episode_0149

Humans have evolved into a higher-order animal through language, but in the most crucial DNA mixing process, they change like animals.

Language disappears, and only actions, sounds, eye contact, expressions, scents, and emotions dominate humans.

In that moment, humans are no different from animals.

Although there is some brief conversation, it is only a small part.

In the moment when swept away by intense emotions, humans abandon all reason and surrender to instinct.

“…….”

When I woke up in the morning, I was the same.

Last night, for sure….

“Oh… Oh…”

I spent time with the man I slept with in the narrow bed.

A tremendous amount of time.

Really.

Tremendous.

Time……

“…………….”

With the furnace output fully open, everything that happened since surrendering to the flow of consciousness passed through my mind one by one.

When I opened my airway wide, the fire burned vigorously.

I thought my body was going to burn up.

The flowing clothes.

Skin touching skin.

Sweat flowing nervously.

Even that, smiling and saying it’s cute———.

“… Ugh…”

The more I imagined, the more my fingers curled from the tips.

It felt like all the sensations I felt yesterday had come back to life.

As I felt Siwoo’s touch lingering all over my body, goosebumps rose, and my waist twisted involuntarily.

I didn’t want to remember this part.

At that moment, I was truly a beast.

The me who usually speaks calmly only used one Korean consonant and vowel.

“Gasp… Huk….”

I cautiously got out of bed while touching my burning face.

It was the first time I had seen my naked body since taking a bath.

The floor of the room was warm, and the air wasn’t that cold for early autumn.

“The boiler is on….”

The guy who always said you could endure with a blanket when living alone had turned on the boiler.

Maybe he was worried I would catch a cold?

First, let’s put on some clothes.

Because… I’m a little embarrassed.

With my heels raised, I slowly headed towards the clothes spread out in the middle of the room, but thud.

“Um… Are you awake?”

“Eek!”

Siwoo’s hand grabbed my thigh as I tried to walk towards the center of the room.

Electricity ran through my body, and I screamed as I ran to the bathroom.

“Hey, hey!”

“Ah. S-Sorry. You were getting dressed.”

With the door slammed shut, I plopped down on the toilet seat cover.

I was fine last night, right?

“I can’t… get a hold of myself….”

Yes, this is isolation to control the beast inside me.

If I stay still, I might unknowingly rush at Siwoo, so I left as if running away.

Once I crossed the line, Siwoo wouldn’t refuse if I asked him to do something.

He would do his best for me.

“You’re still beautiful.”

“Aaah!”

Don’t remember. Don’t remember.

I thought the fire in the furnace had gone out, but why are the embers still burning?

With this, I could roast 100 sweet potatoes.

“Are you okay?”

Thump thump.

Siwoo knocked on the bathroom door and asked.

“Ah, y-yeah! I’m fine….”

“Nothing wrong?”

“Nothing!”

Smiling, I slowly headed towards the bathtub.

I needed time to organize my thoughts.

“Yesterday… I did it because I was in a bad mood, but….”

I can’t keep doing this. Siwoo has an important competition ahead.

One month.

Just endure for one month.

Because Siwoo is here,

I’ll be okay.

I won’t die.

He promised to protect me……

“Yeah… I’m okay……”

I turned on the cold water and asked Siwoo to bring me my phone.

It was time to listen to classical music.

Whether I have a cold or not, it’s time to cool my head with cold water.

“Chaewon, here’s your phone.”

“Eek!”

“Why, why are you opening the door so loudly?!”

“… Ah. Sorry.”

Siwoo, who carelessly opened the door, apologized.

I quickly closed the door and pressed my back against it.

“Yesterday was a special situation, so let’s leave it at that. Not today!”

— You’ve already shown me everything.

“Th-then are you going to come out like that?”

After confessing everything to Siwoo, there was no reason to hide anything anymore.

I don’t want to lie to him.

I want to share everything with him.

We are the same person, but at the same time, we are different people.

“Being undressed is precious. It’s something you don’t see often…”

But what is my ear muttering about?

Precious?

— It was unique.

“Don’t speak like a game item!”

The more he talks, the more embarrassed I feel.

Should I just stay quiet?

— I really thought it was a precious sight. Even if I can’t see it again, I understand. It was that beautiful. Really… I liked it. Just in case. Don’t ever say you’ll serve me or anything like that.

Siwoo, you have a long way to go.

You received the wrong sex education.

In the end, I’m the one insulting myself.

Even if I wasn’t teased before, I could have strongly argued back. Why am I being teased now?

“If you’re not going to… ”

I took a short breath and headed towards the bathtub.

As I dipped my feet into the water that was about a third full, a scream involuntarily escaped me.

