something for me.

Luna got up from her seat and approached the bookshelf.

Her gaze moved slowly from top to bottom.

It seemed she was contemplating which book to give me.

A gentle breeze blew in through the window, causing the curtains to sway gracefully.

The sun, previously hidden by clouds, peeked out, casting its light on me and Luna together.

Everything visible seemed like a painting.

I silently watched her, resting my chin on my hand, elbow on the table.

The willingness to do something for me is so heartwarming that I can’t help but smile.

For a moment like that.

Sigh-.

Luna picked up a book and flicked the dust off the cover.

Then she came back to her seat and carefully placed the book on the table.

It was a book with many signs of being read.

Neatly kept, yet noticeable scars that couldn’t be hidden.

Perhaps she wanted to give me the most interesting one as a gift.

But.

“Why is this book so thick?”

The book is quite thick.

It could even be used as a bludgeon in self-defense.

I’ve lived as a vagabond, then I wielded a sword.

Nobles may say reading is culture, but it didn’t apply to me at least.

Was that why?

The book in front of me felt a little intimidating.

I wondered if I could read all of it.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested….

Well, that’s not true.

Isn’t it a book Luna enjoyed reading?

I wanted to know what she likes.

“What kind of book is it?”

“It’s a typical romance novel. If it doesn’t suit your taste, I can change it now.”

“It’s okay. I like romance novels too.”

Afraid Luna might be disappointed, I said something I didn’t feel.

I haven’t read a romance novel; in fact, the last book I read was a picture book.

‘What should I do.’

I felt uneasy.

If she asks about romance novels, I won’t be able to answer anything.

I’d be exposed as a liar.

But my worries ended there.

She didn’t ask me anything; she just handed me the book carefully.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Thank you. I’ll definitely read it.”

I nodded lightly and expressed my gratitude.

And inside, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Thankful for surviving another day.

But I can’t hide it forever.

Once we live together, she’ll inevitably find out.

The truth is, I don’t read books.

“Let’s start today.”

I’ve lived a life far from books, but that ends today.

I have to read, even if I don’t want to, to avoid disappointing her.

For the day when Luna and I can talk about books.

It was when I made up my mind inwardly.

A blue line began to be drawn in the air.

[Why….]

[Why to me….]

It took longer than speaking, but I had no complaints.

Instead, I was so grateful that I could have a conversation with her like this.

The long blue line finally made a period.

I was stunned the moment I saw the writing in the air.

[Why are you treating me well?]

I already knew what I should answer.

Because I want to save you, love you, and make you happy.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

You wouldn’t understand why I have these feelings.

Of course, I could just package it as “love at first sight.”

Since love that starts like that is common, it shouldn’t feel particularly strange.

However, I just couldn’t do it.

It felt like denying you who remained in my memories.

I didn’t want my memories to be packaged in such a way.

As I hesitated, Luna started moving the pen again.

“I can’t speak. Even having a conversation with you like this requires writing. I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for you.”

I wish she would stop.

I don’t want to see you belittle yourself.

But contrary to my wish, her pen didn’t stop.

“I can’t understand why you treat me well. If it’s because of the engagement, you don’t have to worry. I don’t intend to break off the engagement….”

Luna wrote with an expressionless face.

As if belittling herself was a natural thing.

Her argument wasn’t wrong.

She is deaf, and it’s true that people around her feel uncomfortable.

But I felt like my heart was being torn apart.

It felt like I knew why you had those thoughts, what kind of life you lived, and it squeezed my heart.

Perhaps I’ve become numb from too many wounds.

To the point where a new wound is nothing.

When I came to my senses, you were already strong, so I didn’t know.

And now that I know, I feel so pathetic.

10 years.

A whole 10 years.

The time I spent hurting you with such great pain.

I thought of myself as someone to be beaten to death, but in reality, I was someone who deserved even more than that.

However, I became a little curious.

Why did you love me?

It must have been so difficult, why on earth.

No, actually, that’s not so important.

In your love and effort, I found salvation.

So this time, it’s my turn to save you.

Thud-.

I grabbed her hand as she began to write in the air.