“Oops, it’s…!”

— Taking a cold bath?

“…Uh, just to cool my head.”

— Are you going to listen to classical music?

It was at that moment when I was getting used to the low water temperature.

Siwoo opened the door again without any precautions.

“Hey, hey!”

“It’s cold.”

“What does that have to do with you and that?”

While I covered my eyes with both hands, Siwoo got into the narrow bathtub first.

With a splash, he let go of my hand, shivering and laughing in the cold water.

“Even if it’s cold water, wouldn’t it be less cold if we get in together?”

“……”

Is he crazy?

Yeah, he’s not just crazy, he’s completely out of his mind.

To boldly suggest taking a bath together like this.

Especially after seeing each other naked for the first time yesterday.

“Come in. I’ve always wanted to listen to classical music like this with someone I love.”

His confident appearance left me speechless.

In the meantime, my body was honest, and my feet headed into the bathtub on their own.

Splash. Splash…

My lower body was soon immersed in the cold water.

Leaning my back completely against Siwoo, I asked, “Are you worried about looking like a pervert?”

“…Why would I look like a pervert?”

“That’s how it is?! Who lies down naked in a bathtub and listens to classical music? The teachers would scold you.”

Siwoo said, his eyes sparkling.

“The guy who used to mumble nonsense in the bathtub all the time is now showing a calm side next to his lover… Wouldn’t the teachers be proud?”

It was sincere.

If I ever meet piano teachers in my dreams, I must prostrate myself before them.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry…

“Are you silently apologizing to the teachers in your mind?”

“Don’t read my mind. It gives me chills.”

Siwoo chuckled as if he was excited, then lightly grabbed my cheek with his wet hand.

“You always used to read my mind.”

“I can’t even read my own mind.”

“You said I was someone else before.”

“I don’t know. Just be quiet.”

I grumbled as I folded my upper body into the water that had risen to my chest.

Bubble, bubble, bubble.

As I blew out foam from my mouth, Siwoo gently stroked my forehead with his wet hand.

“I love you.”

“……”

“What’s wrong. Have you already cooled off?”

“Uh… no.”

“Then why aren’t you answering?”

“I looove…”

And come to think of it, did I ever tell him I love him while dating Siwoo?

I felt embarrassed to bring up the word ‘love’ so openly.

It was so difficult to bring out the word ‘love.’

“Disappointed—.”

“I love you!”

“It feels forced.”

“I love you! Ah! I love you!”

Siwoo laughs as if teasing me is fun.

I whimpered like a child, banging on the drum.

Siwoo bumped his nose against the back of my head and groaned softly.

“You know even without me saying it… how much I love you.”

“Ouch… it hurts. I know, but I wanted to hear it.”

“You’re so annoying, seriously.”

Honestly, it’s definitely because we’re bathing together completely naked.

If we were both fully dressed, I wouldn’t feel this embarrassed.

It’s the environment’s fault, the environment.

This is all Siwoo’s fault for barging into the bathroom so recklessly.

I hunched my body and bubbled up the foam.

Siwoo pulled me into a hug from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder.

Our favorite classical music was playing from the phone placed on one side.

It was “La Campanella.”

“Do you remember how ecstatic you felt when you first heard this performance?”

“…Yes.”

“It was the piece that made us decide to become pianists.”

I closed my eyes and listened to the piano performance.

Pling pling.

The clear sound of the piano echoed.

Angels descended from the sky, lined up, and sang a hymn of blessings to us.

Love yourself. Love me.

Love someone. Your destined partner.

“It’s nice. Definitely.”

In that moment, I felt the surrounding environment naturally transforming into clouds.

We were dressed in clothes made of clouds, lying on top of them, listening to the piano performance.

It was truly a lovely melody.

Forgetting the fact that we were bathing together naked, we were invited to a concert just for the two of us and spent a happy time.

No matter what we do, what does it matter.

The place where we are together is heaven itself.

“Even though we said we’d die together….”

I have no intention of letting Siwoo die.

I have to live.

I won’t leave Siwoo alone like a café owner.

I have to live.

I must survive.

I will stay with him until he grows old and dies.

People always die.

Couples eventually part ways.

I will delay that time as much as I can.

I will plead with the heavens to change my fate.

“I love you.”

***

A month passed, and the change of seasons arrived along with the changing colors of the streets.

Siwoo made it to the finals of the Dongyoung Concerto Competition.

And I—,

“…Chaewon.”

I collapsed the day before the competition.

As Siwoo slept exhausted on the bed after crying, his mother, who was patting his back, looked at me and said,

“I think maybe you two… should start preparing yourselves mentally.”